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I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 3:20pm On Feb 09, 2020
Arthur21:
what is wisdom? Spewing gibberish like you do? Some people love kids.
I agree.
I agree he defaulted on this. So an error makes him a half man?then what will we call you? A-quarter woman is an exaggeration of your worth as you default in all criteria that makes up for being woman(looks,character, wisdom etc)
why should a woman choice on the number of children she wants cause your heartache. Are you wise yourself?
you are the one hopeless.

Funmi,if there is anyone I think of one nairaland it is you. Its a faceless forum and people's words should not be taken serious but I am worried for you that your words here are a reflection of who you are in real life(if that is it then it will be disastrous).
I will give you a 100k if you see a psychologist (not bad intention). I promise to do that on completion of a therapy with a psychologist
don't get your balls in a twist over someone's matter, truth hurts, that's why you are pained.

Use that 100k to fend for yourself and your family.

1 Like

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 3:28pm On Feb 09, 2020
Mariangeles:

What is your problem really? undecided
Why are you so bitter and angry and mad at the world? Hmm?
Na your body she take carry the belle? Abi she tell you say her children dey starve?
why are you being re-tarded like this.

It is my opinion, let me air it. Did I say she should kill her children? How many children do you have? 5? 8? 10? Why are you so pained about my post? That you don't like my opinion or see eye to eye with it doesn't mean I am bitter, or angry.

The only thing that truly gets me angry is people doing stupid SH¡T especially when they should know better.

I know what I see people suffer everyday that makes me say the things I am saying. Respect that and yourself too. Good day.
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 3:31pm On Feb 09, 2020
yeyeosoronga:


It's always advisable to plan your family according to your pocket, but OP hasn't mentioned they are struggling financially to look after their children.
They live in a separate house in the brother's compound.
You don't know the dynamics around the OP's family. The older brother may be the first son who by the customs of their land inherited all his father's property, and that may even be their father's property/land they are living on.
Anyway, the husband needs to understand now that there is a very visible, marked line between my property and my brother's property sha.
thanks so much. For speaking the way you did.

You don't have to agree with what I said. I guess MariaAngeles and Arthur21 can learn a thing or two from you about how not to be so An@l in thier replies

1 Like

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Mariangeles(f): 3:49pm On Feb 09, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
why are you being re-tarded like this.

It is my opinion, let me air it. Did I say she should kill her children? How many children do you have? 5? 8? 10? Why are you so pained about my post? That you don't like my opinion or see eye to eye with it doesn't mean I am bitter, or angry.

The only thing that truly gets me angry is people doing stupid SH¡T especially when they should know better.

I know what I see people suffer everyday that makes me say the things I am saying. Respect that and yourself too. Good day.




You have the rights to your opinion, yes, but that does not give you the right to go about insulting people.
That is a married woman with children who you not only insulted, you included her husband.
You might as well have insulted the whole family.
You don't deserve any respect because you don't give it, so shut up and sit down!
You are intolerable and overbearing...I can tell...add a nag to that!
Oh! And by the way, you're the retárd with no class!

9 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Mariangeles(f): 3:50pm On Feb 09, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
thanks so much. For speaking the way you did.

You don't have to agree with what I said. I guess MariaAngeles and Arthur21 can learn a thing or two from you about how not to be so An@l in thier replies
You noticed the way she made her points without being disrespectful? You liked that didn't you yeah? BE LIKE THAT!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by EricSmallz(m): 4:13pm On Feb 09, 2020
You are selfish sha. 5 kids? If you were my wife, I would instruct you to gift that child to that poor woman. 4 kids are more than enough. Do you want to eat some? And from the look of things, your husband is even broke o. He can't even afford to rent a house, but you are just giving birth like bird. What if God gets angry and withdraw the kids?

1 Like

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 4:44pm On Feb 09, 2020
@op, I will tell u the truth.
U didn't do well at all.
What u did is uncalled for honestly

U don't know the agony that lady is passing pass through.
U pretended u know and care but u don't.
Ur actions speaks for u.

What's wrong in her being with your child all day?
Common, that child is helping her to cope before she runs mad!
That your innocent child is helping her to heal!
Why can't you do that for her?

