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I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by RedBororo(m): 10:58pm On Feb 21, 2020
Now you have been told, you better leave than live a life of abomination, but am supprise you guys dated for 4 years and the girl parents allow, u guys are already having sex, my brother better hustle and think well, before go say witch they find you
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by SpartanKing: 10:59pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...
It's only a stubborn fly that follows a corpse into the grave! He who has ears, let him hear!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by SweetCunt97(f): 10:59pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
Surname differs but the surname has a single sentence holding the name. For eg chukwunonso, chukwuebuka
Anyways if ur people feels strongly about it, best to drop the whole thing. Cos if u marry her and shit hit d fan, that love will definitely clear. Best to go cold turkey on her clingy ass abi she doesn't get d implications of you guys actions?
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 11:00pm On Feb 21, 2020
Neroiam:


Incest kwa.. You don't know Cain married his sister abi? ..okay o ..that means you're a product of incest ..and Cain village people no make am mad??

So we should shag 7th generation cousins ní?
Who's this Methuselah tracing lineages?
Let him keep tracing until he traces all lineages to Adam and Eve and eventually finds out everyone is involved in this taboo
Leave am bros na all these village people wey dem dash sim card.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by madridsta007(m): 11:02pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

Sounds like wilful incest if you go along.
If she’s from the same village then you have the same bloodline.

Sin against man and God. The world is already complicated as it is. Don’t let so-called love make you to use your hands to complicate your life further. “Love” should be the last thing to consider in marriage, in my opinion.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by executive12: 11:03pm On Feb 21, 2020
sloo1:
That is incestuous marriage. It is abomination in most cultures both within and outside Nigeria. Do not yield to that and cease having sexual relationship with your sister.

She is not his sister.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Airtimex(m): 11:03pm On Feb 21, 2020
72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.


My bro. You spoke well but there are few corrections...

If the tradition is bad, be a man and damn the consequences. What if the girl is Already pregnant?

Another thing is making love look ordinary in marriage. Can you define marriage without love? This is why the whites are always better than Africans. They understand the word love more than us and can always go extra mile to achieve that happiness that comes with love.

Whether you believe in love or not, you must show your wife and kids love everyday...the consequences might be severe if you ignore that for a day. Love is marriage and marriage is love...
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Ajibade123(m): 11:03pm On Feb 21, 2020
in this century one stupid tradition is still dictating who you are to marry iranu

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Aidejay(m): 11:04pm On Feb 21, 2020
I don't like threads such as these.
OP I don't know what you are going through as I haven't passed through such or know of someone who has that's why I won't advice you like I know half of anything. But from the bottom of my heart I beg you don't abandon that woman. I am an advocate for Africanism and African tradition but some traditions have been done away with and more are being abandoned cause they are illogical and unreasonable. It's unfortunate that some of the good ones are being washed away in the evolution of culture however this doesn't relegate the fact that some cultural practices are unnecessary and unreliable if we loose guts to challenge them then we pass down our cowardice to our children. Culture has changed and continues to change it's time for this one to change. @madem12

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by SpartanKing: 11:05pm On Feb 21, 2020
adioolayi:
Go ahead and marry her....Just read the beautiful story of Samson and Delilah....Go ahead and marry against your parents wish...I am not saying you are not matured enough to make decisions, after all it's your home, your life.... but then what the elders see while sitting, children don't see even while on tree top.
What happened to Samson in the end?
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by lastburn(m): 11:05pm On Feb 21, 2020
Something similar happened to me. Bro you will find love else where no kill ur self. If she's as beautiful and humble as you say she is thn she too will find love and move on... let her go! It's not easy, I know cos I have been there

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Neroiam(m): 11:07pm On Feb 21, 2020
Bekool:


At 25yrs is marriage supposed to be ur ultimate ambition in life have u finished ur education or are u successfull in ur business to take good care of ur own family? All these are supposed to be ur major worries besides I will advise you to listen to ur parents am also an Igbo man i come from a village with similar culture it's highly forbiden for us to marry ourselves. A couple based in the US who are both from our village once disobeyed this age long tradition despite all the warnings from his immediate family and elders from our village went on to conduct a church wedding in the US thinking that nothing will happen to them because they are living outside the country but at the end of the day the lady ended up giving birth to a cripple. Don't joke with some African cultures if u are not spiritually strong enough to withstand the backlash they can be very powerful.

This is to say the forefathers swore oaths backing the tradition. I'll be very happy to be an indigene of your village and find a damsel who i love and she meets every criteria of me choosing a wife. I go happily marry her to set an example for the youths yet unmarried.

