It's easier to condemn what one doesn't know than for him/her to take time and effort to understand it.
A single mother, a woman who brings up her children without the support of a male partner or husband, is more than often stigmatized by the society. By individuals who ought to understand the struggle she faces and the helplessness of her situation. Afterall, being the provider is no easy feat.
Any married man can testify.
There are several reasons why certain women end up as single mothers.
Rape
This isn't something that is new to any of us. Most women have been sexually abused by men. And coupled with the traumatic experience, they got pregnant.
Love
A decent lady is swept of her feet by a sugar coated tongue. She has sex with her deceptive lover who absconds the moment he finds that she's pregnant.
Violence
A woman who is married to an abusive partner might wisely decide to leave him for both her safety and that of the kids.
Deadbeat fathers, etc
The honest truth is that these women chose, against all odds to raise their children. Is that the sin we so ignorantly judge? A woman's love and dedication for her children. A woman who sacrifices everything especially her youth and takes up the responsibilities of a man. A woman who refused to either have an abortion or abandon her kids.
Derogatory words are used to refer to these women. While single fathers are sympathised with. Same as widows who had no control, single mothers are women who didn't plan their fate.
To most, a woman raising her kids alone is simply the repercussion of her mistakes and not the effect of a man who couldn't handle the heat of having responsibilities.
Most men beat their chest and when asked what they have to offer, proudly state that as a male, he is the foundation on which a proper home is built. As the head, his utmost duty is to protect and provide for his family. Do these men not the error of the ways of their mates? Or the woman must take the fall, even for the sins of a man.
It leads me to ask the question. Is the problem loving a man? or the refusal to have an abortion? or to run away leaving behind helpless children with no parents?

All are quite easy to do. A mother's conscience and love prevents her...

Mind you, women who abandon her children are not fit to referred to as humans.

typing....




















Deleted












Modified
Stopped typing

Cc: Offpoint
seriously?

No one is stigmatizing anybody. People should learn to be their single mother in peace and harmony.
Besides, there’s no big difference between single mothers and baby mamas.

Blu03:
Cc: Offpoint
seriously?

lol, My views are becoming too evil for nairalanders consumption these days so I just keep 'em inside of me.

There are red flags when choosing a partner, and in the history of red flags, I think being a single mom is the redest.

Forget about alpha male and feminism and the rest of it OP. I want you to reason things practically.

- What do simple moms offer really? I mean, in the real sense, what? As it is already, most women are liabilities, now you add children. No man should walk into that huge responsibility, unless atleast the woman can foot half of the bills at least.

- OK, let's say you ignore the status quo, you marry a single mom, you learn to love the children like your own. There is always a HIGH probability that the children would want to be with their biological father one. Even if say na me, no matter how u love me, once I grow up, I go like meet my real papa.
Worst case they leave you, best case, they share their paternal love with you.

- Then, let's talk about the woman, why did the last person leave her? Abi na only you like left overs.
Or, why did she divorce (if married) she fit do the same to you.
She might still have a soft side for the dude, afterall he is the father of her kids.
She might be a LovePeddler (highly probable).


Most single moms are not worth it, unless a widow. There are exceptions though, but they are VERY FEW. I can't build by life on such a low probability.

Peace!

There is no stigma anywhere or whatsoever

Davash222:
No one is stigmatizing anybody. People should learn to be their single mother in peace and harmony.
Besides, there’s no big difference between single mothers and baby mamas.

baby Mama's are single moms. But the word is now used to refer derogatorily to a woman who has a kid for a wealthy man for financial gain. We rarely call a woman who was raped and kept the child a baby mama.

Don't deny the single mom's are stigmatized and blamed for their situation.

cRobo:
There is no stigma anywhere or whatsoever

the red pill thread. I have no problem with mgtow. But you honestly don't believe that single mom's are stigmatized?

Offpoint:

lol, My views are becoming too evil for nairalanders consumption these days so I just keep 'em inside of me.

okay...

Blu03:
the red pill thread. I have no problem with mgtow. But you honestly don't believe that single mom's are stigmatized?

