Expensiverichyb:
So the poor boy should die? Even if hid biological father does not care, can't there be any man who can love his mother and also love him alitte? Nija guys. I greet una.

Nobody is saying that the boy should be allowed to die.
The issue is about someone taking up a responsibility that is not his while he still has his own responsibilities pilled up for him.
Secondly, ppl that are more closer to this kid have all refused to have anything to do with him.

My point is that the woman should not present it as if the solution lies only on the money she will give to send the boy to school.
There are more important thing to talk with the man. Then when she is able to convince the man, she can then be telling him not to worry, that she will try as much as she can to see that she provides for the boys school fees.

Psoul:


My brother sit down quietly biko.
What are u even talking about
Every little thing pple will be shouting "if it's in a saner clime"
Which of the saner climes have u bn to to know exactly hw things are done there or is it cos of what u watch in those movies.
So in those ur saner climes, it is a law that a man must take in a child that does not belong to him. Mtchewwwww

All these rant is just cos u are not the one involved. If u are involved, ur thinking will be different from the way u are thinking now.
Ppl tend to be very emotional and sympathetic when the supposed help is not going to come from them directly. Once, they are involve, you see them coming up wt some certain logic.

How many times have u seen all these little children begging on the road and u take one of them home, Don't you feel pity for them?
Will heaven fall if u take any of them home?

don't mind the small boys.

Which whiteman will even agree to take in 2 kids from a woman he is marrying Many whitemen will request to sign an agreement on how the woman's kids will be catered for; how much extra money the woman will be bringing to cater for the extra kids she is bringing in, they will agree and reach a terms before getting married.


Many young white guys won't even accept it, only the older white men with kids can. I don't know how they think things work abroad

Psoul:


Nobody is saying that the boy should be allowed to die.
The issue is about someone taking up a responsibility that is not his while he still has his own responsibilities pilled up for him.
Secondly, ppl that are more closer to this kid have all refused to have anything to do with him.

My point is that the woman should not present it as if the solution lies only on the money she will give to send the boy to school.
There are more important thing to talk with the man. Then when she is able to convince the man, she can then be telling him not to worry, that she will try as much as she can to see that she provides for the boys school fees.

lol that is how all women promise to bring in billions to assist their husbands na lol, audio money, wait for their money and die wretched and hungry



She can only bring the so called peanut money for like one month at most and every expenses will fall back to the man by default or indirectly lol, and if the man ever questions why the weekly or monthly upkeep allowance no longer meets the family's needs, he will be reminded of how much $ is exchanged in the black market and how BuharI and bad economy has made price of commodity to increase in the market, all because madam have added her son's extra living cost to the family upkeep, fear women lol


And another thing that will happen is that the woman will knowingly or unknowingly shift most of her attention, love, care to her son because women are biologically wired to want to fix broken things, that is why they fall easily for bad guys that womanize a lot cos they want to change him and win the prize

Davash222:

Poco will always condemn men. It’s in her trait.

and take it from me, she will not joke with her husband, in fact her type will die for their hubby, I know what I am saying....the guy will be over pampered with love and respect, that is why you must not take a woman's words seriously cos they say A and do B.

Always pay attention to what a woman does or will do, don't listen to what she said she will do

Psoul:


My brother sit down quietly biko.
What are u even talking about
Every little thing pple will be shouting "if it's in a saner clime"
Which of the saner climes have u bn to to know exactly hw things are done there or is it cos of what u watch in those movies.
So in those ur saner climes, it is a law that a man must take in a child that does not belong to him. Mtchewwwww

All these rant is just cos u are not the one involved. If u are involved, ur thinking will be different from the way u are thinking now.
Ppl tend to be very emotional and sympathetic when the supposed help is not going to come from them directly. Once, they are involve, you see them coming up wt some certain logic.

How many times have u seen all these little children begging on the road and u take one of them home, Don't you feel pity for them?
Will heaven fall if u take any of them home?

I have lived abroad for several years now.

This is the 2nd Western country I will be living in.

