Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

better bring your son. As far as we are concerned, you are the breadwinner

That's too many for someone that is struggling financially. Four

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

Vyvyanvyvy:

He didn’t do anything to him when we got home he was in the parlour watching tv and my son greeted him he stares at him and didn’t respond back. When my son was playing with both his sisters he tried to keep our 2 years old daughter away from him he took her to the bedroom and locked the door I decided not to say anything because I knew he wouldn’t keep away from him for long because he won’t take her to work with him and after like an hour my baby was crying to go in the parlour because she wanted to be with me and her siblings so he let her in and locked himself in the room. I decided to ignore his childish behaviour and slept in the same room with my children. Nothing bad has happened really

I love your kind of woman,so strong,no matter what you read here from those bitter souls you still stuck by your son.you are a indeed a mother.i know of many women that abandon their kids for a man and the kids end up bad.thank you once more for saving that boy.please never leave him with your husband for anything even though he do as if he has change never ever leave him with him.i am talking from experience.
Thank you

yeyeosoronga:


No.
The piece of hymen will be broken whenever I chose for it to be, by who I choose.
Women will lose their virginity when they want to do so.
There is no God given pride and dignity.
You create your own pride and dignity as you grow.
Yes, let the consequences stare women in the face. Life in itself was never meant to be perfect.
It's not your business what the consequences of deciding to have premarital sex is for a woman.
Worry about the consequences for you as a man, and stop policing our virginity.
Police your own premarital adventures, and stop disturbing the cyberspace trying to police others.
Women out there, have sex when you want to as an adult. However, practice safe sex. No man is worth getting an STD for . If you have a steady partner, make sure you're both tested for HIV and STI.
Also get proper contraceptive now as an adult, pregnancies can be prevented if you don't want them.

Yeye,Yeye,Yeye!!!
Are u implying that all those currently dancing to the ugly consequences of premarital sex ain't aware of the existence of contraceptives or they really wanted to get pregnant? Definitely not!

There are opinions and there are facts. Our inputs are mere opinions,and no matter the sophistication of how it's been written,it still wouldn't change the fact, which is the decay being caused by premarital pleasure. I'm only using my opinions to corroborate the fact. You agreeing or not doesn't change the fact, because it remains valid.

Before you reply with some other epistle of a defense, pls bear in mind that the plethora of people coming here to seek for opinions and words of encouragement wouldn't do so,if they could handle the consequences of their actions alone.

I quite appreciate your inputs though. Stay safe!

loshybab:

Yeye,Yeye,Yeye!!!
Are u implying that all those currently dancing to the ugly consequences of premarital sex ain't aware of the existence of contraceptives or they really wanted to get pregnant? Definitely not!

There are opinions and there are facts. Our inputs are mere opinions,and no matter the sophistication of how it's been written,it still wouldn't change the fact, which is the decay being caused by premarital pleasure. I'm only using my opinions to corroborate the fact. You agreeing or not doesn't change the fact, because it remains valid.

Before you reply with some other epistle of a defense, pls bear in mind that the plethora of people coming here to seek for opinions and words of encouragement wouldn't do so,if they could handle the consequences of their actions alone.

I quite appreciate your inputs though. Stay safe!

We will have sex when we want to, my broda
We will also use vibrators and other toys when we want to.
I always advice safe sex anyway.
Nigerian women need to take their reproductive health seriously and never leave it in any other person's hands.
There are many disease ridden people out there.
Make sure to use good condoms.
Don't use the morning after pill more than twice a month, and if you've needed to use it almost every month, time to get a long term contraceptive.
Even 16 year old girls abroad are taking responsibility for their sexual health. It's stupid to get an unwanted pregnancy and to be using abortion as your own form of contraceptive. Infact, you're not a serious somebody.

Now, loshybab.
Life is not perfect. Nobody is perfect either. We will always make mistakes in the journey of life. Some of those mistakes may even have dire consequences, but the important thing is to learn from such mistakes and grow..
Allow us grow, and learn from our mistakes and other people's mistakes.
Thank you.

yeyeosoronga:


We will have sex when we want to, my broda
We will also use vibrators and other toys when we want to.
I always advice safe sex anyway.
Nigerian women need to take their reproductive health seriously and never leave it in any other person's hands.
There are many disease ridden people out there.
Make sure to use good condoms.
Don't use the morning after pill more than twice a month, and if you've needed to use it almost every month, time to get a long term contraceptive.
Even 16 year old girls abroad are taking responsibility for their sexual health. It's stupid to get an unwanted pregnancy and to be using abortion as your own form of contraceptive. Infact, you're not a serious somebody.

