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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us (95112 Views)
My Husband Doesn’t Love Me / My Husband doesn’t give me sexual satisfaction because he uses condom / My Husband Doesn’t Satisfy Me Sexually, Our Kids Not His – Wife (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 6:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul: You obviously did not read the rest of the OP's responses. She has a thriving shop which was left to her by her late mother. She paid for the flat where she was living with the man when they first got married, and till now she bears 70% of the bills in the house. She also pays the entire school fees for her 1st daughter that she had before she met the man, and still pays 50% of the 2nd daughter's fees that they have together. So she is financially capable of standing on her own....she is not an impoverished gold digger, looking for a man to finance her lifestyle. 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 6:44pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Pusyiter:He does NOT love her, otherwise he would be busy trying to help her solve her problems. Any man who claims to love you, and turns a deaf ear to your problems, instead of helping you find a solution, is a very self-centred man..... 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 6:48pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
revolt:Chai....lawd, why are there so many nonsensical posts on this thread? ![]() ....The same spouse that can wake up tomorrow, and walk out on you, or tell you he is tired of everything you stand for? Chisos have mercy...... ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobleking1994(m): 6:51pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: you have been aggressive in your response to peoples comment here. cant you see where she wrote that she left there family house when her child was just two weeks because of maltreatment from mother in law meaning she syill knows the contact of the mans family but vehemently refused to go back to the mans family and relatives. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 6:55pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Nobleking1994: Even if she knows the contact of the man's family, how are you sure the man's family will not maltreat or be cruel to the boy? What are you even saying, sef? A family that maltreated the mother of the boy, when her child was just two weeks old? Will they be able to take care of her son? Did any of them keep in touch with her? Or did they ask about the welfare of those children? 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Amberon11: 6:55pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
This woman is the breadwinner yet you dare call her lazy. Mumu. KIDfurniture: 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 6:57pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Hmm, I have a cousin who faced the issue... She refused when her dad asked her to go to the man's family house and leave the babe for them since the child was a boy (Note: I like the boy, very quiet and obedient kid age 4yrs). She trained this boy with this your mom kind of love (Not realizing that moms love is not enough -both parents are needed), when the man finally discover that his wife is giving him female kids and could not product sexually, Secondly the boy started asking about his father. When the father showed up after argument the man took his son. Ma you love you kids I know. My advice is this speak with your husband at bed time. My question is also this Will you allow him change the kids surname to his (Fully registered)? Will you speak with the real father (documents his opinion in regards to this) To accept a responsibility of a father and after much more you are left with the pain and grief when the young man (kid) decides to follow his biological father 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Amberon11: 7:01pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
It is the women in your family and lineage that are dumb. Men are their own worst enemies. How can a grown man see a 12 year old boy as a threat? If your own 12 year old steals would you disown him ? Some of you just don't sense and will never have sense. If the reverse were the case you'd call the woman a witch for not accepting the child of her husband. Some of you are even suggesting she rents a place for the small boy. A child of 12 living alone when both parents of his are alive. We have too many idiots in Nigeria, no wonder Buhari is president. cr7lomo: 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by AreaFada2: 7:15pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII:Lol. Our women have been too used to blaming men and feeling they are always right that they cannot take responsibility for their bad decisions, poor attitude or take criticism. If women truly want equality, they must begin accepting the blame they have been dishing out at men. Most ladies I dated years back earned more than me. Yes, they began their careers young in their own country. It was never an issue. I was even still at school in some cases. It's the way 9ja women suddenly look down on their men once they financially contribute more. This is real, not self esteem issues. That's where those Caucasian ladies I dated cannot be ever compared to 9ja women. Fact is if a woman has two kids for a man and can absolutely have no contact with that man or his family, it's strange. You have to look carefully at the personality of someone who could not ingratiate herself even a single person in the ex-man's family. Not a single one. The new poor hubby cannot afford to embark on a thankless job. The knows it from from his wife's attitude by now. Tell me how many billionaire daughters are married to very poor guys? Women always married up. We even have more gold diggers now. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:22pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