It's obvious many of you are filled with wickedness in Nigeria.

There is a reason you still remain developing, and things cannot improve in nigeria with the kind of mindsets you hold.

A big difference between developed and developing countries is in the way they generally treat their children. The indices are there for us all to see.

You treat children as if they are not human.
Who cares about the perspective of the husband? Is his perspective going to stop a child from being homeless?

I have a young child staying with me now for the past 3 days , brought in by social services over something so trivial but the police have to investigate it.

If you maltreat any child abroad, all the children around you whether yours or your sister's will be taken away from you. If you can maltreat one child, you are not safe to have others around you.
If you're wicked, others shouldnt support you and that's why I will give it to the whiteman someone mentioned up there. Your wickedness will not be condoned by others. This wouldn't have even been a debate at all, when the answer is so clear

franchasng:
and take it from me, she will not joke with her husband, in fact her type will die for their hubby, I know what I am saying....the guy will be over pampered with love and respect, that is why you must not take a woman's words seriously cos they say A and do B.

Always pay attention to what a woman does or will do, don't listen to what she said she will do

You’re only trying to patronize her here. Poco, will always joke with her husband. She doesn’t have anything like love for any man. Short girls are something else, so is poco.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Husband and I had a heated arguments only because he had seen a conversation I had earlier with my sister she was telling me not to neglect my son because of him and she is in support of me to go and pick him up this Sunday and I told her not to worry my son will come and stay in the house the same way as his siblings so he got angry that I went against him and still want to bring him over he was saying a lot of bad things about my son which made me raged and I told him my son is important than him If he doesn’t want him he is free to leave me I will manage okay with my children have said a lot of harsh things because he made me angry so he took his car key and left the house since 11 something pm and is still not yet back and I regret the harsh things that have said to him but he also deserved it for talking bad about my son a innocent 11 years old and I decided not to check on him or apologise. I’m tired of everything I don’t want to die of bp why can’t we just live in peace with all the children instead of him causing problems for me without thinking about my condition

Don't ever be provoked to use harsh words on your husband. You should apologize please. Yes he failed you by not meeting up on your agreements, but he has good intentions. I'm just concerned about the boy because i have seen many of this kind of situation. I hope this will teach single fathers and single mothers to be more circumspect in taking marriage decisions, especially when kids are still young. Do all you can to keep your marriage. There are other lives involved here. I was going to suggest you involve a respected elder in the family to talk to your husband, but it appears he won't agree willingly or happily and that may also affect the boy's integration in the house. How i wish he would see it as an opportunity to do something great which not many people would do. He's already on it. Encourage him. Don't get carried away by the fact that you are financially independent. Sorry if you answered this somewhere in the thread, have you met his father's family to discuss the challenges with them and appeal for help? I was reluctant to suggest this earlier because you are in the best position to reform that child and he may not fare better with the father's family or even with a step mother. If however they can give him a home, you will then increase your presence around him and in his life. Someone made a suggestion about adoption. As strange as it sounds, i can assure you there are decent, successful families around that will be willing to take the boy in, and foster him. I wish you and your husband well in your decisions.

Davash222:

You’re only trying to patronize her here. Poco, will always joke with her husband. She doesn’t have anything like love for any man. Short girls are something else, so is poco.

not true bra. See, I once dated a chick that is very popular on Facebook to the extent any of her post gets nothing less than 500 - 1000 comments from both male and female, and she is well known for attacking men, calling men dogs, saying Nigerian married men don't deserve respect or fidelity because they cheat and treat women anyhow.



But behind those rants, is a lovely, sexy, calm, respectful chick who does everything to make me happy

Sometimes when I go through her FB posts and the comments and the fights with guys and how other ladies support her, I will just be wondering if it's the same girl I was dating lol

The only thing she says online that is true about her offline is that she is a snub, and a bit prideful sha which were part of the reasons I left. Also, she doesn't respect her older male siblings from my little observations, and I wasn't cool with that

franchasng:
I think it's better she divorce her husband and rent an apartment and go take her child and live with him, that should be the best thing to do

This is one reason guys don't marry single mothers; what if the father of the child have a bad blood trait running through the child; like stealing, etc, that's how you will end up carrying a thief as stepchild, it's not as easy as you ladies think, and reason ladies must be careful with how and who they get pregnant for.

