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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (84310 Views)
Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But Feels Single. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by BlogRabbit: 7:10am On Feb 23, 2020 |
This is exactly the reason many marriages fail these days. Not marrying who they love but marrying who is ready or just for a physical trait which may leave the person at any stated time. This is wrong wrong to marry for such reasons. Spits on the floor� Girlwhocares: 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by NaijaOlosho(f): 7:11am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Simple way to solve this issue. You people should start fucking Bleep in the morning, Bleep afternoon and evening for two weeks Thank me later. You guys lack good and sweet sex that's all. Your husband is a dull man, you can't stay with me and I no go Bleep your pussy out if I am to be a man. And yet your in my house. Good sex is the booster of love. Make ona start to dey Bleep jor |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by isaiahethan: 7:11am On Feb 23, 2020 |
daddytime: You spoke my mind. Nice one 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 7:11am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Goldencheese: The moment people realize that love is a decision, the better for them. Many naive ones feels it's just a feeling one has. 4 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:13am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: Don't go alone. Go with your husband. You'll be amazed at the feedback. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Radicalman(m): 7:14am On Feb 23, 2020 |
My good friend this is not the right place to resolve or get good and sound advice on this your issues, but let me give you some steps to take. First remember that for all have sinned so forgive yourself I means yourself not him all sins and tell your self right now I am ready and willing to live my life as a married woman. Secondly park all your items I means all your things, do Not keep any thing in that your single mother's room and move it to your husband room in his absent and do some other special things like cook some good food for the family and wait for him in the room and as moments he enter call him sweet name and tells him that you are now ready to be his wife Thirdly make commitments to God in prayer and yourself, husband as well as your child. To be a good wife and mother while you prayer for the the grace of God read 2 cor 12 vs 9 The last but not the least always pray and eat together as one family. May God helps you through Christ our lord Amen |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 7:15am On Feb 23, 2020 |
BlogRabbit: The problem is NOT MARRYING WHO THEY ARE COMMITTED TO STAYING WITH FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. Love is a decision you make, it's not a feeling. When you are committed to staying with someone for life, you stay put and make it work even when the feeling of attraction isn't that strong. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by isaiahethan: 7:16am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: You really need God intervention. Pray yourself out. Learn how to love your husband. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by lequama10: 7:17am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:nothing is wrong it's all centered around u, you are the sole proprietorship of your problem with your husband, and trust me he's only giving you time and he's hurting.. I beg you don't turn him crazy. If you had tried to make this work Which clearly isn't call him and make it clear to him you never loved him truthfully, and which you are really trying to but you not just capable of loving him. Stop wasting his time pls and yours, but madam think it real deep, the problem you having is your ex I pray this won't destroy you, you were blessed with happiness but your thought and mind are both getting it all wrong, worried about your child but who told you your child is not feeling the heat already. For your husband not to have disturb you for the past 3years also, trust me he's already tired of all the bullshit just waiting on your decision. Better you make one right now.. leave him or save your marriage orelse you will only become toxic and unproductive, your man is already hating you. He's just feeling bad about coming into your life. Free him or free yourself... 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Bimpe29: 7:18am On Feb 23, 2020 |
For the fact that you thought of pouring out your mind on NL shows the degree of your non challant attitude towards your marital life. This isn't a good and ultimate channel, if truly you want a lasting solution to your challenge. Your family, friend and religious leaders are to be consulted. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by AfroKnight: 7:19am On Feb 23, 2020 |
This is a wicked woman. May God save us from wicked women. She held on to the marriage, punishing the guy, daily draining his love and refusing him the intimacy he deserves. It has been 3 years of frustrating him, creating and maintaining the distance between you guys. Wicked woman. Perhaps you’re waiting for him to cheat so you can justify your wickedness. You go wait tire. Leave him so that you can go back to your ex or anyone else; but just leave him abeg. He deserves a wife, not a roommate. 3 Likes
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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by machiavelli95: 7:21am On Feb 23, 2020 |