ladykolly: If there are two wrongs? The lesser wrong becomes the right. That lady has a mandate to choose her son today and love him (even if it means getting in real trouble in her marriage-even as far as doing the Naija sosayiti taboo-divorce! Oh yesh I dare to mention the dreaded word. “...putting him in a boarding son doesn’t mean he can’t come to visit?...” Can you even “hear” yourself? Her son? Whose immediate need is his mother’s love? 12 years old? Also already reacting to his long term abandonment by being delinquent? Like, seriously, what are you saying!!! ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 7:35pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII:Thats why you people are destroying your homes. When you get into a union with one leg in and out. Its an irony that you say your spouse can leave but your shallow brain hasn't made you realise that the children WILL leave.... Atleast husband might leave but children will have to leave. With this mentality it will be difficult to keep a marriage. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:37pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
femi4: I prefer that post to this So, there. Cheers |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:39pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
sweetdude001: Your whole post is wrong Sir But the struck out part deserves an award for horror P.S. I will defend that lady- she is putting other kids into consideration by reuniting them with their abandoned and maltreated sibling. Commend her resolve. If your darling daughter or sister or cousin was in her shoe (yeah yeah we know they can’t be stupid enough to be in this kinda situation), but just what if!? What would your advice be? From the bottom of your heart where your soul and conscience live? 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oyindidi(f): 7:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
AreaFada2:You just remind me, NO MONEY NO ERECTION ![]() Good old days on Nl ![]() |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:50pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: The bolded is a goldmine For all your posts that I have been reading on this thread? Have a brandy on me! And God bless you good! 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 8:00pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Amberon11: Please, I am curious, are they still together? Because I want to test a hypothesis I have about marriage in Nigerian society Also what is their tribe? |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by ladykolly(f): 8:50pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
merahki:are you considering her other kids at all? I rest my case mr, you are entitled to your opinion |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 9:06pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
ladykolly: I am not a man, and I wonder why you clearly place marital status over humanity Anyway, let each of us stay on our different lanes 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 9:18pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
movement2020:No sir, you are the one writhing in convulsions, because you don't want the woman to bring in her son and care for him. Meanwhile it is people like you that will still turn round to insult and mock her, if her child turns out to be a deviant, or a cultist or a criminal. You will accuse her of being a bad mother....now she wants to do the right thing, you guys are saying crap. So I suggest you go back and read my previous post carefully, so that you can gain enlightenment. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 9:21pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
revolt:Yes, your children will leave when they grow older, but will not cut ties with you, and will end up looking after you, in your old age. But your spouse, is a different case. If any psychedelic babe walks in front of him, he can forget that he took marital vows and will look for excuses to break up with you. Haven't you seen such things happening over and over again, in the past?? Grow up and receive sense, abeg! And stop throwing fits like a retar'ded toddler. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 9:29pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
AreaFada2: You keep changing your mouth, when confronted with facts. Now, it is billionaire daughters you are looking at? Was that what you said the last time? No! Can a woman have two kids for a man, and can absolutely have no contact with that man or his family...it is NOT strange. If the family was not in support of their union from the beginning, it is quite possible for them to turn their backs on her. Did the man make any effort to get in touch with her? No. He might even be in prison, sef. Or may have married one Oyinbo over there, and forgotten about her. She has said when she lived with them, she was maltreated. So she had to leave. Did they look for her or even show any interest in the kids, knowing fully well that those kids belonged to their brother? They didn't. So why should she maintain contact with people, who clearly resent her? That family is clearly bad..... there is a proverb that a person must not have bad in-laws, even if he/she has a bad spouse. Some of you Naija men have twisted brains. The man who travelled to Italy and never asked for his kids or made efforts to get in touch all through the years, is a wicked soul. Yet, the woman is still hanging in there and standing by her kids. Now she wants to be a mother to her son, people like you are spewing out derogatory remarks in her direction. May God punish all the children of wickedness that are doing so..... 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 9:33pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by femi4: 9:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