Dear ladies...

Good, it's advisable she leaves the man and focus on her children.

Men DO marry single mothers (example is OP's husband). Nobody bribes or forces them to, they CHOOSE to. That's why it is completely absurd to refuse a single mother to have custody of her child knowing fully well she's a mum before marrying her. OP's husband is even worse, why promising to raise her kids as his when he knew he couldn't?

Labelling the boy a thief is very unfair. His stealing of food was circumstantial, something he probably wouldn't have done is he was not in an hostile environment. This is why he needs his mother now more than ever.

franchasng:
don't mind the small boys.

Which whiteman will even agree to take in 2 kids from a woman he is marrying Many whitemen will request to sign an agreement on how the woman's kids will be catered for; how much extra money the woman will be bringing to cater for the extra kids she is bringing in, they will agree and reach a terms before getting married.


Many young white guys won't even accept it, only the older white men with kids can. I don't know how they think things work abroad

You tell lies.
Blended families are nothing new to the whiteman.
It's something I see everyday in my line of work, where a white woman has all her 3 children living with her new partner with their own 2 children.
I see such scenarios more times than I can count.
There is an old man I recently saw, who is very sick and I was surprised to see his children (who are older than me by far) looking after him.
The children are also all grown (over 40 years) living in their own places with their own families but they left all, to alternate looking after their father. He had 2 white sons and a daughter.
What was shocking to me was to realise this black man (Carribean black) had white children looking after him. His children were white and he was a full black man.
They were washing him up, feeding him, changing him. Infact, you can palpate how troubling the family felt as they are losing the man they've called father all their life. The older son was most visibly affected as you could see the tears in his eyes and even his voice when talking to you.
It was the family pictures in his home that explained a lot as I was initially confused hearing them keep saying dad and seeing it could not be biologically so.
I saw his wedding pictures as a young man, married to a white lady.
I saw pictures of these white children when they were young growing up with this black man, laughing, playing and going on several holidays. He was their dad and that's what they called him. He raised them and they would do anything for him. Their mother died long ago, and he continued to raise them as his.

.

eyinjuege:


I have lived abroad for several years now.

This is the 2nd Western country I will be living in.

It's obvious many of you are filled with wickedness in Nigeria.

There is a reason you still remain developing, and things cannot improve in nigeria with the kind of mindsets you hold.

A big difference between developed and developing countries is in the way they generally treat their children. The indices are there for us all to see.

You treat children as if they are not human.
Who cares about the perspective of the husband? Is his perspective going to stop a child from being homeless?

I have a young child staying with me now for the past 3 days , brought in by social services over something so trivial but the police have to investigate it.

If you maltreat any child abroad, all the children around you whether yours or your sister's will be taken away from you. If you can maltreat one child, you are not safe to have others around you.
If you're wicked, others shouldnt support you and that's why I will give it to the whiteman someone mentioned up there. Your wickedness will not be condoned by others. This wouldn't have even been a debate at all, when the answer is so clear

My brother and I have also lived in the western world and I can tell you that no whiteman will accept a child that is not his if they didn't agree initially that the child will join them, and no western law states that a child will be forced on a man to cater for even when the child is not his.


As much as I love kids, we must understand the op's husbands stand on this situation. Only few men will take that boy in with the negative reports already on him. The most difficult time to raise boys is 11 and above, and girls 16 - 24.

The man isn't maltreating any child, he is only saying no that he cannot cater for extra child and no law anywhere in the world will force a child on him when the child is not even his biological child. What western law does is to take the child away from you if you maltreat the child and not force a child on you, no western law does that sir

franchasng:
My brother and I have also lived in the western world and I can tell you that no whiteman will accept a child that is not his if they didn't agree initially that the child will join them, and no western law states that a child will be forced on a man to cater for even when the child is not his.


