Dear OP/poster (That Vivvvayyyy is complex, forgive me), you are the real MVP. You are truly human. You are the kind of mother every child should have. You have not sacrificed your humanity for marital status. Whatever you decide? I will always be rooting for you.

Jman06:
What was this man's intent when he initially agreed to accept the woman and her kids from onset Why is he now reneging on the agreement with the flimsy excuse of tagging a 12years old boy a thief! If he has another reason for refusing to accept the boy, let him explain! As far as I am concerned he has not given a tangible reason! I suspect that he might have some other ulterior reasons!

Honestly, if this man was kept in the dark as par the existence of these kids, then he'll be right to react in the manner he is reacting now. His action presently paints the picture of a scammer with some sinister motives or an immature boy who cannot stand by his words like responsible men do.

For how long do you think the madam should have begged before the man agrees to accept the boy For crying out loud, they had been on the issue for three good years and the man refused! Pressure was being mounted on the woman from her brother to come and take the boy, what would you have her do in that situation

I honestly think the man was unreasonable for deciding not to take the boy in.
THOSE WHO PRIZE MUST BE READY TO PAY

THANK YOU, O!!

CeterisXVII:


God bless you 100-fold. Thank you for educating the clueless oafs on this thread.


Hehehe......

Why you dey laf I hope you read my posts on this thread from the beginning?

CeterisXVII:


I read the OP's entire post, and I have been following all the OP's responses, on this thread.

You obviously ignored this part, where she said clearly: "Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him...."

Now, what does it tell you?

1). The issue of the boy moving back home to live with them, has been ongoing for 3 years since they moved into the new apartment, because she said clearly that "3 years after we moved into a bigger apartment, my husband does not want him to come and live with us."

This means she had asked for his permission to bring the boy home over that period and he refused. Or how else would she have known that he does NOT want the boy to come and live with them?

2). When the boy was going to be thrown out, she pleaded with him. What did he do? Did he provide any solution to the problem? Did he help her to arrange for an alternative that could change the boy's situation, and stop him from being maltreated?

3). You advocated that she should keep pleading with the man. And my question still remains: "for how long?"

4). Do you have any idea what would have happened to the boy who was being starved of food and maltreated, while his mother's husband kept refusing to give consent to allow him move in with them?

5). You have seen the picture of the boy and the rest of her kids. Are you still advising that she should ignore the predicament of her son, and keep begging a man who has not shown any interest, in the plight of his wife and how she would resolve the problems, concerning her son?

Let me help you with the answer, oh well it's her cross after all she decided to be married after having two kids from another man, she deserves whatever she is getting because the man is not bad. The man did her a favor by marrying her, a whole after two. She is suppose to keep begging even if her son is thrown out or she can dump him in his father's house after all he is a thief. She would have calm down and be submissive while giving her husband kpekus every night even when her mind is not their because he owns her body. Her being pregnant and possibly developing bp in pregnancy doesn't count as long as the man is satisfied and she has a covering in the name of husband. Her kids emotional stability is very important while her son becomes a wonderer. You know most of you cheering her up will not be there when she needs a man to massage her. They don't care if she dies due to bp, they will type Rip after all, her sin have consequences. This is what you will be reading in different ways until this thread reaches 1k pages. It has been like that, no new addition.

Jman06:
Why you dey laf I hope you read my posts on this thread from the beginning?

I laughed because you called him a scammer.....

Graxie:
Let me help you with the answer, oh well it's her cross after all she decided to be married after having two kids from another man, she deserves whatever she is getting because the man is not bad. The man did her a favor by marrying her, a whole after two. She is suppose to keep begging even if her son is thrown out or she can dump him in his father's house after all he is a thief. She would have calm down and be submissive while giving her husband kpekus every night even when her mind is not their because he owns her body. Her being pregnant and possibly developing bp in pregnancy doesn't count as long as the man is satisfied and she has a covering in the name of husband. Her kids emotional stability is very important while her son becomes a wonderer. You know most of you cheering her up will not be there when she needs a man to massage her. They don't care if she dies due to bp, they will type Rip after all, her sin have consequences. This is what you will be reading in different ways until this thread reaches 1k pages. It has been like that, no new addition.

