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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (84463 Views)
Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But Feels Single. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 2:37am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Sunnydays: She clearly doesn't want to work on her marriage. That 15 year affair with her ex and probably the fact she's still collecting knacks from the said ex is fooling her. This advice won't work on her. She should stop torturing the poor husband and get a divorce. Maybe then, eye go clear am 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 2:40am On Feb 24, 2020 |
pweetiedee: His words are not entirely out of place. If she has any little concern for that husband, the right thing she should do is call for a divorce. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 2:47am On Feb 24, 2020 |
BlackPantherCri: You're a woman every man would want as a wife. You understand this thing called marriage so well. You just reiterated what I've been saying all along. 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 2:51am On Feb 24, 2020 |
philip0906: Thank you. These people like fooling themselves. She wasn't forced to marry him. She chose to. The ONLY victim is the man. She's the villain in this story |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 2:57am On Feb 24, 2020 |
abutujj: What is she going through? The only person going through hell is that unfortunate husband of hers. May I never be so stupid to stay put in a marriage as useless as this. May divorce come into my mind immediately my wife starts misbehaving like this woman. And may I never cross paths with her type again. Stop the petting game. She is the villain in this tale. If she wants her conscience to stop judging her, let her immediately file for divorce and end his misery |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by anonimi: 3:25am On Feb 24, 2020 |
machiavelli95: We are on the same page.................................save yourself the irritation stress. Enjoy! 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Zinny25(f): 3:52am On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP:Love is kind,love is patient,love keeps no record of bad done,love is understanding etc. Genuine love stands the test of time. when you genuinely love a person, you make sacrifices, you adjust your ways, just to make that person happy and so your relationship would work. Once there's no love, your relationship is headed for The rocks |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Omar09(m): 4:08am On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP: I'm a dude. If you read right, I said I will go out of the way and do what others didn't do. Besides I knowingly blamed the husband so that men will learn not to force themselves on women. It's not proper. That's the end result. These days a typical marriage/relationship is “a man forcing himself on a woman (cause of her beauty) and the woman reciprocating with forcing herself to love the same man (maybe he's rich)”. It doesn't end well. I passed a message, only those who needed it will see it before opening this thread. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by HabaHaba: 4:35am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Tallesty1: It's still the same "Seeing someone", only this time, spiritual seems. Lol |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by imagrg(m): 5:42am On Feb 24, 2020 |
See how your parents have ruined your happiness. Parents must not make choices for their children when it concerns marriage. Is your husband much older than you? Does he satisfy you sexually? Call the attention of your husband to it and make your decision known to him now that he is still young instead of divorcing him when he is too old for another relationship. I believe you derive more sexual satisfaction from your former boyfriend than from your husband. My opinion though. Girlwhocares: 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by granely(f): 6:35am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: You can go to any university and look for guidance and counselling department, if you are in anambra I will advise you to go to Unizik and meet one of the counsellors especially a woman, but please open your heart and make up your mind to love your husband, only you can do that, smile at him and imagine better live ahead with him, initiate sex, think about your child and try to get pregnant again, don't forget to ask God to perfect your marriage, am having the same feeling for the guy that want to marry me now but I told myself that I can only love him if I truly open my heart but I wish I will see a guy that I will truly love 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 6:54am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Zinny25: Love is based on knowledge and choice. I might not be attracted to someone, but if I get married to the person and I see how wonderful a person she is, love don start be that. I then make a conscious choice to stick. It doesn't matter who I get married to. As long as she doesn't have serious character flaws, I MUST love her. That's the mentality people should have going into marriage. OP clearly doesn't want to love her husband, it's not that she doesn't love him. When she sees marriage in this light, she would stick and make her marriage a success. And she would be happy too |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 6:58am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Zinny25, this clearly explains what love is and how a wise individual makes his or her marriage work BlackPantherCri: |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by cerpvad(m): 7:04am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Did you say no sex for the past 3 years? That statement makes your story seem fake. You are in a a marriage and you are not having sex for the past three years? What is your husband saying about that? How do you two dispense sexual urges. Perhaps you are getting it from a man out there and he is also being served by another woman outside. The two of you should stop deceiving each other. Clear advice. Tell your husband how you feel and advise him to go and marry another woman while you quit the marriage. Girlwhocares: |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by knowyaself2(m): 7:04am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Sunnydays:Thank you my dear. The naive woman thinks love will drop from the sky and straight into her heart. It's work, one has to create it in their mind. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by psych4urhelp: 7:40am On Feb 24, 2020 |
