| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 11:51am On Mar 30, 2020 |
Resurgent2016:
While the lady had a valid point, the man also a view point as regards bringing someone with a reputation as the boy had to live with them. After all, the same man allowed her bring one of the children from the former relationship.
They need to dialogue with mutual respect, possibly with the help of third parties and find a compromise.
Instead some people here kept pushing her to openly defy her husband and she not only took the advise but also talk her husband down: saying he brings very little to the home and he can leave if he wants.
Well, the husband has left and taken what he believes he has a valid interest in. Let her prepare for a new chapter of custody battle and life as a single parent Oga, I wish you had read this story from the beginning. It was because of the man that she had to send her son to live with relatives, as the house they lived in back then, was too small, after they just got married. They agreed that he would move back in with them after they got a bigger apartment. Well, they eventually did....and for 3 years, she tried to dialogue with her husband, to bring the kid back home. He ignored her. Meanwhile, her child was being maltreated and starved where he was living with her relative. He even had to steal, in order to get food to eat. So for how long should she have continued this dialogue with the man, while her son's life was falling apart? Should the pleading and dialogue have continued for another 3 years? It takes two to dialogue, o! What would have happened to the boy? 6 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 12:15pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Afrosage:
@Op..no matter what anyone says or does just know that you are one courageous woman.You did something so many people couldn't have done...you risked doing it alone all over again for the second time cos of your child, you are a good mom dear and God will bless you...take solace in that.
He made promises to you and he broke them ....who writes off on a 12year old,not like he is a convicted hardened criminal.He is a little boy for crissake (probably acting out) and still in his formative years and can be taught better...some of us did worse at that age and was never abandoned so why does she get to abandon her baby, why should we expect that of her? just so she would stay married? just so she wouldn't be single or be judged, mocked and condemned just cos she choose her son over everything...lols.
And those saying she should beg and all sort of things...okay...lets assumed she begged, and begged..and kept begging and the man refused vehemently..what would you have her do?
lets say she was your mum and your were the little boy, you would have grown up ecstatic knowing that your mom bundled you away to relatives or to people that never wanted you in the first place just so she could keep a man when she could have comfortably taken care of you. The kind of man that doesn't have the slightest human decency to accommodate a little boy with no where else to go......God give us kids to look after them,nurture them, make sacrifices for them e.t.c and nothing whatsoever should stop us from doing that OP....it might look and feel like hell right now but doing the right thing is never easy. Dnt mind those gloating, Time takes care of everything. Thank You, o!! May you live long. Don't mind the misguided, clueless misogynists, that are applauding the narcissistic husband. Most of them are NOT married, and are still looking for a girl to take pity on their forlorn status, and put them out of their misery. They have all ignored the following facts: 1). The woman had two kids BEFORE she met the man, and the man knew all about them and accepted them, BEFORE the marriage.