You know their modus operandi very well. They keep thinking that a woman must swallow shi'ite and ask for seconds, all because they feel her life's ambition is to please a man somewhere.....

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

Vyvyanvyvy:
I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him.

My question now to you is based off this information you provided earlier on.

How exactly do you plan to cater for three(3) children with another one on the way when you have no mother, no father, and your only two siblings dont have any love for you?

I will be right to assume that your grocery shop is run by you personally and you get your daily earnings from it which is how you're able to foot 70% of bills.
70% is not 100%.

So what's the plan exactly?

CeterisXVII:


You know their modus operandi very well. They keep thinking that a woman must swallow shi'ite and ask for seconds, all because they feel her life's ambition is to please a man somewhere.....

Now you are getting it, mark their moniker and see how they judge Marital issues. Be it from adulterous husband, cheating wife, broke husband, violence or whatever. Just mark them and see how they reason.

merahki:

I knowww
Dear OP, I love you, from the depth of my soul
God will bless you, always
Do you live in the SEast?
Dear ifyalways, good evening ma’am...please kindly read through the thread, is there anything we can do for this lady? Like, a real empowerment thing? Take your time with it, the poster is a super human and not made of glass. She is fine, regardless. So do your thing. Sorry for disturbing you. Thank you.

I have a really big problem with people like you.
You love the OP from the depth of your soul yet you're calling on someone else to do her thing like you kept slush funds in her account just waiting around to be used once you request for it.

Are you okay?

Romangalactic:

I have a really big problem with people like you.
You love the OP from the depth of your soul yet you're calling on someone else to do her thing like you kept slush funds in her account just waiting around to be used once you request for it.

Are you okay?

I don’t know, I think so though
Are you?

babyfaceafrica:


because I am 99.9% certain he's not the one taking care of her.

Assumptions again...


There a lots of single dads.. Just because they don't make noise on social media does not mean we don't have them.

There are lots of single dads for sure, but only few will raise a 2 year old girl by themselves in Nigeria. They normally conveniently dump those children with some aunt or the other.
OP has confirmed the child is with the husband's sister. They may look after her well initially that everything is hot hot, hoping things will be resolved in a month or so. However, if it starts getting to 3 months they will show their true colours and the child will be abused and treated like a 3rd class citizen especially if her father isn't dropping enough money for her upkeep and even their own upkeep join.

Romangalactic:

I have a really big problem with people like you.
You love the OP from the depth of your soul yet you're calling on someone else to do her thing like you kept slush funds in her account just waiting around to be used once you request for it.

Are you okay?

Do your thing doesn't mean the madam ifyalways should contribute money.
She is known to help with mobilising causes she believes in, and rallying all kinds of support (not necessarily financial). You will be surprised at the resources (not financial) that may be made available to this woman if people decide to reason her matter. Resources like how to get access to good public defence in her state of residence , family liaisons and conflict resolution centers etc.
The madam seems to have taken a break off NL though, cos I've also missed her posts.

Romangalactic:


My question now to you is based off this information you provided earlier on.

How exactly do you plan to cater for three(3) children with another one on the way when you have no mother, no father, and your only two siblings dont have any love for you?

I will be right to assume that your grocery shop is run by you personally and you get your daily earnings from it which is how you're able to foot 70% of bills.
70% is not 100%.

So what's the plan exactly?

Hello Vivian, please state what you need in form of financial or emotional support. There are people here who may be willing to be of help.

This is not the time for you to act tough.

Romangalactic:


My question now to you is based off this information you provided earlier on.

How exactly do you plan to cater for three(3) children with another one on the way when you have no mother, no father, and your only two siblings dont have any love for you?

I will be right to assume that your grocery shop is run by you personally and you get your daily earnings from it which is how you're able to foot 70% of bills.
70% is not 100%.

So what's the plan exactly?

She hasn't come to solicit for funds from you or anyone else on NL, so why are you asking her for a financial plan?
Do you want to give her money as laid upon your heart by the Almighty?
You can send her a PM if your mind is asking you to give her children something from the bottom of your heart.
Remember she is a full grown woman with 3 children and another on the way. She sounds like a reasonable mother.
She has her own business she is running.
I think she will be fine providing for her children.
They will not starve and if living in a bigger apartment is costing too much, she can move to a smaller one to save costs.

