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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us (95125 Views)
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 10:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Psoul:Ok, so she should throw the child out on the street, so that her husband will not feel offended, right? After all you feel the well being of a 12 year old kid, is not important, but the anger of her adult husband, (who knew about the child's existence before he married the mum) is the most serious thing here. .. 9 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Graxie(f): 10:53pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Waoh, this post shows the hypocrisy of some men. Thank God we still have men with brain here. I grew up with 3boys, most of them were stealing at age 12 to 17, my mom didn't chase them away. In fact, my father made our second son his cashier. So many of you guys stole when you were that age and you are still stealing, yet you feel very comfortable writing off a 12years old child. I thank God for the poster, sound and strong woman, you know what you want. Please run and go for your son, he is your blood. Mother's are giving it all for their damaged kids here on this post how much more your young son. You see why every woman needs to be financially stable, you can't have money and be receiving shits. The man would have messed you up if he was in charge financially, a man that saw a single mom, went to marry her with the pretense that he loves the kids, he thought he is sharp, typical lazy Nigerian youth, he wanted to eat his cake and have it. He came to a stable woman who he can use to dodge poverty, typical scammer and he has the effrontery to judge a 12years old boy. Ndi Uchu, marriage gbakwa oku. Opa amu, apa ego fa, he is forming anger and driving out. Don't beg, napu ya motor awa, Ona aya motor. 10 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 11:10pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
movement2020:The problem with a lot of you people commenting on the OP's post, is that you have not been following the whole story from page 1 to the end. You just jump into the middle of one page, and start asking questions that have already been answered several times before The boy is 12, his biological sister is 6, his step sister is about 2 years old, and the mother is currently pregnant with the 4th kid. You are saying the boy's stay in the house will be dangerous. He is only 12, not even a teenager yet. He needs love, care and supervision. The mom's new husband promised to bring all her kids into their home to live with them, but after taking in the girl, he refused to let the boy live with them. Yet, the issue of the kids was discussed extensively before they got married, and his consent was given. The mom would NOT have married him, if he had refused to have anything to do with the kids. Now what is the next step? Do you expect her to leave her son on the street, simply because her new husband will not allow him to live with them? The biological father abandoned the mother and 2 kids to go to Italy. Nobody knows where he is.... 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 11:23pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
AreaFada2:Please cut the crap. Because you know one woman who refused to let her ex-husband or his family see the kids, does NOT mean most women in her shoes, would do the same, or are even doing the same thing. Secondly, the single mom made her status clear, before marrying her new husband. And he agreed to bring them in to live with them. He AGREED to having her son under his roof. If he knew he didn't want the child living with them, he should NOT have married a single mum. The lady said it clearly that if she had known he would change his mind, then she would NOT have married him. Women in Nigeria are now looking for sincere men to settle down with. He does not have to be rich, he only has to love them, stay faithful, remain honest and should NOT be a liability. Almost every month in Lagos, over the past few years, I see Naija women in their '30s and '40s marrying down. It has become the new normal. No one frowns at it, anymore. The only criteria is that the guy must have his own job, and fend for himself. Some babes even sponsor their own weddings, with minimal contribution from the guy. So please get those outdated ideas out of your brain. As for the new husband of that single mom .....he is nothing more than a pretentious opportunist. He made a promise to the woman and reneged on it. Where does he expect the 12 year old boy to go? Does he expect the woman to abandon him on the street? He knows fully well that the boy's biological father abandoned the woman and her 2 kids, to run to Italy, and has never contacted them. He might even be in prison, or could be married to an Italian or could be dead. Who knows? As for his family, how come they never bothered about the welfare' of her two kids, since she left them several years back, due to maltreatment? Even if she is on good terms with one or more members of the man's family, can those ones take her child in without maltreating him? What is the guarantee? At the end of the day, the boy will remain estranged from his mum, and may even resent her for life! He may even turn into a deviant, a cultist or criminal without the right monitoring or supervision. That is what she is trying to prevent, by making sure he grows up with her in her own home. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:30pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Belafonte: Ode, I had a neighbor in America whose husband left her with six kids and left no trace. He probably abandoned them in the Country and never returned. They did not have his number and got to know about his death years after he divorced his second wife. Keep up with your judging and watch yourself get judged one day too. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:32pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Na WA o. So it's now a crime for her to want her child under her roof. Your daughter will soon face the same predicament. You are wicked. Richy4: 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:39pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