2). The son was living with his mum BEFORE the marriage. He was only sent to live with a relative, after the wedding because their home at that time was too small, to accommodate all of them, along with the man. 3). The husband promised at that time to ensure the boy returned home to live with them after they got a bigger apartment. 4). They got a bigger flat, but the husband refused for 3 years, after moving into that flat, for the boy to move back in, to live with them. 5). Meanwhile the boy was being maltreated and starved, to the extent that he was now forced to steal, to get food to eat. Like you rightly asked: "lets assumed she begged, and begged..and kept begging and the man refused vehemently..what would you have her do?" That is a good question that all of the "husband's supporters club," have ignored. Instead they have spent time insulting and vilifying a woman who just wants to take care of her son, and correct his behaviour, in order to prevent him from ending up as a cultist, a robber or a criminal tomorrow. They are claiming she has caused her broken home. Does one person make a home? It takes two. The husband has not even suggested any alternative measure to resolve the situation, and has failed on all counts to even dialogue with the wife, and keep their home intact. Instead, the deluded clowns on this thread keep heaping all the scorn and blames on the woman. Well, she has made the right choice as far as I am concerned. She was a single mum for 6 years before she met this unfortunate man, who deceived and married her. She can go back to becoming a single mum again. She coped then, and she will cope again, even now. May God strengthen her. After all, there are widows who bring up their children singlehandedly, after their husband's death. Don't they cope, as long as they are supported by God? 13 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by rayvelez(m): 12:24pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
What i don't understand is did the HUSBAND moved in to THE SINGLE MUM OF 2KIDS HOUSE and chased the 12yo boy to the Mum brother house to lived. 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 12:32pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Winneygirl:
It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise. 100% 5 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 12:37pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words Madam, Save your breathe and sleep well. Nada will happen to him. You said all over this thread that your children are more important than the marriage and he can go to hell. Same husband decided his daughter is more important that the marriage so why are you crying now? The same way you are a single mother to the two kids with you, he has decided to be a single father to his daughter. Besides, he left the pregnancy for you abi? Funny how you now termed what you always wanted as a 'bad thing.' Shebi you have your son to yourself to mother as you like; you should be VERY happy It is so ironic that you knew the efficacy of midnight prayers before your actions. You better re-direct those prayers to God forgiving you and softening your husband's heart so you can be together again. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 12:38pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Pearl05:
That man never loved you, save your strength after your delivery and when you are on your feet report him to human rights they will help you get your baby back.
Stay calm and be safe. She loved the man abi? 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 12:43pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
crackkhaus:
Next time, when people with sense are giving you advise, you will pay attention.
I hate to gloat, but I'm probably the only one on this thread who has been asking you for an update all this while, and that entire time, these silly women who are all about a fantasy life have been going on & on with their infantile rants.
When some of us were telling you to ONLY make a move with the approval of your hubby, beg if possible until he changes his mind, you chose to go with the twerps here telling you the opposite all because you dey pay rent.
Enjoy your rent na and call them to come cry with you please..perhaps some can send you a PM so they can use their influence to help you find a way to get your daughter back.
I can't pity you, sorry.
I see one of them is still busy displaying idiocy, even after your latest update.
Who the gods want to destroy, they first make mad.
Life is not a fantasy or movie you can just write to suit your ideals, and it will teach you lots how to be sensible las las. It is really so sad it all fell to pieces. I told her she would be happy if this marriage ends. If she was really fine being a single mother, she would not have married the 2nd husband. 8 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 12:52pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Madam,
Save your breathe and sleep well.
Nada will happen to him.
You said all over this thread that your children are more important than the marriage and he can go to hell. Same husband decided his daughter is more important that the marriage so why are you crying now?
The same way you are a single mother to the two kids with you, he has decided to be a single father to his daughter. Besides, he left the pregnancy for you abi?
Funny how you now termed what you always wanted as a 'bad thing.'
Shebi you have your son to yourself to mother as you like; you should be VERY happy. Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. 47 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eniolorunfe: 1:03pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
See fine children  God bless you momma! You will reap the fruit of your labour and your children will bring you only Joy all the days of your life in Jesus name!!! (amen) ***A man that cannot be a covering to the woman he married has no business marrying her in the first place*** 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Graxie(f): 1:08pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. Please there are some personality you shouldn't quote on nairaland, I made it clear to myself that they don't worth my data. They enjoy ridiculing women irrespective of the f in their moniker. They project themselves as having a perfect life and they work together. I only feel you shouldn't have given them the attention they seek. Kudos dear, your kids are super cute. Allow your ex husband to be deceiving himself, since he is so useless and cannot take care of a child but will rather dump such child with his sister, please involve the law. 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Jman06(m): 1:14pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. Be strong madam, you'll be fine! See the small boy they call "thief" That man is a scammer! 16 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 1:15pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. You can imagine? He took the poor child from you just to punish you, only to dump her with his sister who will most likely not take care of her which will then make the little girl suffer the same fate as your son.
