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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice (1420 Views)
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How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by IamNotATroll: 10:11am On Mar 26, 2020 |
So, I am what people call "MUMU" and this crosses across all genders. But since I would not marry a dude I'd talk about my relationship with girls. Whichever girl comes my way we get talking and if she just seems to be very nice I fall in love immediately. Now before you start saying it's infatuation blah blah... I know what I feel and whenever they end it I get hurt. Not hurt for 1 week. I am still hurt by girls that broke up with me 10 years back. Whenever they come, whatever problem they have I get so worried and try to source out money to get them out (yea, almost all of them). I always want them to be comfortable. When they wrong me I say sorry, when I wrong them I say sorry. I dont get too protective, I give them their freedom and also call them out when they're wrong and I still end up saying sorry. Even the ones that hurt me when they send me a message something in me just ignites and says "could they be thinking about coming back?" But, it never happens, it would be just a "hi-how've-you-been?" Like they care I am not rich but, I try my best. As a matter of fact, I am below average financially (maybe that's the problem) The Last girl, I emptied my account for her just cuz, I felt I am at home and she needed it more cuz she was in school. One day she stopped responding to my messages or picking my calls. I hear girls like rough guys that dgaf, I tried that and then still ended up apologizing. Clearly that ain't my thing. Before they break up with me I see signs but, I choose to believe I'm just being too sensitive and then, it happens. I've tried with high class girls and lowclass girls but, they all act thesame way towards me and I'm like "wtf is wrong with my emotional life?" God knows I am good looking, educated, tall, not dark, smart, creative... the only thing I feel I lack is ability to socialize (clubs, bars, football, FB, Twitter etc), money, job and the ability to be a douché. I'm above 30, so yes, I'm old enough. So, I want to know if anyone has any clue to stop loving girls totally. Cuz, maybe I'm a sacrifice on earth, cursed not to ever be loved. I hear girls don't like people who apologize, who are sincere, who are nice and seriously I can't be anything else so maybe this thing ain't for me. As my moniker says I am not a troll but, I don't wanna be stigmatized so I used a different account. You can ask me questions and I would respond, just need to be done with this Thank you |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Freelane33(m): 10:16am On Mar 26, 2020 |
IamNotATroll:. You need a tutorial brah . Dm me let me teach you how to be an asshole . It’s good to dump them than them being dump you �. There has never been a win -win game . It’s either win-lose or lose-win . |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Riele(f): 10:24am On Mar 26, 2020 |
How can you stop loving girls ? . By killing yourself Olodo . 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Nobody: 10:26am On Mar 26, 2020 |
When you're too nice, people take advantage of you. My advice is, try to be more selfish. put yourself first before others especially women; as they hold your weak spot. 5 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Freelane33(m): 10:28am On Mar 26, 2020 |
I’m going to woo you for calling him olodo ���� ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Riele: |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by JAOS(m): 10:29am On Mar 26, 2020 |
you have to unlock the real-man in you,you were meant to lead the opposite sex,the only one who you must obey is God and the ones a woman must obey are God and their husband(man),know this and be free 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by dawnomike(m): 10:29am On Mar 26, 2020 |
My brother, please focus all your energy on making money and been successful. And every other thing shall be added unto to you in this world.I was once in your kind of shoes! 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by coolestofall(m): 10:32am On Mar 26, 2020 |
By giving your time and attention to only someone reciprocating your advances. 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Nobody: 10:33am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Try loving yourself. 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Eagleboney(m): 10:33am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Tame your mind, and make it not to be too sensitive,stop spending ostentatiously Just to please girls,don't ever put your whole heart in a relationship, just keep an open mind when dealing with girls Focus on making money first, in summary reduce your dependency on girls |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by snitchbitch: 10:34am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Visit www.miseducations.com or try the profs profile here on nairaland, www.nairaland.com/ubunja You can also download "the manipulated man" by Esther villar. In PDF version. All your writeup comprises of "I" "I" "I", life is not about only you, you and you alone. The problem is not about you. What they(other people) think about you doesn't matter. What matters is what you think about yourself. Work on yourself and stop taking blames for what people think about you. No one cares about you. Work on yourself. Stop blaming people about yourself. Stop forcing yourself on people who don't give a shit about you. Dont cast your flowers to the pigs because they will trample on it. Motivate yourself, read books, inspire yourself, believe in yourself. Join a group in your neighbourhood, football club or brotherhood club, (not secret cult )ooo, listen to them share your worries and laugh it off your chest. We need you bro, your life is precious!!! 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by SavageMaster: 10:37am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Freelane33: At 30+, I think Op needs to settle down, as in, get married. That's why he's asking for advice. This is not time for dumping games 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by samdavjustin(m): 10:39am On Mar 26, 2020 |
IamNotATroll: Eayah I was actually feeling pity for you. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by KevMitnick: 10:42am On Mar 26, 2020 |
You need Ubunjas miseducations. You'll be fine Las Las. A lot of girls stupidly misinterpret affection for weakness; a major flaw in their design, by so doing you lose their respect and attention. So you need to learn how to make them desire you like a drug...Read and learn. 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Nobody: 10:43am On Mar 26, 2020 |
