So I went to the neighborhood where I grew up in the north and made friends with one of the new tenants introduced to me by my mom.

I checked in on him once and I was having a good time with his kids. What's your name, I asked the first. Second. And third. It was all Yoruba names. But wifey is a not a Yoruba woman. She looked happy I must admit and I can see that the man is taking good care of her -- madam balance wella with one very big chicken wey I never see chop this year.

But I kept asking myself: why did this woman tolerate this. I honestly have no problem with the idea if I were a woman though but I just want to put myself in other people's stead who disagree with their husbands during Naming. She took the baby for 9 months in her womb and ended up calling him by a strange name. Lol.

But that aside and to the topic, as a woman, do you have problems with the fact that your children are known and identified by a regional name that you do not identify with? Like, an Igbo wife whose son is often called Tioluwani or a Yoruba wife whose son is Chukwuemeka or Danladi. I know people bear many names but people are identified with one more than others.

Blackmiserable:
So I went to the neighborhood where I grew up in the north and made friends with one of the new tenants introduced to me by my mom.

I checked in on him once and I was having a good time with his kids. What's your name, I asked the first. Second. And third. It was all Yoruba names. But wifey is a not a Yoruba woman. She looked happy I must admit and I can see that the man is taking good care of her -- madam balance wella with one very big chicken wey I never see chop this year.

But I kept asking myself: why did this woman tolerate this. I honestly have no problem with the idea if I were a woman though but I just want to put myself in other people's stead who disagree with their husbands during Naming. She took the baby for 9 months in her womb and ended up calling him by a strange name. Lol.

But that aside and to the topic, as a woman, do you have problems with the fact that your children are known and identified by a regional name that you do not identify with? Like, an Igbo wife whose son is often called Tioluwani. I know people bear many names but people are identified with one more than others.

If she no like the husbands tribe, why not marry a man from her village so that her child will bear the name from the tribe she likes?
Its silly to marry from a people you won't feel comfortable identifying with.

delishpot:


If she no like the husbands tribe, why not marry a man from her village so that her child will bear the name from the tribe she likes?
Its silly to marry from a people you won't feel comfortable identifying with.

I don't agree sir. We identify with people, not tribe. You have it backwards.

Blackmiserable:


I don't agree sir. We identify with people, not tribe. You have it backwards.

As a woman if you can't stand someone identifying your child with the name of a particular tribe, why marry from that tribe? How will a let's say Hausa woman who has a thing against her children bearing or being known by any name outside of her culture and tribe decide to marry a man outside of her own? Does it make sense?

Sixfeetbelle, do you have problems with that?

No, I don't. Marriage to me works by understanding. If you'd prefer your kids to have your tribe name, it's best to marry from your tribe. Outside your tribe means the man gets to decide since the kids will bear the man's name as their surname.

Sixfeetbelle:
No, I don't. Marriage to me works by understanding. If you'd prefer your kids to have your tribe name, it's best to marry from your tribe. Outside your tribe means the man gets to decide since the kids will bear the man's name as their surname.

Okay, just wanted to hear your opinion.

delishpot:


As a woman if you can't stand someone identifying your child with the name of a particular tribe, why marry from that tribe? How will a let's say Hausa woman who has a thing against her children bearing or being known by any name outside of her culture and tribe decide to marry a man outside of her own? Does it make sense?

I'm not trying to argue for or against, I just want to hear opinion. Thanks for stopping by lol.

Blackmiserable:

I'm not trying to argue for or against, I just want to hear opinion. Thanks for stopping by lol.

Neither am I. You welcome

Ssw on front page an indian couple that named their twins corona and covid
How do we identify these ones?

delishpot:


If she no like the husbands tribe, why not marry a man from her village so that her child will bear the name from the tribe she likes?
Its silly to marry from a people you won't feel comfortable identifying with.

Lol why are you turning it into this? It's not that she doesn't like the husband's tribe, it's about children not completely losing their identity in favour of another. It's not an unreasonable point

@Blackmiserable
Most people I know give their children names from both tribes, but it's just tradition for the child's 'first' name to be from their father's side. Maybe this is the case with your friend? But I get your point, since the 'other' names are technically 'hidden' lol. Most of these things are just down to 'custom', rooted in patriarchy, yes lol that's a story for another day, most people don't think it's a big deal, or don't care enough to bother 'changing' anything

I don't think I'm that fussed, but if there was a name that I really wanted my child to bear and be referred to, I don't think I'd be as willing to forfeit it with my husband over so called 'custom'

Those couple siddon jeje for their house living their lives, busybody like you wants to tell them what is wrong with their family.
Why not call the wife aside and tell her to fight her husband for giving their kids his tribal names.

