I've been full time single dad to my 11yo girl since she was 2. I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and my girlfriend doesn't have kids, has never been married. We are def very serious and she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She really wants to bond but my daughter, being 11 and only child, is very "annoyed" by her and is refusing to socialize with her. My girlfriend is Very sweet to her and never mean. I can assure you that. Within the past couple months my girlfriend has brought to my attention that she does not like my daughter, mostly because of how my daughter treats her. I was not aware that my daughter was disrespecting my girlfriend. Apparently my daughter says things to her like “you don’t belong here, you can never be my mom, what are you doing here?” “you shouldn’t be here” or “I live here you don’t” etc. My daughter has never badmouthed my girlfriend to me so I don’t know where this is coming from. I asked my daughter if my gf has ever been mean or rude to her when I’m not present and she said no. My girlfriend says it has gotten to the point where she does not even want to come over and spend times with me as my daughter will be there and she (gf) does not want to tolerate that behavior. I try to tell her that its teenage attitude and she will outgrow it, but my girlfriend insists it indicates more bad manners. I’m not sure what to do. I love my girlfriend and my daughter, and I don’t want to have to choose between them. Can you please give me any advice?

Hmmm I have to ask, is your daughter's mum alive? She doesn't want her mum's place to be taken by another woman, or she doesn't want your attention, care and love for her to be shared or divided when you marry your gf, but since there is a back and forth and you don't know who is really saying the truth, sit both of them down one day in front of you, let them air their grievances and issues, then settle whatever it is as you see fit,

As for your gf, I wish she can see this, she will continue to try to win the girl over for the rest of her life cos she will never be regarded as her real mother, that is the hard truth.

Come up with a more believable story dude.

Jsk132:
I've been full time single dad to my 11yo girl since she was 2. I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and my girlfriend doesn't have kids, has never been married. We are def very serious and she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She really wants to bond but my daughter, being 11 and only child, is very "annoyed" by her and is refusing to socialize with her. My girlfriend is Very sweet to her and never mean. I can assure you that. Within the past couple months my girlfriend has brought to my attention that she does not like my daughter, mostly because of how my daughter treats her. I was not aware that my daughter was disrespecting my girlfriend. Apparently my daughter says things to her like “you don’t belong here, you can never be my mom, what are you doing here?” “you shouldn’t be here” or “I live here you don’t” etc. My daughter has never badmouthed my girlfriend to me so I don’t know where this is coming from. I asked my daughter if my gf has ever been mean or rude to her when I’m not present and she said no. My girlfriend says it has gotten to the point where she does not even want to come over and spend times with me as my daughter will be there and she (gf) does not want to tolerate that behavior. I try to tell her that its teenage attitude and she will outgrow it, but my girlfriend insists it indicates more bad manners. I’m not sure what to do. I love my girlfriend and my daughter, and I don’t want to have to choose between them. Can you please give me any advice?

Lock both of them inside for two or three days I'm very sure something good will come out of it

Are people now formulating stories on NL or what?

crackkhaus:
Come up with a more believable story dude.

I like the story actually, and it happens for real.

Well, you're not supposed to choose btwn your 11-yr old daughter and your girlfriend. Your 11-yr daughter stays, that one is no question!

Remember she's an only child and her mother's not in the picture if you're raising her from the age of 2 so she's only known you and in her mind this girlfriend is now taking you away from her. Look into your behavior. You could be spending more time with your girlfriend more than your daughter, doing things to make your daughter feel her relationship with her daddy is being threatened by this woman, treating her differently when the gf is around, etc.

11 year old pikin is misbehaving and you are creating thread on nairaland.

Female rivalry. Your daughter is at the age when she considers you her unsubstantive husband; especially in the absence of a mother. Now one yeye husbandsnatching stranger wants to cone and take her place in your heart. Who go gree dat kin ting na.

Either you wait until your daughter gets a boyfriend and technically dumps you, or you force the matter through and get your gf to be patient in the face of escalating hatred and bad manners.

By the way, don't ever try to caution your daughter's bad manners because of your gf o. You will make matters much much worse. She will immediately conclude that you prefer your gf to her and a woman scorned is a terrible thing; even an 11 year old woman.

Also by the way, this your gf no mature at all.

crackkhaus:
Come up with a more believable story dude.

Thank you I know it can't happen that I'm the only one who thought they were reading a Nollywood script.

Fountainofyouth:



I like the story actually, and it happens for real.

It definitely is someone's story, but the way Op painted the daughter character and choice of word? How he projected his reaction to his girlfriend saying he doesn't like his daughter? Come on.

My mother knows better by not marrying or dating any man since over two decades now; because if she did I don't know how I would have been able to stand the sight of that man...


Of course I'm grown up now and I wouldn't mind her dating or remarrying.. But the man must be way older the her..

My advice is let your daughter reach 18, then she might understand..

Fountainofyouth:

I like the story actually, and it happens for real.

The way this one is scripted is not believable.

Dating the chic for two years beginning when the daughter was 9yrs old, a daughter who supposedly has been under his care full-time since she was 2yrs old, meaning she won't even remember her own mother...

Yet for some reason, he's just finding out after two years that the daughter has never liked the girl while giving the impression that this is because she doesn't want anyone to replace her mother (who she should not remember if she really left/died when she was 2yrs old).

It's mumbled up horsecrap, is what it is.

I've dealt with and have single parents as friends. This is not the way it usually plays out unless you're watching it in a movie for thrills.

