Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,913 members, 7,980,248 topics. Date: Sunday, 20 October 2024 at 09:46 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (84484 Views)
Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But Feels Single. (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (21) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by generationz(f): 2:22pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
daddytime: Lol, dear joro my boyfriend say I should pass street A while coming but I like street B. What should I do? Dear Joro, my wife said she prefers cooking beans to stew. What should I do? I wonder how people solved their relationship issues before social media. Your last paragraph is why I've decided I'll reduce the advice I give people on social media except it has to do with domestic violence. A relationship has so many facets to it that a single story cant vampire what a person is going through. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by generationz(f): 2:27pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve: What happened to choosing people who want you? The guy messed up going through her family and not wooing her first. Never use external forces to try and convince someone to love you. It backfires. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by generationz(f): 2:30pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: Your heart is longing for it's idealized version of what love it. 3 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by generationz(f): 2:40pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: You said you have visited two counselors and have tried for four years to make your relationship work right? Well, let me tell you, you are making the same mistake you made from day one by bringing your issue here for us to decide for you. If you had not let your family decide for you or advise you to marry him, both of you won't be miserable by now. Your mind is still fixated on the "what if" "What if I had remained with my boyfriend" "What if my boyfriend had not offended my dad" and so on. As long as your mind is fixated on the "what if" you would only paint an idealized happy picture of what your relationship would have been like if you remained with your boyfriend. As long as your mind is fixated on the "what if" you will never have a complete grasp on the reality staring in front of you. I'm sure your ex is still single or both of you are still communicating and he has promised to break up with his woman for you. This open invitation can fan the embers of your desire. I don't like seeing people who are miserable in their marriages. Marriage is not a cage. In your heart, you know you've tried your best to make things work and love him. 5 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 2:41pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Why did you marry him? How long did you date for? |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 2:45pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
generationz: This one is a foolish woman my dear sister. Adultery is in her heart and would not let her cede to rational thinkin. Na her towtow create this thread becos e dey itch for wetin e dey itch for Weij dey her mind na him dey her mind. The mental imagery in the heart is fixed. The head and mind is sick. This one think sya she be lan to do tge choosing and is still psychologically sick from a process that ends years ago. Her brain is stolen and i won't mince hard wordw on her. How can an adult be this silly, evil and narcissistic Where are my sisters Frozen70 Ujujoan2 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Microwhy: 3:18pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Love is built gradually.. Nothing like Love or No love in marriage. Marriage is for two mature people that come to have offsprings. Don't be deceive about Cinderella love or audio love. Open your heart and find a place in your heart to start appreciating your husband. Without no doubt, you'll want to comeback if you leave him. I just pray by then, he finds who will truly love him. Everybody gets tired of each other at some point in every marriage but maturity and commitment keep it moving. Stop comparing yourself with anybody, every marriage have its own issue. No perfect couple.. Stop complaining and leave if you're tired. This life is just for once and forever might be too long for you to leave in pains. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Graxie(f): 5:02pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Imagine if it were to be the other way round, most people calling her names will turn to preachers. Madam poster, I am going to tell you the truth, you are a very horrible woman. You care so much about the society at the detriment of your home. You will rather please friends and family while you are busy dealing with an innocent man. Where is your conscience? Why do you want to eat your cake and have it? You should be very careful of the consequences for your actions, whatever a man sows, that he will reap. Women like you make other women suffering in marriage not to have voice. How are you doing it? Looking at him suffering and covering it up with you find it hard communicating. Why not free this guy, why? Imagine the wickedness, are you sure you are human at all? Counselors can not help you, you need to begin by seeking for forgiveness from this man. Look at how you are wasting another woman's son. You are a shame to motherhood. 20 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by kpolli(m): 5:14pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Dyt: Dyt which decision did you make o |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 5:24pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Mods Dominique Lalasticlala Mynd44 Farano Rocktation Please come and help this marriage by pushing this thread to front page to attract wider audience |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 5:51pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:You never dated and the love wasn’t there from the start n you were comfortable marry him, smdh. You can’t force love, it’s either there or isn’t. If no love during courtship, don’t marry the person, simple! I dated my husband for some years before marrying. Many people in Nigeria are rushing into marriage now not bothering to set the proper foundation. The other day my friend in Nigeria was telling me 6 months is enough to date and marry someone and I was like huh? 3 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by crackkhaus: 6:17pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
merahki:Her honesty and self-awareness is a well constructed mask to cover her selfish emotions, self-pity, and conceited attitude regarding the overall situation of the marriage. All I see here is someone who is feigning responsibility but still finding a way to talk about how she's in this position because of her family and husband. It's blasphemy! Oh yes I'm a bad wife, but it's not really my fault you see...because I never really loved him, I always preferred him as a friend, my family liked him and I'm a good daughter, so I went with it and that's how I got here...bla bla bla bla yada yada yada... Lol I'm surprised you bought this amateur theatrical show by the OP.. About my sister or daughter in this same situation...if by devil's chance they were silly enough to go into a marriage with someone they never wanted to marry and started bītching about it a few years down the line, then by God I would be saying this same thing to them. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by crackkhaus: 6:19pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve:The more she types responses, the more I don't regret being too hard on her. She's that gift that keeps on giving. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 6:29pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
crackkhaus: I feel sowwire for many of the menfolk of our generation. Some of these bad ladis are making the good ones be looked upon as bad 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 6:39pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:This is why men should never allow themselves to be the fall back guy like OP's husband. Clearly, aside his intelligence (whixh I even doubt sef), OP doesn't find anything interesting or fascinating in her husband. Its a shame! Sad tale of another Beta male 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Dyt(f): 6:46pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 6:48pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
