Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience, while we hope that there is no underlying medical comdition.Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before you gain entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

It must be in his local dialect lol... If he is Yoruba he might say it like "sir, a ma ri kini yen shey, a fi si, fi si, ko wo le oo"... Lol I don't know how else he might have told them...

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Damn! See experience lol.. You make so much sense... Front page worthy.

Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!!

Babe, Most of the stories on nairaland are made-up and trolls. Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt

Lamanii22:



Damn! See experience lol.. You make so much sense... Front page worthy.

Hi. You again. Please can i sleep wit u to gain experience so I can stop being gay again? U hav manly beautiful face

Sedative drugs should not be an option. Be patient and keep trying.

Lamanii22:




It must be in his local dialect lol... If he is Yoruba he might say it like "sir, a ma ri kini yen shey, a fi si, fi si, ko wo le oo"... Lol I don't know how else he might have told them...

@Donald3d:

Fantastic input, God bless you and family.

Blessedone26:




Thanks for this masterpiece. Seriously we are both tired, I have tried atleast 85% of this... The fear she has is involuntary. Once attempt is being made, you will see that fear written all over her face. We just both decided yesterday that the way out is sedative drug. The objective is to give birth, make enjoyment dey him dey for now.

And you think giving birth is less painful? If she wants kids as much as you do, then she should learn to deal with that fear cause childbirth is the real deal

Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!!

I have heard similar stories from friends although their did not take up to three months to locate but it took that long to achieve first penetration.

Blessedone26:




Thanks for this masterpiece. Seriously we are both tired, I have tried atleast 85% of this... The fear she has is involuntary. Once attempt is being made, you will see that fear written all over her face. We just both decided yesterday that the way out is sedative drug. The objective is to give birth, make enjoyment dey him dey for now.

Have you tried Vaseline? It works like lubricant. You still need quite some amount of pre intimacy to help her relax and you could first use one finger well covered with Vaseline and then increase it to two. It might still take you days of attempting before achieving results.

Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!!

me I just wonder if the man no Sabi d place d woman suppose no, fake story

This story is dead on arrival , to the extent that ur in-laws they help u find the gate to ur destination, my guy find another lie,

bukatyne:
@Donald3d:
Fantastic input, God bless you and family.

Amen, yours as well.

Adgideon:
This story is dead on arrival , to the extent that ur in-laws they help u find the gate to ur destination, my guy find another lie,

We can't be too sure if it's true or take, but I personally know someone who went through something similar, she was so scared of sex, her husband had to report her to people she respects to talk to her, then she gradually shifted her mind to succumb.

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspective...

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear...

Front page materials. Lalasticlala do justice.

Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

[s]The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people[/s]. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience, while we hope that there is no underlying medical comdition.Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before you gain entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

I agree with your post apart from the struck out part. You are not a woman, or are you?
Then the bolded has me thinking how much I would like to know too

Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!!

You would be surprised at the number of couples who had to look for the 'hole' when they first got married.

Even the wife couldn't locate the vagina in one case I know, it really has nothing to do with knowing biology, theory is always different from practical.

This couple will be fine joor

dazzlingd:
This is disgusting to read...we no longer have men, the law of selective survival seems to fail us this time...mummy and daddy's boy getting married, mummy and daddy even brought lubricant for him....
In one word, it's not about morality but ye are a shame to manhood

Brother wey mumu.

Oga, use Vaseline and the rest is story.

Person dey shine dat Congo

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

It’s too long brother,u could have just hurt the nail on the head,MouthAction

All these rubbish bullshit threads Seun keeps pushing to FP

fake story

haa

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

Thank God say we spoil like this so, see people case now...

Ok

.

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

I love you! You know what? You didn't see it as an issue, yet you are making attempts to address it. You will find the way out.. Keep pushing man.

Ha