In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise - Romance - Nairaland
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My Girlfriend Is Too Stubborn, Please Advise Me / I Am Thinking Of Quitting My Relationship, Please Advise Me On What To Do / Single Mom Advertises Herself For A Husband On Twitter (2) (3) (4)
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| In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 2:53pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member) We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this. Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old. Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father. Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all. Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out. My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much. I don't know what to do. Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter. She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself. I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown. Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father I'm not comfortable in my own home. A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in. Please I need matured advice 38 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Abfinest007(m): 3:03pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
i alway advise guys not engage in a match that u are one zero down .na u need a penalty continue there is no var so there is no penalty for u 240 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Tallguy28: 3:04pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
I think you should break up with her. Move on with your life find another girl. By the way what type of online business do you do? I'm looking for people who have successful online businesses 266 Likes 15 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by kels2010(m): 3:05pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
She and the child is the complete package if you want the girl be ready to take the child too.. Beside what's there to take of an innocent child who only needs a good father figure in his life 201 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ojotobiloba1: 3:09pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
One adage in Yoruba says, A peaceful house that is going on well, that the bastard in that house isn't aged, well I will advise u to tell ur wife to take the boy to her big mummy or u quit , call spade a spade or else ur comfort and happiness in your house is on the line! 134 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 3:10pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Tallguy28: I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc. 58 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Abfinest007(m): 3:11pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
stop being self-center if she is good marry her since u said she well behaved is hard to see a woman who is submissive. one problem i have with single mothers is that. when u offend them they will go n post d picture of eir son or daughter saying" my pride .she/he is all i got 315 Likes 18 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 3:11pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
kels2010: Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child? I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child. 204 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:12pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea:And she doesn't flirt 47 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by LOGOBELT: 3:16pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
what do you mean? like you pay the boy school fees and other bill?? like WTF! So you are the one paying for the mother's mistake, father's mistake and probably training another man's child for him. Let the boy become a successful boy today now, the father will come to claim him, and your girlfriend will probably return back to her ex and leave you stranded! Like for me its a NO NO! She and her Ex needs to pay for their mistakes not you. My advice to you, is for you to stop paying any of the boy's fees, except from your own will. Better still open a business for the Girl if she has none, fund the business for her. Then solemnly tell her to fund the boy's need from there. Mark my words, I said "Solemnly" 192 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:17pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Find your own girl to give a baby. Don't settle for left overs No matter how well-behaved and loving a single mother is, remember she's well behaved and loving BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU TO RAISE HER KID. Never forget. If she didn't have that kid she wouldn't be talking to you in the first place. Just remember. ALPHA FVCKS, BETA BUCKS Bad Boys impregnate, Simps raise. In life there are Impregnators and Fathers. We all have a role to play in the world. Some of us have that golden sperm that must be replicated. Some of us have the gold to raise the product of that golden sperm. Working together we push the human race forward. We all choose which role to play. Women are the sperm dishes. Men can either be the Sperm Donor or the Sponsor that supports the sperm product. 395 Likes 36 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 3:18pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
MickzyDonald: Yes she doesn't. She doesn't even have friends, she is always at home most times, only goes out when I tell her we should go out or except she goes to her trainee work as an auxiliary nurse but she is done with that... 1 Like |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 3:19pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja: Bro your words hit me, do you really think so? Although I'm a very fine guy no doubt most girls would fall for me the way she acts I kinda feel she loves me but the child is the only problem and she doesn't even have any friends she is mostly with me all the time.. 2 Likes |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:19pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea:I wonder how her life was before the kid slowed her down. Lmfao. 143 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by LOGOBELT: 3:21pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja: I can't believe this comment is from a woman 49 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:22pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea:Then u should make your self close to the son 15 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:22pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea:are you ready for the truth? Here it is: SHE REALLY LOVES YOU. Honest to God. But women are created in such a way that they reserve their true love for men like you who they can use. In other words her love is real. But also fake. Date a single girl with no kid and she won't love you as much as a single mother will. But the single mother is loving you for the wrong reasons. That's why we call women's love OPPORTUNISTIC. A woman loves you as long as there's opportunity for her to benefit something from you. 261 Likes 21 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:23pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
MickzyDonald:Cos she got pregnant doesn't mean she flirt. My friend got preggy the first day she had sex. 25 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:25pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
LOGOBELT:SMH. 38 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Validcode: 3:25pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
You need to make up your mind. Either you marry her or you don't. It's apparent you and the boy are going to have a rough time, eventually, when he's grown, he'll claim: you maltreated him, discriminated between him and your biological children etc, after he has eaten your food and you trained him through school. 84 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:26pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
This thread would soon get run down by Nairaland's alphas. None of whom would put their sentiments aside and comment without bias... Op it's obvious the relationship wouldn't work out well because you do not love the child. It's not the womans fault but yours. The child might not be bad but your dislike for raising up another man's son would blind you of any of the kid's good points. You mentioned that you love peace. If you have a child with your girlfriend, would he/her disturb too? Don't waste either your time or hers. Simply let go now... But if she's so good as you have portrayed, know you might be throwing away a diamond to later pick up a mere stone. 107 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:27pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:Bro go sit down and deliberate the matter 27 Likes 4 Shares
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| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by LOGOBELT: 3:27pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:Like its a "he" I thought he was a lady, you know the (f) tag Like the guy is just ranting nonsense. 1 Like |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:28pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja:reasonable comment. Wrong reasons? 6 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by daddytime(m): 3:28pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Wow..... I'm sitting here and just wondering how you'd handle your own blood if he or she turns out to be more hyper than your babe's son. You mentioned how you hate noise of any sort, let's just say you definitely ain't prepared to have any kids of your own. It is obvious you have zero love for this kid and I'm afraid to tell you that, you can't love a momma and hate her toddler kid. From the woman's side, that'd be a no-no. It's best to "die" this relationship and bury whatever it is you feel for this woman because e no go work. It's a good thing you are letting it out on how you truly feel instead of to go dey use shame chop winch. Meat wey person dey forbid e no dey use teeth share am. If you can't love a kid no matter the circumstance, you'd have same problems with yours for sure and you'd be venting out your frustrations on your spouse and before you'd say Buha....you don open another thread here say your one year marriage don get k-leg. A child will always return the vibe given. In his innocence, he's able to pick up on your hatred for him which of course won't help him love you in return and the subtle tantrums is what you'll get as his way of protesting/rebelling. Show him some love and you'll be amazed how calm he'd become. I pray you grow up fast and find a way to handle this pretty well. Let her go bro.... 170 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by WilliamsTheGrea: 3:29pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja: Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it 5 Likes |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:30pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
LOGOBELT:Don't mind him. Age isn't truly the determining factor when it comes to wisdom. 7 Likes |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:31pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
MickzyDonald:Olosho no deh hard dictate one. E be like seh you be olosho chief.  6 Likes |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Generalissimo75(m): 3:31pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and eventually marrying a single mother. However, something is not right about this case of yours. I see nothing but mischief in this relationship. From the lady...to her mother. What manner of lady does not do social media "at all "? What took her so long to tell you she has a child? How stubborn can a 4 year old be? How come the mother couldn't cope with a "4 year old's "stubbornness now that you have decided to marry her daughter? Perfect timing. ... A word is enough for the wise. 155 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:34pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
[s] ubunja:[/s] all single moms have automatically lost the ability to love a man? Don't be silly. A man can marry a girl who isn't a single mother. But the moment she gives birth, the child becomes her number 1. That's women for you. Whether before or after, we want the man to help RAISE THE KID. Doesn't mean we don't love him still 18 Likes 1 Share |
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