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Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Ishilove: 3:31pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
pocohantas:Please check your mail |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by ibkayee(f): 3:31pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
Blackmiserable:Sentiments can be attached to anything, it's usually a personal thing 1 Like |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by luwiizy(m): 3:35pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
I think that responsibility lies mostly on the man. If he chooses to share that with the woman its he's choice..... It has been so right from time..... Argue with history. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 4:02pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
Bukola, oya talk. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Nobody: 4:05pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
Blackmiserable: I don't see any fuss here, in nigeria every child as more than one name, via mom , dad, grandparent,aunty/uncle or pastor/imam. however out of these names a child is popularly known & called with one, that davido calls his son "ifeanyi" a name from the wife side does not mean ifeanyi has no yoruba name, so the woman in question must av given her tribe names to those kids ... buh they are bearly other names. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 4:21pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
ericsmith: Sir, I didn't say I am not aware of other names. I mean since the name gets to the forefront on everything official, the child is more likely to identify with it, and it is more than likely to be prominent. As the saying goes: It is better to be the king of a small town than a second-in-command. What's the point in having a name if only a small pool of people identify you by that? |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by blazer90707: 7:18pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
I would be hurt because their surname already reflects their father's tribe so therefore I would give them first names from my tribe. I can't imagine carrying a child and not being able to give him/her the first name I want. It all depends sha, as a man that truly loves his wife I don't think you should have issues with her giving the first name while you give other names |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Winneygirl(f): 7:37pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
Whatever works for one. . I do not believe that a child belongs more to the mother than to the father because she carried the child in her womb for 9 months So all these concerns about the man naming the child, thus sidelining the woman who carried the child through the gestational period... I don't get it. . What works for one home should not be the standard by which other homes follow. We need to learn to live and let live. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Nobody: 11:52pm On Apr 03, 2020 |
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Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Nobody: 1:52am On Apr 04, 2020 |
Blackmiserable: I personally don't think it should be a big deal because if two people from different tribes decided to get marry, then naming of children should have been one of the topics of discussions even before the marriage. For the inter tribal marriages I know, the children end up answering a neutral English name. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by cococandy(f): 8:21am On Apr 04, 2020 |
I would feel okay with that. If you don’t like the tribe, then don’t marry that person. The kids can have names from any tribe out of the ones you guys are from. There are no rules to these things. 2 Likes |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 11:28am On Apr 04, 2020 |
blazer90707: Thanks for honesty voicing your own opinion on this subject, lol. I know if I were to ask this same question elsewhere like Reddit, I'd get polar opposite answers to what obtains here. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 11:35am On Apr 04, 2020 |
cococandy: You don't have to like a tribe to like a person. You all are terribly mixing up human desires. I don't have to like or hate your tribe to like you. I am neutral on even my own tribe so I see no big deal in making human tribe an intrinsic part of one's identity. I could even take it a bit further: you don't have to like your spouse's personality to like them. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 11:41am On Apr 04, 2020 |
AnonymousRebec: Yeah I agree. It should be discussed earlier and that was probably why all kids bore father's tribe, but imo, that's stretching truth a bit too far. They might and might not discuss it. Do we also have to ask our wives if they would take our names? Somethings are just the norm sir. The woman did the right hand though, but I just want to hear dissenting opinion because it seems Nairaland is a bit progressive than the Nigerian society we live in. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 11:45am On Apr 04, 2020 |
Ellipsoid: If it was a joint decision, that was probably because she succumbed to the man's decision, so yes, it was a joint decision. No I didn't ask. I simply asked for their names and I got told. X, Y, Z. Whatever second or third name they have is irrelevant because even the mom called them by their Yoruba names in my presence. She did the right thing though but I just came here to hear contrary opinion. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 11:47am On Apr 04, 2020 |
Winneygirl: Yeah, whatever works for one. How about you. Imagine you're a Igbo and next thing hubby tells you is "Dear, our son's name is Mosadoluwa" would you object? |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Winneygirl(f): 12:08pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
Blackmiserable:I expect my husband to want to name the child just as much as I want to. If I was igbo and I married a yoruba man, i wouldn't expect him to say "our son's name is Ifeanyichukwu". Where you both can't settle for a name, I have some suggestions below. John James Matthew Daniel Michael Samuel David Joshua Enoch Moses Joseph Mark Paul Pharaoh Herod Judas |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by cococandy(f): 1:43pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
