Bleep it Nairaland. Always weird stories from new monikers. I really need to purge my mind from all the shit I've been reading on this forum lately. I dislike the anti-social media bill but each passing day I see the need to regulate the things we put on social media.
@op I think the best thing for your family is for you all to move out from that compound.


Nairaland needs cleansing

Issues like this are inevitable, if you live in a closely packed compound with relatives or neighbors. The woman is trying to use your baby to fill the void of her late baby. It is not a bad thing, though, but it can become an addiction, in the sense that she might begin to feel like the child also belongs to her. You wouldn't want a situation whereby, it will be like you are kinda dragging your baby with someone else. Use wisdom in dealing with her.

sisisioge:
Whew! You are so insensitive!

Firstly, you and your husband decided to be breeding children like rats since the cost of rent has been taken off your expenses right under the roof of the ones that housed you. Poor woman would die inside each time you pop out another baby like a rabbit while she keeps waiting unto the Lord...how insensitive of you.

Now she has lost her baby and using yours to console herself but nah...mama fruitful couldn't bear to share...whew!

If na me be her o...I will kuku tell my husband say seeing all these kids in the house is breaking my heart...you guys should give us space for a while...won't you guys just wonder if I'm wrong .
Iranu!

That's unfair
You can't ask OP and husband to terminate their pregnancy when it happens so as not to be "insensitive".
They're not God who gives children.
While I understand how painful it must be seeing OP get pregnant year after year, you cannot blame OP for that. She's not complaining that they're unable to look after their battalion children btw

My advice for you is to go for family planning.
The squatter has five kids.

Nne borrow yourself sense and stop bearing children. The economy adigo tight.

Thank you

Chiomamoses:

Lol I can’t ooo my children mean a lot to me o
Pray that God will bless her with her own soon

What are you doing with five children in this modern-day Nigeria
Are you competing for a star price or what?

corisande:


This was what crossed my mind. She may have breastfed the baby

the fact that she still reported to her husband shows she doesn't have a good heart. Then the husband couldn't even have sense, he still called OP husband to warn... All because they are housing them. A woman should share her baby with you because u are sharing accommodation with her, imagine the guts. Kai.

sisisioge:
Whew! You are so insensitive!

Firstly, you and your husband decided to be breeding children like rats since the cost of rent has been taken off your expenses right under the roof of the ones that housed you. Poor woman would die inside each time you pop out another baby like a rabbit while she keeps waiting unto the Lord...how insensitive of you.

Now she has lost her baby and using yours to console herself but nah...mama fruitful couldn't bear to share...whew!

If na me be her o...I will kuku tell my husband say seeing all these kids in the house is breaking my heart...you guys should give us space for a while...won't you guys just wonder if I'm wrong .
Iranu!

how dare you, daughter of jezebel! Shame shame shame!

sisisioge:
Whew! You are so insensitive!

Firstly, you and your husband decided to be breeding children like rats since the cost of rent has been taken off your expenses right under the roof of the ones that housed you. Poor woman would die inside each time you pop out another baby like a rabbit while she keeps waiting unto the Lord...how insensitive of you.

Now she has lost her baby and using yours to console herself but nah...mama fruitful couldn't bear to share...whew!

If na me be her o...I will kuku tell my husband say seeing all these kids in the house is breaking my heart...you guys should give us space for a while...won't you guys just wonder if I'm wrong .
Iranu!

your write up is a disappointment and shows the kind of evil and malicious person you are. Shame to you

yeyeosoronga:


That's unfair
You can't ask OP and husband to terminate their pregnancy when it happens so as not to be "insensitive".
They're not God who gives children.
While I understand how painful it must be seeing OP get pregnant year after year, you cannot blame OP for that. She's not complaining that they're unable to look after their battalion children btw

Whew! That's my true opinion aunty...the sight of her multiplication must have tortured the other woman greatly...yet she ofcouse knows what you stated above and remained of good countenance and continued to accommodate and play with her children. Then she lost a baby in December and madam here is already banning her from carrying her baby...biko make them swerve jare.