healthserve: Please tell us the reason. Let young men here learn |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Sweeetheart(m): 7:21am On Feb 23, 2020 |
you don't want insult but you just ridicule someone son, someone father here selfish lady why go in marriage with the man if you're not attracted to him? why exploit his emotions to your own advantage because is obvious it was your age that made you to be desperate to go in marriage with him a man you married didn't sex you for 3yrs? but why some men like that? I swear dem no born my fiancé well to tell me not to sex her for 2weeks. you're mentally unbalanced, you only need a psychological traits because another man will suffered the same fate in your hand. you're a misandry kind of person, there is no how any marriage will work with you |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by AfroKnight: 7:26am On Feb 23, 2020 |
healthserve: Pure witchcraft! Manipulation is filthy but this is even filthier. She is withholding the love she swore to give her husband, yet she refused to leave him alone. 3 years! Such a wicked woman. 5 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 7:28am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: Please read this carefully as many times as you need to, to understand. Love is not a matter of the emotions. It is a matter of the will. From your narrative, it seems you have a good man. You have what most women will kill to have, a loving husband and a peaceful home. Tell yourself in your mind that you love your husband very much and picture yourself loving him for everything he does. Do this simple exercise at least every morning before you get up from bed and last thing at night before you go to sleep. Make sure you do this constantly, at least twice everyday. You can also do it during the day, as frequent as you can manage. Don't worry if you don't feel anything emotional at first. Just don't stop. Keep doing this. Set a target for yourself, say, 6months to a year to see the difference. Come back and tell us the good news. Remember, 1. We do not value what we have until we lose it. 2. Love is not emotions, it is will. All the best. 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 7:28am On Feb 23, 2020 |
machiavelli95: So you don't know that the woman's ex is knacking her steady abi? Lol. That is the only reason she isn't feeling this marriage of hers |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Godsonjoe: 7:28am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Marriage I not by force... don't marry due to others are getting married! sometimes wonder why, especially in black African countries,,,,, that marriage is going them crazy in aspect of our ladies.. Instead of divorce, don't marry. As for the complaint, no advise will heal your marriage, you gat what it take to make your family workable or not workable. So the choice is yours. It's left for you to divorce or stay and build your home 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by nick50(m): 7:29am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Op..u might be under a spell probably from ur ex.. I will advise u to visit a powerful man of God or a renowned native doctor but if after that it doesn't still work then u have to take the bold step and divorce ur husband then move on with life.. No need to waste more time cos u re not getting any younger... Please do the needful and release that innocent man(ur husband) for better women who deserves him |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by machiavelli95: 7:32am On Feb 23, 2020 |
ityP: I was suspecting spiritual husband. I've similarly seen a case like this. The man would literally get knocked off the bed and also experience serious as luck whenever he sleeps with his wife. Moreover, the wife had zero attraction for the husband. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by sheDD(m): 7:33am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Ishilove:is finances Nothing more! Haven't you heard Women are only path with those that can bear their financial burden and never love. Thereby making the innocent husband a workhorse. No wonder that girl Pocochant always address men as horseband. These folks are just nothing but selfish and callous just to say the least. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 7:35am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Vortex369:what are your qualifications to give this type of unrealistic advice 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Goldencheese(m): 7:36am On Feb 23, 2020 |
ityP: I am just giving you a standing ovation where I am now. With this mentality, haa, you will go far, scaling multiple, multiple heights. Have an amazing day and awesome life ahead of you. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by toby2(m): 7:37am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:sorry for poke nosing... I intended on reading and moving before I saw this comment... ma, u are already married, not to the 4years guy, but to the 15years guy. just leave the former cos even ur child will not forgive u if u allow his dad to continue to be starved of love. The earlier the better, you can only make this work by leaving that marriage and set the man free... I am not a divorce advocate but yes, u have been married before ur parents married u out. 3 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by kellyjc(m): 7:38am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:please go and watch this movie called temptation |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 7:39am On Feb 23, 2020 |