I don't know if I should call your husbands actions childish or just plain wickedness. It's well.. 12 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by dominique(f): 1:24pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Winneygirl:
Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.
They were supposed to decide 'together' where to put the child. I stand by this.
.
Since she's financially independent and can do without him, and already has her most important things in life (her 2 kids), why did she still marry him? To lord her superiority over him?
.
And while you're talking about "getting her daughter back", do you expect the man to just give up HIS CHILD?
Where does he fit in in all these?
Or Is he completely irrelevant? Marriage is not a competition, it involves partnership, mutual respect, making sacrifices for each other. If one party does not care about the other's feeling especially as a whole human being is involved, to hell with him. The Op married him because he promised to love her and treat her kids as his. The moment he reneged on the promise, she has every right to unlove him and take a walk from him. Not all marriages are worth saving. He has ever rights to the child he took, but you and I know that very few men can solely take care of a toddler. A child at that age is better off with her mum but the selfish man decided to take her to punish the woman and have her at his mercy, what kind of mentally unstable person is that? Punishing a little girl because he wants to get at her mother, we should be praying she is not physically or sexually abused wherever he dumped her because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her. You have not suggested where we should put the 12-year-old boy so the man can be happy o. Edit. I had not even read the OP's latest submission before writing the bolded part. @Vyvyanvyvy, since you know where the little girl is, don't waste any time in going for her. Delay is very dangerous, things are happening in this world o. Involve the police if you have to. See the young handsome boy this wicked man wanted to render homeless and his fellow lunatics were cheering him on. Maybe they were tossed around as children and they want the little boy suffer same fate. Bunch of evil clowns 22 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by dominique(f): 1:39pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
14 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by babyfaceafrica: 1:43pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
dominique:
Marriage is not a competition, it involves partnership, mutual respect, making sacrifices for each other. If one party does not care about the other's feeling especially as a whole human being is involved, to hell with him.
The Op married him because he promised to love her and treat his kids as his. The moment he reneged on the promise, she has every right to unlove him and take a walk from him. Not all marriages are worth saving.
He has ever rights to the child he took, but you and I know that very few men can solely take care of a toddler. A child at that age is better off with her mum but the selfish man decided to take her to punish the woman and have her at his mercy, what kind of mentally unstable person is that? Punishing a little girl because he wants to get at her mother, we should be praying she is not physically or sexually abused wherever he dumped her because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her.
You have not suggested where we should put the 12-year-old boy so the man can be happy o. He has ever rights to the child he took, but you and I know that very few men can solely take care of a toddler. Where did you get this from?.. Hasty generalization at best.. It is just like saying ladies are the best cooks because they cook most of the time 2 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by babyfaceafrica: 1:45pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
dominique:
Marriage is not a competition, it involves partnership, mutual respect, making sacrifices for each other. If one party does not care about the other's feeling especially as a whole human being is involved, to hell with him.
The Op married him because he promised to love her and treat his kids as his. The moment he reneged on the promise, she has every right to unlove him and take a walk from him. Not all marriages are worth saving.
He has ever rights to the child he took, but you and I know that very few men can solely take care of a toddler. A child at that age is better off with her mum but the selfish man decided to take her to punish the woman and have her at his mercy, what kind of mentally unstable person is that? Punishing a little girl because he wants to get at her mother, we should be praying she is not physically or sexually abused wherever he dumped her because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her.
You have not suggested where we should put the 12-year-old boy so the man can be happy o. because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her. Assumptions again... There a lots of single dads.. Just because they don't make noise on social media does not mean we don't have them. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 1:56pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
babyfaceafrica:
because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her.
Assumptions again...
There a lots of single dads.. Just because they don't make noise on social media does not mean we don't have them.
The woman in question just confirmed that her husband dumped the little girl with his sister
He obviously can't take care of a two year old, but wickedness won't let him see to reason.
