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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My o my (2273 Views)
How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons / POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband / My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me (2) (3) (4)
Re: My o my by bukatyne(f): 8:22pm On Mar 05, 2020 |
Franzinni: What do you think causes problems in marriages? |
Re: My o my by rain21(f): 9:09pm On Mar 05, 2020 |
marriage is simply a relationship,it comes naturally.in years or decades to come we will definitely still see man and woman yearning to become one in spirit and in flesh. marriage is more of companionship, being best of friends and having a shoulder to lean on. As humans we all need that 'one' close person that we can share our secrets,pains and joy with,without being judged. we meet strangers and they turn friends and then more than friends_they practically become family to us.that is exactly the way marriage is,a bond/very close relationship. 1 Like |
Re: My o my by femarse: 10:43pm On Mar 05, 2020 |
Let's leave religion out of the equation cos it brings more confusion than clarity and most importantly, it's illogical First of all, marriage is not natural, how? Looking at the problem of political philosophy, how did we emerged into an organized society? What was existing before an organized society? We have state of nature which to some has been characterize with chaos and violence and one of the fundamental property of the state of nature is high birth rate as well as high mortality rate why? Women care for children alone without any help from men , men sleep with any woman they can see and over power (cos women are generally weak in that state with the exception of few)and after all left them to sort themselves out throughout pregnancy period and taking care of the baby alone and because of this porous situation , few children make it to adulthood, as they die in infancy for either lack of food or from disease But man naturally has a tendency to progress and it's from this naturality that has been proven over and over again that we come out of state of nature, we progress from snatching other people's food to growing our own , from no house to building thatch house to mud to brick(sign of progress) from sleeping with just any woman to start taking some women as your own and keeping them for good , from individualism to collectivism for the purpose of defense , and from a group of people to a society with leadership and here we come out of state of nature to an organize society Now just like most of human nature has progress , so is marriage , we progress from walking large distance to using horse to bicycle to cars and to planes , from bathing in the river to bathing at home , from no phone to phone , from post office to email, from canoe to steam boat, we are always progressing and so also is men keeping women as theirs permanently has progress and with much dispute here and there , each society in their own way has regulate this practice in ways best known to them Islam propose 4 women to one man Christianity propose one woman to one man and so many culture has their own rule concerning this matter ...this is how marriage has develop from man sleeping with any woman they can overpower to permanently keeping them Why will this practice continue ? Because it is also naturally for both man and woman to want to mate and mate they must ...however culture is a burden and when it refuse to change ....it becomes a limitation to progress and the way it has define the relationship between man and woman based on the prevalence idea of the past is straining to the current time, some marriage practice was enacted for a purpose that was necessary at some time in the past but no longer necessary in the current time ...eg bride price (which is still prevalence only in low income culture (African and Asian)to demonstrate their rufusal to progress out of that primitive practice Human are generally docile with little knowledge in the past which makes it easy for a man and woman to live together for a very long time , but with widespread knowledge and empowerment, advancement of the women folks , marriage in the traditional sense of husband been the king and wife been the subject no longer hold , development of human right and liberty, fight for women right , feminism, equality and the rest only show that marriage culture of men been the head is no longer fashionable and because this particular aspect of human refuse to progress or change much , most men grow up thinking they are the head of women leading to irreconcilable difference leading to divorce or chaotic environment It high time marige institution progress , it high time it stop seeing men as head , it high time it progress from that traditional cultural limitation to something mild ...if it does , relationship between men and women will improve leading to less divorce etc #myopinion 2 Likes |
Re: My o my by Franzinni: 7:18am On Mar 06, 2020 |
bukatyne:well in my humble opinion I feel most people who marry, marry with the destination in mind forgetting there is a journey and it is treacherous... We all see marriage as this wonderful thing where you have a partner and they will be your better half and all will be fine and dandy ...but that is far from the reality ... You will become a manager ...who manages the others expectations constantly.. One will also need to have a great deal of patience and understanding and the most of all is mutual respect ... Because if you truly respect someone ...you will find it difficult to wrong them ... |
Re: My o my by Myhaven: 10:03am On Mar 06, 2020 |
Op this is a beautiful thread 1 Like |
Re: My o my by Franzinni: 9:25pm On Mar 19, 2020 |
LordKO:well penned contribution here ... But your understanding of marriage is somewhat viewed from a perspective that seems almost wonderful and simply unrealistic... You see its not that I am not happy as it seems ... I am not happy with the idea... Of marriage because In my general experience in life ... Most couples deeply carry burdens that they don't want to bare but they just put up a façade. I am trying to be a realist here and say why marry if down the line your life will be miserable.. You might point out 100 symptoms but I am particular about the cure. If you marry and don't find love in that person anymore do you selflessly continue to love the person? Hence the reason why I said "wonderful but Unrealistic" 1 Like |
Re: My o my by Bj5all(m): 8:59am On Mar 20, 2020 |
Let's look at this from the origin of life, humans just like other animals on earth has basic needs: procreation, company, family among other things. Right from when humans hit puberty, there is a need for procreation. It's natural and there is nothing we can do to take that away. In the age past, marriage was not as structured as it is now, a man that marry as many wives as he wants and have as many children he desires. But as the world began to change, cost of living gets high, the need for formal education and taking care of family becomes expensive, it becomes difficult for men to have large family uncared for or for sake of control, no man wants to be irresponsible to have children here and there from different women or men that you are unable to care for In other to live up to the current life expectations of 21st century, a thinking human who wants to survive will have to look for a partner that both of them can survive together hence the end to look for a suitable partner. Humans has evoled, if I want to have fewer children and all from one partner, then natural selection has to come to place. I have to select somebody that both of us can live together. It's natural, it's animal instinct, the thing is humans are advanced animal. If you decide to choose a partner for temporary gain outside of the need for long tern survival then you are on your own and most likely the union will break. 1 Like |
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