martowskin1:


Bro, Nigerians are so emotional and not logical, ur point is direct and simple. Which is what have been saying, the man need to be convinced, he is not under any obligation to the boy.

The lady keep shouting money this, money that, like bringing up a kid require only money. His house is not a motel for crying out loud.

Thank you my brother for bn wise.
This is not an issue of emotion.
The woman needs to appeal to the man's rationality, which may even help to trigger his emotion.
Then rational reason together with parental emotion will move the man into accepting the wife's request.

martowskin1:


Bro, Nigerians are so emotional and not logical, ur point is direct and simple. Which is what have been saying, the man need to be convinced, he is not under any obligation to the boy.

The lady keep shouting money this, money that, like bringing up a kid require only money. His house is not a motel for crying out loud.

She says she pays the rent of their home, so its technically her house.

.

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martowskin1:


From all her comment, u will realise she is rude, even claiming she pay the bills in the home.....


Some wise women out there, will manipulate this man and bring the boy in with out noise. Is their husband, they know where to tune him and all he will be saying is yes yes yes yes ...

But she is here acting kingkong

You are pained because she is financially capable, you can't believe a lazy man like you can be told what to do. We are getting there, it's either you follow the terms of agreement before marriage or you quit. The husband is lazy, cunny and he is also a manipulator. He wants to eat his cake and have it. Lazy youths, you are looking for a woman to pet you. Ndi iberibe.

eyinjuege:
Human beings sha.
So quick to call a 12 year old boy a molester of younger children, but closing their eyes to the possibility of the husband being a pedophile eyeing his step daughter.
Why would you think a young boy would molest his sister?

And people saying he's a thief.
What has he stolen?
I'm almost 100%sure that majority of those labelling the child a thief also stole from their mother's purse at that age

I swear some comments i have read here have been shocking....

CeterisXVII:


There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with her character. Stop trying to paint her in a bad light.

1). She was upfront and honest from the beginning. She told the man about her 2 kids, BEFORE she married him. She didn't deceive him or hide the truth. The man AGREED that the kids could stay with the after the marriage. This shows that she got his consent, before going ahead with the relationship.

2). She was NOT a financial burden on the man. She paid her 1st daughter's fees without the man's input, because he is not the father.

3). She is a responsible woman, who picks up 70% of the bills in the house. I know why she said it, because many people would have assumed she was a gold digger, if she didn't explain that part.

4). She is a good mother, who is concerned about the well-being of her children, and that is why she does not want to leave her son's upbringing permanently, to 3rd parties.

Yet, you are saying she does not have a good character? What else are you looking for? A female version of Angel Gabriel?

No, not a female version of Angel Gabriel. I didn't condemn her, I'm only assuming. Because so many woman I've come across or hear about through their husband, family members or friends do have some elements of bad character. My apologies to her if my words might have hurt her, beside she should go on her knees and talk to the current husband to reconsider. Otherwise, let her rent another small apartment if she has the fund.

I find it strange that some men are not seeing anything wrong with this man refusing the boy from living with him even after the couple had agreed.

If it was his own son out of wedlock and this woman was worried about the influence he would have on her young daughter in this marriage would the responses be the same.

Last last most people are selfish.

Page 41!!! I know say them go don judge this woman tire. Awon judge Judy..Dear Op, I’m sending you love, light and common sense :- ....this too shall pass

.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Husband and I had a heated arguments only because he had seen a conversation I had earlier with my sister she was telling me not to neglect my son because of him and she is in support of me to go and pick him up this Sunday and I told her not to worry my son will come and stay in the house the same way as his siblings so he got angry that I went against him and still want to bring him over he was saying a lot of bad things about my son which made me raged and I told him my son is important than him If he doesn’t want him he is free to leave me I will manage okay with my children have said a lot of harsh things because he made me angry so he took his car key and left the house since 11 something pm and is still not yet back and I regret the harsh things that have said to him but he also deserved it for talking bad about my son a innocent 11 years old and I decided not to check on him or apologise. I’m tired of everything I don’t want to die of bp why can’t we just live in peace with all the children instead of him causing problems for me without thinking about my condition

please go ahead and get your son
Your husband isn't more important than your children cos if the tables were turned he would do same
Your child is your blood while your husband is just a man that can go after another woman in future

Madam your son needs you now that he will ever do. If your husband doesnt accept him , you leave with your two daughters nd rent apartment. It wont be easy but God will see you through, I am not a prophet but am certain that boy will make you proud someday nd it will be worth it

.

martowskin1:


Then why ask the man for permission to bring the boy in.....she should have just bring the boy in, after all she is the head of the home,she pay all the bills, the man is just there lazying out

I guess she was just being nice and polite.
Same way a man should discuss with his wife if he wants to take a major decision such as bringing in his child from another woman.
She is bringing the boy into the house now anyway, as she has already pre informed him.
Good luck to them all.