You see this thing called ego? It can make a man behave like a fool. 19 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by babyfaceafrica: 2:00pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Ardar:
The woman in question just confirmed that her husband dumped the little girl with his sister
He obviously can't take care of a two year old, but wickedness won't let him see to reason.
You see this thing called ego? It can make a man behave like a fool. The woman in question just confirmed that her husband dumped the little girl with his sister And you believed her because? She has never said anything positive of the man... I have misgivings about people who always paint the other person bad and never apportion any blame to themselves..... Even the devil has a good side.. Until I hear from the man side.. All these na wash!! 3 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 2:08pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
babyfaceafrica:
The woman in question just confirmed that her husband dumped the little girl with his sister
And you believed her because?
She has never said anything positive of the man... I have misgivings about people who always paint the other person bad and never apportion any blame to themselves..... Even the devil has a good side.. Until I hear from the man side.. All these na wash!! Alright continue to wait for the man's side, you can even drag the man out from wherever he is and ask for his side, also ask the children for their own side of the story, then compare and contrast before making your final conclusion. 12 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by babyfaceafrica: 2:09pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Ardar:
Alright continue to wait for the man's side, you can even drag the man out from wherever he is and ask for his side, also ask the children for their own side of the story, then compare and contrast before making your final conclusion.
Now you are talking... What shall it profit a man to jump to conclusion of a reported case? . Enjoy your day 3 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Graxie(f): 2:15pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
dominique:
Marriage is not a competition, it involves partnership, mutual respect, making sacrifices for each other. If one party does not care about the other's feeling especially as a whole human being is involved, to hell with him.
The Op married him because he promised to love her and treat her kids as his. The moment he reneged on the promise, she has every right to unlove him and take a walk from him. Not all marriages are worth saving.
He has ever rights to the child he took, but you and I know that very few men can solely take care of a toddler. A child at that age is better off with her mum but the selfish man decided to take her to punish the woman and have her at his mercy, what kind of mentally unstable person is that? Punishing a little girl because he wants to get at her mother, we should be praying she is not physically or sexually abused wherever he dumped her because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her.
You have not suggested where we should put the 12-year-old boy so the man can be happy o.
Edit.
I had not even read the OP's latest submission before writing the bolded part. @Vyvyanvyvy, since you know where the little girl is, don't waste any time in going for her. Delay is very dangerous, things are happening in this world o. Involve the police if you have to. See the young handsome boy this wicked man wanted to render homeless and his fellow lunatics were cheering him on. Maybe they were tossed around as children and they want the little boy suffer same fate. Bunch of evil clowns My dear right from the beginning of this thread, I couldn't believe what I was reading. Adults tagging a 12years old boy thief and expecting the mother to dump him just to remain married. Some even advice her to take him to boarding school and make other arrangements. I have been telling women, you can't raise a damaged child without consequences. Majority of these people came out from dysfunctional homes and so, their humanity is gone. They don't feel any remorse when dishing out wickedness. I thank God for the Op, she has means to take care of her kids. Let her count her losses, many married women are only enduring marriage because our society sees divorcees as sinners. Let her fight to get her daughter from the sister and learn her lesson. I bet you she is even better than most Mrs. 22 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 2:52pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. First, I would advise you take out your kids from your post. Secondly, no matter how you are been cheered here, single motherhood with four kids from two different fathers IS NOT an ideal situation. Every child needs their father and mother to become rounded. You had prior experience and know how uneasy it was to fend for two kids alone mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc. hence you getting married again. I can cheer you 'power woman'!, 'go girl' etc. however, I will give you advise that would make me sleep at night because I know I will give account of the intention of my posts. Your husband accepting your daughter and telling you the reason why he did not want your son in the house tells me with little persuasion, he would have bulged and right now, you will have a big happy family. Instead, you brought him home and ignored your husband when some posters advised you to beg your husband and mend things after you brought him home telling us you did not care. Your son is 12 years old and wise enough to know what is going on around him. He will forever carry the burden to ruining 'mommy's marriage with her husband'. All we said was 'placate your husband to warm up to accommodating and fathering your son.' If your husband was abusing any of your kids or you or adulterous, this would have been an icing on the cake to end it. But for an issue that can be resolved? Madam I beg you, please resolve this issue for your children's sake. Resolve this issue for the future. I am sure the people here will not throw their marriage away for what can be mended. You are pregnant now and should be pampered by your husband and getting back rubs not stressing yourself praying at 12am for what is not. I don't know where you are living. FG is planning lockdown for two weeks in Lagos and Abuja. How do you stay at home with two kids and a protruding tummy? Mend you home and reach an agreeable solution with your husband. What conflict resolution skills are you teaching your children? How would they learn to negotiate and compromise? My goal is for you, husband and children to live together in love and unity. I wish you all the best. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 2:58pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Please to the OP's Husband,
Oga if you are reading this thread, I plead with you to go back home with your daughter and mend your broken family. A true leader does not run away from conflicts but find ways to fix it.
