Davash222:

How is she independent when she’s still living with a man
If she’s independent, let her divorce the man and rent a house for herself and her kids. That’s what I call independent.
She’s begging a man to accommodate her son and you’re claiming she’s independent.

You dey mind that mumu evening news paper?
Oyindindinrin

otorks01:
The best thing you can do for your kid is to find the relative of your forgotten husband and take the kids there or you sacrifice your existing marriage and go and take care of your kid, because if you look at the man angle also its not easy taking care of another man child when you are still struggling to take care of yours and you saying that since she pay 70% of the bill that she should leave, i believe you are not married because if you are you will know the woman has a big ego and gigantic pride, if you pay 70% why bring it here and i only pity the husband because there is always two sides to every story ,

Sure, I really pity that man

Expensiverichyb:
What are you saying? Didn't his husband knew about the children before he married her?

No single man will be happy taking care of any child of a woman out of wedlock.that is the fact It is a rare case in Africa. I advice those who have child out of wedlock and want to be happily married to seek a man who is divorced and have kids or who the wife is deceased.since both have kids they won’t have much issues except finances .

Expensiverichyb:

What if you happen to be the 12years old child? Would you still suggest boarding school because your mother is married to another man who don't want you in his house. Think carefully. What if it's you?

Of course
I don't like being a problem.

If the Bastąrd child was good, everyone won't be rejecting him.

Oyindidi:
I'll rather leave that Godforsaken marriage. My son stays with me or I leave that man

Lol
See frustration

Dexlomo:


He knew she had the son before marriage and accepted her with the baggage so your reasoning is shallow. He would get peace if he mans up and act like the man he should be.

That stupid line of "man up" has put many men in trouble. You should please steak it into your black smehlie ass and NEVER use it again.

[s]

yvelchstores:
sorry for all you are going through. I don't think it's fair on your part. Your husband is making babies through you, why do i say this? Because you already have a son and a daughter. This would not have been an issue if he accepted them as you both agreed! Now your son is about to be homeless! You were deceived by that man because I know no mother will accept this current situation. Since you foot70% of the bills, you would have been better off with your son and daughter alone. You chose marriage cos you don't want to be alone, now your son is almost homeless. You are bearing even more children for him, my own is this, PUT A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR DAUGHTER SO HE DOESNT EVER MOLEST HER. If her elder brother was in same house, she would have been protected. Madam, do something!

[/s]
Is this one okay?
Something is missing somewhere...
Rubbish

cococandy:
OP if not that you guys already have kids together I’d tell to divorce that man. It might be too much for your kids.

However in all honestly (unless he has a change of heart) you’re better honestly of without that man. How you want to achieve that is up to you.

I better be dead and rotten before a man comes between me and my child.

Dem force man for your head before?

Vyvyanvyvy:

You want me to take my child to the orphanage whyle I’m still alive and in good health? You must be joking . I rather be a single mother and suffer with my 4 children than rejecting my son.

Then what are you waiting for?
Madam 70%>>>

Vyvyanvyvy:

Thanks I will rather be alone with my children . I’m thinking of going there on Sunday to pick him up from my brother and I will let him do his worst. If he denied him access to the house then I’m ready to quit

Thank God

[s]

Sixfeetbelle:


I'm not debating the man taking care of someone else's kids. I even applaud him for doing so. Men rarely do that.

The problem here is that he initially agreed to accept the two and then changed his mind and accepted only one. Why? Do you see where people's opinion about this issue lies?

It reeks of suspicion.

See, the case would be better judged if he didn't accept either then everyone will be telling the woman to find where to send both kids and leave the marriage if the kids were her priority.

[/s]
This is even very unreasonable...