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Morning, Please dialogue is always the best way out. I also want the boy to come home, but try dialogue with your husband, women don't need force to placate a man...a man is programme to be susceptible to a woman. Now the options:
1. Damn all consequences and bring the boy.
a. The man accepts, but the man will never acknowledge the boy.(Also bad for the family..brews disharmony)
b. Divorce..families slug it out in a court and it result in her losing her kids or not...where do that leave her?
c. She should know no matter how independent she is...she still needs help...nobody is an Island.
d. Something unfortunate happens to her ( like illness or death....BUT GOD FORBID...what next? who will cater for the children..including the 12yrs boy?
d. She tows the line of dialogue with her husband and the man agrees...which men what ever circumstances the man will acknowledge the boy.
The truth is that there is a lot of outcomes that u can think of. But as for me i wish I could hear the man's own side of the story. cos i never come to conclusion when i have heard both side story. Egungun just be careful..cos na express u dey go

Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

@Vyvyanvyvy
You are strong woman.
Mostly the nigerian mothers own their children fully.
Happy he is now with his mama and going to live a happy life.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

My dear you did well. None is like the bond btw mom and child. And you have the capacity to care for him well. Be happy and watch how your bp will normalize.

Safe and sound delivery to you. Peace and love to your home.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

Nice one, do let us know how it goes

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

Awesome, you will not be put to shame in Jesus name. God will give you the strength to raise sound kids. In a society full of hatred, the Lord will lead you. Congratulations for being there for your kids. I am happy for you.

martowskin1:


Let's look at it this way.

If this man is this bad as she is making him look...

He doesn't rake care of his responsibility (because if she is taking 70% bill in the home, is as well saying the man is doing nothing)

The man bluntly refuse to allow her son live in a home where his mum is running 70% cost of the home.

Despite all she is doing for the man, because the man is now the gold digger, which has made us understood from all her statement.

She has even let us understood the man is lazy and even wicked and heartless.

Now her first husband is even worst because he ran away from her with two kids to cater for, she is so nice and lovely wife that her ex husband people even refuse to check up on their brother's kids he ran away from ...

How is she picking this men, how will a nice woman she claim she is keep picking men with questionable character....

Be blabbing rubbish, tomorrow is deep.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

Don't forget to tell us what happens when you get home, that's the one that concerns me.

Please leave nothing out, this your fairy-tale has to have a sweet ending.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

you made the right decision.. Good luck

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everybody for the support , good , bad advices and critics. Like I said the other day I will pick him today am already at my brother place my son stuffs are all packed and we will be leaving soon. I’m very excited happy to have my son back today he will sleep peaceful in his mother house without worrying about what to eat because with me he will have his happy life back

Well done.
Look after your children well o.
They are your own flesh and blood, birthed from your loins.
A man can always walk away without looking back, as you've experienced even from your first relationship.
If your husband tries to make trouble, just continue to appeal to him.. He may decide to take a walk, but such is life. You win some, you lose some
The main thing is that your son is safe

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

Why don't you leave your husband's house for some time till his brain resets and pay full attention to your children as you brought them into this world, if he does not come back, get a divorce as he never loved you in the first place, God will provide you with a better husband in time. My 2 cents.

Vyvyanvyvy:

Thanks for nice advice. You are right my son has become a thief due to the way my sister in law has being treating him , depriving him from food and many bad things the boy had no other choice than to steel. Since I’m alive I want him to be with me and I will take good care of him

You might have to do that without answering Mrs. to the irresponsible husband you have currently, if I were you, I will take the risk since you said you pay 70% of the bills in your house. To show how irresponsible your husband is, he pays only 30% when he should be paying at least 70% and he is still dictating to you. Pardon my French.