By the way, I've seen this play before and can greatly imagine the agony the other woman is going through.

LadySarah:
My advice for you is to go for family planning.
The poor one has five kids. The rich none.

Nne borrow yourself sense and stop bearing children you can't fend for.

Thank you

I'm tired o

zeb04:
your write up is a disappointment and shows the kind of evil and malicious person you are. Shame to you

Shame on you too aunty ... Happy Sunday.

sisisioge:


Whew! That's my true opinion aunty...the sight of her multiplication must have tortured the other woman greatly...yet she ofcouse knows what you stated above and remained of good countenance and continued to accommodate and play with her children. Then she lost a baby in December and madam here is already banning her from carrying her baby...biko make them swerve jare.

By the way, I've seen this play before and can greatly imagine the agony the other woman is going through.

Yes, it must be real agony trying to have a child for so long and losing it after birth, but it's not the OPs fault, and shouldn't be seen as such.
No responsible mother leaves her baby for hours with another person, especially when she is not working. Even working mothers quickly go to get their children from creche after work, and try to spend as much time with their babies as they can.
OP also needs to bond with her child. The woman in question can always go to OPs house to play with the baby, and not take the baby away from it's mother. I'm sure OP will not mind if she comes to her home to spend time with the baby.
Unless, you're suggesting OP gives out her child to the woman in question to raise, but she obviously doesn't want to do that, and I can never fault her for that.

yeyeosoronga:


Yes, it must be real agony trying to have a child for so long and losing it after birth, but it's not the OPs fault, and shouldn't be seen as such.
No responsible mother leaves her baby for hours with another person, especially when she is not working. Even working mothers quickly go to get their children from creche after work, and try to spend as much time with their babies as they can.
OP also needs to bond with her child. The woman in question can always go to OPs house to play with the baby, and not take the baby away from it's mother. I'm sure OP will not mind if she comes to her home to spend time with the baby.
Unless, you're suggesting OP gives out her child to the woman in question to raise, but she obviously doesn't want to do that, and I can never fault her for that.

Another solution...nah, she declared that she's not sharing. While it is most understandable that OP's fertility or fertility struggle of her SIL isn't OP's fault, being a bit sensitive would have helped. Instead of outrightly banning her from picking her child, she could just have suggested this your advise up there. Anyways, I continue to find her action insensitive... My opinion remains the same.

By the way, I wasn't asking her to terminate her pregnancies or donate her baby to the SIL...I was just advocating sharing to ease this woman's pain now. Jeez...may God bless everyone looking to be fruitful with their own babies.

I wish the SIL good fortune with her next pregnancy and hope the OP will change her ways.

sisisioge:


Another solution...nah, she declared that she's not sharing. While it is most understandable that OP's fertility or fertility struggle of her SIL isn't OP's fault, being a bit sensitive would have helped. Instead of outrightly banning her from picking her child, she could just have suggested this your advise up there. Anyways, I continue to find her action insensitive... My opinion remains the same.

By the way, I wasn't asking her to terminate her pregnancies or donate her baby to the SIL...I was just advocating sharing to ease this woman's pain now. Jeez...may God bless everyone looking to be fruitful with their own babies.

I wish the SIL good fortune with her next pregnancy and hope the OP will change her ways.

You keep saying sharing, sharing, sharing.
I noticed it earlier, but didnt want to broach on that subject.
Children are not pieces of commodity to be shared. They are flesh and blood like you and I. They also need their parent's love and attention, as many of us got from our parents.
Don't see them as objects to be pawned off on one relative or the other, under one guise or the other.
What would the child have preferred in this case? Probably to stay with its mother 24/7, and even if possible to gum body to her.
What I understood from the OP is that the woman in question keeps the child for extended periods of time, and she has to use different gimmicks to get her child back. That's not necessary. Anything more than 2 hours at any period is extended in my opinion.
Play with the child for 2 hours, return child to its mother yourself to be fed and cooed over. The mum will be more reassured you will always bring her child back without any prompting and would be at ease leaving the child in your care. Mother has a responsibility towards that child, and she doesn't want to fail in that. She has to protect and nurture her child. It's innate, for most normal people

funmisticqueen2:
And dumb enough to be bearing children for this half man you call your husband. You both deserve each other