Ytea:
It definitely is someone's story, but the way Op painted the daughter character and choice of word? How he projected his reaction to his girlfriend saying he doesn't like his daughter? Come on.

Choice of words, especially...

Sounds like ficition.

Nevertheless, jsk132 your daughter is not ready to share you with any woman. It's just girl jealousy.

Pls teach your daughter some manners...hian!

I was awarded full legal custody of my daughter for the past 9 Years because my ex has some heavy drinking and drug issues.
the order has the schedule as:
Bio mom gets visitation every other weekend and now after the final phase of the courts step up plan for her she has every other Wednesday (the Wednesday that immediately follows her weekend) for 4 hours.She gets 5 hours on Christmas Day and Easter.The schedule in order was actually set by the evaluators and the judge agreed on it.

Am I the only one who thinks that this write-up is from a nollywood movie....



Y'all should go and watch I AM KADI,na o.p source be that

O.p con twist am for us�

[quote author=Aidejay post=86647795]11 year old pikin is misbehaving and you are creating thread on nairaland.
Ah....if na my popsi you perform this kind drama for
Oooh! My! Gosh![/quo

Next time,read the story well,digest and think about something reasonable before u start typing trash!!!


If u don't have something sensible to contribute simply KEEP QUIET!!!

Uhm..excuse me?

What does your girlfriend want you to do about that?

Is she expecting you to go drop your daughter off at an orphanage or something?

This is ridiculous.

If she can't manage a girl who isn't even a teen-ager yet and whose only fear is that another woman is coming to replace her mom, then I don't think that lady should marry a baby daddy.

On the other hand, talk to your daughter and tell her even though you love this girlfriend, she will never replace her mom in your heart.

Ask her if she wants you to be happy.

Let her know that when she grows up and goes to her own husband's house, you will all alone and lonely and miserable, and is that what she wants?

Tell her it would make you happy if she tries to be nice to the lady.

It will now be the lady's turn to go all out to win the little girl's heart.

She should be creative.

Drama kangs

Would you just dismiss this behavior as teenage attitude if she was talking to her mother this way? Or, say this woman was your wife- would you allow your daughter to talk this way to her? I think not. So, why do you just brush it off because she's merely a girlfriend? It's time to talk to your daughter and tell her that this is NOT acceptable behavior.

Marry your girlfriend then ur daughter will stop seeing her as someone that is after her dad's money.

Or maybe she has someone in mind for you to marry, maybe her class teacher, or a friend's divorced or widowed mother.( Things we see in movies).

internationalman:
My mother knows better by not marrying or dating any man since over two decades now; because if she did I don't know how I would have been able to stand the sight of that man...


Of course I'm grown up now and I wouldn't mind her dating or remarrying.. But the man must be way older the her..

My advice is let your daughter reach 18, then she might understand..

Please! The man has feelings and has the right to live.
One's life should not be put on hold at the expense of their happiness.

Fajemz001:

I hope you aren't suffering from
Something. If you put all this effort into your JAMB only God knows where you'd be by now but no, you are busy mentioning people all over nairaland bro please redirect your frustrations somewhere else.

Jsk132:
I've been full time single dad to my 11yo girl since she was 2. I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and my girlfriend doesn't have kids, has never been married. We are def very serious and she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She really wants to bond but my daughter, being 11 and only child, is very "annoyed" by her and is refusing to socialize with her. My girlfriend is Very sweet to her and never mean. I can assure you that. Within the past couple months my girlfriend has brought to my attention that she does not like my daughter, mostly because of how my daughter treats her. I was not aware that my daughter was disrespecting my girlfriend. Apparently my daughter says things to her like “you don’t belong here, you can never be my mom, what are you doing here?” “you shouldn’t be here” or “I live here you don’t” etc. My daughter has never badmouthed my girlfriend to me so I don’t know where this is coming from. I asked my daughter if my gf has ever been mean or rude to her when I’m not present and she said no. My girlfriend says it has gotten to the point where she does not even want to come over and spend times with me as my daughter will be there and she (gf) does not want to tolerate that behavior. I try to tell her that its teenage attitude and she will outgrow it, but my girlfriend insists it indicates more bad manners. I’m not sure what to do. I love my girlfriend and my daughter, and I don’t want to have to choose between them. Can you please give me any advice?

if I were you, I would go for a single mom

Mariangeles:


Please! The man has feelings and has the right to live.
One's life should not be put on hold at the expense of their happiness.

His child comes first. That's the point of being a single father. It's better married someone his daughter likes. For all we know the girlfriend may be lying.

Op has to put his daughter first. That's why it is Parenthood. Or wait till she is 18.

Hmmm.... why is it we always believe we have to add extra to make a story believable? A 2 year old would not know or miss her mother 9 years later. And how will you be explaining to your gf that that's the way teenagers behave?...is an 11 year old considered a teenager in your community?

Aidejay:
I hope you aren't suffering from
Something. If you put all this effort into your JAMB only God knows where you'd be by now but no, you are busy mentioning people all over nairaland bro please redirect your frustrations somewhere else.

I still have to fall back to my previous comment...


Think before u comment!!

Fajemz001:

I still have to fall back to my previous comment..Think before u comment!!

take your own advice.
Next time,read the story well,digest and think about something reasonable before u start typing trash!!!
If u don't have something sensible to contribute simply KEEP QUIET!!!

Too many kids on this section.
WTF?
If you think it's fiction, then get the fxxx outta here to your romance section.what the fxxxxxing fxxxk are you miserable myopic lots doing here?