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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us (95226 Views)
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Psoul(m): 7:02am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Expensiverichyb: Nobody is saying that the boy should be allowed to die. The issue is about someone taking up a responsibility that is not his while he still has his own responsibilities pilled up for him. Secondly, ppl that are more closer to this kid have all refused to have anything to do with him. My point is that the woman should not present it as if the solution lies only on the money she will give to send the boy to school. There are more important thing to talk with the man. Then when she is able to convince the man, she can then be telling him not to worry, that she will try as much as she can to see that she provides for the boys school fees. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:02am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul:don't mind the small boys. Which whiteman will even agree to take in 2 kids from a woman he is marrying ![]() Many young white guys won't even accept it, only the older white men with kids can. I don't know how they think things work abroad ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:09am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul:lol that is how all women promise to bring in billions to assist their husbands na lol, audio money, wait for their money and die wretched and hungry ![]() She can only bring the so called peanut money for like one month at most and every expenses will fall back to the man by default or indirectly lol, and if the man ever questions why the weekly or monthly upkeep allowance no longer meets the family's needs, he will be reminded of how much $ is exchanged in the black market and how BuharI and bad economy has made price of commodity to increase in the market, all because madam have added her son's extra living cost to the family upkeep, fear women lol And another thing that will happen is that the woman will knowingly or unknowingly shift most of her attention, love, care to her son because women are biologically wired to want to fix broken things, that is why they fall easily for bad guys that womanize a lot cos they want to change him and win the prize ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:16am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Davash222:and take it from me, she will not joke with her husband, in fact her type will die for their hubby, I know what I am saying....the guy will be over pampered with love and respect, that is why you must not take a woman's words seriously cos they say A and do B. Always pay attention to what a woman does or will do, don't listen to what she said she will do ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 7:17am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul: I have lived abroad for several years now. This is the 2nd Western country I will be living in. It's obvious many of you are filled with wickedness in Nigeria. There is a reason you still remain developing, and things cannot improve in nigeria with the kind of mindsets you hold. A big difference between developed and developing countries is in the way they generally treat their children. The indices are there for us all to see. You treat children as if they are not human. Who cares about the perspective of the husband? Is his perspective going to stop a child from being homeless? I have a young child staying with me now for the past 3 days , brought in by social services over something so trivial but the police have to investigate it. If you maltreat any child abroad, all the children around you whether yours or your sister's will be taken away from you. If you can maltreat one child, you are not safe to have others around you. If you're wicked, others shouldnt support you and that's why I will give it to the whiteman someone mentioned up there. Your wickedness will not be condoned by others. This wouldn't have even been a debate at all, when the answer is so clear 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Davash222(m): 7:20am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng:You’re only trying to patronize her here. Poco, will always joke with her husband. She doesn’t have anything like love for any man. Short girls are something else, so is poco. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by janvier27(m): 7:21am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Don't ever be provoked to use harsh words on your husband. You should apologize please. Yes he failed you by not meeting up on your agreements, but he has good intentions. I'm just concerned about the boy because i have seen many of this kind of situation. I hope this will teach single fathers and single mothers to be more circumspect in taking marriage decisions, especially when kids are still young. Do all you can to keep your marriage. There are other lives involved here. I was going to suggest you involve a respected elder in the family to talk to your husband, but it appears he won't agree willingly or happily and that may also affect the boy's integration in the house. How i wish he would see it as an opportunity to do something great which not many people would do. He's already on it. Encourage him. Don't get carried away by the fact that you are financially independent. Sorry if you answered this somewhere in the thread, have you met his father's family to discuss the challenges with them and appeal for help? I was reluctant to suggest this earlier because you are in the best position to reform that child and he may not fare better with the father's family or even with a step mother. If however they can give him a home, you will then increase your presence around him and in his life. Someone made a suggestion about adoption. As strange as it sounds, i can assure you there are decent, successful families around that will be willing to take the boy in, and foster him. I wish you and your husband well in your decisions. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:28am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Davash222:not true bra. See, I once dated a chick that is very popular on Facebook to the extent any of her post gets nothing less than 500 - 1000 comments from both male and female, and she is well known for attacking men, calling men dogs, saying Nigerian married men don't deserve respect or fidelity because they cheat and treat women anyhow. But behind those rants, is a lovely, sexy, calm, respectful chick who does everything to make me happy ![]() Sometimes when I go through her FB posts and the comments and the fights with guys and how other ladies support her, I will just be wondering if it's the same girl I was dating lol The only thing she says online that is true about her offline is that she is a snub, and a bit prideful sha which were part of the reasons I left. Also, she doesn't respect her older male siblings from my little observations, and I wasn't cool with that 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by dominique(f): 7:29am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Good, it's advisable she leaves the man and focus on her children. Men DO marry single mothers (example is OP's husband). Nobody bribes or forces them to, they CHOOSE to. That's why it is completely absurd to refuse a single mother to have custody of her child knowing fully well she's a mum before marrying her. OP's husband is even worse, why promising to raise her kids as his when he knew he couldn't? Labelling the boy a thief is very unfair. His stealing of food was circumstantial, something he probably wouldn't have done is he was not in an hostile environment. This is why he needs his mother now more than ever. 