What has the OP or her husband done wrong?
She hasn't complained their children are starving or they're unable to feed their children, or pay school fees for them.
Her husband works with his brother, and so what? He's not free loading on his brother, but works in his brother's establishment.
Baba Ijebu has several of his relations working in high places in his betting company, that doesn't mean they're free loading on him. They are providing a service, and should be paid for it too.
I'm sure OPs husband provides services in his brother's company and the brother trusts him, otherwise that union would have ended since. If he doesn't work with his brother anymore, doesn't mean he won't find somewhere else to work or live btw.

yeyeosoronga:


You keep saying sharing, sharing, sharing.
I noticed it earlier, but didnt want to broach on that subject.
Children are not pieces of commodity to be shared. They are flesh and blood like you and I. They also need their parent's love and attention, as many of us got from our parents.
Don't see them as objects to be pawned off on one relative or the other, under one guise or the other.
What would the child have preferred in this case? Probably to stay with its mother 24/7, and even if possible to gum body to her.
What I understood from the OP is that the woman in question keeps the child for extended periods of time, and she has to use different gimmicks to get her child back. That's not necessary. Anything more than 2 hours at any period is extended in my opinion.
Play with the child for 2 hours, return child to its mother yourself to be fed and cooed over. The mum will be more reassured you will always bring her child back without any prompting and would be at ease leaving the child in your care. Mother has a responsibility towards that child, and she doesn't want to fail in that. She has to protect and nurture her child. It's innate, for most normal people

You know what, let me leave you guys to it. Sebi if her baby had survived, we won't be talking about sharing, pawning, gifting, etc here. May God bless every woman that look onto him for precious babies and especially bless OP's sister in-law with her own kids soon enough. Good morning.

sisisioge:


You know what, let me leave you guys to it. Sebi if her baby had survived, we won't be talking about sharing, pawning, gifting, etc here. May God bless every woman that look onto him for precious babies and especially bless OP's sister in-law with her own kids soon enough. Good morning.

Amen to your prayer.

Happy Sunday

yeyeosoronga:


What has the OP or her husband done wrong?
She hasn't complained their children are starving or they're unable to feed their children, or pay school fees for them.
Her husband works with his brother, and so what? He's not free loading on his brother, but works in his brother's establishment.
Baba Ijebu has several of his relations working in high places in his betting company, that doesn't mean they're free loading on him. They are providing a service, and should be paid for it too.
I'm sure OPs husband provides services in his brother's company and the brother trusts him, otherwise that union would have ended since. If he doesn't work with his brother anymore, doesn't mean he won't find somewhere else to work or live btw.

having 5 children when you are not dangote is not wisdom at all.

Working for his elder brother, living in his family house, what next? Sucking his elder brother's penis?Giving his newborn to his elder brother's wife? Everyone should have some autonomy. Her husband seriously lacks it.

He can't even defend his wife and child. That's why I call him a half man.


And she that is giving birth upandan. Is she educated? Can't she use wisdom?

I give up. Nigerians are hopeless.

funmisticqueen2:
having 5 children when you are not dangote is not wisdom at all.

Working for his elder brother, living in his family house, what next? Sucking his elder brother's penis?Giving his newborn to his elder brother's wife? Everyone should have some autonomy. Her husband seriously lacks it.

He can't even defend his wife and child. That's why I call him a half man.


And she that is giving birth upandan. Is she educated? Can't she use wisdom?

I give up. Nigerians are hopeless.

It's always advisable to plan your family according to your pocket, but OP hasn't mentioned they are struggling financially to look after their children.
They live in a separate house in the brother's compound.
You don't know the dynamics around the OP's family. The older brother may be the first son who by the customs of their land inherited all his father's property, and that may even be their father's property/land they are living on.
Anyway, the husband needs to understand now that there is a very visible, marked line between my property and my brother's property sha.

sisisioge:


You know what, let me leave you guys to it. Sebi if her baby had survived, we won't be talking about sharing, pawning, gifting, etc here. May God bless every woman that look onto him for precious babies and especially bless OP's sister in-law with her own kids soon enough. Good morning.