Your wife might have taken the wrong approach to bring her son home, but please overlook it and correct her so that your family can move forward.
For the sake of your little girl whose mother is alive and your unborn child whom I believe you will want to be involved in his or her life, go back home.
God has blessed you and will continue blessing you, don't use your own hand to tear it apart. Two wrongs can't make things right. Be the bigger person and direct your family to the right path.
May God bless you as you make wise decision on this matter.
To you Vyvyanvyvy,
Madam please stop updating the thread, dont give some people the privilege to insult and ridicule you and your husband.
Instead of praying that God should punish your husband, you can ask God to Soften his heart so that he can come home with your daughter.
Please don't stress your mind and body much because of your pregnancy. Pray for safe delivery, your kids need you alive. So stay strong.
You can reach out to your husband on phone and ask him to come back home. You both should drop your ego and pride for the sake of your kids.
I wish you safe delivery
Please remove your children's picture here, it makes no sense exposing them to the world. 14 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bukatyne(f): 3:08pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
loveymom:
Please to the OP's Husband,
Oga if you are reading this thread, I plead with you to go back home with your daughter and mend your broken family. A true leader does not run away from conflicts but find ways to fix it.
Your wife might have taken the wrong approach to bring her son home, but please overlook it and correct her so that your family can move forward.
For the sake of your little girl whose mother is alive and your unborn child whom I believe you will want to be involved in his or her life, go back home.
God has blessed you and will continue blessing you, don't use your own hand to tear it apart. Two wrongs can't make things right. Be the bigger person and direct your family to the right path.
May God bless you as you make wise decision on this matter.
To you Vyvyanvyvy,
Madam please stop updating the thread, dont give some people the privilege to insult and ridicule you and your husband.
Instead of praying that God should punish your husband, you can ask God to Soften his heart so that he can come home with your daughter.
Please don't stress your mind and body much because of your pregnancy. Pray for safe delivery, your kids need you alive. So stay strong.
You can reach out to your husband on phone and ask him to come back home. You both should drop your ego and pride for the sake of your kids.
I wish you safe delivery
Please remove your children's picture here, it makes no sense exposing them to the world. Amen and Amen! 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 3:13pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
loveymom:
Please to the OP's Husband,
Oga if you are reading this thread, I plead with you to go back home with your daughter and mend your broken family. A true leader does not run away from conflicts but find ways to fix it.
Your wife might have taken the wrong approach to bring her son home, but please overlook it and correct her so that your family can move forward.
For the sake of your little girl whose mother is alive and your unborn child whom I believe you will want to be involved in his or her life, go back home.
God has blessed you and will continue blessing you, don't use your own hand to tear it apart. Two wrongs can't make things right. Be the bigger person and direct your family to the right path.
May God bless you as you make wise decision on this matter.
To you Vyvyanvyvy,
Madam please stop updating the thread, dont give some people the privilege to insult and ridicule you and your husband.