They are just like every other lady but with more responsibility and diverted attention

cRobo:



They are just like every other lady but with more responsibility and diverted attention

responsibilities left by MEN. And upon that, stigmatized by MEN
I doesn't seem weird to you? Single father's however are portrayed as saints who were nothing but victims of WOMEN

Blu03:
responsibilities left by MEN. And upon that, stigmatized by MEN
I doesn't seem weird to you? Single father's however are portrayed as saints who were nothing but victims of WOMEN

Abegi.. I repeat the only single mother I can marry.. Na one child she get, her husband Don die.. She must be of good behavior.. If not, na to chop am leave am for the next person



Most single mothers are very selfish

@op, stigmatization if at all necessary should depend on the circumstances that leads to one becoming a single parent.

For young widows/wodowers and cases of rape, it's understood. Any other reason(s) to the best of my knowledge can't suffice.

Cause most successful ladies these would not fancy being under any man's roof and thereby prefer having babies outside wedlock since there feel capable of shouldering the responsibility to any level.
Some others who became successful after marriage see no need "being under a man".

Blu03:
responsibilities left by MEN. And upon that, stigmatized by MEN
I doesn't seem weird to you? Single father's however are portrayed as saints who were nothing but victims of WOMEN

I'll say this

I once talked to a single mother and she told me that her child come first above every other thing that she doesn't care about men

Now do you think a man should make such woman her outmost priority

For me, the only single mother most like considered for marriage are widowers and cases of rape.
For others, pls use 3D cus Habit is easy to form but hard to leave.

In this society... yes... single mothers are stigmatized regardless of the circumstances that put them in that situation. If a family is attacked by BH and only the mother and daughter survive.... the mother is stigmatized.... self righteous us..... not knowing or caring to know the cause...judge her as loose... olosho... baby mama and her bastard son ... and if given the opportunity... spit on her. We just need to stop painting with a wide brush.

cRobo:


I'll say this

I once talked to a single mother and she told me that her child come first above every other thing that she doesn't care about men

Now do you think a man should make such woman her outmost priority

Nearly every woman out there loves her child and puts him/her first, above any other thing. Even her husband
That's our nature. A lioness would attack a male twice her size for her cub.
Don't make it a 'single mother' thing.

Blu03:
Nearly every woman out there loves her child and puts him/her first, above any other thing. Even her husband
That's our nature. A lioness would attack a male twice her size for her cub.
Don't make it a 'single mother' thing.

I can't fault your philosophy

My love for my wife certainly will surpass my love for my children because when all my friends, children and family certainly will go their way, my wife will be there for me(that is if you found your true love)


I can't

Nairaland feminists are having a field day already here. You can see them in full regalia displaying what they’re known for.
Fountainofyouth, your attention is needed here. Please endeavor to come with your senses.

Cc: 4cks
Well, i get the '...wanting to meet their biological father...' point.
But not every adopted child would do that. If the kid is loyal, he/she would realise that family isn't all about blood but the person(s) who has/have stood by him or her.
Again, before marrying any woman, single mom or not, one has to first study her character...
But the message i'm trying to pass isn't "Guys marry a single mom" but "Guys stop hating on someone who's already going through alot"

Blu03:
Nearly every woman out there loves her child and puts him/her first, above any other thing. Even her husband
That's our nature. A lioness would attack a male twice her size for her cub.
Don't make it a 'single mother' thing.

Are you a single Mom?

Sunnymatey:
@op, stigmatization if at all necessary should depend on the circumstances that leads to one becoming a single parent.

For young widows/wodowers and cases of rape, it's understood. Any other reason(s) to the best of my knowledge can't suffice.

Cause most successful ladies these would not fancy being under any man's roof and thereby prefer having babies outside wedlock since there feel capable of shouldering the responsibility to any level.
Some others who became successful after marriage see no need "being under a man".

how many circumstances are there?
A woman is a single mom because,
She was raped
She became a widow after the death of her husband
She left an abusive partner who was violent or a bad influence. Perhaps a drunk, or a pervert who could have raped her daughters and such.
Or
She was betrayed by a deceptive partner who left her, pregnant and alone.

