she rarely comes in my house I just don’t know why ooo and me and my kids are the ones going to her house all the time and when my other kids are in school she want to stay alone with my baby inside her house which I just don’t understand and only God knows what she has been doing with my baby when they are left alone and thank God my eyes are now shine and I had to put a stop to it

crackkhaus:

Mehn hold on to your child jor.
If the woman needs to spend time, she should go to your apartment and do that, then go back to her house.

What kind of silly bonding requires her to spend extended hours or the night with a child that's not her own....to the extent she's now trying to be forceful about it.
That is just SICK.

crackkhaus:
@ chiomamoses, you did absolutely nothing wrong oo.. Na your pikin, na you born am.

It's not your responsibility to make another woman feel better for not having kids or losing a kid, that's the job of a therapist or psychologist.

Don't let anyone here blackmail you into thinking you're an evil person.
If you were living inside your own compound, will someone come from outside to start telling you to give her your child to spend the night with? Lmao

This stupidity is world-class, I never hear this kind thing before.

People are calling you selfish and insentive on top your own pikin again.. Haaa, nothing I will not read on NL.

Who raised all these broken people like this? Kai

As in eeeeehhhhnnn...

Chiomamoses:
she rarely comes in my house I just don’t know why ooo and me and my kids are the ones going to her house all the time and when my other kids are in school she want to stay alone with my baby inside her house which I just don’t understand and only God knows what she has been doing with my baby when they are left alone and thank God my eyes are now shine and I had to put a stop to it

I get it and it's really not your concern how the time she spends with your baby makes her feel better.. As long as you're not comfortable with it, then withdraw your child - you don't owe her or anyone explanations.

I edited my comment after you quoted, but like I added there - You are the mother and you get to decide who should have access to your child and for how long they can have that access.

There's nothing evil, selfish, or insensitive about this.

If she can't go to your place to be around the baby and then go back to her place after a while, then that's her problem. She can go to motherless babies home and adopt a baby to have with her at all times, they will even appreciate it.

She has a big psychological problem and she doesn't even know it yet.

Mariangeles:

As in eeeeehhhhnnn...

Can't believe what I had to read here.

SICK.

Sankabson:
If im to be that husband. I'll send you and your husband. You're a bad energy in that House.


If You dont like sharing things, You and your husband should find some else to stay. People like You deserve to be seriously dealt with.


You're wicked and selfish!!

You have just qualified a human being like yourself as a thing. A baby to be shared. Why do you guys find it so comfortable to dehumanize others, especially vulnerable ones?
That is what opens them up to be abused, when you don't see them as human like you, but rather as inanimate objects.

LadySarah:
My advice for you is to go for family planning.
The poor one has five kids. The rich none.

Nne borrow yourself sense and stop bearing children you can't fend for.

Thank you

Is that the problem she tabled? Did she say she has a problem fending for her kids?

funmisticqueen2:
And dumb enough to be bearing children for this half man you call your husband. You both deserve each other

It will really be interesting to see some of you in real life.

creolehunt:

It will really be interesting to see some of you in real life.

Don't bother. That particular one, she has had her picture up on her profile before...nothing fascinating about her, absolutely nothing.
She has talked about not having enough money to rent a place on the Island and she was trolled and mocked to oblivion on that thread.

Yet she goes around without shame talking about other people's finances and referring to men who are 50times better than she is, as half-men.

If it wasn't so funny, I would have just gone with the obvious conclusion that she's psychotic.

creolehunt:


It will really be interesting to see some of you in real life.

yea...girdle up for a visit to the zoo,that's is where you will find her.

funmisticqueen2:
Gbam. Preach the truth

what truth? Did the lady impregnant herself? Why do people blame birthing kids on the woman alone?

It's your baby and should be able to decide how long she spends with someone. And you are not supposed to feel bad about that because you are the mother and would feel the need to be around your baby.

Please ignore those saying you are proud, selfish or that you are giving birth when someone else is looking for a child. That's just funny. They need to direct all that to the One who gives children.

I don't like when people try to use culture, seniority, africanism, etc to cover up what should not be. She actually needs to get help to get over the loss. Using your child to do that might not be convenient or you.

Thank you my dear God bless you

ImaIma1:
It's your baby and should be able to decide how long she spends with someone. And you are not supposed to feel bad about that because you are the mother and would feel the need to be around your baby.

Please ignore those saying you are proud, selfish or that you are giving birth when someone else is looking for a child. That's just funny. They need to direct all that to the One who gives children.

I don't like when people try to use culture, seniority, africanism, etc to cover up what should not be. She actually needs to get help to get over the loss. Using your child to do that might not be convenient or you.

funmisticqueen2:
And dumb enough to be bearing children for this half man you call your husband. You both deserve each other

What you actually lack and need to try working on is EMPATHY.