Now, loshybab.
Life is not perfect. Nobody is perfect either. We will always make mistakes in the journey of life. Some of those mistakes may even have dire consequences, but the important thing is to learn from such mistakes and grow..
Allow us grow, and learn from our mistakes and other people's mistakes.
Thank you.

I have spoken ma'am...
You're welcome

BITTER WOMAN WE HAVE HEARD YOU NO BODY WILL MARRY YOU IN THIS MISERABLE LIFE OF YOURS

milliondollas:
BITTER WOMAN WE HAVE HEARD YOU NO BODY WILL MARRY YOU IN THIS MISERABLE LIFE OF YOURS

You're the bitter person here.

A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

I guess you are happy now. God will never punish him my dear, he will live long and take care of your girl. I told you to talk to him gently its a delicate matter but you followed a wrong advice. You could have sent your son to stay with your husbands relative.

Dear OP, I can feel what you are going through presently. Please try and call your husband to atleast release your little girl to you or better still get people he listens to, maybe family to plead with him to return your daughter to you.
Please calm down, you don't need all this stress considering your condition and have faith in God for divine intervention.

obakovich:

I guess you are happy now. God will never punish him my dear, he will live long and take care of your girl. I told you to talk to him gently its a delicate matter but you followed a wrong advice. You could have sent your son to stay with your husbands relative.

So you are blaming a woman for deciding to be a mother to her son. I guess when you have your own children you will understand.

Pemivy01:
Dear OP, I can feel what you are going through presently. Please try and call your husband to atleast release your little girl to you or better still get people he listens to, maybe family to plead with him to return your daughter to you.
Please calm down, you don't need all this stress considering your condition and have faith in God for divine intervention.

From a mans point of view he won't. Even if he means him killing for his little girl he will. She showed her husband how she will go to the world and beyond to save her son even risk her marriage. The husband will prove same here to protect his daughter and she admitted it here that her son steals he will also come for the unborn child later too

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

That man never loved you, save your strength after your delivery and when you are on your feet report him to human rights they will help you get your baby back.

Stay calm and be safe.

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

Vyvyanvyvy:
At the moment I don’t even care if he want to leave he is free and like I said earlier my son is more important than my marriage. My children will always be there for me and I will choose my son forever

I hope you remember this your post.

Winneygirl:


It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

I tell her for here oooo. All the women dey advice her to go ahead. She said her son steals, who will leave his daughter and unborn son with a thief
She ought to have begged him at night and explain to him how her son will suffer. After then talk to her son to change his ways. Rather she halla say she dey feed am

Winneygirl:


I hope you remember this your post.

Flesh and blood no reveal this to you

obakovich:

I guess you are happy now. God will never punish him my dear, he will live long and take care of your girl. I told you to talk to him gently its a delicate matter but you followed a wrong advice. You could have sent your son to stay with your husbands relative.

Which dirty husband's relative? Can you guarantee that they will take him in?

Do you know the condition of those relatives, and if they can afford to cope with an additional person in their homes?

Did these relatives ever look for this woman and her kids, to check on their welfare? What if the boy turns into a criminal, while staying with those relatives?

Her current husband is just being totally selfish and cruel. He had an ulterior motive, for marrying her. A person that truly loves you will see your problems, as his own and will be looking for ways to help you solve it.

There are many men who take care of extended family members and even send them to school under their roof, without asking for any payback. Those kids grow up respecting them, and even taking care of them, in old age.

So what is the big deal, in this case? The boy is NOT a parcel to be thrown about like an unwanted garbage. His mother is still alive and wants to take care of him. She should NOT be denied that right.

Winneygirl:
It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

A lot of you people just jump into the middle of a matter without reading the full story from the beginning.

This man met her as a single mother. He knew about her kids. He promised they could come and live with them after marriage, once they get a bigger apartment.

There were two kids she had, before she met him. A boy and a girl. Their initial apartment was small. The girl came to live with them, but the boy was sent to live with a relative, whose wife treated him badly that he had to steal to eat.