[color=#006600][/color]well madam, I serious feel for you. the issues on ground can only be addressed and solved by you. As you have said, your husband is a very loving man, let me be sincere with you ,he's feeling the same towards your attitude but man possess strong coping mechanism than women ,thats why he's still with you. if you ever discuss or make any effort for separation or divorce ,he will celebrate it after you.seek solution while you are still with him. All what you need in your type of man he still with him, you just need to work on yourself . Your 15yrs ex boyfriend can never marry you except you get pregnant or you both involved in some spiritual covenant with him. I'm a man and I know what I'm talking about, we(men)tend to gain more in long courtship than women.it may appear to you that he was pained when you left him to married another man but he was more than happy that you left but he will just painted to you he was heart broken and devastated but deeply he was happy. Your parent go extra mile to decided you can't marry him, they can't tell you everything but just to come with excuses you founded not genuine. My sister,forget past there is no future in the past,from your post, your man is still very good for you. live in the presence with him, ignite those things ,love him more . May Almighty God restore the love and happiness you desires. [b]well madam, I serious feel for you. the issues on ground can only be addressed and solved by you. As you have said, your husband is a very loving man, let me be sincere with you ,he's feeling the same towards your attitude but man possess strong coping mechanism than women ,thats why he's still with you. if you ever discuss or make any effort for separation or divorce ,he will celebrate it after you.seek solution while you are still with him. All what you need in your type of man he still with him, you just need to work on yourself . Your 15yrs ex boyfriend can never marry you except you get pregnant or you both involved in some spiritual covenant with him. I'm a man and I know what I'm talking about, we(men)tend to gain more in long courtship than women.it may appear to you that he was pained when you left him to married another man but he was more than happy that you left but he will just painted to you he was heart broken and devastated but deeply he was happy. Your parent go extra mile to decided you can't marry him, they can't tell you everything but just to come with excuses you founded not genuine. My sister,forget past there is no future in the past,from your post, your man is still very good for you. live in the presence with him, ignite those things ,love him more . May Almighty God restore the love and happiness you desires. [/b]well madam, I serious feel for you. the issues on ground can only be addressed and solved by you. As you have said, your husband is a very loving man, let me be sincere with you ,he's feeling the same towards your attitude but man possess strong coping mechanism than women ,thats why he's still with you. if you ever discuss or make any effort for separation or divorce ,he will celebrate it after you.seek solution while you are still with him. All what you need in your type of man he still with him, you just need to work on yourself . Your 15yrs ex boyfriend can never marry you except you get pregnant or you both involved in some spiritual covenant with him. I'm a man and I know what I'm talking about, we(men)tend to gain more in long courtship than women.it may appear to you that he was pained when you left him to married another man but he was more than happy that you left but he will just painted to you he was heart broken and devastated but deeply he was happy. Your parent go extra mile to decided you can't marry him, they can't tell you everything but just to come with excuses you founded not genuine. My sister,forget past there is no future in the past,from your post, your man is still very good for you. live in the presence with him, ignite those things ,love him more . May Almighty God restore the love and happiness you desires. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Zinny25(f): 8:12am On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP:it would be difficult to respect a man I don't love |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Zinny25(f): 8:15am On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP:it doesn't work for everyone... I can't respect a man I don't love, I won't even appreciate what you are doing. I won't even let you touch me. I'll feel irritated, I'll only pity you not love you. there should be love from both parties. I can't marry a man I don't love E.O.D. 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 8:23am On Feb 24, 2020 |
There are some questions you ask a lady before getting married to her. Why will I get married to a girl who dated a guy for 15 years. The ex will always have her mumu-button. Always make inquiry about the past relationship of your woman before saying I do, find out how long they dated and what resulted to their breakup. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 8:26am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Nnemuka: Because he treats her right. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by EagleNest(m): 8:40am On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP: Nothing is Impossible! It can be worked to life again if the lady is willing and open to it. And yes, I agree, ladies could be very pretentious. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by donaldchidi: 9:00am On Feb 24, 2020 |
pls chat me on WhatsApp.
