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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (84461 Views)
Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But Feels Single. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by knowyaself2(m): 5:50pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
Zinny25: No, without the basis, you cant. Same way I can't love a dishonest person or a compulsive liar. And of course in marriage, I can't marry a woman that I'm not attracted to sexually. But without any serious character flaws and other irredeemable flaws(e.g. zero sexual attraction ), love is not so hard to create in my heart. It's just a mindset, or a commitment/decision, and not some uncontrollable, irrational feelings. That's my point. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 7:06pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
knowyaself2: You have sense. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by OCTAVO: 10:21pm On Feb 24, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:I think you are yet to completely let go of your Ex, especially the memories of the cherished moment you both shared together. This is probably what is occupying your heart, and won't let you create a room in your heart for your husband's affection to thrive. Anyone is lovable. It takes genuine willingness to make it happen. See reasons to love him, I'm not asking you to pity your husband. Is he not good looking enough? Even if he's not, you can mold him to your taste. If his attitude puts you off, have a discussion with him. By separating your rooms, you are making it seem as if your husband does not deserve you. See him as your husband and the love of your life, not just a housemate. You need to work on your mind first! Consciously attempt to love him. In as much as your marriage isn't abusive, do not see divorce as an option, that shows you are not ready and willing to make things work yet. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ThePianoGuy: 12:13am On Feb 25, 2020 |
DeeMain:you win 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Holypriesthood: 9:50am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Opening up its a good step and communication is key. It means you really want things to change in your marriage. I believe the solution is to pray against any hindrance in your marital bliss because the devil is fighting very hard to instigate marital issues. I am a woman and sometimes I feel this way towards my hubby but once I pray this negative feeling goes away which means that it's not ordinary. Physically, you can help yourself, try to be in a relaxing mode, wear sexy night wears because it helps women to be in the mode, apply sexual lubricant and pray for God to activate your sexual life especially for the purpose he created marriage. Then see what happens. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by mykohayz(m): 6:19pm On Feb 25, 2020 |
From the story you shared. I seem to know you. Do you stay around Akowonjo ? |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by AdedoyinO(f): 11:29pm On Feb 25, 2020 |
healthserve: The Holy Spirit led you to call another human useless? What kind of heart do you have? Are you sure the Holy Spirit dwells there with all the vile and venom you poured on this thread? Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 11:34pm On Feb 25, 2020 |
AdedoyinO: The holy spirit lead Jesus to call people "fools" |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by DukeNija(m): 11:38pm On Feb 25, 2020 |
Zinny25: Love and respect are not mutually exclusive. Do you love your boss? Don’t you respect him? Did you love your lecturers? Didn’t you respect them? Use your head. 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by AdedoyinO(f): 11:40pm On Feb 25, 2020 |
ityP: Oga, please miss me with this debate. This thread is not about what Jesus said or not. And yes, the Bible says 'a fool says in his heart there's no God'. Don't argue with me, argue with the Bible. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 6:00am On Feb 26, 2020 |
AdedoyinO: Well, I just wanted to let you know that holy spirit can lead someone to call someone names, if he or she deserves such |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Zinny25(f): 9:29am On Feb 26, 2020 |
DukeNija:that's different, there are people you need to respect whether you love them or not as you have highlighted. What I mean is if I decide to go into a relationship with a guy I don't love, despite him loving me, I won't respect him. Use your head too |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by DukeNija(m): 11:17am On Feb 26, 2020 |
Zinny25: There’s nothing different about love and respect, talking from both sides of your mouth. If you can respect someone without loving them, you can love someone and not respect them which is exactly my point. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Lonelyloner: 6:24pm On Feb 26, 2020 |
katyamizotta: It surely will work. Happy to be of help. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Luchnaka: 7:06pm On Feb 26, 2020 |
Prayer changes situations, get on your knees and talk to your maker ASAP |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by EliteDude(m): 10:33am On Feb 27, 2020 |
Wow. Lots of comments in here, Probably the most mature thread I have seen on NL on sensitive issues like this. Here's the summary of the Issue; 1. Your heart is somewhere else (your ex), but you can bring it home ( you must be willing) to let go. 2. Due to 1 above, you are hurt, and time would heal you. 3. The Choice is all yours, (its not all green out there). 4. Your ex is still in your memory you must create ew ones with your hubby, he deserves it. 5. Time does wonders, there are somethings(memories) , we as humans wish could ladt for ever, but part of living is letting go of the past. There are memories i still cherish, but life goes. All the best. Life goes on. You are your own therapist |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 12:58pm On Feb 27, 2020 |