The truth is, if what she said is true, then the man is heartless and terrible. She is better off without him.
It seems the man took advantage of her situation which is very bad.
She should follow legal means to get her daughter.
Some men self, they no dey try.
The boy is still a kid that need all the care from his mother and a father figure so he would not be damaged. If you cant do it becuase of your wife, then do it because he is a kid.
This is a lesson to women out there to look for qualities in a man and not just appearance or cash.
If you want to know a man look at his actions not words especially his actions to people outside, what is his view about life? Is he a man that fear God and submit to God? If You marry a man that does not submit to God he will make your life miserable without looking back.

yeyeosoronga:


She hasn't come to solicit for funds from you or anyone else on NL, so why are you asking her for a financial plan?
Do you want to give her money as laid upon your heart by the Almighty?
You can send her a PM if your mind is asking you to give her children something from the bottom of your heart.
Remember she is a full grown woman with 3 children and another on the way. She sounds like a reasonable mother.
She has her own business she is running.
I think she will be fine providing for her children.
They will not starve and if living in a bigger apartment is costing too much, she can move to a smaller one to save costs.

He is obviously mischievous.

I will advice still try to reach out to the man apologies to him, do anything you can so he could come home with your daughter, there is no shame in that, yes it can hurt but for your daughter sake or else follow the legal means which is not easy but I feel, the situation is more than what you narrated here.
If the man agreed to take your children as his, how was the boy's behavior when he was living with you? Did your husband complain that he steals? If he complained how did you react? There many unresolved issues I feel you are turning a blind eye to, this man can just hardened against this boy all of a sudden.

yeyeosoronga:
She hasn't come to solicit for funds from you or anyone else on NL, so why are you asking her for a financial plan?
Do you want to give her money as laid upon your heart by the Almighty?
You can send her a PM if your mind is asking you to give her children something from the bottom of your heart.
Remember she is a full grown woman with 3 children and another on the way. She sounds like a reasonable mother.
She has her own business she is running.
I think she will be fine providing for her children.
They will not starve and if living in a bigger apartment is costing too much, she can move to a smaller one to save costs.

Thank you! They keep ignoring the fact, that if she could singlehandedly raise her 2 kids for years, as a single mum before she got married, then she can do it again.

It won't be easy but she will prevail.

I truly wish that no one else besides the OP responds to my post, that's if she wants to. I'm not forcing it.
What I don't understand is why anyone has to speak on her behalf.

funny thread..... anyway ladies and gentleman:
HUSBAND got what he wanted and is happy with his biological child being safe
WIFEY finally got what she wanted and is happy that she now is back with the child she had abandoned.

THREAD CLOSED!

Vyvyanvyvy:


Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2.

You did well. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your children are your responsibility. They are God's gift to you. Keep them safe always.

Do not ever neglect your children for any man.

Your husband is deceptive. He made a promise, even to your late mum. Yet he did not fulfil the promise.

May God Almighty give you the strength and finances to pull thru. You'll have the last laugh.

Finally, kindly remove the pics of your source of joy. Evil people abound, even right here.

kisses to them.

bukatyne:


Madam,

Save your breathe and sleep well.

Nada will happen to him.

[/b]You said all over this thread that your children are more important than the marriage and he can go to hell. Same husband decided his daughter is more important that the marriage so why are you crying now?[b]

The same way you are a single mother to the two kids with you, he has decided to be a single father to his daughter. [/b]Besides, he left the pregnancy for you abi?[b]

What danger or dire situation is her daughter in, that she needed to be protected from in the marriage? How has the husband proven his daughter is more important than the marriage?
By taking the child away from the mother and leaving her with an aunty?

At second bolded, should the husband have kicked out/removed the pregnancy and not left it in her?

You give very strange interpretations to events.

yeyeosoronga:

There are lots of single dads for sure, but only few will raise a 2 year old girl by themselves in Nigeria. They normally conveniently dump those children with some aunt or the other.
OP has confirmed the child is with the husband's sister. They may look after her well initially that everything is hot hot, hoping things will be resolved in a month or so. However, if it starts getting to 3 months they will show their true colours and the child will be abused and treated like a 3rd class citizen especially if her father isn't dropping enough money for her upkeep and even their own upkeep join.