Mind you, women who abandon her children are not fit to referred to as humans.

cRobo:



I can't fault your philosophy

My love for my wife certainly will surpass my love for my children because when all my friends, children and family certainly will go their way, my wife will be there for me(that is if you found your true love)


I can't

cause you're a man. Your future wife would, i'm 99.9% certain, not hesitate to sacrifice you or herself for your child(ren) if she has to.
Every woman wants a man who would love her kids more than he would love her.
Want to impress a lady, be nice to he niece or nephews.
Her womb would be jumping for joy.

cRobo:


Are you a single Mom?

no

Blu03:
Cc: 4cks
Well, i get the '...wanting to meet their biological father...' point.
But not every adopted child would do that. If the kid is loyal, he/she would realise that family isn't all about blood but the person(s) who has/have stood by him or her.
Again, before marrying any woman, single mom or not, one has to first study her character...
But the message i'm trying to pass isn't "Guys marry a single mom" but "Guys stop hating on someone who's already going through alot"

There is nothing to understand about that reason. It is definitely coming from a place of bruised ego. If I marry a single dad,I will try to mediate peace between the kid and his /her estranged mom . I will not feel envious if he/she reunites with his/her biological mum.


Don't expect to get a tangible reason from male naira landers for their stigma against single moms. Sadly the bigots find nothing wrong with single dads.
Surprising how people make themselves adjudicators over others. Call them unfit to be alpha males and they cry foul.

Its their choice to marry who they wish,but adjudging SM and calling them derogatory names is wrong

Michellekabod2:

There is nothing to understand about that reason. It is definitely coming from a place of bruised ego. If I marry a single dad,I will try to mediate peace between the kid and his /her estranged mom . I will not feel envious if he/she reunites with his/her biological mum.


Don't expect to get a tangible reason from male naira landers for their stigma against single moms. Sadly the bigots find nothing wrong with single dads.
Surprising how people make themselves adjudicators over others. Call them unfit to be alpha males and they cry foul.

Its their choice to marry who they wish,but adjudging SM and calling them derogatory names is wrong

exactly. Hardcore hypocrites.

4ckz:
There are red flags when choosing a partner, and in the history of red flags, I think being a single mom is the redest.

Forget about alpha male and feminism and the rest of it OP. I want you to reason things practically.

- What do simple moms offer really? I mean, in the real sense, what? As it is already, most women are liabilities, now you add children. No man should walk into that huge responsibility, unless atleast the woman can foot half of the bills at least.

- OK, let's say you ignore the status quo, you marry a single mom, you learn to love the children like your own. There is always a HIGH probability that the children would want to be with their biological father one. Even if say na me, no matter how u love me, once I grow up, I go like meet my real papa.
Worst case they leave you, best case, they share their paternal love with you.

- Then, let's talk about the woman, why did the last person leave her? Abi na only you like left overs.
Or, why did she divorce (if married) she fit do the same to you.
She might still have a soft side for the dude, afterall he is the father of her kids.
She might be a LovePeddler (highly probable).


Most single moms are not worth it, unless a widow. There are exceptions though, but they are VERY FEW. I can't build by life on such a low probability.

Peace!

All your words where you used "she, mother", change it to "he, father", and advice based on that, without removing or adding anything, I await your response, thank you.

Blu03:
cause you're a man. Your future wife would, i'm 99.9% certain, not hesitate to sacrifice you or herself for your child(ren) if she has to.
Every woman wants a man who would love her kids more than he would love her.
Want to impress a lady, be nice to he niece or nephews.
Her womb would be jumping for joy.

This comment should be the joke of the century, he gave you a valid point and this is all you could come up with, lol.

The most despicable thing to happen to someone is to think you have escaped from one form of mental slavery and yet you fall into another one hook,line and sinker.

Those who claim to be woke from female manipulations are now in the net of their delusions.
We all should be liberated into freedom and not into slavery again.


if you know you know