machiavelli95: There is nothing like spiritual husband. Which bible verse mentions anything that suggests spiritual husband? It's cheating and nothing else 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by wiseGD: 7:39am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:Since your mum seems to already know you had no feelings for him(reason she told you that you would grow to love him?), I suggest you talk to your mum. Sit her down privately and speak at length with her. She needs to know what's going on with you and how it's been/how you feel. I'm assuming she is one of those mums who wouldn't scold you or shout on you but will listen calmly. Secondly, if you have a spiritual figure(a true Christian couple whose marriage have stood the long test of time and are trustworthy), you can share with them. It's always healthy to let out(to the right people) what's troubling you so one doesn't end up falling into depression. Third, you could visit a marriage councillor with your mum. Note: don't try in any way to hide anything when asked questions. Be truthful and say your true feelings. That's the way you will get the right help. And you need to get this help fast...so start the process. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by tobsonkings: 7:39am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Many comment amazed me. Some even said family members and religious leaders are to be consulted. However, I regard them as third parties in marriage. I undertand your feeling my dear. You must understand that the success of your venture is a product of your decision. Alot of thing were wrong from tue beginning in that you didnt love him, yet you married him. Secondly, you shared different rooms in the same house as Husband and wife who re just 4year in marriage. Thirdly, you ve not had sex in the last 3years, you also said you re irritated by his presence which may be why you decline sex if he even comes for a good time to share with you. I am convinced there is a lot you say in this your post. If you think there is a way out of that marriage, I am very sorry to disaapoint you. you will only end up having a son who lack proper parental upbringing. Having said all this as a married man with kids, i will really love to talk to you on this matter. If you re in Abuja, i will be glad to book an appointment with you. kindly send your number to me on 08036000276. Have a great week. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by idrezee(m): 7:40am On Feb 23, 2020 |
DO YOU LOVE HIM? If yes then be shameless and be the CAPTAIN in this "situationSHIP". Offer to sleep in his room, use any excuse, try washing comedy skits with him, "oh honey see this, Nasty Black is so funny" when you watch it together you must laugh together. Don't be too formal with him, change the name you call him, call him a lovely but very funny name, genuinely ask of his friends, family, etc CARE FOR HIM; especially his sexual needs because if he is not getting it from you then he is getting it from outside and its all your fault. Try to be really attracted to him, find reasons to and if after months you still don't see him as you should then bounce. Another thing, everyone is blaming just you but that should not be the case, you both have your faults. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by stigman(m): 7:41am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: If u are in Lagos go and see pastor Kingsley okonkwo (of David Christian center) if u are in main land its at fagbems amuwo odofin (thats close to festac) if u are on the island its at elegushi (close to meadow hall) u can see him after church service, I understand how u feel but first u have to close the door on ur ex, kill the feeling you have for him first, without that there is nothing you will do on this earth that will make ur marriage work, its a must do cos u are married now that's the reality face it, first block his numbers from reaching you. Two prayer go in ur knees and watch God do his, no time is late, u can love ur husband, start by calling him sweet names, take him out don't talk about ur marriage when u guys are out unless u want to start another fight, do things u love together with him, eat on the same table with him, close that gap between u guys, communicate more be the one to bring up topics, don't pick offense, start controlling ur inner mind thanks 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by drezo(m): 7:42am On Feb 23, 2020 |
If you dated someone for 15 yrs, I doubt there would be anyone you would be more comfortable staying with... It's unfortunate it didn't work out... You never can tell if it would have been rosy with this 15yrs guy, but I would expect that even if you guys quarrel you could easily make up, but marriage is an unfamiliar terrain full of surprises one can't always be too sure... You must be angry at your dad but you never know what he saw.... Except it had to do with finances then you can say he was wrong because anybody can become rich tomorrow... Girlwhocares: |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 7:43am On Feb 23, 2020 |
Seek deliverance from a true Man of God. You have a strong case of a spiritual husband, only deliverance can make you enjoy your marriage. Thanks |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 7:45am On Feb 23, 2020 |
This is the best advice, stick with this @Op. babythug: |
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