According to OP

babyfaceafrica:



According to OP

Yes
Unless of course you believe the whole thread is a lie, a figment of someone's imaginationz concocted to help us take our minds off the covik 1-9.
Stranger things have happened on NL afterall.

dominique:


Keyword happily, you think I'd stick with someone who makes me miserable? I don't think I can stomach a quarter of the bullshits some married women suffer all in the name of keeping their marriage. Marriage will never be a do or die affair for me.



The bucket may not be enough to contain their tears when she gets custody of her daughter back, we will donate the biggest geepee tank to them

Like this one

PerfectMaster:


if what she said is true,

That's a very interesting angle we have not even considered.

What if what OP has posted here are half baked truth?

What if she exaggerated some things and deliberately left out some very vital details?

What if the boys father and family are very much around?

What if the boy used to stay with his father and step mother and not her brother as claimed by OP?

What if ...

What if ...

My scripture tells me not to pass judgement based on one sided story, hence everybody except those advising OP to pursue reconciliation are chasing shadows.

If OP's husband is reading this msg, pls let us hear ur own side of the story.
U can create a new account just to keep ur identity under wraps.
Thanks in anticipation of your response.

yeyeosoronga:


What danger or dire situation is her daughter in that she needed to be protected from in the marriage? How has the husband proved his daughter is more important than the marriage? By taking the child away from the mother and leaving her with an aunty?

At second bolded, should the husband have kicked out/removed the pregnancy and not left it in her?

You give very strange interpretations to events.

This one is epic, strange interpretations to event. Ewoooooooooo!!!

yeyeosoronga:


Yes
Unless of course you believe the whole thread is a lie, a figment of someone's imaginationz concocted to help us take our minds off the covik 1-9.
Stranger things have happened on NL afterall.

very possible.. I have seen better writers

asksteve:


That's a very interesting angle we have not even considered.

What if what OP has posted here are half baked truth?

What if she exaggerated some things and deliberately left out some very vital details?

What if the boys father and family are very much around?

What if the boy used to stay with his father and step mother and not her brother as claimed by OP?

What if ...

What if ...

My scripture tells me not to pass judgement based on one sided story, hence everybody except those advising OP to pursue reconciliation are chasing shadows.

If OP's husband is reading this msg, pls let us hear ur own side of the story.
U can create a new account just to keep ur identity under wraps.
Thanks in anticipation of your response.

You are doing well.. If I hear say OP husband say anything... Men don't naturally talk..

PerfectMaster:
The truth is, if what she said is true, then the man is heartless and terrible. She is better off without him.
It seems the man took advantage of her situation which is very bad.
She should follow legal means to get her daughter.
Some men self, they no dey try.
The boy is still a kid that need all the care from his mother and a father figure so he would not be damaged. If you cant do it becuase of your wife, then do it because he is a kid.
This is a lesson to women out there to look for qualities in a man and not just appearance or cash.
If you want to know a man look at his actions not words especially his actions to people outside, what is his view about life? Is he a man that fear God and submit to God? If You marry a man that does not submit to God he will make your life miserable without looking back.

Just say "sensible men". Not really a matter submitting to any god but having common sense and being rational

Romangalactic:

I have a really big problem with people like you.
You love the OP from the depth of your soul yet you're calling on someone else to do her thing like you kept slush funds in her account just waiting around to be used once you request for it.

Are you okay?

Back to your post
I called another person who is a Nairalander because she is “verified”. She also has sleuth skills and etc. So I was calling on a strong woman who can gather other strong people like her and I will join them and see if we can really empower the OP. You didn’t read my post well, maybe because you already find me not okay in the head . I am ready to help is the point of my post, but I know a group effort would make a bigger bang, you know? (Well you dunno). So I called another.
Now find a way to make peace with this cos it might happen

yeyeosoronga:


Do your thing doesn't mean the madam ifyalways should contribute money.
She is known to help with mobilising causes she believes in, and rallying all kinds of support (not necessarily financial). You will be surprised at the resources (not financial) that may be made available to this woman if people decide to reason her matter. Resources like how to get access to good public defence in her state of residence , family liaisons and conflict resolution centers etc.
The madam seems to have taken a break off NL though, cos I've also missed her posts.

100 percent