As much as I love kids, we must understand the op's husbands stand on this situation. Only few men will take that boy in with the negative reports already on him. The most difficult time to raise boys is 11 and above, and girls 16 - 24.

The man isn't maltreating any child, he is only saying no that he cannot cater for extra child and no law anywhere in the world will force a child on him when the child is not even his biological child. What western law does is to take the child away from you if you maltreat the child and not force a child on you, no western law does that sir

The child should be with the mother and the western laws support that wholeheartedly. If the man is unhappy about it, he can move out and continue to be responsible for his own children with their mother.
It's as simple as that

jelel6:
Please, for all the guys here who are apparently sympathetic to the Husband, I have a question for you...

How can a man marry a mother of two little kids who are not adults yet and NEEDS TO stay with their mom, would be so ungentlemanly after marriage to request a boy of 12 years begins looking for a relative to stay with whilst his mother is alive, well and capable to look after them?

I'm sure the woman lived with her son and daughter before the husband met them, why marry the mother only to push her son away? Why ask a woman to push her son away because of you?

Things took a hit financially, so you agree with the mother to take the boy to relatives pending improve conditions. Afterwards, the reasonable thing to do is to ask the boy back as soon as things improved. Common!

How can a man feel OKAY when his "marriage" separates his wife and her son?

If a husband CANNOT accept the children of his wife as his partial responsibility due to marriage, how can he then expect any relative whatsoever, to accept the children? Who can be closer to a child than a mom and a step-father?

Original poster @Vyvyanvyvy, if you were my sister, I'd be baffled as to why you'd marry a man who would refuse to allow a small boy stay with you guys. He cannot stay alone. Your husband's excuse that he will influence the girls negatively is simply some fake bullshiit I'd expect from an unthoughtful person.

If that boy were his, do you think he'll send him off to his own brother and leave him there because he's supposedly stealing #100 and biscuits? No! He'll never give up on his OWN CHILD. His own child will never run out of chances.

Besides, a 12 year old boy stealing is NOTHING NEW. Majority of boys did worse growing up. I Stole moms stuff too when I was younger. Majority of the guys or girls, men and women you see commenting here STOLE THINGS if they will be honest with you. But now is the time to straighten your son out. But you can only be sure the best training can be giving if he's with you.

In my short time existing, I've felt real pains when I see how some people treat their relatives who are not part of the immediate family.

I'd be honest to say I myself will not be keen to take in a relative who's not immediate nuclear family, that's the heart. But if I do (which is possible in all ramifications), I'm SURE I'll be Fair and just with them. So you'd understand me when I say I'll NEVER MARRY a woman who can't be fair with my wards. Even if she brought home that said relative, She must be fair and kind to them. And I'm ready to divorce them one after the other if need be.

Reason with your husband with respect and understanding. If he's still adamant, say your brother threatened to throw your son out so you have no other options than to go and bring him with you. If he's still insisting that NEVER means NEVER, I think you can be rest assured he's laying down the ultimate ultimatum, in no uncertain terms:

Son or Hubby? Choose!

On the bolded, you are 100% correct, the man is totally wrong. If he knew he couldn't take the heat why go close to the kitchen

He shouldn't have married the single mother at all if we are to be honest


Another reason single guys and men reading must think it thoroughly before marrying a single mother; hope you will be willing to marry the child along with the mother and not cry fowl tomorrow Before you marry any single mother ask yourself this vital question oh

franchasng:
not true bra. See, I once dated a chick that is very popular on Facebook to the extent any of her post gets nothing less than 500 - 1000 comments from both male and female, and she is well known for attacking men, calling men dogs, saying Nigerian married men don't deserve respect or fidelity because they cheat and treat women anyhow.