AreaFada2: Keep yarning senseless trash until some hopelessly useless mor.on turns your unfortunate daughter into a baby mama. Na that time you go know how koboko dey be for body. Wicked bull d*ng. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 11:40pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Digmygold: Thank you for telling him the truth, jaré. See the way they keep blaming women for everything, while pretending that the man is an angel. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:43pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: Psoul STFU. If na you be the pikin papa and you remarry you will want your new wife to treat your son like a king. Bunch of heartless hypocrites. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 11:43pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Nobleking1994: Honestly if I had a gun I would lend it to her ![]() We need more “aggressiveness” to make people see evil for what it is, and stop hiding behind the gender insecurity that is on fleek on this thread 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:46pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
movement2020: If the boy was the man's son would he throw him away? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:50pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Belafonte: Sh*t happens. There's one Ubunja moniker on this forum. He gets women pregnant, dupes them of their hard earned money and takes a walk because senseless idiots will always think it's the woman's fault. Good thing is Karma is teaching him a lesson. Worse thing is this animal was brought up by a single mother, hates his father like hell yet his past time is the raw wickedness of turning innocent women into single mothers. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 11:51pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Digmygold:Please check my moniker again. I am not Psoul. You quoted me wrongly. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 11:57pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
[quote author=Oriyomin25 post=87386935][/quote] Even if she does, is she going to force the child on them? So you think it's right for her to leave her child to those he sees as strangers and not allow him under her own roof? Your daughter go soon turn baby mama. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:02am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Davash222: It's paedos that usually reason the way you do. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:03am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Davash222: Unlike Ubunja lol 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:05am On Mar 15, 2020 |
martowskin1: But if na the man born ten pickin outside marriage you will say the wife should treat the children as her own. Heartless people. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:07am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Op, you are financially stable. Dump him, take his kids away from him and let him also feel the pain of not having his kids under his roof. Then he will reset his dead brain. Nonsense. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:09am On Mar 15, 2020 |
martowskin1: You better stop standing for the man before one useless mo. ron turns your unfortunate daughter into a baby mama. It's called Karma. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Digmygold: 12:13am On Mar 15, 2020 |
martowskin1: It's your type that will go and give one olosho belle and bring the bastard home to your wife to nurture as her own child. You will then blame her for "starting the fire" by nagging too much over your cheating sexcapades which made you go and get olosho pregnant. You will also expect her to forgive you without blinking an eyelid or uttering a word God punish all of una. Ubunja replicas. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 12:16am On Mar 15, 2020 |
CeterisXVII:maybe your dad did that ..my family was different. My mum took my dad clearly above us.ie food, clothing, respect, authority....my dad was simply the head of the home and my mum made us follow his rules even in death. Si well we know with your mentality it may be difficult to get a proposal, but when and if you start a damily we would see if youd remember your parents b4 your family..... kid |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 12:23am On Mar 15, 2020 |
revolt:You know nothing about me, so don't jump to wrong conclusions. It is obvious you have zero respect for your own Dad, that is why you can make such callous references about the character of someone else's Dad. My late Dad was an exemplary father who died a few years back. Guess what? It was us - the kids he and my mum had, that came to his rescue when he fell ill, and also took care of his widow my dear mum, when he passed on. I have seen beautiful examples of happy families and togetherness, which is why I hate the idea of someone alienating his or her kids, just to please a spouse. This is Africa. Your children are your old age investment. If you ignore them to please a spouse, and that spouse leaves or dies....who will you fall back upon for support? Use your head, please. Stop parroting ridiculous examples. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 12:38am On Mar 15, 2020 |