It pains me so much that some so-called Christians confirm to things of this world.
Like you said, one needs to be Spiritually fortified and woe to all the stupid traditions.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by michlins(m): 11:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
Ikjosh04:



Lol, do you expect a old woman to quote yrs for me. I just used that figure to emphasize on my point that blood ish happened a very very long time ago.
that being said, everyone in your village is at most five generations related which isn't such a big difference. In a population of 7bn people, I want to believe that the OP can find a wife in another woman
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Arabiandude: 11:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
Neroiam:


Laye.. The age of Methuselah is nothing compared to the wisdom of Solomon.. I no need climb stool seff, i go see pass that elder wey sitdon for ground... Mtcheew nonsense tradition
I can bet up to my last penny that you are not more than 22 years.
See let me tell you a short story,... When I was at a certain youthful age the only thing that mattered to me was spoil, scatter, destroy and so on and just like you I would always tell the elders then that I know and see more than them even if they are the one who would have to climb a tree. But now you know what, I look back, SMH and laugh and my stupidity then because now maturity has set in and my present age has made me realize that what truly an elder sees sitting down, a child can't see it even when on top of a tree

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by ozueozue(m): 11:09pm On Feb 21, 2020
Which abomination, u wan tell us say u never nack dis ur sister sorry this ur wife to be? U don commit na.

But bro no ever go against tradition oh old school de rugged oh
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Morohunmubo(m): 11:10pm On Feb 21, 2020
My brother and sister, sit down and think about it very well. No matter how stubborn both of you. Your family are number one priority in marriage, especially your parents. If they said no, my brother it is NO.
Know this, if you die, your wife can not bury you alone and Vis visa. It may sound tough, but the issue is a serious one too. BELIEVE TO BE RELIEVED.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by YorubaLord: 11:11pm On Feb 21, 2020
Akamudawa:
[s][/s]

NgadaAwo, Livebyday.. how far na? grin
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Makavelli25: 11:11pm On Feb 21, 2020
Same shit happening to me. Am in love with my stepsis We are planning to run away
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Arabiandude: 11:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...
Oga do you know what foundational curse is? If you go ahead with the said marriage or whatsoever, the curse might not come during your time but the time of your great grand children yet unborn and those ones that knows nothing about your today's deed would be the ones to bear the consequences and when that happens even in your grave you won't have peace because those children yet unborn wont cease to always curse you for been the source of their predicaments. Or you think your father hates you and that's why he has asked you not to marry her? No he doesn't, he is just having pity for your generation yet unborn. And you are lucky that you are not Esan, by now you for don even kill goat for going against your father when he summons you to the village
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by executive12: 11:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
SoNature:


The emboldened is false

Love is the foundation of marriage

Perhaps you have never experienced it before

Although many factors matter in marriage, love is the fulcrum

OP, don't marry her. You guys should see less of each other until you finally move on.

Don't get the poor girl into trouble in the name of love.

Love is the foundation of marriage?? Definitely not in Nigeria.
For the Nigerian woman, the number one priority is economic survival/financial stability.
For the Nigerian man, the number one priority is physical appearance and character. Love is further down the list and most of the time, does not exist (for Nigerians).
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Lastmankc(m): 11:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Village people at work
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by jman77(m): 11:13pm On Feb 21, 2020
IBUSA... I Thought this s#&t been revoked.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Ikjosh04: 11:14pm On Feb 21, 2020
michlins:
that being said, everyone in your village is at most five generations related which isn't such a big difference. In a population of 7bn people, I want to believe that the OP can find a wife in another woman


OK, if you feel so.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Mandem12: 11:14pm On Feb 21, 2020
Makavelli25:
Same shit happening to me. Am in love with my stepsis
We are planning to run away
Seriously? Do your parents know about it? What did they say
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 11:15pm On Feb 21, 2020
You're not related in any way and you love each other. Go ahead and be happy.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Banky16(m): 11:26pm On Feb 21, 2020
Marry make we rest

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by IDERAWOLE(m): 11:27pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...
]

Check out the likes in the comments and follow the trend. I wanted to add my voice to the encouragement but on 2nd thought, I felt that I should leave you alone.

You can damn the funny tradition, but do you have the spiritual power to do so? Are you born again and solid in your understanding of who you are even if you're born again?

Even after you've investigated from your village if you're related or not, except you're from a village of 200 people and you're not related, you can only ignore the tradition If you have the spiritual power to do so.

If you don't have the power, just abandon your village after cutting off with that girl, and start your life afresh.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Makavelli25: 11:27pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
Seriously? Do your parents know about it? What did they say
No they dont,but her mum is suspecting we are dating
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by JOHNSONSOLAFUNMI(m): 11:28pm On Feb 21, 2020
Justdogood:
This is incest.

Are you guys mad ni?
What do you call love?

At your age you dont know you shouldn't shag your cousins even to the 6th generation cousins.
Not to talk of marrying one.
What is wrong with this generation?
Go to your holy books, which ever one you believe in Bible ooooo, koran ooooo, you will see it there.

See your mouth like I will damn the consequences.
Its not just consequences, its a curse. An abomination. A taboooo.
Imgine tell us you do all a man does for a woman for her.
Go for prayers as you have been sleeping with you distant cousin. Maybe 4th or 5th generation cousin.


Tuweeee.
Spits on kids of nowadays.

So who did Cane shag paito wa?
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by africanusvu(m): 11:29pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...
.So.how this one take concern us.we Dee talk insecurity in a failed nation u come Larry marriage materials come.thank Ur gods say u even see money take marry when others no even see place sleep this nite
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Makavelli25: 11:29pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
Seriously? Do your parents know about it? What did they say
They aint aware,but her mum suspecting

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