It is not the OP's fault that the SIL lost her baby, you don't expect her to be emotionally blackmailed into giving up her own baby.
It's a baby, and not a toy which you can just give away.
Babies too have feelings, they know when they're not with their mothers.
Like someone earlier typed, the SIL might have breastfed the baby.

funmisticqueen2:
And dumb enough to be bearing children for this half man you call your husband. You both deserve each other

What is your problem really?
Why are you so bitter and angry and mad at the world? Hmm?
Na your body she take carry the belle? Abi she tell you say her children dey starve?

yeyeosoronga:


It's always advisable to plan your family according to your pocket, but OP hasn't mentioned they are struggling financially to look after their children.
They live in a separate house in the brother's compound.
You don't know the dynamics around the OP's family. The older brother may be the first son who by the customs of their land inherited all his father's property, and that may even be their father's property/land they are living on.
Anyway, the husband needs to understand now that there is a very visible, marked line between my property and my brother's property sha.

You are by far the most intelligent woman on NL. I duff my hat for you. Didn't know intelligent women exited before now here.
See how you floored those 2 talking gibberish.

What a reasonable and witty replies.
I wonder why she thinks OP is insensitive when it comes to matters concerning an innocent infant all in the name of feeling pity for the other woman whose inability to conceive is nobody's fault.

Yeye is better than Sisi!

Mariangeles:

It is not the OP's fault that the SIL lost her baby, you don't expect her to be emotionally blackmailed into giving up her own baby.
It's a baby, and not a toy which you can just give away.
Babies too have feelings, they know when they're not with their mothers.
Like someone earlier typed, the SIL might have breastfed the baby.

Who asked to give the child away? That's how another says I asked them to terminate pregnancies... Whew! Biko let me let you guys rest...typical to lopsidedly view opinions that seem unpopular. Happy Sunday.

funmisticqueen2:
having 5 children when you are not dangote is not wisdom at all.

what is wisdom? Spewing gibberish like you do? Some people love kids.

Working for his elder brother, living in his family house, what next? Sucking his elder brother's penis?Giving his newborn to his elder brother's wife? Everyone should have some autonomy. Her husband seriously lacks it.

I agree.

He can't even defend his wife and child. That's why I call him a half man.

I agree he defaulted on this. So an error makes him a half man?then what will we call you? A-quarter woman is an exaggeration of your worth as you default in all criteria that makes up for being woman(looks,character, wisdom etc)

And she that is giving birth upandan. Is she educated? Can't she use wisdom?

why should a woman choice on the number of children she wants cause your heartache. Are you wise yourself?

I give up. Nigerians are hopeless.

you are the one hopeless.

Funmi,if there is anyone I think of one nairaland it is you. Its a faceless forum and people's words should not be taken serious but I am worried for you that your words here are a reflection of who you are in real life(if that is it then it will be disastrous).
I will give you a 100k if you see a psychologist (not bad intention). I promise to do that on completion of a therapy with a psychologist

Chiomamoses:
I have 5 children for my husband d last one is 7months my husband brother wife was pregnant wit her first child after waiting for almost 10 years we were all happy for them and couldn’t wait for him to be with us unfortunately on December 27 she delivered tru CS and lost d baby that same day is so painful for us as family we stay in the same compound the house belonged to my husband brother , I take care of her she start getting too attached to my baby she want to be with her all the time she will take her away from me and stay with in her house all day until I go for her for breastfeeding then last time she ask me if she can spend the night with my baby but I refuse making excuses for her not to be offended. For the past 1 week I have been avoiding her and keeping my baby inside d house making excuses she is sleeping or she is not feeling well and she ask my elder daughter to come take the baby and I refuse and she came asking me if she offended me I said no and lied my baby was not feeling well but she was offended and told her husband cos she has no child and I have stopped my children coming to her house my brother in law got angry and told my husband to warn me my husband cautioned me which I went to her and apologise even taught what she said is not true cos I do let my other 4 children to go to her house and I only stopped my baby going there because she is getting too attached to her and I know she is feeling so much pain for d loss of her baby but me too I need my baby I don’t like sharing her with anyone. For 3 days now she ceased talking to me and stop responding my greeting. Please am I wrong ?