CeterisXVII:madam you dont have to alienate or ignore the kids before your spouse can come first. Whether africa or Asia, if you dont put your spouse 1st, the kids will even be forced to choose btw both parents at old age based on who they think favored them more. So your dad took you guys first above his wife or vice versa....... madam grow up. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by AreaFada2: 3:01am On Mar 15, 2020 |
My lesson from this thread is that many people are still looking for who to blame for own failings. Sure, it makes us feel good about ourselves. We all fail in different ways. It can't just be not taking signs of things ahead seriously. Being naive or failing to see things from different perspectives before committing ourselves. People can either tell you the bitter truth as they see it or hypocritically deceive you. Those who deceive don't love you more. They just make it more difficult for you to own your mistakes, poor decisions and fate graciously. We must own our mistakes and failures, not just our successes. In life, nobody owes us anything once our parents have raised us. Even marriage guarantees nothing these days. Not the type our parents and grandparents had. It's every man for himself. Limit the number of kids you have. Do not rush into marriage. Consider your economic situation and talk finances before marriage. Nothing should be left un-discussed. Nobody owes you anything. Not friends, not relatives, not in-laws. Not even those you have helped in the past. Let any help come as a bonus or surprise. Insure yourself and your family if feasible where you reside. To cover your family if the unthinkable happens. Be positive. Be conciliatory. Waiting to hear music to your ears may sound nice but ultimately of no help. Many will come with messages. You cannot attack every messenger. Take the message that address your situation. Discard those that don't. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sarang(f): 3:14am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Davash222: Most Nigerian men deserves condemnation you guys suck! 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sarang(f): 3:17am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Digmygold: You rock!! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Jephyard(m): 3:42am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Sarang: @ Sarang No one is telling the OP to abandon her kids but to work things out for the good of the family. What is best for her might not be necessarily good for the kids. One must becareful in what decision he or she takes. His son is as important as his Husband. The love must be spread equally. She should continue to look for ways for his husband to accept his son into the family it very important no matter how you look at it. Let be honest with ourselves the OP son is having behavioral and social problems due to the initial separation between her mom and his dad. He is yet to get to withdrawals mode where he will lock himself out on everyone. He needs a proper family that will show him love that's has both the mom and a dad not just the mom. One notable trend about divorce I have come to see around as fact is that, when children grow seeing a marriage fail, they develop doubts about love and harmony in a relationship. They have trust issues and find it challenging to resolve conflicts in a relationship. Such children, as adults, will start any relationship with a negative mindset. I hope you don't want that for your kids. I am speaking as fact I don't do opinion shit! (And by the way children could learn from their parent mistakes and become better but who has time to wait for you when at the back of your mind life expectancy in this part of the world is less than 50 years. No time to check time!) Your kids or children are not your meal ticket when you grow old that is a selfish act. They will have responsibilities to their families, please less the burden. That's why I said your kid are not your future build yours, plan for your old age. Also I am not saying a proper family doesnt have their own problems but you have to choose either to be in the pan or in the fire. This decision only the OP can make. Marriage is bae no matter how you it term it as useless abi are you a product of a fail marriage? |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Davash222(m): 4:01am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Sarang:You keep seeking for my attention with your reckless mentions. Am I owing you? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by martowskin1(m): 4:07am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Digmygold: Fortunately for the man, he didn't... So wait till he did... U don't expect people to accept ur every baggage because of ur life wrong choices in life. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sarang(f): 4:47am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Davash222: Cos you keep typing trash! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by KIDfurniture(m): 6:09am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Akara winner ni....l blame the man for marrying a woman with 2 kids already. Some men joke too much. If she is a buns winner why is she trying to force another man's child unto the man? Amberon11: |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by tammie24: 6:30am On Mar 15, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:good decision And please stick to it cos your boy is getting older You don't need to be under a man at the expense of your kids cos if that boy becomes a rogue tomorrow know it in your heart that you failed him He can even be of help to you... He is 12! Theres so much a 12 year old boy can do to relieve you of stress. Please don't allow strangers raise your child What if he gets tempted ourside and gets killed? You never forgive yourself 1 Like |
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