Despite all the challenges you are a good woman. Very honest hard working and dedicated. I wish you guys find a peaceful solution to this challenge. 3 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 4:30am On Feb 28, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: The same issue I'm encountering with my wife... I have sent your write-up to her for advice. You ladies ehn? it's not by force to marry someone you know you don't Love, you ain't helping your husband at all. I pray he finds peace! 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 8:12am On Feb 28, 2020 |
Tosinayoko: So your wife is giving you same treatment? Did you force her into marrying you? |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 10:04am On Feb 28, 2020 |
ityP: My broda... when you love someone you do all it takes to persuade them but ladies are always the determinant factor. They have the power of Yes or No.. even if someone "force" you you can as well REJECT, instead of ending up giving yourself headache and causing pain for the man. This kind of scenario is like Yoruba saying " ara ko ro okun, ara ko ro ediye"... Something even happen of recent I thought that was the end but NOooooo she still want to continue in the boring marriage. I am sure this lady's husband sees the handwriting boldly written on the wall before they got married, just like me too. It's freaky difficult to let go but it's SAFE to let go in this situation (before marriage). It's not easy at all for divorcee to remarry except you want to be join with someone not religious |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by ityP(m): 10:22pm On Feb 28, 2020 |
Tosinayoko: Hmm. This is sad. I can't and won't ignore signs that the babe I'm dating doesn't love me o. In fact, I deliberately pretend like I don't love ladies I date. I give myself space sometimes. I make them chase after me, that way, I'm able to ascertain if she really Loves me. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 3:10pm On Feb 29, 2020 |
Girlwhocares:Its prolly tearing you apart because you can't talk to anyone about this situation. When you have someone to share emotions, feelings, fears and thoughts with that can (understand) listen and not judge, then you will relax and make the right decision. But you need therapy. Alert me when you get a good one. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 3:13pm On Feb 29, 2020 |
Girlwhocares: Maybe i can help to listen to you. You can rant all to me. If you would like that is. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 4:30pm On Feb 29, 2020 |
pbidex:At least you are your wife's confidant. She trust you to tell you what she is going through and not be judged or ridiculed and logically dismissed. Oga not many men can handle the true conversations they keep shouting upandan that their wives should share with them. You are a very matured man. Thank God for you. At least your wife got good and scored big. Not everyone can have that luck. OP main issue now is first to be listened to, then understood. Only she can find the way to solve this. She just needs to be unburdened first to see how to clearly. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by hayoholla(m): 1:23pm On Mar 01, 2020 |
You married out of compulsion, he married you out of insistence, love was absent in both case. I think two of you are prolly at fault, you got your judgement influenced by parental pressure. You even need to be sure if he really loves you or prolly he's the kind of hussy who's always busy with work. You need to do a thoroug check, if you are sure about his love for you. Then you can proceed to adjusting and changing ursef, which can be easy, Although this involve an emotional showdown talk with him too, you can't do it all alone, he needs to change too. You can make it work, or you can just walk away. Either of the two, your happiness is the ultimate! of |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by davidif: 9:42pm On Mar 01, 2020 |
This is truly one of the saddest things I’ve read in a while. So sad. I truly hope that everything ends up working for you ma’am. |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by leketon: 1:51am On Mar 02, 2020 |
Lonely and Bored ladies, single mothers in kwara State who need it can contact this Whatsapp 09030417834 for free and screat hook up. 1 Like |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 5:27pm On Mar 04, 2020 |
hayoholla: Very thoughtful of you |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 11:08am On Mar 10, 2020 |
Omar09: |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by majestique(f): 9:45am On Mar 22, 2020 |
Hmmm...I honestly feel for your husband who has to has to live under the same roof with someone that doesn't love him. I also feel for you for living under the same roof with someone you think you don't love. As a matter of fact I think the problem is not you but your husband for loving you too much. If I were to be in your husband's shoes now, I give myself one month and you'd come begging for my love. Reverse psychology can actually reset your marriage if only your husband knows what to do... 2 Likes |
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Jehnny01: 1:57pm On Mar 27, 2020 |
Are you female single/married, but bored and lonely? Do you look for a companion to talk (gossip) and laugh with in Abuja? Do you crave for something deep and refreshing? Do you need a companion for morning exercise? Do you want to make new friends, share experiences, have fun and be happy. Let's connect @ jehnny01joy@gmail.com It should be discreet, matured, and fun only |
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