Today I was at the filmhouse to watch a movie title “Can you keep a secret?”
There while waiting I met two guys talking. The first guy was telling his friend “If not that am married to her(his wife) already...all the secret am getting to know about her would had stop the wedding”
That’s a case of regrets in a marital situation.
I automatically guess what’s happening....the wife the guy married had a lot of secret she didn’t share to her husband before getting married and later after the wedding..some of it or all of it started popping up and the guy is feeling regrets marrying her.

Now my questions is
Is it better to keep a secret to someone you want to marry or reveal it.
Also is it better to reveal it before or after the wedding?
Up to you....let’s hear your opinion

K

Gwagone:
K

L

Some issues are better left as secrets while some should be discussed.

You eavesdrop and came to share it here. Olofofo

I hold this statement in high esteem, the secret will eventually be known.

It is best you establish trust before a partnership rather than in the process of living together. Be honest upfront as nothing kills trust/love faster than dishonesty.

This is where the importance of friendship before relationship comes in. It helps!

Most people tends not to understand the importance of being friends with people before going into a relationship with them.

If you have a good friendship with a lady, if you are good in making ladies comfortable with you.
Like, if you have a listening ear and skills of making a lady open and relaxed with, you'll end up knowing most of her secrets. She won't even know when she'll pour them out as a friend.

Most guy see a lady, they ask her out immediately, she agrees, next thing they fvck and boom, they are in a relationship--All in one week. It doesn't work that way. Make your crush your friend, use the medium to know her VERY WELL. It helps!

Friendship is different from relationship, friendship is like a take home assignment, you'll relax and take care of it with expo from any source without much stress and preparation, while relationship is like an exam where you'll have to prepare with pressure, hide your expo, package yourself, pretend to be innocent and good when being approached by an examiner all to get a good RESULT[Marriage].

Make una dey do well o, street of romance na military itself and if you jonze, you go collect better "L" under koom koom way.

...yesterday is past today is a new day ...

I believe in telling it all, but you have to be mindful of who you tell it to, let it be someone with high level of maturity that wouldn't use it against you for the rest of your life, not someone that at any slight misunderstanding or argument, he'd remind you that he married you regardless of your disgusting baggage.

Truthshurts:

Now my questions is
Is it better to keep a secret to someone you want to marry or reveal it.
Also is it better to reveal it before or after the wedding?
Up to you....let’s hear your opinion

it is never an option and unless you are ready to be fully honest with your partner, NOBODY should think of marrying this person.... but that is for the people who get married for the RIGHT REASONS

sadly this is Nigeria/Africa we are talking about, where marriage is a DO OR DIE BUSINESS, and many are willing to do god-knows what to be called MR & MRS. many are willing to marry the worst donkeys out there, and be miserable forever (just to get married), so lying about who they are is a small price to pay.

Truthshurts:
Today I was at the filmhouse to watch a movie title “Can you keep a secret?”
There while waiting I met two guys talking. The first guy was telling his friend “If not that am married to her(his wife) already...all the secret am getting to know about her would had stop the wedding”
That’s a case of regrets in a marital situation.
I automatically guess what’s happening....the wife the guy married had a lot of secret she didn’t share to her husband before getting married and later after the wedding..some of it or all of it started popping up and the guy is feeling regrets marrying her.

Now my questions is
Is it better to keep a secret to someone you want to marry or reveal it.
Also is it better to reveal it before or after the wedding?
Up to you....let’s hear your opinion

Some secrets are best kept with the bearer

But if it licks out, just apologise and be a good person

If the secrets doesn't involve sleeping with 30guys what other secret is there to talk about?

A guy will always dump your hoe ass when he finds out

So tell him immediately

frozen70:
Some secrets are best kept with the bearer

But if it lEAks out, just apologise and be a good person

... and accept the consequences of the lie (aka forgiveness or divorce)

Something are better left unsaid


Lalasticlala and Oga Mynd44 won't see such a thread.

It's better to say all the secrets, sooner or later, all hidden secrets will be revealed.

In my opinion, there are things that were better taken to the grave if you know it will hurt the other person.

there are others that you really have to bring out in the open... Eg, I heard of a man who does not want children, he performed surgery ... he got married without telling the wife what he has done... two years into the marriage, the wife started running from pillar to post from doctor A to doctor B.. eventually he came out clean to the wife.. she divorced him... on ground of deception and withholding of information.

nautybride:
Some issues are better left as secrets while some should be discussed.

Can you explain that better.
We need to know....I nee to know
Thanks

I saw a post on FB
The guy was about to get married...it was everywhere.
Just about some few weeks to his wedding...he hanged himself to the fan.
Everyone was worried...a lot of RIP every where. Then I started trailing the story based on the last note he wrote that wasn’t published
“Am sorry I made a big mistake and I didn’t tell you before now, now everyone knew what I am”

What could warrant this messages
One of the friends name withheld narrated that when they were all in boarding school, in the night they go to the farm and assault the female goats(animals) and one day they were all caught and expelled. This was long gone until one of the wife to be brother dig the hold of the past and accuse him openly and that's when hell got lose.

In this case is it had been better for this secret kept and swept under the carpet or tell the wife to be on before they started falling in to each other.

I tire ooo

Truthshurts:

Can you explain that better.
We need to know....I nee to know
Thanks

If it's a matter of life and death, especially health issues such as testing positive to life threatening diseases, it shouldn't be a secret.
When it comes to individual's family mess, please keep them to yourself if it won't affect your spouse.