I have to be truthful with my words, you are really faulty for the action you displayed

You know very well that she lost her baby and need a child to comfort her and there you are depriving her of it

Too bad for what ever reason you have for doing so

You are supposed to bring her closer to you and make her feel loved

No matter how she wants to be with your child and children, she will never harm anyone of them

That you prayed and it works for you, is the same person she is praying to yet it hasn't worked for her

Pls get close to her and give her the freedom to be with your child

It's only God that can guarantee us our own safety not man

If she want to be with your child, allow her, in as much as your child doesn't come back with mark of violence on him or her

They are in distress and in need of a child

A woman without a child is not always happy

You guys have 5 children in this country Nigeria. Five children. one two three four five. Jesus is Lord.

Chiomamoses:
My dear if it was me I would have left this house long time ago but my husband don’t want to upgrade he want to live all of his life under his brother oo he want to be his slave staying in his house with rent free and working for him he don’t want to be a man and he doesn’t see anything wrong my family are in the village i can’t go back there

Mehn this is serious oo... Just keep avoiding her then... And make sure your children don't eat in her house... She's still going through trauma...

I’m not competing with anyone my children are my blessing from God if God bless me with them and who am I to say no? apart from that we are not struggling because their father work hard for them to be educated , fed and clothed. My husband elder sister has 7 children if their brother has none yet it is not our fault and our prayers is for God to bless them with many children too

Ogbunigwe2018:

What are you doing with five children in this modern-day Nigeria
Are you competing for a star price or what?

I had no problem for her to have my baby with her but I had to stop when she start getting too attached with my baby to the extend of her asking to spend the night with my baby a baby that she is knows is breastfeed at night and she wanted to spend the night with her is that normal? If I don’t go to her for my baby when is time for her to breastfeed she won’t bring her to me I always have to keep going there which I feel like I’m a surrogate mother to my own baby and I wasn’t comfortable and I had to stop everything. We have 5 children in the compound why she is just want to be so attached to my baby and not with my other children?

frozen70:


I have to be truthful with my words, you are really faulty for the action you displayed

You know very well that she lost her baby and need a child to comfort her and there you are depriving her of it

Too bad for what ever reason you have for doing so

You are supposed to bring her closer to you and make her feel loved

No matter how she wants to be with your child and children, she will never harm anyone of them

That you prayed and it works for you, is the same person she is praying to yet it hasn't worked for her

Pls get close to her and give her the freedom to be with your child

It's only God that can guarantee us our own safety not man

If she want to be with your child, allow her, in as much as your child doesn't come back with mark of violence on him or her

They are in distress and in need of a child

A woman without a child is not always happy

corisande:


This was what crossed my mind. She may have breastfed the baby

is it that wrong? I really don't know the effect

sisisioge:
Whew! You are so insensitive!

Firstly, you and your husband decided to be breeding children like rats since the cost of rent has been taken off your expenses right under the roof of the ones that housed you. Poor woman would die inside each time you pop out another baby like a rabbit while she keeps waiting unto the Lord...how insensitive of you.

Now she has lost her baby and using yours to console herself but nah...mama fruitful couldn't bear to share...whew!

If na me be her o...I will kuku tell my husband say seeing all these kids in the house is breaking my heart...you guys should give us space for a while...won't you guys just wonder if I'm wrong .
Iranu!

You are just very silly. Are u saying the couple with 5 kids abi na de kids self are the cause of the misfortune? If she allows the woman such privilege on the infant just as she desires and something happens na pathetic doublefaced idiots like you will still blame her for giving out her child to the other woman.