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Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:34pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Don't raise another's child. If you're in that mood to do it then find your cousin who has a kid she can't raise then adopt the kid. Atleast that's your blood there. 45 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:35pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Ok your story is one sided but will still give a councillor advice which are: One since today is the boys birthday, take the boy and your woman out (Engaged & girlfriend are two different words with different meaning)... Do it for your woman and for the boy.. during the outing reassure her you love her in words and actions. Secondly, note: if you have sex with her after the dinner or outing wait till early morning 4am but if there where no midnight rump then by 8-10pm depending on your bedtime talk with her (Tell her your mind, gaurd your word don't talk like you dislike the boy if not she will not see reasons with you)... What to say are... Mummy you know very well I love you and would be marrying you soon but I have some thoughts going on my mind in regards to our boy (our)... I don't want to raise this boy and the end someone else will come and claim him, I like the boy that is why I beat him to correct him you know am a man and the way you treat a child being a woman and the way a man treat his child are not thesame, this boy(use the boy's name oh) when we have trained him will surely return to his father or his father will definitely come to claim him so I suggest we return the boy to the father or family. Give her time to think about it. You just did the word time to do the actions Meet your woman parents ask for her marriage list this singular action clear show you have being thinking of her future with you but the boy is standing on the way. Note: never tell her your family will not accept the boy because she will hate your family forever. Lastly bro if she refuse to do your bidding .... If you can't let her go then train the boy but my advice is let her go .. because it takes the spirit of God in a man's life to remain faithful in a union. Wish you the best of luck... Always refer her as your woman since you have engaged her not as an ordinary girlfriend (fuckmate to be precise) 18 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:35pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:Thats me o If you are in the process of sex and u are tired just feel free to call me for party I'm always available at your disposal 1 Like
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Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:36pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:Thats me o If you are in the process of sex and u are tired just feel free to call me for party I'm always available at your disposal
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Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:36pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01:obvious coming from a lady. Wouldn't expect anything less. 41 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:36pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
MickzyDonald:Olosho chief priest I'm not like you, I will pass. Have a nice day. |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by jawalis(m): 3:36pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
You really sounds like a gentleman. But here’s the problem. Don’t you think she’s humbled cos of the fact that she’s a single mother (After One) and she knows for sure that NO MAN WILL ACCEPT HER WITH A CHILD THESE DAYS. Let her not behave well or be comported like all those shit of good girl she’s faking and see if anyone will look her direction. Forget her humility or whatever mask she’s putting on as a camouflage to wipe off her ugly past. And you are calm enough to believe or assume she’s decent. Where’s the decency in ladies Nowadays. Listen; because she’s not used to social Media doesn’t make her trustworthy, it might be due to circumstances. Who knows where she met her ex who’s the father of the boy. Her so called decency decency or other freaky questionable qualities that got you attracted might be a product of her lesson leant in the harder way. Btw, she’s just 24 and already had a 4yrs old boy and you believe she’s good, decent, churchy and lots of shit. Bro stop thinking with your heart. Let your brain take charge of the reasoning. She told you over her dead body! Meaning she’ll chose the child over you and you are there protecting her and feeling butterflies for that chameleon who already manipulated you and already on the verge on caging you into taking responsibilities for her looseness. And she’s expecting you to condone what her own mother cannot tolerate. What a pity. Paying his school fee isn’t bad. Honestly. You can do more if you have the financial capacities but not at the expense of your happiness. From your words here: it’s clear you aren’t comfortable with the whole thing and she’s not ready to let go. There are lots of single girls out there who you can wife. Forget about these feeling issues. It weakens you. 74 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by XhosaNostra(f): 3:37pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea: OK, 1st of all I don't think you're as nice as you believe yourself to be because of the bolded. With that said, I also understand your predicament. This happened almost overnight, so you're going to need a bit of time to adjust to the changes around your home. However, regarding the little boy, if you really are the kind of guy you perceive yourself to be, you'd take this opportunity to mentor the child so he can become as great a guy as you are All he needs in his young life is a good, male role model & what a great candidate you are, Mr Nice Guy! You know this child has no father or rather, doesn't have one that is interested in his upbringing. It would be a shame if you also turned your back on him without even trying to turn him around. Not trying to guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do, but sometimes all a person needs is someone that cares. This child has already been abandoned by two people in his life, the biological father & the granny. Only God knows what kind of trust issues & worthlessness he's going to grow up with if he doesn't get stability in his life soon. Think of it as a humanitarian act Now about the child's mother. I personally don't think it's right for her to tell you to do things for this child, while she's not putting the same amount of energy into demanding that the biological father owns up to his responsibility. It's just not fair. It should come out the kindness of your heart. I hope things work out for you guys. It's an unfortunate situation because there's an innocent child involved, who's not responsible for the choices his parents made. 22 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:37pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