Not everything has a quick and easy solution. It's annoying to see some things happen and some people accept them. But all we can do is advice, encourage and pray for a way for them.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation or dilemma, you will probably be more empathetic.

I don't understand this type of behavior when there are so many children out there who need to be adopted. If she can't have her own then suggest that she adopt.

EricSmallz:
You are selfish sha. 5 kids? If you were my wife, I would instruct you to gift that child to that poor woman. 4 kids are more than enough. Do you want to eat some? And from the look of things, your husband is even broke o. He can't even afford to rent a house, but you are just giving birth like bird. What if God gets angry and withdraw the kids?

You can't be serious with this comment. So because she has 5 kids, she should dash one out? Whatever the case, she's not responsible for the woman's loss or delay in birthing a child.

It's just like saying that because you have poor people around you, you shouldn't spend your money so that it won't offend them.

Ikjosh04:
Bleep it Nairaland. Always weird stories from new monikers. I really need to purge my mind from all the shit I've been reading on this forum lately. I dislike the anti-social media bill but each passing day I see the need to regulate the things we put on social media.
@op I think the best thing for your family is for you all to move out from that compound.


Nairaland needs cleansing

Same thing I noticed. Too many fake stories

let her adopt one of your 5 children, afterall you are one big family

sassysure:

That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?
Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.

WHATTTTTTTT

I take God beg you to stick to what you know and do not mislead people.
What sort of psychotherapy is that?? Agonising desensitisation? Geezzz

sassysure:

That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?
Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.

At the bolded, do they allow her take the newborn home or even carry out of the nursery?

Showing love doesn't mean releasing your baby to someone else for hours to help with the loss of her own child. Don't you think the mother of her child needs to be with her own child?

We are too sentimental in this country and sometimes we allow it override reason.

I was wondering too...five children in this economy! Anyway, op you guys should move out. Beginning of no peace.

sisisioge:
Whew! You are so insensitive!

Firstly, you and your husband decided to be breeding children like rats since the cost of rent has been taken off your expenses right under the roof of the ones that housed you. Poor woman would die inside each time you pop out another baby like a rabbit while she keeps waiting unto the Lord...how insensitive of you.

Now she has lost her baby and using yours to console herself but nah...mama fruitful couldn't bear to share...whew!

If na me be her o...I will kuku tell my husband say seeing all these kids in the house is breaking my heart...you guys should give us space for a while...won't you guys just wonder if I'm wrong .
Iranu!

[quote author=Chiomamoses post=86490083]Thank you I was worried about it incase I’m wrong now I am feeling better knowing that am not doing anything wrong. Amen

No sis,then since your INSTINCT picked on this case,dont joke with it,if she is not greeting you now,she will later.
Dont TOTALLY withdraw the baby,let the baby go there for an hour or so daily but SUPERVISED, use style to make sure someone else like your older kids is there,the last thing she and her husband wants to realize rightnow(especially pointed out by someone else) is that she needs URGENT counseling,she will heal with time,dont totally withdraw the baby but SET YOUR COMFORTABLE LIMITS!!

Imagine!!!!a 7months old baby is to be left with her brothers wife OVERNIGHT without feeling funny,I dont know how people think!!!!

yeyeosoronga:


You have just qualified a human being like yourself as a thing. A baby to be shared. Why do you guys find it so comfortable to dehumanize others, especially vulnerable ones?
That is what opens them up to be abused, when you don't see them as human like you, but rather as inanimate objects.

You dont have the right to call anyone's husband HALF MAN or say HE LACKS IT,its the height of DISRESPECT and gives off on how easy it is for you to be insulting!!!
Thats her husband!!!!
They have 5kids,they are not you,they dont live your life and havnt come beg you for food!
If Nigerians are hopeless then you are too abi are you a Ghanian?? ;Dquote author=funmisticqueen2 post=86499512] having 5 children when you are not dangote is not wisdom at all.

Working for his elder brother, living in his family house, what next? Sucking his elder brother's penis?Giving his newborn to his elder brother's wife? Everyone should have some autonomy. Her husband seriously lacks it.

He can't even defend his wife and child. That's why I call him a half man.


And she that is giving birth upandan. Is she educated? Can't she use wisdom?

I give up. Nigerians are hopeless.[/quote]

Its even more scary that she likes to take the baby when shes the only one at home,funny how its mostly women that are saying these things to the OP when I'm sure the hair on thier necks too will raise if its their child someone wants to take overnight!!!

crackkhaus:

I get it and it's really not your concern how the time she spends with your baby makes her feel better.. As long as you're not comfortable with it, then withdraw your child - you don't owe her or anyone explanations.

I edited my comment after you quoted, but like I added there - You are the mother and you get to decide who should have access to your child and for how long they can have that access.

There's nothing evil, selfish, or insensitive about this.