08064742665 |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by sim37(m): 9:13am On Feb 24, 2020 |
two things are involved, it's either u are cheating or 've cheated on him, Dear married op, whoever you are cheating with Will never trust u, even if he loves u die,cos d person knows if u divorce ur husband and marry you, he will 've the conviction that d percentage of u cheating on him is 100%, love your husband and stop comparing him with your old/ New secrete lover giving hopeless hope. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Ezalb: 9:44am On Feb 24, 2020 |
somebody needs advice on how to better her life and marriage,you are here spewing thrash..are u even married at all?? healthserve: |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Ezalb: 10:02am On Feb 24, 2020 |
madam....i feel you...but note something,until you leave this earth hope isnt lost,you can keep trying...i will be by Gods grace be celebrating my 4th year wedding anniversary this week and trust me it hasnt been easy,the lady i married wasnt my original choice,it was somewhat of a rebound...i thought i was over drained from my previous relationship and hence felt i couldnt commit to love again,long story short,i have learned to trust God and by his grace our love has evolved,and i believe it will get better.... Eph 5:22 says [b][/b]wives submit, while in vv 25 it says husbands love your wives...allow your husband love you,and you submit to him... your marriage isnt an abusive one i guess,so the idea of divorce shouldnt creep in...i learned before i got married that marriage is an empty box where both couples fill with what they desire... finally your Ex is gone,you have made vows to another...honor those vows to the letter,because this too shall pass...do not do what you will regret forever...like my pastor will always say..."you may get what you want,but you may not like what you have gotten" prayerfully seek God and you will surely get an answer...God bless you... 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 10:12am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Zinny25: The so called love will def cool off; not may. When it does, you would get a divorce |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by knowyaself2(m): 11:35am On Feb 24, 2020 |
Zinny25: you can't talk about love in isolation. You must associate it with such things as beauty, kindness, intelligence, passion, etc. So, you may be right if you say 'I can't fall in love with a stingy man' or 'I don't love him because he's too ugly' for example, which is understandable. That way, when you marry your ideal man, the chances of falling out of love will be small. The problem is that people think love just happens and that what brings it about is inexplicable. Thats stupidity. That said, a good person will stick to his/her spouse even if those attractive qualities change, especially, if this is no fault of their spouse , and try to make it work. And, trust me, they always change, nothing is certain in this life. Thats probably why your church pastors make you take those oaths on your wedding day. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by katyamizotta: 12:42pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
ityP: Stop being silly. She can pray to make it work first before ending it. Ending it would be the last resort. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by katyamizotta: 12:45pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
sim37: This is how people fail exam. Her underlying question is how to make her marriage work. You have falsely assumed she is cheating...except you are the one she is cheating with. You need to read again and again until you understand the passage. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Zinny25(f): 5:08pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
knowyaself2:your first paragraph explains everything, truly something should make me love someone,when I don't find any, how am I supposed to Love |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 5:26pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
katyamizotta: Heaven help those who help themselves. She doesn't want that marriage to work and it's so glaring. Why waste the man's precious time? Na the man I blame sha |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 5:31pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
katyamizotta: Na you fail this exams o. Cos the answer to her question is simple: STOP CHEATING. If you read between the lines, you'd realize the real problem here is that she's knacking her ex or some other guy. No married woman leaving with her husband can stay 3 years without sex and not cheat, not when she has an ex she was in a 15-year relationship with. Think! |
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