I will practically relocate to her place and give her time to heal if it will help. Show love! Be humane. We are very inhumane in this country.
U live in the same compound and are family!
Help this woman any way u can before she loses it!
Tomorrow u go to church to pray, what are u praying for?
Do u know the definition of love?
Do u know tomorrow?
U can't seem to part with your child but assuming u have a maid, won't u part with this child of yours to go to work?
Help your fellow woman heal. At night, that woman will be in so much agony.
She is lucky to have a means to help her heal but u are so selfish to see that. U are practically mocking her.
Nobody knows tomorrow.

Popular opinion here will tell u that u did the right thing but I'm quite sure u are troubled in your mind and feeling guilty that's why u asked for opinion.

Go to her and apologise and ask for way to make her feel better though she has already formed her opinion about you and u just destroyed a very good relationship by being insensitive.

And point of correction, your children are never your life.
Mistakes mothers make always. Go and get a life.
Your children are part of your life, the way your husband, marriage or work are.
Tomorrow if those children don't live up to your expectation, u will crucify them.
Children are never the life of any parent.

13 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 4:59pm On Feb 09, 2020
.

7 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by LadySarah: 5:25pm On Feb 09, 2020
Chiomamoses:
I had no problem for her to have my baby with her but I had to stop when she start getting too attached with my baby to the extend of her asking to spend the night with my baby a baby that she is knows is breastfeed at night and she wanted to spend the night with her is that normal? If I don’t go to her for my baby when is time for her to breastfeed she won’t bring her to me I always have to keep going there which I feel like I’m a surrogate mother to my own baby and I wasn’t comfortable and I had to stop everything. We have 5 children in the compound why she is just want to be so attached to my baby and not with my other children?


This is wrong though on her part. I feel her mental health is disturbed.

Pls be gentle with her in this her trying period. It's not a good thing for a woman to experience.
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by frozen70(f): 5:26pm On Feb 09, 2020
Chiomamoses:
I had no problem for her to have my baby with her but I had to stop when she start getting too attached with my baby to the extend of her asking to spend the night with my baby a baby that she is knows is breastfeed at night and she wanted to spend the night with her is that normal? If I don’t go to her for my baby when is time for her to breastfeed she won’t bring her to me I always have to keep going there which I feel like I’m a surrogate mother to my own baby and I wasn’t comfortable and I had to stop everything. We have 5 children in the compound why she is just want to be so attached to my baby and not with my other children?


Alright, though I don't support passing the night with baby
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by bukatyne(f): 5:30pm On Feb 09, 2020
sassysure:

That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?
Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.

YPP kiss cheesy
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 5:46pm On Feb 09, 2020
bukatyne:


YPP kiss cheesy
Who sabi me here? kiss cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by sisisioge: 5:52pm On Feb 09, 2020
sassysure:

That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?
Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.

Hian...the mention is too much biko. I didn't say dash out your child...I said allow your sister in-law to share in raising the child. That opinion remain mine!

Meanwhile, so glad you moved on from your own experience...some tackle such life's issue like a bull, others like a dog. If only we can all be bulls while dealing with life's issues...meanwhile, dont reply me...the mention don tire me abegi grin
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by saintneo(m): 5:53pm On Feb 09, 2020
Theyoungmatron:
What you did is not wrong.
The attachment she is forming with your baby is unhealthy especially for her own mental health.
She needs to seek for professional help ASAP, as it is obvious that she is still in the early stages of grieving after almost 3 months.

Awesome response.

Chiomamoses you need a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. He needs to talk to his brother about his wife getting professional help so that she won't loose it.

Also, you need to encourage her (co-wife). Give her courage and your husband should encourage his brother too.

Avoid quarrels!
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Sankabson(m): 5:54pm On Feb 09, 2020
If im to be that husband. I'll send you and your husband. You're a bad energy in that House.


If You dont like sharing things, You and your husband should find some else to stay. People like You deserve to be seriously dealt with.


You're wicked and selfish!!

1 Like

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 6:11pm On Feb 09, 2020
Mariangeles:

You noticed the way she made her points without being disrespectful? You liked that didn't you yeah? BE LIKE THAT!
Take your own advice first.
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 6:13pm On Feb 09, 2020
sassysure:

That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?

Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.
@the bolded is a very big lie. Please be guided

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 6:16pm On Feb 09, 2020
Mariangeles:


You have the rights to your opinion, yes, but that does not give you the right to go about insulting people.
That is a married woman with children who you not only insulted, you included her husband.
You might as well have insulted the whole family.
You don't deserve any respect because you don't give it, so shut up and sit down!
You are intolerable and overbearing...I can tell...add a nag to that!
Oh! And by the way, you're the retárd with no class!
keep on typing like an epileptic person.

I won't join in your foolishness any longer, lest you beat me with your experience with stupidity. Focus on your life and don't distract yourself with me.
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 6:17pm On Feb 09, 2020
EricSmallz:
You are selfish sha. 5 kids? If you were my wife, I would instruct you to gift that child to that poor woman. 4 kids are more than enough. Do you want to eat some? And from the look of things, your husband is even broke o. He can't even afford to rent a house, but you are just giving birth like bird. What if God gets angry and withdraw the kids?
Gbam. Preach the truth
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Nobody: 6:18pm On Feb 09, 2020
sisisioge:


Hian...the mention is too much biko. I didn't say dash out your child...I said allow your sister in-law to share in raising the child. That opinion remain mine!

Meanwhile, so glad you moved on from your own experience...some tackle such life's issue like a bull, others like a dog. If only we can all be bulls while dealing with life's issues...meanwhile, dont reply me...the mention don tire me abegi grin
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Mariangeles(f): 6:37pm On Feb 09, 2020
[s]
funmisticqueen2:
keep on typing like an epileptic person.

I won't join in your foolishness any longer, lest you beat me with your experience with stupidity. Focus on your life and don't distract yourself with me.
[/s]
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Ayofaks(f): 7:17pm On Feb 09, 2020
You're not a nice person madam OP. We know how these things are...no be Naija women again? You're only pretending to be nice, you can gloat in your mind all you want, God will definitely answer that woman's prayer.

2 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by yeyeosoronga: 7:42pm On Feb 09, 2020
Chiomamoses:
I had no problem for her to have my baby with her but I had to stop when she start getting too attached with my baby to the extend of her asking to spend the night with my baby a baby that she is knows is breastfeed at night and she wanted to spend the night with her is that normal? If I don’t go to her for my baby when is time for her to breastfeed she won’t bring her to me I always have to keep going there which I feel like I’m a surrogate mother to my own baby and I wasn’t comfortable and I had to stop everything. We have 5 children in the compound why she is just want to be so attached to my baby and not with my other children?


The child is yours, OP. You have a responsibility towards that child, and you just have to do what is in the best interest of your child at all times. I feel sorry for your sister in law, but at all times, the best interest of a child (who has no say in any of this) should always be sought.
Dont let anyone on here try to emotionally blackmail you. Non of them will give their own children to anyone to keep or share.
What is the best thing for this child in all of this? Staying with it's mother or with it's aunt? Can the mother look after this child better than the aunt, or is the mother sick or facing some stress that will make her unable to look after her own child?
The answer is probably NO.
Let your sister in law play with the child, but when its time to feed, change her clothes, and other stuff needed to be done for the child etc you as a mother need to look out for your child.
Perhaps you could take time out of your schedule everyday (especially since you have other children to look after) to take your baby to spend time with her and you also help her around the house/keep her company before you guys go back to your own place. That's a possible option.
Show your support and be there for her in your own way
I know if you were living in another place, and not in the same compound, this whole matter will not even arise in the first place sef.
It's a bit if a sticky situation to be in.

6 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Chiomamoses(f): 8:37pm On Feb 09, 2020
Thank God I’m not your wife wait until you find yourself in the same situations as me then you will know if giving away your child can be that easy like u think , to me it is not something I can do and my prayers for her is to God to bless her with many children, it is not about being broke the fact is my husband don’t want to move out of his brother house cos me I’m ready but he is not

EricSmallz:
You are selfish sha. 5 kids? If you were my wife, I would instruct you to gift that child to that poor woman. 4 kids are more than enough. Do you want to eat some? And from the look of things, your husband is even broke o. He can't even afford to rent a house, but you are just giving birth like bird. What if God gets angry and withdraw the kids?

