TheArchangel:
Parental pressure 90% of the time. Especially if the parents are wealthy like in her case. You don't go against daddy and mommy or they will cut you off kinda situation. OP was born with a silver spoon so it is not about the man's money.

pweetiedee:


Your post is so senseless!!!

matrixmuzi:
Your real husband is down in the ocean. Check your dream life. That man is suffering from what he knows nothing about . Your inner man is not comfortable and wants u to make the mistake which is being a single parent. And once you achieve that regret sets in and it will be too late to make amends. Fight off those thoughts and draw close to God.

Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Prec1ous:


Parental pressure? Like she is some kind of robot. If they were poor I will understand but have you ever seen where a rich parent push their kids to marriage?

All the rich parents I know are more interested in having their children making their choices and getting the best education.

So, I do not agree with your reason. She should leave the man for good.

Kulas:


OP, please this is the only cause and solution to your problem.Go and work on what this poster said and stop reading more comments here that may end up confusing you further. Your real husband is down the ocean ,whether you believe it or not.Go and find a solution.

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Girlwhocares:




Yes,this has been the best alternative but honestly i dont know how to tell him a seperation is need and he wont feel bad.
So he wont feel otherwise.
All i want is just for our marriage to work out.

Thank you so much for your time,I really appreciate.

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Vortex369:
@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, and you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with what is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly no, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Do you want my advise?

No, you have already made up your mind and it is fixated on the frame work of 'your type of man'. But what will give that mind set a hard reset is called 'Disappointment and Heartbreak and Insult' from exposure to the world out there, where there is no protection, no mercy, and definately no loving man who loves you sheepishly and foolishly than the man you have.

He is suffering and too ashamed to tell people how much his own wife hates him and he is helpless because he has not made up his mind.

The day he decides to mix up and share his suffering. He will be liberated, he just does not know what great life he is missing on an account of a mentally deranged woman who is suffering from chronic bipolar disorder engineered by thoughts of what could have been as opposed to what is.

You are not a married woman, because you are obviously in denial. But remember, some day, you will grow old, and lack the love you failed to give to someone who loves you. The Universe is savvy. We programmed it with a reward mechanism.

Solution:
1. Meditation - Stop inputs from all 5 sense organs and be left with your Thoughts alone for 1hr each day.
Watch your thoughts go through the memories and projections of your mind and delete the disgusts you feel for your husband and replace hem with what you love about him, cos you will find that your thoughts are mostly negative. No one can do this for you. This is epigenetics.

2. You are not your thoughts, start using the reticular activating system to replace your 'type of man' image with your husband's image during visualization and contemplation and the fabric of your universe will output that within 30 days of the exercise.

3. Invite your dream master every night to show you the progress on your simulated visualization through dreams and recommend steps to open up your heart chakra for unconditional love for all lives including most importantly your husband.

4. Surrender to the Pilot of your Avatar and seek realignment of your Soul within your husband soul group if you want to be with him.

OR Simply walk away and leave that innocent man to a new girl who will love him unconditionally.

I do not like people like you. So, do not thank me. But if you need my assistance, I can guide you out of your valley of darkness.

crackkhaus:

As much as your words might seem harsh, I'm inclined to add a like and a share to it.

I can't believe people are petting her.

Divorce the man already mehn..he will definitely be better for it because I don't see how she is helping/contributing to his life. No sex for years, no emotional support, no addition to his overall growth, NOTHING.
Just sitting there like a fvcking light fixture feeling like she's doing him a favour by staying married to him, acting like the victim, when in fact she is the antichrist herself.

healthserve:




These are the women we've been talking about. Narcissist doesn't qualify their wickedness

Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any
relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his
intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good
guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our
friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all
the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my
mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just
adding up.

bukatyne:


She and her husband are both victims.

She dated a guy for 15 yrs and at marriage, her parents rejected him. She needed to purge herself of her ex so she can bring her heart and all she has to her current marriage.

I don't know why her parents thought her husband is the man however he is suffering because he is married to a woman who cannot be a wife for him.

It seems only her parents are benefitting from this marriage so far.

Otunbastevo:
why wasting this innocent good man time? Why not save him & ur self all this trauma & free him... Please work to the next customery court tomoro been Monday & free this good soul, so that he can go look for a more compatible partner to marry? ur own husband is far deep in the oceanic drinking champaign, I wonder why most ladies are so full of confusion that they don't know what they want? bet me, u will cry so much in pains by d time u loose this man. I'm very sure someone somewhere is busy serving ur kpekus for u cos don't believe u stayed a whole 3years without sex, likewise d man. Pls free this man now, ur eye will clear when village people eventually release u.

GodLovingMe2020:
I had the same experience for 24 long years with a woman who was “madly in Love” but now claims to have no emotional attachment to me. The worse part was that she won’t leave my house so I could get on with my life. I couldn’t throw her out because she is the mother of my children. No sex, no affection, we were not sleeping in the same bedroom, we never had any discussion as a couple.

We used to go to church together, and from the outside it looked as if we were an ideal couple. Only my children knew what was happening in our home.

I am the breadwinner even though I registered her to study law, sponsored her law education and today she is a lawyer. I bought two cars fir her and did many many things for her. She had the audacity to open her mouth to tell me she never loved me. I asked her, so why did you marry me? She said, “Can’t you marry somebody you don’t love?” That was about six years ago. She said the only person she ever loved was a fellow youth corper she met while doing her youth service, before I met her. She wanted to continue with the guy after youth service, but the guy had other plans and told her to move on.

When I met her, she was struggling in life but I offered to help her since I had a very good job and earning a fantastic salary. Just last December, she told me she was traveling to see her people and that was the last time I saw her. I understand she has a job at her place, but her things are still in my place. Her people have not called me to ask anything.

The things some men go through at the hands of women.....,,,,,,........

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Prec1ous:
You married the brother who was ready to take care of your bills right? Because the one you wanted was not serious, ready and wealthy. Hahahahah. I assume things are not too well with that man again so you are ready to bounce.

I hope that brother bursting your head now is really interested in you and will take your child too.

You never loved that man, it did not just start today. You knew but because of comfort and money. You decided to try your luck and see if the love will grow.

You are making no effort so why not just divorce, separate...just leave and seek your happiness.

To my fellow guys, don't ever get swindled in the name of love. Nothing is real!