But behind those rants, is a lovely, sexy, calm, respectful chick who does everything to make me happy

Sometimes when I go through her FB posts and the comments and the fights with guys and how other ladies support her, I will just be wondering if it's the same girl I was dating lol

The only thing she says online that is true about her offline is that she is a snub, and a bit prideful sha which were part of the reasons I left. Also, she doesn't respect her older male siblings from my little observations, and I wasn't cool with that

The last line is typical of poco. I believe that your girl is short. That’s how short girls behave. Even michellekabod2 can’t be exempted.
They’re only lovely when they’re excited.

eyinjuege:


The child should be with the mother and the western laws support that wholeheartedly. If the man is unhappy about it, he can move out and continue to be responsible for his own children with their mother.
It's as simple as that

Yes that's true, you are right. The law supports that if the mother was given the legal right to be with the child (have custody) after separation or divorce with her first husband, which brings us to the question: where is the child's father in all these This question must be answered if we are to go the western way

eyinjuege:


I have lived abroad for several years now.

This is the 2nd Western country I will be living in.

It's obvious many of you are filled with wickedness in Nigeria.

There is a reason you still remain developing, and things cannot improve in nigeria with the kind of mindsets you hold.

A big difference between developed and developing countries is in the way they generally treat their children. The indices are there for us all to see.

You treat children as if they are not human.
Who cares about the perspective of the husband? Is his perspective going to stop a child from being homeless?

I have a young child staying with me now for the past 3 days , brought in by social services over something so trivial but the police have to investigate it.

If you maltreat any child abroad, all the children around you whether yours or your sister's will be taken away from you. If you can maltreat one child, you are not safe to have others around you.
If you're wicked, others shouldnt support you and that's why I will give it to the whiteman someone mentioned up there. Your wickedness will not be condoned by others. This wouldn't have even been a debate at all, when the answer is so clear

You are not making any sense to me at all.
Nobody is talking about maltreating a child here. I don't know how you ppl even managed to pass exams if u can't comprehend simple things like this issue. Maltreating a child is quite different from a man not accepting to take in a boy that is not his child and of which the mother of the child cannot give account of where the father is nor will any of the woman's relative want to have anything to do with the child accused of bn a thief.

I am even wondering the kind of fake Western countries u have bn living in. If you actually lived any of those "saner climes" according to you, I believe you should be reasoning better than this.

Here, we are talking of a woman bringing extra responsibility to a man in his house. A child that is not urs and you need to take care of him and be responsible for his actions till he becomes an adult. Meanwhile, the boy in question has a dent to his name.

As someone that lives in a western country, you want to tell me that a whiteman will readily accept that responsibility?
You want to tell me that the white man will not want to involve the services of a lawyer into this to draft terms and conditions and spell out how that will be handled if at all he was able to be convinced to take in the boy?

This ur western world get as e be ooo.

Davash222:

The last line is typical of poco. I believe that your girl is short. That’s how short girls behave. Even michellekabod2 can’t be exempted.
They’re only lovely when they’re excited.

lol, she wasn't short, 5ft7 is an average height for ladies. And how did you know poco is short lol.


I don't think character has anything to do with height bra, and by the way, no lady is short to me so long as she has good buttocks, flat tummy, average standing boobs not big, then she is good to go

Remove eyes from ladies' height, it doesn't matter in the oza room

franchasng:
lol that is how all women promise to bring in billions to assist their husbands na lol, audio money, wait for their money and die wretched and hungry



She can only bring the so called peanut money for like one month at most and every expenses will fall back to the man by default or indirectly lol, and if the man ever questions why the weekly or monthly upkeep allowance no longer meets the family's needs, he will be reminded of how much $ is exchanged in the black market and how BuharI and bad economy has made price of commodity to increase in the market, all because madam have added her son's extra living cost to the family upkeep, fear women lol


And another thing that will happen is that the woman will knowingly or unknowingly shift most of her attention, love, care to her son because women are biologically wired to want to fix broken things, that is why they fall easily for bad guys that womanize a lot cos they want to change him and win the prize

Don't mind them. When you are involved, you will reason differently.
Everyone is blaming the man cos he said no.
Had it bn that the man accepted, they will be the same ppl calling the man names.
Telling him that he is an asslicker, woman wrapper, not man enough and how can a full grown man accept such a thing.

franchasng:
don't mind the small boys.