Vyvyanvyvy:

It took me almost 3 weeks because I was trying to compromise with my husband but he made up his mind that he doesn’t want to see him here so I also made up my mind to go and bring him this Sunday. Sunday it’s the best day because I don’t go to work and my brother and his family will also be at home and I want to thank and appreciate both of them for everything they did for him and leave with my son in peace

Madam, since you're the one that paid the rent, I'll suggest you rent another house and move out with your kids, let the man remain there and find his way when the rent expires, you can't tell him to move out just like that. With this his stance, he'll make that house a living hell for that poor boy and which will make this young boy to resent him, instead of the fatherly figure/bonding you sincerely craved for. You won't like the scenerio that'll likely play out. But if he reconciles with his conscience afterwards, he can join you as a family.

Jonathan:

Of course
I don't like being a problem.

If the Bastąrd child was good, everyone won't be rejecting him.

Look at the way you reffer to that innocent child. It's sad.

Legendguru:


No single man will be happy taking care of any child of a woman out of wedlock.that is the fact It is a rare case in Africa. I advice those who have child out of wedlock and want to be happily married to seek a man who is divorced and have kids or who the wife is deceased.since both have kids they won’t have much issues except finances .

you're right. Love is far from us anyway. So dishearten.

Vyvyanvyvy:

Yes you are right before I brought my problem here have already made up my mind to bring my son to the house this Sunday but I didn’t want to act fast so I decided to come here and seek opinions / advices from others too because is very important. My children are not my relative responsibility while I’m still alive it’s my duty to care and protect them myself nobody can take care of them better than me and if I die ( God forbid) I know my sister will never abandon my children the same way I will do for her kids if she is not around.

If you can read and assimilate,I never said you should leave your child with anybody but I am just suggesting that you should try and bridge the gap of issues you have with your man concerning your son. I don't know your husband but I know he have good conscience. From your many replies on this thread, I can only deduce you're relating the matter to him arrogantly because you're footing the bills.
Just try and make peace with him and you will never regret it.
My input is solely based on the aftermath of your predicament because I can see where this thing can lead to.

That boy is still young pls, he is not a thief am sure he wasn't given proper care which made him go about stealing. Just pray and beg your hubby him. If otherwise if you are financially cable go for your son if that boy graduate to be a thief with gun. He is going to kill you 1st.

Madam take him to his father or put him in boarding school or if you can bring him to kano there is school for stubborn children you will be paying the people monthly for feeding and you will provide clothes for him, no going outside the school premises they are all inside you keep him for more than 1 year for him to change e.t.c

Belafonte:


This is the entitlement we are talking about. How did her elder brother fail her? By refusing to house a thief? Do bear in mind that may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Why doesn’t she send the boy to his father, after all, he’s alive

Your idiocy is just something else, chai.na you brand the boy a thief, or na your money dem steal? Asinine.

@Op
I'm very very mad at you. I don't know a befitting negative adjective to qualify you. Infact if I can see u now in person I must really really deal with you. Id.iot you want the innocent man to accept a thief that even your siblings rejected. God punish you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCEytjwjG6A

Jonathan:

Of course
I don't like being a problem.

If the Bastąrd child was good, everyone won't be rejecting him.

Hey guys, this person's moniker has "daft" inside.

No need replying daft people.

If you reply with the rubbish and e sure for you, drop address so I can send beating your way.

Xkale1234:
Madam take him to his father or put him in boarding school or if you can bring him to kano there is school for stubborn children you will be paying the people monthly for feeding and you will provide clothes for him, no going outside the school premises they are all inside you keep him for more than 1 year for him to change e.t.c

What have your school done for all the useless almajiri born throway in Kano?

unimagin:
@Op
I'm very very mad at you. I don't know a befitting negative adjective to qualify you. Infact if I can see u now in person I must really really deal with you. Id.iot you want the innocent man to accept a thief that even your siblings rejected. God punish you

Even this useless single father raising a bàstard is also talking.

God also punish you and that your born throway.