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 7:34am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: You tell lies. Blended families are nothing new to the whiteman. It's something I see everyday in my line of work, where a white woman has all her 3 children living with her new partner with their own 2 children. I see such scenarios more times than I can count. There is an old man I recently saw, who is very sick and I was surprised to see his children (who are older than me by far) looking after him. The children are also all grown (over 40 years) living in their own places with their own families but they left all, to alternate looking after their father. He had 2 white sons and a daughter. What was shocking to me was to realise this black man (Carribean black) had white children looking after him. His children were white and he was a full black man. They were washing him up, feeding him, changing him. Infact, you can palpate how troubling the family felt as they are losing the man they've called father all their life. The older son was most visibly affected as you could see the tears in his eyes and even his voice when talking to you. It was the family pictures in his home that explained a lot as I was initially confused hearing them keep saying dad and seeing it could not be biologically so. I saw his wedding pictures as a young man, married to a white lady. I saw pictures of these white children when they were young growing up with this black man, laughing, playing and going on several holidays. He was their dad and that's what they called him. He raised them and they would do anything for him. Their mother died long ago, and he continued to raise them as his. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by martowskin1(m): 7:37am On Mar 14, 2020 |
. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:38am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege:My brother and I have also lived in the western world and I can tell you that no whiteman will accept a child that is not his if they didn't agree initially that the child will join them, and no western law states that a child will be forced on a man to cater for even when the child is not his. As much as I love kids, we must understand the op's husbands stand on this situation. Only few men will take that boy in with the negative reports already on him. The most difficult time to raise boys is 11 and above, and girls 16 - 24. The man isn't maltreating any child, he is only saying no that he cannot cater for extra child and no law anywhere in the world will force a child on him when the child is not even his biological child. What western law does is to take the child away from you if you maltreat the child and not force a child on you, no western law does that sir 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 7:40am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: The child should be with the mother and the western laws support that wholeheartedly. If the man is unhappy about it, he can move out and continue to be responsible for his own children with their mother. It's as simple as that 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:42am On Mar 14, 2020 |
jelel6:On the bolded, you are 100% correct, the man is totally wrong. If he knew he couldn't take the heat why go close to the kitchen ![]() He shouldn't have married the single mother at all if we are to be honest ![]() Another reason single guys and men reading must think it thoroughly before marrying a single mother; hope you will be willing to marry the child along with the mother and not cry fowl tomorrow ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Davash222(m): 7:42am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng:The last line is typical of poco. I believe that your girl is short. That’s how short girls behave. Even michellekabod2 can’t be exempted. They’re only lovely when they’re excited. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:44am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege:Yes that's true, you are right. The law supports that if the mother was given the legal right to be with the child (have custody) after separation or divorce with her first husband, which brings us to the question: where is the child's father in all these ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Psoul(m): 7:46am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege: You are not making any sense to me at all. Nobody is talking about maltreating a child here. I don't know how you ppl even managed to pass exams if u can't comprehend simple things like this issue. Maltreating a child is quite different from a man not accepting to take in a boy that is not his child and of which the mother of the child cannot give account of where the father is nor will any of the woman's relative want to have anything to do with the child accused of bn a thief. I am even wondering the kind of fake Western countries u have bn living in. If you actually lived any of those "saner climes" according to you, I believe you should be reasoning better than this. Here, we are talking of a woman bringing extra responsibility to a man in his house. A child that is not urs and you need to take care of him and be responsible for his actions till he becomes an adult. Meanwhile, the boy in question has a dent to his name. As someone that lives in a western country, you want to tell me that a whiteman will readily accept that responsibility? You want to tell me that the white man will not want to involve the services of a lawyer into this to draft terms and conditions and spell out how that will be handled if at all he was able to be convinced to take in the boy? This ur western world get as e be ooo. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:49am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Davash222:lol, she wasn't short, 5ft7 is an average height for ladies. And how did you know poco is short lol. I don't think character has anything to do with height bra, and by the way, no lady is short to me so long as she has good buttocks, flat tummy, average standing boobs not big, then she is good to go ![]() Remove eyes from ladies' height, it doesn't matter in the oza room ![]() |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Psoul(m): 7:49am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Don't mind them. When you are involved, you will reason differently. Everyone is blaming the man cos he said no. Had it bn that the man accepted, they will be the same ppl calling the man names. Telling him that he is an asslicker, woman wrapper, not man enough and how can a full grown man accept such a thing. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by dominique(f): 7:50am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Yeah because Cesc Fabregas, Matt Damon, Chris Daughtry etc are all black African men |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by pocohantas(f): 7:52am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Of course, I know you will type another epistle to rationalize it. But women are biologically wired to accept step-kids and other people’s children. Your hypocrisy right in your face! Have a nice day. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Rejoice5000(f): 7:54am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:Believe me that ur son is not a bad son he needs u around him pet and be begging ur husband to accept him.and the fault may come from u by telling ur husband abt the behavior of ur son atimes we need to keep quiet in some issues. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Psoul(m): 7:54am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Can you imagine what the boy was vomiting. I wonder how some ppl reason oo. Whiteman this, whiteman that. It's Africans that are very sympathetic. The whites lack that. They can only do it when laws demand they do it, but Africans will take up responsibilities that have nothing to do with dem. If the man says no, that he doesn't want to bring that boy to his house especially as the boy was accused of bn a thief, they should not condemn him. They only need to try to talk the man into seeing reasons with them. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by pocohantas(f): 7:55am On Mar 14, 2020 |
delishpot: Franchasng to be very specific. The identifier of wicked women. ![]() Can any of these guys swear they won’t tell us how 99.315% of women would never love a child that is not theirs if tables were turned? Disgusting hypocrites. Spits* 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:56am On Mar 14, 2020 |
dominique:go and check, there must be well documented agreement on how those extra kids will be catered for, and the whereabouts of their biological fathers must be known and his stand legally defined. The op hasn't for once talked about her sons father, his stand, etc No western law my sister forces a child on a man when the child is not his biological child, I have lived in western world to know a little about it even though I have not had any child care related issue to know much though, but from the little I know, the man cannot be forced to take in the child if he doesn't want, unless he signed to take in the child when they were getting married and turned around now to say no, which will lead to legal settlement not verbal talks 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Davash222(m): 7:57am On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng:Lol Poco is very short. She even escaped dwarfism. I've seen her photos here. But, she's well endowed at the backside, though it's normal with short girls. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 7:57am On Mar 14, 2020 |
pocohantas:hahahahahahahaha i don suffer ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 8:00am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul: It shows your level of exposure and you have had no interaction with a white man. No white man will employ the services of a lawyer ( which will probably be more expensive than having the boy stay in his home) to draft up any agreement. How much food does the boy want to eat in his childhood? How much clothes does he want to wear? The law understand the parents of the boy should provide this, and in this case it's the mother. She has a responsibility to provide his food, clothing, shelter, education. Who do you want that responsibility to go to? The father is not in the country, so no court can force him to have shared custody. Is it not a person you see that you can talk of custody with? There will even be no need of convincing anything, in the western country. It's non negotiable for you to ask the woman not to bring in her child to her residence. The law doesn't care about your ego, or your other responsibilities. The child needs a home and his parent should provide that. Simple. Unless she gives him up for adoption, and them he becomes someone else's child 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Rejoice5000(f): 8:01am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Oyindidi:God bless you.yeyeish husband indeed.who knows tomorrow. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Saintmary(f): 8:01am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eldest:The child's future is more important than the man's ego. I prioritize children any day anytime. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 8:02am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Davash222:ah for real ![]() ![]() ![]() Then she is good to go if she has flat tummy and firm average boobs, fine face amd height are not relevant, unfortunately I am married, and an attempt to marry 2 exposed ladies will turn my home to hiroshima of 1945 ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Filmdirect: 8:03am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Your son is 12. You left him at 9. The boy has been maltreated and is so hungry he had to steal food! As his only parent (mother for that matter) you have caused him great pain and the trauma will define him for a long time. A mother is intrinsically believed to be the most support and love a child can feel. It was a big mistake to allow your husband to send him away, with a paltry excuse of accommodation. Now he doesn't want him to harm his children? That boy is about to be homeless and you as a mother can even consider your husband's opinion over a child you bore? One day you will regret this. Your son is dealing with serious rejection. You are paying 70% of the bills with a man that cannot love you enough to see your child as his own? And you can bare to look at him because he made you a married woman? Do you know that that boy would have grown up to take care of you? I'm a mother and can't imagine the pain that child is going through, and i could die for my children. You want to know what to do? Might not be popular but go to your son. Reduce expenses and care for him. That one act will save his life. Your husband can either join or move on. P/s: I know a Nigerian man who is caring for six children, only three are his own. They bare his name, and he's making all these sacrifices because he loves his wife. Don't act like he did you a favor marrying you. Save your son. He is not a bad boy. He is psychologically pained and rejected and very very scared. Vyvyanvyvy: 5 Likes 1 Share |
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