SavageMaster:if he gets married like this it will be worse; he'll clean the house, prepare meals, wash his wife's and kids' clothes whilst also working to make money for his family. He's emotionally soft... he has to get things right mentally and let his mind control his heart. 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by bjprodint(f): 10:47am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Very funny guy. 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by AfroKnight: 11:30am On Mar 26, 2020 |
I think it is safe to assume that no woman wants to be married to a man who is not assertive. Even these so-called feminists won’t marry such a man. They want equality but they prefer to wrest it from your hands rather than have it on a platter. You don’t need to change into an asshöle. Just be more assertive. Apologise only when you’re wrong. And no long apologies. Just a sorry with an occasional gift. If she doesn’t apologise when she’s wrong, tell her immediately that she’s childish. Don’t accept unruly behaviour. Provide leadership in the relationship right from the start. Look at this example. In an organisation, if a woman is asked to choose her husband, she is more likely to choose her boss over a guy on the same level with her. Even feminists. They enjoy a man who gives them cause to fight for a seat at the table than a guy who welcomes them to the high table. A man who lets women walk all over him won’t win the loyalty of even feminists. I’ve said it here once. Women love bosses. 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Leezah(f): 11:33am On Mar 26, 2020 |
Sometimes love can be pressurizing. So much so that either of the persons who were once so much in love, may feel like they cannot breathe. Neither of the persons are ready to provide space for the want of companionship. And that could be one of the many problems of what we believe to be love. What I can tell you is, that you can move on only if you want to. 1. You are not interested in the girl and want to let her know politely without hurting her and 2. You have a situation wherein you have to pull away from her due to certain circumstances, even though you don't want to Any other situation and this question wouldn't even be worth my time. If its the first one, be direct and honest. Its not possible for everyone to reciprocate love equally...its not a fair world. She will still appreciate it as a logical human being. If its the second one.....try and make her understand,if the reason for pulling away can be explained, she will be grateful and it'll hurt less....if you don't want to explain the reason..make sure you don't leave the scene without letting her know what she means to you. or The feeling of "love" starts from friendship. Remember that. I do not want to make any assumption as to why the person you love wants to be friends - but I can tell you what you can do now. Back off a bit - I know this sounds extreme and painful, but your only option to save yourself from further grief is to step back a bit. You do not need to analyze why she is doing what she is doing, but take a step back to reassess your own feelings. Please try hard to be objective. I know you are in a panic mode right now, and your heart must be beating like it is losing the life, but I repeat, take a step back. Lull in the relationship - Sometimes the excitement wears off, sometimes people get used to each other, and sometimes they take each other for granted. The more you analyze this, the more confused you will be. It is my observation and may not be applicable to everyone, but when someone wants to go back to the beginning of a relationship, they are not feeling quite ready for emotional intimacy or are in retrospective mode or are frightened or concerned about the future. Some of us women tend to do it, and it may not necessarily mean a horrible breakup. Time is important. Tell her - That you cannot be friends, for you love her, but you are ready to move back if it bothers her. And then do as you promised. Give her space. Also sort out your own priorities. More often than not, we end up handling emotional turmoil immaturely. Brace yourself for the worst or the best. Don't stop loving her - Though some might have achieved the feat of shutting off their emotions, and flip the switch against love, it is normally not easy to just stop loving someone, dear friend. However, you do not have to express what you feel - you see, we put too much pressure on the fact that we need the other person for ourselves to be happy, when we can be happy by just loving them from distance too. I know this sounds like a load of crap - but you will get around it. Whatever I say, I say it from experience. And remember, You cannot stop someone from loving you, just as you can't stop yourself from loving someone.....such is the beauty of freewill! |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by StandUpGuy247: 12:48pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
www.understandingrelationships.com www.themodernman.com You need to understand the true nature of both sexes and learn to maintain attraction with women by using their natural instincts to your advantage. There's nothing wrong with you. Just be open minded and ready to unlearn all those b.s you see in movies and fairy tale books. And don't ever take a woman's advise when it comes to how to treat women. My sister in-law once told me that it's a privilege for a woman to want to visit you. Imagine the kind advise that one will give me |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by StandUpGuy247: 12:54pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
SavageMaster: It's orientation like this that pushes people to become desperate. A man should focus more on making money and having children at that age that pursuing marriage. |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by SavageMaster: 1:07pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
StandUpGuy247: He didn't complain so badly about money. And are you advocating him impregnating a lady out of wedlock? Hmm |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by StandUpGuy247: 1:18pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
SavageMaster: Who says man can't start having children before getting married? |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by IamNotATroll: 6:03pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
I really appreciate all your responses and advises. Means alot to me that some people will take their time and try to help. I will work towards your advises cuz, now I know I need to work on focusing on other things and set a guard on my heart. I'm still going back and forth through your comments and they really are good thoughtful comments. Thanks y'all 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by sunshineV(f): 8:07pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
Riele: Trouble Maker |
Re: How Can I Stop Loving Girls Please? I Need Advice by Smartjohns(m): 8:43pm On Mar 26, 2020 |
Be yourself, don't apologize for things you did not cause or do. To finding the right partner you need first find yourself, your purpose and goal. 2 Likes
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