If she can't go to your place to be around the baby and then go back to her place after a while, then that's her problem. She can go to motherless babies home and adopt a baby to have with her at all times, they will even appreciate it.

She has a big psychological problem and she doesn't even know it yet.

Aunty! swerve with your poverty mentality and multiple children, or better still

Lumpyy:
You dont have the right to call anyone's husband HALF MAN or say HE LACKS IT,its the height of DISRESPECT and gives off on how easy it is for you to be insulting!!!
Thats her husband!!!!
They have 5kids,they are not you,they dont live your life and havnt come beg you for food!
If Nigerians are hopeless then you are too abi are you a Ghanian?? ;Dquote author=funmisticqueen2 post=86499512] having 5 children when you are not dangote is not wisdom at all.

Working for his elder brother, living in his family house, what next? Sucking his elder brother's penis?Giving his newborn to his elder brother's wife? Everyone should have some autonomy. Her husband seriously lacks it.

He can't even defend his wife and child. That's why I call him a half man.


And she that is giving birth upandan. Is she educated? Can't she use wisdom?

I give up. Nigerians are hopeless.

armyofone:
I was wondering too...five children in this economy! Anyway, op you guys should move out. Beginning of no peace.

Exactly!

Lumpyy:
Its even more scary that she likes to take the baby when shes the only one at home,funny how its mostly women that are saying these things to the OP when I'm sure the hair on thier necks too will raise if its their child someone wants to take overnight!!!

I don't even know what to make of the comments. It seemed like reptiles were doing the typing, not humans...honestly

Lumpyy:
Imagine!!!!a 7months old baby is to be left with her brothers wife OVERNIGHT without feeling funny,I dont know how people think!!!!

All the people commenting that she's selfish,proud or castigating her, all have entitlement mentality. They are not thinking objectively and removing sentiments.

The brother's wife feels entitled to the other woman's child because she lost hers. She wants another woman to submit her own child to her, using her grief and loss as blackmail.

The people talking nonsense won't release their children for someone else to assume the mother role while they are still alive. But they can come here and misyarn.

funmisticqueen2:
Aunty! swerve with your poverty mentality and multiple children, or better still

Go away with your rich self

sisisioge:


Another solution...nah, she declared that she's not sharing. While it is most understandable that OP's fertility or fertility struggle of her SIL isn't OP's fault, being a bit sensitive would have helped. Instead of outrightly banning her from picking her child, she could just have suggested this your advise up there. Anyways, I continue to find her action insensitive... My opinion remains the same.

By the way, I wasn't asking her to terminate her pregnancies or donate her baby to the SIL...I was just advocating sharing to ease this woman's pain now. Jeez...may God bless everyone looking to be fruitful with their own babies.

I wish the SIL good fortune with her next pregnancy and hope the OP will change her ways.

Do you have Children? You sound like you don't. She actually doesn't owe the other woman anything. What do you mean by sharing? Sharing her own Child? You'r highly deluded.

Sankabson:
If im to be that husband. I'll send you and your husband. You're a bad energy in that House.


If You dont like sharing things, You and your husband should find some else to stay. People like You deserve to be seriously dealt with.


You're wicked and selfish!!

You called a child a thing. Some of you are senseless. She should share her child like a toy abi.

sassysure:
@op, I will tell u the truth.
U didn't do well at all.
What u did is uncalled for honestly

U don't know the agony that lady is passing pass through.
U pretended u know and care but u don't.
Ur actions speaks for u.

What's wrong in her being with your child all day?
Common, that child is helping her to cope before she runs mad!
That your innocent child is helping her to heal!
Why can't you do that for her?

I will practically relocate to her place and give her time to heal if it will help. Show love! Be humane. We are very inhumane in this country.
U live in the same compound and are family!
Help this woman any way u can before she loses it!
Tomorrow u go to church to pray, what are u praying for?
Do u know the definition of love?
Do u know tomorrow?
U can't seem to part with your child but assuming u have a maid, won't u part with this child of yours to go to work?
Help your fellow woman heal. At night, that woman will be in so much agony.
She is lucky to have a means to help her heal but u are so selfish to see that. U are practically mocking her.
Nobody knows tomorrow.

Popular opinion here will tell u that u did the right thing but I'm quite sure u are troubled in your mind and feeling guilty that's why u asked for opinion.

Go to her and apologise and ask for way to make her feel better though she has already formed her opinion about you and u just destroyed a very good relationship by being insensitive.

And point of correction, your children are never your life.
Mistakes mothers make always. Go and get a life.
Your children are part of your life, the way your husband, marriage or work are.
Tomorrow if those children don't live up to your expectation, u will crucify them.
Children are never the life of any parent.

Thanks a billion @ especially parents thinking their kids are their lives and would now crucify them when they do not live up to expectations. The kids that God instructed them to care for so that when they are grown their parents would be relieved.