Later they got a bigger apartment, and the an changed his mind about letting the boy come to live with them. What is his problem? He is such a selfish and narcissistic man.

The relative told the lady to come and collect her son, because they discovered he stole to get some food to eat.

They refused to listen to reason. So what should she do? Throw the boy on the streets?

The woman has been begging him for weeks but he refused. Isn't that inhuman?

The wife is NOT even asking him to bear the cost of taking care of the kids. She has been doing that by herself and is ready to continue doing it. Yet, he still refuses to budge.

And you are here saying crap about him being the victim. It is a lie. The real victim is the woman and her son.

The lousy husband reneged in his earlier promises, and decided to be wicked to the woman and her son, by refusing to let the boy into the house. There is God!

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

I just read someone's post now on Nairaland and the person ended with not all women are mothers. I'm dumbfounded by the man's action and I know most guys here will support him but it isn't fair. Probably, his friends or comments that were written, made him decide to "man up" to the detriment of his family. I don't see why a 12-year old boy whose only fault is being borne out of wedlock should cause a man to harden his heart. There's always two sides to every story but he's going too far. Nothing beats a mother's love. My advice is just take it easy, look after the kids you're with, let go of your anger and pray. At least you're sure he's taking good care of his daughter and the other kids are being looked after by you. Don't make the kids think they're the reason for the ongoing predicament and once again pray. It's well with you.

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

Look here, you made the RIGHT decision for yourself and your kids. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

What if something bad had happened to your son? Will you be able to live with yourself? Does your husband' expect you to throw away your son, into the street or into the market?

Please pull yourself together. Go and report your husband to his family members, his parents or his friends. Tell them the whole story, that you want your daughter back and they should beg him or talk to him.

If he refuses, just wait. When he gets tired in a few weeks or a month, he will bring her back. It is not easy to take care of a toddler. The wahala is plenty.

Make sure you go to his office everyday, to wail in front of the place. Let everyone know what is going on. The shame will be too much on him. If he doesn't listen, then take it that your marriage is over.

Wait for 6 months. Then look for the social welfare office in your area or city, and report him to them that he took your child forcefully away from you.

If you can afford a good lawyer, please go to the Office of Public Defender in Lagos. It is an arm of the court. They will invite him and judge the case. And decide to hand over your child back to you. A minor must always stay with the mother, except if she is deemed to be unfit to look after the child.

Good riddance to his bad rubbish.

veykey:
I just read someone's post now on Nairaland and the person ended with not all women are mothers. I'm dumbfounded by the man's action and I know most guys here will support him but it isn't fair. Probably, his friends or comments that were written, made him decide to "man up" to the detriment of his family. I don't see why a 12-year old boy whose only fault is being borne out of wedlock should cause a man to harden his heart. There's always two sides to every story but he's going too far. Nothing beats a mother's love. My advice is just take it easy, look after the kids you're with, let go of your anger and pray. At least you're sure he's taking good care of his daughter and the other kids are being looked after by you. Don't make the kids think they're the reason for the ongoing predicament and once again pray. It's well with you.

The child was not born out of wedlock. Just that the first marriage didn't work out well.

CeterisXVII:


A lot of you people just jump into the middle of a matter without reading the full story from th nue beginning.

This man met her as a single mother. He knew about her kids. He promised they could come and live with them after marriage, once they get a bigger apartment.

There were two kids she had, before she met him. A boy and a girl. Their initial apartment was small. The girl came to live with them, but the boy was sent to live with a relative, whose wife treated him badly that he had to steal to eat.

Later they got a bigger apartment, and the an changed his mind about letting the boy come to live with them. What is his problem? He is such a selfish and narcissistic man.

The relative told the lady to come and collect her son, because they discovered he stole to get some food to eat.

They refused to listen to reason. So what should she do? Throw the boy on the streets?

The woman has been begging him for weeks but he refused. Isn't that inhuman?

The wife is NOT even asking him to bear the cost of taking care of the kids. She has been doing that by herself and is ready to continue doing it. Yet, he still refuses to budge.

And you are here saying crap about him being the victim. It is a lie. The real victim is the woman and her son.

The lousy husband reneged in his earlier promises, and decided to be wicked to the woman and her son, by refusing to let the boy into the house. There is God!