Which whiteman will even agree to take in 2 kids from a woman he is marrying Many whitemen will request to sign an agreement on how the woman's kids will be catered for; how much extra money the woman will be bringing to cater for the extra kids she is bringing in, they will agree and reach a terms before getting married.

Many young white guys won't even accept it, only the older white men with kids can. I don't know how they think things work abroad

Yeah because Cesc Fabregas, Matt Damon, Chris Daughtry etc are all black African men

franchasng:
Honestly some men deserve a big accolade and I mean diamond award because they are trying. No matter how good I am, there is a limit to what I can do, I cannot marry a single mother with a child talk more of 2 children, even if she is an angel, the fact that she has 2 children from another man will not allow me see the goodness in her to the extent of marrying her.


Op should not destroy her new marriage with her own hands, I know it hurts but honestly the man cannot bear it and it's quite understandable to me.


Pocohantas I hope you read the op's story before condemning the man The op had 2 kids before her husband married her and she wants the new husband to happily accept the 2 kids as his, that's marrying 3 persons at once, which man can accept that Biologically men are not wired to be that way lol

Of course, I know you will type another epistle to rationalize it. But women are biologically wired to accept step-kids and other people’s children.

Your hypocrisy right in your face!

Have a nice day.

Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee

Believe me that ur son is not a bad son he needs u around him pet and be begging ur husband to accept him.and the fault may come from u by telling ur husband abt the behavior of ur son atimes we need to keep quiet in some issues.

franchasng:
don't mind the small boys.

Which whiteman will even agree to take in 2 kids from a woman he is marrying Many whitemen will request to sign an agreement on how the woman's kids will be catered for; how much extra money the woman will be bringing to cater for the extra kids she is bringing in, they will agree and reach a terms before getting married.


Many young white guys won't even accept it, only the older white men with kids can. I don't know how they think things work abroad

Can you imagine what the boy was vomiting. I wonder how some ppl reason oo.
Whiteman this, whiteman that.

It's Africans that are very sympathetic. The whites lack that. They can only do it when laws demand they do it, but Africans will take up responsibilities that have nothing to do with dem.

If the man says no, that he doesn't want to bring that boy to his house especially as the boy was accused of bn a thief, they should not condemn him. They only need to try to talk the man into seeing reasons with them.

delishpot:


Yinmu! The hypocrisy in this earth that leads many Nigerians to hell. If those were the man's kids and he makes thus post complaining of his wife not wanting his kids it's still same hypocritical enemies of man's soul that will call her all kinds of unprintable names. But now that a woman needs a home for her son, you hypocrites will not accept that her child is like his own child and should be treated with love and care.

Franchasng to be very specific. The identifier of wicked women.

Can any of these guys swear they won’t tell us how 99.315% of women would never love a child that is not theirs if tables were turned?

Disgusting hypocrites. Spits*

dominique:


Yeah because Cesc Fabregas, Matt Damon, Chris Daughtry etc are all black African men

go and check, there must be well documented agreement on how those extra kids will be catered for, and the whereabouts of their biological fathers must be known and his stand legally defined.

The op hasn't for once talked about her sons father, his stand, etc


No western law my sister forces a child on a man when the child is not his biological child, I have lived in western world to know a little about it even though I have not had any child care related issue to know much though, but from the little I know, the man cannot be forced to take in the child if he doesn't want, unless he signed to take in the child when they were getting married and turned around now to say no, which will lead to legal settlement not verbal talks

franchasng:
lol, she wasn't short, 5ft7 is an average height for ladies. And how did you know poco is short lol.


I don't think character has anything to do with height bra, and by the way, no lady is short to me so long as she has good buttocks, flat tummy, average standing boobs not big, then she is good to go

Remove eyes from ladies' height, it doesn't matter in the oza room

Lol
Poco is very short. She even escaped dwarfism. I've seen her photos here. But, she's well endowed at the backside, though it's normal with short girls.

pocohantas:


Franchasng to be very specific. The identifier of wicked women.