TonyeBarcanista: You words painted such a gloom tale 3 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 6:49pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Sixfeetbelle didn't i say she wants to capsoze this union because there was one aside somewhere she has eyes on. This is the answer to why Jesus says whoever marries them committs adultery. Because 80% of times women would initiate divorce in these cases is die to emotional infidelity and false promises by someone on the outside which is why she has built mental and psychological blocks to suffer this one. Now this is the mind of this narcissit we have here My dad didn't allow me marry my teen love so I'll not give the one with me any goodness to frustrate him so he can suffer the decision of my bad Don't be shocked this Op has "killed", her heart wih my husband an is having all sorts of shady emotional love relationship with the side guy and coded sex and she only yearns for divorce so they can fvck uncodedly. Cc Crackhaus Franchasng Sixfeetbelle Martinez39s Ericsmith Jonnyspute Ubunja 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 6:56pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Please quickly leave the guy so he can experience true loving before he dies and you can legitimize your adultery 5 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by frozen70(f): 7:01pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve: My her God help her 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 7:02pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Martinez39s(m): 7:05pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
You guys are brother and sister at this point. 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by CaptMarvel(m): 7:05pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Tallesty1:what kind of perverted carpenter is this. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:06pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve:My brother, abeg no.blame.OP! Her husband caused his problem! From onset OP never wanted the marriage but her friendzone husband passed through the backdoor to see her parents and planned the wedding instead of going through the person he intended to marry first to.know his fate. Secondly, OP clearly informed her aunt before wedding but that one dismissed her objection with "what will people say" The fault is 90% her husband, 8% her family and just 2% OP. 8 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 7:10pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
TonyeBarcanista: You're enouraging her.Wait till you hear her parents reason for not consenting to marry the thug she's planning to elope with. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:11pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve:Bros dem no de force person stay marriage. She obviously doesn't want and it is in the best interest for both parties to go their separate ways. 4 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 7:14pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
TonyeBarcanista: Bros they don't force people to get married. This would have been done before this bus stop. Abi dem dey point person gun for head marry. You're missing the point. The attachment to teenage lust(a fantasy) is what it is. A lust. Read up Votrex368 comments above One does everything yet is never liked let alone loved. But yet the same individual is fvcking and wants to elope someone else that isnt worth half the other being. Its nore internal than blame game. The ability to love is as innate as the ability to desperatey prevent oneself from loving a person. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Bigmama9ja: 7:25pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Marriage is an institution that involves constant work from both parties involved and most times we get married without fully preparing ourselves for married lifestyle. We have spent the most of our lifes thinking about number 1 [/b]YOU[b] and that's why it's difficult switching our mindset to [/b]US[b] Also we marry due to pressure from our families, friends, and a secure net. We should only marry when we are emotionally ready and have full prepared. Dear Poster, it pains that a your marriage like yours is about to come to an end but I believe you and hubby can try and fix this, so hit me up and we can start to revive your marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:27pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve:You miss the key point here; attraction! See ehn, as I am, no matter how good a girl is, no matter her character, status etc, if I don't find her attractive enough, I will never find her attractive! If she likes let her do everything in the world for me, I will only like her but not love her enough. Similar case is ongoing between the OP Girlwhocares and her husband! She never found her husband attractive enough to give her heart to him despite his good nature. Her husband also didn't even play his card well by ensuring that he get married to a woman who loves him rather than a woman whose family loves him. See, as for the ex, lemme tell you, when I broke up with my first GF, I was still in love with her but never found her worthy enough (after the breakup) despite her numerous attempt to have us together (she is a very good and beautiful girl). Yet, I told myself that I won't date just any good girl but a girl that catches my fantasy in addition to her good character. I'm sure OP would have open her heart if she had met someone that catches her fantasies and appeals to her even after breakup with her ex. See eh, the only solution is for OP to do deep introspection and decide what she really wants. There is no sentiment! Her husband is the root of his problem 7 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 7:32pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
TonyeBarcanista: You missed it completely. That's lust. Childish love. Marriage here. Child involved. Friends opinion. Side guy. Adultery 4 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:41pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
healthserve:No, it is not lust, it is love. Lust actually has to do with sexual desire ONLY and it is never long term. Lust clears after either party has gotten what they want (sex) to their satisfaction. Love entails attraction and affection. This is what last and it is long term. Attraction and Affection are what separate love from likeness. Marriage involve love (attraction and affection) as well as other attributes for it to blossom. Once that attraction and affection are missing, what will happen is a loveless situation where one or both partners feel scammed into the union. Now she never loved her husband but only liked him as a friend. That the husband made her enter into the relationship through the backdoor (family) makes her feel scammed and waylayed. I support her on seeking the way forward. She absolutely deserve happiness and not live for societal opinion. Her husband is his own problem 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by victorian(f): 7:44pm On Feb 22, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: Now I understand why u are not Inlove with him He's not takingcare of you and my dear that's the origin of the problems u are facing. We women, we love it when our men take care of us, even in little ways, let him spend some money on us, even when we are billionaires. He has to spend. And such thoughts it's not bad. That's how God created us. You don't even have any issues. Quote me anywhere, if your man starts spending on u, surprising u with gifts and u do same. U will see how the feelings will flow and love will creep in. Simple! Both of u are like two strangers living in a house, going to work and coming back home. Your problem is not even a problem. 1 Like |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (21) (Reply)
Conversation Between A Mother And Her Child Who Caught Her Cheating On His Dad. / Man Leaks Facebook Chats Of His Wife With Married Man / Uk-based Wife Disrupts Wedding Between Her Husband & New Wife - pics
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 93 |