Instead of praying that God should punish your husband, you can ask God to Soften his heart so that he can come home with your daughter.
Please don't stress your mind and body much because of your pregnancy. Pray for safe delivery, your kids need you alive. So stay strong.
You can reach out to your husband on phone and ask him to come back home. You both should drop your ego and pride for the sake of your kids.
I wish you safe delivery
Please remove your children's picture here, it makes no sense exposing them to the world. op and husband follow this advice. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 3:14pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
bukatyne:
First, I would advise you take out your kids from your post.
Secondly, no matter how you are been cheered here, single motherhood with four kids from two different fathers IS NOT an ideal situation. Every child needs their father and mother to become rounded.
You had prior experience and know how uneasy it was to fend for two kids alone mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc. hence you getting married again.
I can cheer you 'power woman'!, 'go girl' etc. however, I will give you advise that would make me sleep at night because I know I will give account of the intention of my posts.
Your husband accepting your daughter and telling you the reason why he did not want your son in the house tells me with little persuasion, he would have bulged and right now, you will have a big happy family.
Instead, you brought him home and ignored your husband when some posters advised you to beg your husband and mend things after you brought him home telling us you did not care.
Your son is 12 years old and wise enough to know what is going on around him. He will forever carry the burden to ruining 'mommy's marriage with her husband'. All we said was 'placate your husband to warm up to accommodating and fathering your son.'
If your husband was abusing any of your kids or you or adulterous, this would have been an icing on the cake to end it.
But for an issue that can be resolved? Madam I beg you, please resolve this issue for your children's sake. Resolve this issue for the future. I am sure the people here will not throw their marriage away for what can be mended. You are pregnant now and should be pampered by your husband and getting back rubs not stressing yourself praying at 12am for what is not.
I don't know where you are living. FG is planning lockdown for two weeks in Lagos and Abuja. How do you stay at home with two kids and a protruding tummy?
Mend you home and reach an agreeable solution with your husband.
What conflict resolution skills are you teaching your children? How would they learn to negotiate and compromise?
My goal is for you, husband and children to live together in love and unity.
I wish you all the best.
this is also a sound advice. Op these are the type of women you should listen to, if you are wise. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sisisioge: 3:24pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. Wow! May God bless your children...may they grow in God's own strength. Kudos for deciding to pull through. Good luck. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 3:47pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2.
I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone.
I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her, at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ?
The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ?
He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me .
You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe.
Like I said my son will always be first, no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. My dear, it is well. I feel your pain and I understand your sentiments, quite well. May Almighty God support and strengthen you. But please get a lawyer, to help you get custody of your daughter, after you give birth. You are pregnant right now, and you do not need this additional emotional stress. Do not develop high blood pressure....God is in control. Keep praying for your daughter. God will protect and prosper you and your children. They are beautiful kids..... 5 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 3:52pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
bukatyne:
She loved the man abi? If she didn't, she wouldn't have married him. She was a single mother taking care of her 2 kids on her own for a few years, until the man came into her life, promising heaven and earth. Right before the marriage even up till now, she has been the one picking up all her bills. So it is obvious, she didnt marry him for money. And if she married him for companionship, well he has failed on all fronts, to provide her with the companionship and support, she probably expected he would give her, when she went into the marriage. The man has shown that he is unwilling and unable to compromise, or seek solutions to a problem that could easily have been handled, if only he had been more sensible. 17 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 4:07pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
bukatyne:
First, I would advise you take out your kids from your post.
Secondly, no matter how you are been cheered here, single motherhood with four kids from two different fathers IS NOT an ideal situation. Every child needs their father and mother to become rounded.
You had prior experience and know how uneasy it was to fend for two kids alone mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc. hence you getting married again.
I can cheer you 'power woman'!, 'go girl' etc. however, I will give you advise that would make me sleep at night because I know I will give account of the intention of my posts.