You think its easy to take another mans kid moreover a boy?? From her words you can tell she might have been rubbing it in his face that she is shouldering his responsibilities. Cases like this you beg the man and make him see reasons. You said she did well now he has gone with the girl and will come for the unborn boy too

CeterisXVII:


Look here, you made the RIGHT decision for yourself and your kids. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

What if something bad had happened to your son? Will you be able to live with yourself? Does your husband' expect you to throw away your son, into the street or into the market?

Please pull yourself together. Go and report your husband to his family members, his parents or his friends. Tell them the whole story, that you want your daughter back and they should beg him or talk to him.

If he refuses, just wait. When he gets tired in a few weeks or a month, he will bring her back. It is not easy to take care of a toddler. The wahala is plenty.

Make sure you go to his office everyday, to wail in front of the place. Let everyone know what is going on. The shame will be too much on him. If he doesn't listen, then take it that your marriage is over.

Wait for 6 months. Then look for the social welfare office in your area or city, and report him to them that he took your child forcefully away from you.

If you can afford a good lawyer, please go to the Office of Public Defender in Lagos. It is an arm of the court. They will invite him and judge the case. And decide to hand over your child back to you. A minor must always stay with the mother, except if she is deemed to be unfit to look after the child.

Good riddance to his bad rubbish.

Hope you know he is reading this where she said her son is a thief
If she decides to go hard na she go loose well,no judge will see a single mother whose husband over looked all and still took her in as a bad person

CeterisXVII:


A lot of you people just jump into the middle of a matter without reading the full story from the beginning.

I followed this thread from the beginning.
They had not reached a compromise. She told the man that her son was more important than him. She said he was acting childish.
Then she goes and brings the child to the house, a house they share, without his approval.
No one is asking that she abandons her child. Together, they could have decided where to put the child.
But she confronted the matter like a bull, going head first, and now she is wailing naked at night, trying to place inconsequential curses on him that would not hold water.

Winneygirl:


I followed this thread from the beginning.
They had not reached a compromise. She told the man that her son was more important than him. She said he was acting childish.
Then she goes and brings the child to the house, a house they share, without his approval.
No one is asking that she abandons her child. Together, they could have decided where to put the child.
But she confronted the matter like a bull, going head first, and now she is wailing naked at night, trying to place inconsequential curses on him that would not hold water.

God bless u

Winneygirl:


It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

God bless you for telling her the truth, all those people misleading her will not be there to assist her ooo.
She was forcing everything on the man and expect him to swallow it anyhow, she turned the whole thing to war and it have become war so she should be ready for the consequences.
I always knew the husband will react

obakovich:

I tell her for here oooo. All the women dey advice her to go ahead. She said her son steals, who will leave his daughter and unborn son with a thief
She ought to have begged him at night and explain to him how her son will suffer. After then talk to her son to change his ways. Rather she halla say she dey feed am

The way she was talking I already feel for the man, I said it here.
No need to curse the man ooo, after all she knew it could lead to him leaving

Pearl05:


The child was not born out of wedlock. Just that the first marriage didn't work out well.

Was she married in the first place?
Because she doesn't have any means of reaching the husband or the family which is strange if she was properly married.

But this one her marriages are failing like this, I hope it's not her fault.
I wish we will get to hear from the man

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

Next time, when people with sense are giving you advise, you will pay attention.

I hate to gloat, but I'm probably the only one on this thread who has been asking you for an update all this while, and that entire time, these silly women who are all about a fantasy life have been going on & on with their infantile rants.

When some of us were telling you to ONLY make a move with the approval of your hubby, beg if possible until he changes his mind, you chose to go with the twerps here telling you the opposite all because you dey pay rent.

Enjoy your rent na and call them to come cry with you please..perhaps some can send you a PM so they can use their influence to help you find a way to get your daughter back.

I can't pity you, sorry.

I see one of them is still busy displaying idiocy, even after your latest update.

Who the gods want to destroy, they first make mad.

Life is not a fantasy or movie you can just write to suit your ideals, and it will teach you lots how to be sensible las las.

obakovich:

I guess you are happy now. God will never punish him my dear, he will live long and take care of your girl. I told you to talk to him gently its a delicate matter but you followed a wrong advice. You could have sent your son to stay with your husbands relative.

That beg she didn't want to beg since, she go beg am now... excessively

He has left the house she's paying the rent for.
And you can't accuse a father of kidnapping his own daughter.

Maybe her supporters can come together to help her seek justice.