Can any of these guys swear they won’t tell us how 99.315% of women would never love a child that is not theirs if tables were turned?

Disgusting hypocrites. Spits*

hahahahahahahaha i don suffer

Psoul:



You are not making any sense to me at all.
Nobody is talking about maltreating a child here. I don't know how you ppl even managed to pass exams if u can't comprehend simple things like this issue. Maltreating a child is quite different from a man not accepting to take in a boy that is not his child and of which the mother of the child cannot give account of where the father is nor will any of the woman's relative want to have anything to do with the child accused of bn a thief.

I am even wondering the kind of fake Western countries u have bn living in. If you actually lived any of those "saner climes" according to you, I believe you should be reasoning better than this.

Here, we are talking of a woman bringing extra responsibility to a man in his house. A child that is not urs and you need to take care of him and be responsible for his actions till he becomes an adult. Meanwhile, the boy in question has a dent to his name.

As someone that lives in a western country, you want to tell me that a whiteman will readily accept that responsibility?
You want to tell me that the white man will not want to involve the services of a lawyer into this to draft terms and conditions and spell out how that will be handled if at all he was able to be convinced to take in the boy?

This ur western world get as e be ooo.

It shows your level of exposure and you have had no interaction with a white man. No white man will employ the services of a lawyer ( which will probably be more expensive than having the boy stay in his home) to draft up any agreement.
How much food does the boy want to eat in his childhood? How much clothes does he want to wear? The law understand the parents of the boy should provide this, and in this case it's the mother. She has a responsibility to provide his food, clothing, shelter, education. Who do you want that responsibility to go to? The father is not in the country, so no court can force him to have shared custody. Is it not a person you see that you can talk of custody with?
There will even be no need of convincing anything, in the western country. It's non negotiable for you to ask the woman not to bring in her child to her residence.
The law doesn't care about your ego, or your other responsibilities. The child needs a home and his parent should provide that. Simple. Unless she gives him up for adoption, and them he becomes someone else's child

Oyindidi:
You love the mother but you no want her son in your house. Yeye husband

God bless you.yeyeish husband indeed.who knows tomorrow.

eldest:


You are wrong
In this case now you might have to choose between your son and your husband which is an experience you might never want to have.
I believe you should give your husband some time, treat him nice and beg him, he might consider

The child's future is more important than the man's ego. I prioritize children any day anytime.

Davash222:

Lol
Poco is very short. She even escaped dwarfism. I've seen her photos here. But, she's well endowed at the backside, though it's normal with short girls.

ah for real


Then she is good to go if she has flat tummy and firm average boobs, fine face amd height are not relevant, unfortunately I am married, and an attempt to marry 2 exposed ladies will turn my home to hiroshima of 1945 , maybe an unexposed local chick will complete the squad

Your son is 12. You left him at 9. The boy has been maltreated and is so hungry he had to steal food! As his only parent (mother for that matter) you have caused him great pain and the trauma will define him for a long time. A mother is intrinsically believed to be the most support and love a child can feel. It was a big mistake to allow your husband to send him away, with a paltry excuse of accommodation.

Now he doesn't want him to harm his children? That boy is about to be homeless and you as a mother can even consider your husband's opinion over a child you bore? One day you will regret this. Your son is dealing with serious rejection.

You are paying 70% of the bills with a man that cannot love you enough to see your child as his own? And you can bare to look at him because he made you a married woman? Do you know that that boy would have grown up to take care of you?

I'm a mother and can't imagine the pain that child is going through, and i could die for my children.

You want to know what to do? Might not be popular but go to your son. Reduce expenses and care for him. That one act will save his life. Your husband can either join or move on.

P/s: I know a Nigerian man who is caring for six children, only three are his own. They bare his name, and he's making all these sacrifices because he loves his wife. Don't act like he did you a favor marrying you. Save your son. He is not a bad boy. He is psychologically pained and rejected and very very scared.

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.