MyChoice1:


Tears are flowing freely down my cheeks by just imagining the pain and trauma you and that boy are going through. That boy is the sacrificial lamb here, a hero I must say. He was shipped off to a relative, away from the love and warmth of his mother and kid sister he has been used to at a very tender age, just to accommodate a total stranger of a husband. Things improved yet his mum failed to come and take him back �. The husband that took the rightful place of this young chap is forming King Kong all of a sudden without considerable financial commitment or improving the emotional well-being of the family. He's popping out more babies! What's the joy in this union? wetin you gain sef?
When you get to that house on Sunday, please rush to your son and give him warm embrace, tightly with tears in your eyes and ask him to forgive you. Don't give room to anyone even your brother to talk ill about him because it's you that failed the boy..12yrs only. He's my first child, a son too agemate and I can just imagine how I still see him as a baby. Thank your brother and his wife for being charitable all these while. Take your son home to where he rightfully belong, and make it clear to your husband that you can't tolerate any hostility towards the boy. Love begets love! Don't send him to any boarding school, let him bond and blend with him family. Be prayerful and be vigilant. God bless you �

. Am really feeling for the boy such a tender age passing through all this just because of the wrong steps you have taken in life

Coolabbie:
All this long thesis not one single like.

It must be filled with nonsense then.
I jump and pass

If u write and live for likes then u must be more stupid than I thought. I shit u not, dolt

Psoul:


You are bn emotional. The man was bn rational. You can't solve this problem by bn emotional.

There's nothing rational about rendering a 12 year old homeless and separated from his mother.
It's a pity you see it as being rational in a Nigerian society.
A real shame, and I truly weep for my nation.
In saner climes, it's not even debatable.
Little wonder we remain a developing nation with our kind of mindset toward children.

Vyvyanvyvy:

Yes you are right before I brought my problem here have already made up my mind to bring my son to the house this Sunday but I didn’t want to act fast so I decided to come here and seek opinions / advices from others too because is very important. [b][/b]My children are not my relative responsibility while I’m still alive it’s my duty to care and protect them myself [b][/b]nobody can take care of them better than me and if I die ( God forbid) I know my sister will never abandon my children the same way I will do for her kids if she is not around.

You are right about that..
I wish you had this same energy before agreeing to marry a man and thereafter giving your child out to be raised by others.
Pls, take your duties and responsibilities towards your children seriously.
That boy is your flesh and blood, so pay close attention to him and his wants.

Kiezodumah:

If u write and live for likes then u must be more stupid than I thought. I shit u not, dolt

E pain am well well

Nonsense writer

eyinjuege:


Do you also excuse step moms who are wicked to the children of their husbands from another woman?
That is also very painful , you know.

No they don’t. Someone like Franchasng will be right on time to type epistle on how 99.9142% of black women are wicked. The tiny percentage that made it out of that set are his family members- wife, sister and mother.

HMMMMM FOR EVERYBODY TO SAY NO THE GUY MUST BE STUBBORN OR NOT A GOOD BOY

[quote author=merahki post=87417418]


I am responding to your first sentence.
Her husband is decidedly NOT a good man
I couldn’t and didn’t read the rest of your post because your first wrong sentence has spoilt everything.
Cheers[/quote
Its OK, most pipu here advised divorce and I av a feeling that you r strongly considering and its all good, doesn't mean ur husband is not going to have a good life.. If u call him a bad man coz he is unwilling to clear d mess u n anoda man made den so be it..

OP abi na vyvyanvyvy you call yourself
you better take your son under your care and raise him yourself if you don't want to be unfortunate in this life, oloshi
Omo oloshi jati jati
Foolish woman

Your stupid decisions in life and spreading your legs for a guy you are not married to is now making a small boy of 12 resort to stealing because he can't get food to eat and your dumbass is still here asking questions about what to do to the boy

I wish I can see you and beat sense into your ashawo block head with strong koboko


I don't even believe that talk about you don't know the family of your baby daddy, I think you have a vendetta against him and have decided to separate him from his children like your fellow ashawo tonto dike

Better start taking care of your son like a normal mother instead of coming to ask mumu questions on nairaland

Omo radarada
Foolish woman subjecting her son to maltreatment because she no get one single sense.