daddytime:Exactly! Your last sentence tho! You're from the south? 1 Like |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MickzyDonald: 3:39pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:just in case you are tired |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:40pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:you can call me a hypocritical old cargo, I don't mind cause I don't even know you. 20 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by SmellingAnus(m): 3:40pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01:matured advice... Something tells me you have a kid at least... 1 Like |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:41pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja:What do I expect from an old baby daddy suffering from amnesia. |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:43pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Dande55:you expect a debate. I won't give it to you. Cause this is my last message from me to you. 27 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:43pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja:if i were a male your answer would be different? Don't hide the fact that you have nothing to type with that, 'Obviously coming from a lady. Wouldn't expect anything less', statement. People aren't mathematics, okay? We don't solve our problems with formulars but a fair amount of logic and emotions. Your comments have only the latter. Quote me logically next time. 12 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Newyam: 3:44pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
The problem here is that you are still seeing the boy as another man pikin and nah dis problem wey your babe dey get with you. You have to accept the boy, accept the fact that children can be stubborn too. No dey dey unnecessarily harsh with d guy. Treat the guy as your son, that is what he deserves. Now, if d woman is a good lady, then marry her but you guys should have a discussion on the guys future. One of my babe den was raised by a man who is not even her father but married the mother. Even up till now, she still dey live with the man. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Dande55: 3:44pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja:E pain am. Lonely old baby papa |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:46pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01:Interesting words. Judged him based on how he presented the matter but in between line you never figured the fact that he can't accept the boy which in his mind, he have decided what he ask was the way to go about it not all this write up ... One can throw away Gold to pick Stone if it gives him peace of mind. So people who dress in rags are rich but afraid of the unknown... Just living a quiet life 3 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:47pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01:people are mathematics that's why governments have analysts and statisticians who analyse everything data to forecast people's future moves from voting to spending habits. If you didn't know, you now know. 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by daddytime(m): 3:48pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01: Niger Delta man oh! 3 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:49pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
SmellingAnus:nope |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Clinghton: 3:52pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
If you can't withstand quit before you tie the knot. Single Mon are best with with older man. Eg, widowers 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:53pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
ubunja:and they do a better job than psychologist? Ted Bundy killed over 30 women because of his traumatic childhood. Not because 1 + 1 equals 2. Fair amount of logic and emotion. 12 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Headlesschicken(m): 3:54pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Yuh peace of mind should always remain the ultimate... 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:54pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Raising another man's kid is for losers who can't make their own kids. Dude find your own girl to impregnate. Those balls are not for decoration. 53 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 3:57pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Mandelus:that's why i told him to let go... He cannot get over the thought of raising another man's child. He might never... So he should let go... Doesn't change the fact that she may be gold and the next woman a common stone. But what ever gives him peace. 4 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ubunja(m): 3:59pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01:if people were not numbers who were predictable how will psychologists even be able to do their job? FYI Psychologists follow patterns and methods written down to follow. It's all predicted. Like maths. 1+1=2. Traumatic childhood is the maths. All rapists, murderers etc have a form of childhood trauma. That's the maths I'm telling you. It's all predictable. Its all numbers. 27 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Igetmyown247: 4:00pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea: There’s nothing wrong with loving that child like your own. He’s only 4yrs old and can be disciplined but not by spanking, he needs love and fatherly figure. He’s innocent and deserves nothing but love. If you’re on here ranting about how you can do this and can’t do please let that woman go with her son so she can’t find someone else that will love them both. 8 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 4:01pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Clinghton:i tried to tell Martinez39s this but his ego wouldn't let him accept that most single mom's aren't interested in young guys, like himself but more older and mature males. Like single dads and widowers 5 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by carpdiemz: 4:02pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
WilliamsTheGrea: I will advice you to move on with your life, it’s very dangerous in this Africa context , if the father isn’t alive it’s different, I don’t want to hear any story on here saying a single mum plan with her former baby daddy to kill her boyfriend or husband ..... I’m just having d thought though not saying she’s dat type , if the baby is a girl is different . I will never do that unless the former boy friend is very rick or lives abroad , sorry I will never advice u to marry such woman 6 Likes |
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by XhosaNostra(f): 4:06pm On Feb 23, 2020 |
Chocolatte01: No, he actually had a good upbringing- being raised by his grandparents. His issues developed after discovering that that his "sister" was actually his mother( he was raised to believe she was his sister because she had him at a young age) & also the fact that some girl he was engaged to, dumped him. I think the later is what really set him off because all the women he murdered had a resemblance to his former fiancee. 1 Like |
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