Your husband accepting your daughter and telling you the reason why he did not want your son in the house tells me with little persuasion, he would have bulged and right now, you will have a big happy family.
Instead, you brought him home and ignored your husband when some posters advised you to beg your husband and mend things after you brought him home telling us you did not care.
Your son is 12 years old and wise enough to know what is going on around him. He will forever carry the burden to ruining 'mommy's marriage with her husband'. All we said was 'placate your husband to warm up to accommodating and fathering your son.'
If your husband was abusing any of your kids or you or adulterous, this would have been an icing on the cake to end it.
But for an issue that can be resolved? Madam I beg you, please resolve this issue for your children's sake. Resolve this issue for the future. I am sure the people here will not throw their marriage away for what can be mended. You are pregnant now and should be pampered by your husband and getting back rubs not stressing yourself praying at 12am for what is not.
I don't know where you are living. FG is planning lockdown for two weeks in Lagos and Abuja. How do you stay at home with two kids and a protruding tummy?
Mend you home and reach an agreeable solution with your husband.
What conflict resolution skills are you teaching your children? How would they learn to negotiate and compromise?
My goal is for you, husband and children to live together in love and unity.
I wish you all the best. Yes, she should take out her kids from the post, as they are still quite young, and should not be exposed to the public like this. But I disgree with this idea, that a woman cannot raise her kids on her own. Not all families will have a father and a mother. Widows have been raising their kids on their own for ages, after losing their husbands. As long as they are financially, morally and economically empowered, they can cope. It is far better to have a family with a well-adjusted hard working single parent, who can provide a happy home, with a stable balance. Than to have a dysfunctional home with 2 miserable parents who cannot get along, and create a tense, unhappy, unhealthy home for their kids. Finally, in life as well as in love.....not everything can be negotiated, or compromised. Sometimes, it is best to review your options, and cut your losses. You can teach your kids about conflict resolution in a variety of ways. But certainly NOT by teaching them to endure manipulation, inhumane treatment and emotional abuse, simply because you are striving to please a man who wants you to sacrifice the future of your son, to satisfy his own ego. God forbid bad thing! She has been trying to get the man to agree to bring her son back home for 3 good years, after they got a bigger apartment. But he ignored her pleas. So tell us, how much longer should she spend trying to "placate him," to use your own words..... while her son is being maltreated, starved of food, and about to be thrown out of his current residence where he stays with her relative? Another 3 years, 6 years or 10 years? Tell us, o! 17 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ganjafama(m): 4:26pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2. I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone , I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her , at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ? The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ? He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me . You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe. Like said my son will always be first no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life. Madam I pray you find joy, peace and if you desire, love. I hail your courage. Don't blame yourself for anything that has gone wrong. You happened to love the wrong men. 10 Likes |
| Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CeterisXVII: 4:44pm On Mar 30, 2020 |
Graxie:
My dear right from the beginning of this thread, I couldn't believe what I was reading.
Adults tagging a 12years old boy thief and expecting the mother to dump him just to remain married. Some even advice her to take him to boarding school and make other arrangements.
I have been telling women, you can't raise a damaged child without consequences. Majority of these people came out from dysfunctional homes and so, their humanity is gone.
They don't feel any remorse when dishing out wickedness.
I thank God for the Op, she has means to take care of her kids. Let her count her losses, many married women are only enduring marriage because our society sees divorcees as sinners.
Let her fight to get her daughter from the sister and learn her lesson. I bet you she is even better than most Mrs. Hmmn....so you sef, don see am? Some people not only lack compassion, they lack a conscience and common sense. And the few clowns suggesting she should ignore the sufferings of her child in order to pacify her husband, are men who are most likely NOT even married, living from hand to mouth and have absolutely no idea, of how to make marriages or long term relationships, work. Many of them are on ego trips, still looking for their next fix, or next quickie session with any babe, who has pity on them. I have had to school a few of them here, in order to reset their brains. Evil souls..... 12 Likes 1 Share |