merahki:Riff raff |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by movement2020: 9:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: Read up and see where I asked few questions about her background. The age of the kids, location of her Ex et al. This questions laid foundation to how you got to know her Ex is out the country and all sorts. I am a social worker, background check is the first thing we do, which I did. I advised accordingly. When you handle issue like this, you don't allow words to becloud you. With her few responses and conclusion, she is ready to make her children the priority rather than her marriage. In your own view, don't be judgmental or gender sensitive or sentimental, which one would you advise a woman to make her priority? You don't conclude for a client, you lay down options, which I did. She refused all options available and decided to opt for her choice which is not bad either but I am more concerned on the future consequences especially for the kids. See, any marriage in this era that breakdown, the children suffer a lot. You can do your research. In SW, what we do is to see how to reduce the suffering of the kids. That I focused more on but the woman is adamant, she wants the boy to be with her. Is that the way marital issues should be handled? Let's agree that the man is wrong for not accepting, he knows why and has reservations about it. It is understandable. The actions of the boy and staying with two young girls can be dangerous. Nobody prays for bad stuff but if it happens, the kids would not forgive both parents. Do not create another problem. Patience is what the woman requires. Let me be factual with you, if the woman can drop the man's number, I can assure that the issue would be resolved. All we need to do is assure the man that everything would be fine. The woman has not exhausted that link and she's using force, is that right? You want or advise her to divorce or separate again? |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by AreaFada2: 9:45pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: Look, I have a family friend who is a highly qualified professional. She has refused her ex-man seeing their kids. She still cannot point out what this man did wrong. Everyone sought to reconcile them but no way. This guy has tried to remain in touch but she has used her status to frustrate his efforts. He paid mostly for her training. We all saw it. And of course no contact with the ex-hubby's family. She thinks giving material stuff to the kids is all that matters. Even in diaspora. Many of us here are not kids. We can draw on decades of experience, either professionally or in private life or both. Women can be very vindictive when they break up. When some parents are against marriage and they go ahead anyway, the couple tend to do a lot to stick together. They work even harder on their marriage. No way the entire family can resent a new woman in the family. She must be able to connect with at least one or two. We do not live in a vacuum, we live real lives, with real families and in-laws. I am not changing my mouth. I insist that the vast majority of women marry up. Most only manage whoever comes along if no choice. On NL, many SE ladies unashamedly tell us that a poor man should forget marriage or erection. I like their honesty. Let's not pretend that women do not preferentially seek rich guys. They do. Why do so many women have sugar daddies? Even some married women? Fact remains same however much you do pocket lawyer. The hubby doesn't want to bring in the troublesome son of another man. Instead of condemning him here one day for hitting and killing his step-son. He's an honest man. Do not start what what could to lead to a tragedy. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 9:50pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
opusingi: 1 Like
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by DedeNkem: 10:01pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Your response is somewhat deeper than your post. You did the right things to make this work. Your husband didn't keep his promise! Sorry, I misunderstood your situation. You should think well if this marriage is good for you. He promised to take your kids as his, but unfortunately that's not the case! A woman can marry another person but you can "unson" your son! Think about it. Good luck! 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 10:07pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
janvier27: Adoption?? What kind of wicked suggestion is this? When the mother is willing, able and yearning to take care of her son? He is NOT an unwanted child. He has a mother! The father abandoned the mother with 2 kids and fled to Italy. Meanwhile, the father's family maltreated the mother, until she was forced to move out of their house. The wicked family who maltreated the woman, do you think they will not maltreat the son?? 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 10:15pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng: Which long grammar are you recycling here? Didn't you read where the OP said the man AGREED that the boy would move in with them after marriage, once they got a bigger apartment....only for the man to now change his mind, afterwards? ![]() She didn't force him to marry her, and she explained the situation quite clearly to him before marriage. Even the man met the kids (both the boy and girl) before he married their mother. ![]() So an AGREEMENT was in place. If he had not agreed in the 1st place to the kids living with them, I am sure the OP would NOT have married him. Why change the goal post in the middle of the game?? ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by franchasng: 10:22pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII:I no even read am, I only read the title, the first few lines, and voom I started my own contribution from my pre-loaded head na ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 10:28pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul: Yes, the man is being blamed for saying NO, simply because he said YES earlier, BEFORE he got married to the single mom. When he married the woman, did he expect her to abandon the child on the road? Didn't he meet the 2 kids living with her? The woman discussed the responsibility of the kids with him, before she even married him and he agreed to have her son live with them after their marriage. Why renege now? Where will the child go? Why deny a woman the chance to bring up her son, simply because you married her? If he had said NO from day one, BEFORE the marriage, I can bet that the single mom would not have married him. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 10:36pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
franchasng:Don't be funny....you talk like someone who is high on weed. Haven't you heard of adopted kids, still going back to look for their real parents after they grow up? It happens all the time. It doesn't mean that the person who raised them did a bad job, or that they don't regard him as their father. Most of the time, these kids just want to satisfy their curiosity or they need info, for medical reasons. 1 Like |
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