2 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Chiomamoses(f): 8:38pm On Feb 09, 2020
Amen to your prayer

Ayofaks:
You're not a nice person madam OP. We know how these things are...no be Naija women again? You're only pretending to be nice, you can gloat in your mind all you want, God will definitely answer that woman's prayer.

1 Like

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Chiomamoses(f): 8:40pm On Feb 09, 2020
Thank you my dear you are right if we were in our own house all this wouldn’t have happened and my husband just don’t understand we need our own space and privacy

yeyeosoronga:


The child is yours, OP. You have a responsibility towards that child, and you just have to do what is in the best interest of your child at all times. I feel sorry for your sister in law, but at all times, the best interest of a child (who has no say in any of this) should always be sought.
Dont let anyone on here try to emotionally blackmail you. Non of them will give their own children to anyone to keep or share.
What is the best thing for this child in all of this? Staying with it's mother or with it's aunt? Can the mother look after this child better than the aunt, or is the mother sick or facing some stress that will make her unable to look after her own child?
The answer is probably NO.
Let your sister in law play with the child, but when its time to feed, change her clothes, and other stuff needed to be done for the child etc you as a mother need to look out for your child.
Perhaps you could take time out of your schedule everyday (especially since you have other children to look after) to take your baby to spend time with her and you also help her around the house/keep her company before you guys go back to your own place. That's a possible option.
Show your support and be there for her in your own way
I know if you were living in another place, and not in the same compound, this whole matter will not even arise in the first place sef.
It's a bit if a sticky situation to be in.
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by crackkhaus: 8:46pm On Feb 09, 2020
Ayofaks:
You're not a nice person madam OP. We know how these things are...no be Naija women again? You're only pretending to be nice, you can gloat in your mind all you want, God will definitely answer that woman's prayer.
So Naija women are not nice? shocked
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by crackkhaus: 8:53pm On Feb 09, 2020
@ chiomamoses, you did absolutely nothing wrong oo.. Na your pikin, na you born am.

It's not your responsibility to make another woman feel better for not having kids or losing a kid, that's the job of a therapist or psychologist.

Don't let anyone here blackmail you into thinking you're an evil person.
If you were living inside your own compound, will someone come from outside to start telling you to give her your child to spend the night with? Lmao cheesy

This stupidity is world-class, I never hear this kind thing before.

People are calling you selfish and insentive on top your own pikin again.. Haaa, nothing I will not read on NL.

Who raised all these broken people like this? Kai

14 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Ayofaks(f): 9:03pm On Feb 09, 2020
crackkhaus:

So Naija women are not nice? shocked

Are you not a Naija man? tongue
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by Chiomamoses(f): 9:07pm On Feb 09, 2020
Thank you my dear I don’t mind them because I know that I’m not evil I’m just doing what any mother can do in my shoes


crackkhaus:
@ chiomamoses, you did absolutely nothing wrong oo.. Na your pikin, na you born am.

It's not your responsibility to make another woman feel better for not having kids or losing a kid, that's the job of a therapist or psychologist.

Don't let anyone here blackmail you into thinking you're an evil person.
If you were living inside your own compound, will someone come from outside to start telling you to give her your child to spend the night with? Lmao cheesy

This stupidity is world-class, I never hear this kind thing before.

People are calling you selfish and insentive on top your own pikin again.. Haaa, nothing I will not read on NL.

Who raised all these broken people like this? Kai

4 Likes

Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by crackkhaus: 9:13pm On Feb 09, 2020
Ayofaks:


Are you not a Naija man? tongue
I just want to be sure that's what you meant grin
Re: I Have A Problem With My Husband Brother Wife by crackkhaus: 9:20pm On Feb 09, 2020
Chiomamoses:
Thank you my dear I don’t mind them because I know that I’m not evil I’m just doing what any mother can do in my shoes


Mehn hold on to your child jor. As a mother, you get to decide who has access to your children or for how long they should. It's that simple.
If the woman needs to spend time, she should go to your apartment and do that, then go back to her house.

What kind of silly bonding requires her to spend extended hours or the night with a child that's not her own....to the extent she's now trying to be forceful about it.
That is just SICK.

2 Likes

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