Moreover, who says the wife cannot call the kids by her own tribal names if she wants to?

ibkayee:

Lol why are you turning it into this? It's not that she doesn't like the husband's tribe, it's about children not completely losing their identity in favour of another. It's not an unreasonable point

@Blackmiserable
Most people I know give their children names from both tribes, but it's just tradition for the child's 'first' name to be from their father's side. Maybe this is the case with your friend? But I get your point, since the 'other' names are technically 'hidden' lol. Most of these things are just down to 'custom'

I don't think I'm that fussed, [b]but if there was a name that I really wanted my child to bear and be referred to, I don't think I'd be as willing to forfeit it with my husband over so called 'custom'[\b]

I'm happy you have an understanding hubby lol. Like we all agree that names have this distinction and meaning especially when we speak the language as probably a first or second language. If you call your son Chukwuemeka, that's nice. God's ... . If someone asks the meaning and he gets told, I think he would be wowed but not as much if he doesn't have to ask the meaning because he speaks the language himself. You get my point. Names have more meaning if we don't have to ask people to interpret it to us.

If there was a name you really wanted your son to bear, it has to either be a Christened name or your tribal name. Lol. More and more people get identified by their Christian or Islamic names but methinks it is not anywhere close to tribal names, even as first name.

Hope you didn’t tell her anything. Make you no go scatter the marriage abeg.

I see no issue with it. If my husband is Yoruba, their first names would automatically be a Yoruba name. It is that simple.

Vyolet:
Those couple siddon jeje for their house living their lives, busybody like you wants to tell them what is wrong with their family.
Why not call the wife aside and tell her to fight her husband for giving their kids his tribal names.

Moreover, who says the wife cannot call the kids by her own tribal names if she wants to?

If you read very well, you'd observe that this thread is meant to get other women's opinion on the subject, not castigate or belittle the woman for yielding to the husband's way. I don't remember mentioning that I have problems with the woman's decision.

If the wife calls the kid by her own tribal name, nothing wrong with that. However, it looks like first name often takes precedence over other names.

pocohantas:
Hope you didn’t tell her anything. Make you no go scatter the marriage abeg.

I see no issue with it. If my husband is Yoruba, their first names would automatically be a Yoruba name. It is that simple.

Did someone hack your account?

Blackmiserable:


Did someone hack your account?

Nobody hacked my account. Somethings are pretty straightforward and shouldn’t be overthought. This is one of them.

sassysure:
Ssw on front page an indian couple that named their twins corona and covid
How do we identify these ones?

Lol, it's funny no be small.

Corona, yes ma.

Where are you? Ma, I'm in the parlour!!

Doing what? Playing with my brother Covid

Do you want see us? See you kwa

Punjab says no. The Hindi man calls for their banishment claiming they are not Hindis, they get to every country and the citizens are like, nah you are not a resident here. Even Whites that bear White names reject these ones.

Which way for these ones nah?

pocohantas:


Nobody hacked my account. Somethings are pretty straightforward and shouldn’t be overthought. This is one of them.

Hmm.

When your pikin grow and decides to be addressed by a different name, your eye will clear. I really don’t know what the fuss is about. Growing up, I was always meeting relatives who insisted on naming me by an obscure name they used during my naming. Some people call my son by his full name. We call him by a shortened version.