Truthshurts:
I saw a post on FB
The guy was about to get married...it was everywhere.
Just about some few weeks to his wedding...he hanged himself to the fan.
Everyone was worried...a lot of RIP every where. Then I started trailing the story based on the last note he wrote that wasn’t published
“Am sorry I made a big mistake and I didn’t tell you before now, now everyone knew what I am”

What could warrant this messages
One of the friends name withheld narrated that when they were all in boarding school, in the night they go to the farm and assault the female goats(animals) and one day they were all caught and expelled. This was long gone until one of the wife to be brother dig the hold of the past and accuse him openly and that's when hell got lose.

In this case is it had been better for this secret kept and swept under the carpet or tell the wife to be on before they started falling in to each other.

I tire ooo

Some pasts should be briefed somewhat in manners such that when the partner hears of such, you can then break it down completely without hurting too much.
For example, dear I have done things in the past that I am not proud of, they won't in anyway affect our future........

Bola146:
It's better to say all the secrets, sooner or later, all hidden secrets will be revealed.

Fact!

frozen70:


Some secrets are best kept with the bearer

But if it licks out, just apologise and be a good person

But if it leaks out, just apologise and be a good person

I laugh at you... What makes you think it is that easy?..


Let me give you two scenarios.. You had a child before you got married and you refuse to tell your spouse.. So you think if he /she finds out.. You will just Apologies and everything will be back to normal.. Don't be naive!!

Second example, you have dated your spouse sister or brother before and you didn't inform them before getting married.. After marriage he or she discovers and you think they will be comfortable with you?

You guys should just be honest for once!!.. Once you tell a lie, you will have to tell a bigger lie to protect the lie... This doesn't pay

Richy4:
In my opinion, there are things that were better taken to the grave if you know it will hurt the other person.

there are others that you really have to bring out in the open... Eg, I heard of a man who does not want children, he performed surgery ... he got married without telling the wife what he has done... two years into the marriage, the wife started running from pillar to post from doctor A to doctor B.. eventually he came out clean to the wife.. she divorced him... on ground of deception and withholding of information.

In my opinion, there are things that were better taken to the grave if you know it will hurt the other person.


Ẹ. G

babyfaceafrica:


But if it licks out, just apologise and be a good person

I laugh at you... What makes you think it is that easy?..


Let me give you two scenarios.. You had a child before you got married and you refuse to tell your spouse.. So you think if he /she finds out.. You will just Apologies and everything will be back to normal.. Don't be naive!!

Second example, you have dated your spouse sister or brother before and you didn't inform them before getting married.. After marriage he or she discovers and you think they will be comfortable with you?

You guys should just be honest for once!!.. Once you tell a lie, you will have to tell a bigger lie to protect the lie... This doesn't pay

There will always be a good reason to keep some secret and there will always be lies to tell

Everyone has a secret even your best friend is not aware

If it get discovered, shoe remorse, apologise and promise to change from it

The major issue here is if you keep repeating same thing or one is stupid and clueless about it

frozen70:


There will always be a good reason to keep some secret and there will always be lies to tell

Everyone has a secret even your best friend is not aware

If it get discovered, shoe remorse, apologise and promise to change from it

The major issue here is if you keep repeating same thing or one is stupid and clueless about it

I beg to disagree.. There is no good reason to keep any vital secret from your husband /wife!!

And the Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one.


A marriage built on false foundations is bound fo fail no matter how long it last. Lies are very unhealthy for relationships..my wife will know all my exes, my health issues, family issues and the likes and I expect her to reciprocate. If she is not satisfied with this information, I expect her to leave before we get married. It is better we start on a clean slate. We'll to each his/own. I can't live the rest of my life with someone knowing there are things if she knows will cause problems... High BP is real. There is nothing hidden under the sun for ever

If it is a secret that you are sure could change the decision by the other party to marry you, then you must reveal it. Anything else would be marrying under false pretences.

RisenPhoenix:
If it is a secret that you are sure could change the decision by the other party to marry you, then you must reveal it. Anything else would be marrying under false pretences.

I agree totally... Some people have children before getting marriage and they will hide that fact from their spouse because if he or she might not agree!!.. Arrant rubbish!!.. Tell him or her.. If they don't agree let them leave.. You will see so one that will marry you with your kids...

Some ladies through abortion have damaged their wombs.. But they will hook one man without telling him their situation... People adopt kids for christ sake.. GEJ AND PEJ have adopted kids!!... IF you will lie, don't very lie to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.. It is wrong!

True and genuine love is needed here
Forgiveness
Understanding
Patience
Endurance
You can name them
The important thing is to have a good foundation that no matter what happens both parties will always fall back to their foundation
Let the truth be told
Invite
What someone will leave you for is what another will need to have you
Let the truth be told
Happy dundsy

babyfaceafrica:


I beg to disagree.. There is no good reason to keep any vital secret from your husband /wife!!

And the Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one.


A marriage built on false foundations is bound fo fail no matter how long it last. Lies are very unhealthy for relationships..my wife will know all my exes, my health issues, family issues and the likes and I expect her to reciprocate. If she is not satisfied with this information, I expect her to leave before we get married. It is better we start on a clean slate. We'll to each his/own. I can't live the rest of my life with someone knowing there are things if she knows will cause problems... High BP is real. There is nothing hidden under the sun for ever

I have a point and you too have a point

Am done with you

Some secrets are better left unsaid...

Lamanii22:
Some secrets are better left unsaid...

Like what secrets