Las las, mind your business.

ibkayee:

Lol why are you turning it into this? It's not that she doesn't like the husband's tribe, it's about children not completely losing their identity in favour of another. It's not an unreasonable point

@Blackmiserable
Most people I know give their children names from both tribes, but it's just tradition for the child's 'first' name to be from their father's side. Maybe this is the case with your friend? But I get your point, since the 'other' names are technically 'hidden' lol. Most of these things are just down to 'custom', rooted in patriarchy, yes lol that's a story for another day, most people don't think it's a big deal, or don't care enough to bother 'changing' anything

I don't think I'm that fussed, but if there was a name that I really wanted my child to bear and be referred to, I don't think I'd be as willing to forfeit it with my husband over so called 'custom'

So what if your husband also wants a particular name?
The only issue here is if the husband does not permit the wife to even pick a name for her child or be involved in anything except to cook, clean and breastfeed the child.
I would rather my child bear the name of the culture he is identified with. If hubby is Igbo, and child is Olawale and child is expected to thrive in an Igbo community, how does that work smoothly in our naija? Best bet is for the child to be given a neutral name eg Nelson

@Alexandre7, pocohantas na jejely woman true true. Oya do the necessary. Don't waste tim. Yes, she'll marry you. She wouldn't be a burden. Lol.

Edit:He just left.

delishpot:


So what if your husband also wants a particular name?
The only issue here is if the husband does not permit the wife to even pick a name for her child or be involved in anything except to cook, clean and breastfeed the child.
I would rather my child bear the name of the culture he is identified with. If hubby is Igbo, and child is Olawale and child is expected to thrive in an Igbo community, how does that work smoothly in our naija? Best bet is for the child to be given a neutral name eg Nelson

That is why I said she's fortunate to have married an understanding man.

pocohantas:


Nobody hacked my account. Somethings are pretty straightforward and shouldn’t be overthought. This is one of them.

Please check your mail. I want to show you something

Blackmiserable:


Did someone hack your account?

Bros, you just asked the question on my mind. Her feminism is still on the moderate side.

delishpot:


So what if uour husband also wants a particular name?
The only issue here is of the husband foes not permit the wife to even pick a name for her child. I would rather my child bear the name of the culture he is identified with. If hubby is Igbo, and child is olawale and child is expected to thrive in an Igbo community, how does that work? Best bet is for the child to be given a neutral name eg Nelson

If my husband wants a particular name, we can discuss it, who knows, maybe he has a 'better' reason than mine. It's not a deal breaker nor a big deal in the first place for me. My point is that if the choice over a name were down to sentimental value vs just 'custom', I wouldn't be AS willing to just go with whatever he wanted, otherwise I'm not that fussed

As for the 'community' you're talking about, you're adding new factors to this discussion, I wasn't thinking of all that. Funnily enough, the OP said his friend's children are in the North, bearing Yoruba names

Blackmiserable:


That is why I said she's fortunate to have married an understanding man.

Sure. We have to follow these things by the nature of people at large and for the child's sake.

nuelyoyo:
Bros, you just asked the question on my mind. Her feminism is still on the moderate side.

As in eh, no be the Pocohantas wey I know.

Blackmiserable:


As in eh, no be the Pocohantas wey I know.

You don’t know me. You assume you do. My values and ethics are bespoke, strictly mine.

Done @ Ishilove

ibkayee:

If my husband wants a particular name, we can discuss it, who knows, maybe he has a 'better' reason than mine. It's not a deal breaker nor a big deal in the first place for me. My point is that if the choice over a name were down to sentimental value vs just 'custom', I wouldn't be AS willing to just go with whatever he wanted, otherwise I'm not that fussed

As for the 'community' you're talking about, you're adding new factors to this discussion, I wasn't thinking of all that. Funnily enough, the OP said his friend's children are in the North, bearing Yoruba names

I don't think there is any sentiments in wanting a name from your region regardless of who is doing the asking. The woman in question is a northerner.

pocohantas:


You don’t know me. You assume you do. My values and ethics are bespoke, strictly mine.

Haha, if I don't quote you, it doesn't mean I don't read your opinions, haha.

ibkayee:

If my husband wants a particular name, we can discuss it, who knows, maybe he has a 'better' reason than mine. It's not a deal breaker nor a big deal in the first place for me. My point is that if the choice over a name were down to sentimental value vs just 'custom', I wouldn't be AS willing to just go with whatever he wanted, otherwise I'm not that fussed

As for the 'community' you're talking about, you're adding new factors to this discussion, I wasn't thinking of all that. Funnily enough, the OP said his friend's children are in the North, bearing Yoruba names

They might be in the North but most likely their father is not from the North (judging by customs which makes kids identify with their fathers side as natives). There are many Chukwu dis, Emekas, Aleros etc up north and vice versa.