Up to a point that may be correct. But you have to like it enough that names from there do not irritate you. I’m not saying one should be totally in love with the tribe’s cultures and practices (especially if they are oppressive). Blackmiserable: 2 Likes |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by sisisioge: 2:02pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
So the child was named outside the husband and wife's tribe? Abi named within either of the two parent's tribe? No big deal biko... It is just a name so long as you two are happy with it. After all, English names aren't our tribal names too. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by ahnie: 5:05pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
It's just understanding between the parents.... my husband is ignore,I on the other hand is isoko... My first child has both igbo and isoko names...but she's well addressed with her isoko and she's even answering the name as her first name in school and enmarked on her certificates. The Igbo name comes as the second...her dad is the only person that calls her the Igbo name. Whilst my Son has only igbo name...no isoko name,not one. My husband really fought tooth and nail against my giving him isoko name..... It was really a big issue,but we are cool with it. Like I said...it's just understanding...and nothing more. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 6:00pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
ahnie: Haha, your influence is really strong oo Ahnie. Chai, action woman. Why did he object to your son having Isoko name? |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by forzarush(f): 6:05pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
I don't think it matters once the couple is in agreement. I and my husband are from the same tribe and our son is named after my FIL. That's his first name which most people know but he has other names and he answers to them. My husband marvels at how at 2plus he answers to about five different names,lol. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 6:12pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
forzarush: Oh nice to hear that ma'am. It actually doesn't matter but some people still see culture as an essential parts of who they are and they carry that thought with them. You can imagine Yorubas discriminating against themself (my mom point blank told my brother that she doesn't approve of his union with a woman from Kaaba) so how much more when we have to give up something as important as naming. Bidemi, Temidire, Ajoke, I'm honsstly imagining the trauma of that Igbo wife. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by ahnie: 10:43pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
Blackmiserable: Because he was scared that if i give my son my tribal name....dats the end. i cud remember vividly on the dedication day...when i went to write the names of our son to present to the pastor....my husband took the list from me..he then cancelled the isoko name,but left the english and igbo names....funny enough that was how our son was saved from been isokolized. But i kinda loved it now...because whenever the names of my kids are called...one would easily decode that its an intertribal union. Simply put...we've settled ourselves ...he has the boy,I ve the girl. I'm a big fan of inter tribal marriages. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 10:30am On Apr 05, 2020 |
ahnie: Ahnie, yesterday you no gree me sleep. I just dey read your post up to the 17th page. Your comment for diary section na die. Your hubby must be a lucky sombori and at the bolded, your hubby no send. Sharp guy, he could see that equal rights doesn't mean equal influence, so he has to exert some authority lol. Do you mind if I follow you on NL? From your comments, I understand you lived in Kano; I am job hunting there presently. Any place you'd suggest that can land me something to sustain body? Lol, do you still speak the language? And how do you understand Yoruba? This Isoko woman sef lol. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Mizwisdom(f): 10:52am On Apr 05, 2020 |
I will call them a name I chose, that doesn't stop my husband from calling them a name he picked for them. My mum always called me and siblings by the native name she gave us, her relatives also call me by that same name whereas my dad calls me by a different name, while I answer a different name officially |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 12:00pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
Mizwisdom: Oh that's good, but If I get you, the name you're answerable to oficially is neither the name given by dad nor mom? Then who gave you the name? |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by ImaIma1(f): 12:48pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
As long as they are in agreement. She married into the family, it should be fine. These days, when people ask me where I am from, I mention my LGA and husband's own as my new LGA. When it comes to naming a child, both of them should agree |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Mizwisdom(f): 1:53pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
Blackmiserable: It's my name but my dad has a nickname for me, that's what he has been using. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 1:56pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
Mizwisdom: Oh that's nice. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Blackmiserable(m): 2:02pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
ImaIma1: Both may have conflicting interests or mutually exclusive preferences, permit me to say that. It's not as cut and dry as you'd like to think. I prefer to be called tioluwani than the English equivalent, lol, but all these things abo ut name and who gets his way sha, wetin dey worry me sef? Perhaps boredom. |
Re: How Would You Feel As A Woman? by Nobody: 4:35pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
Blackmiserable:they have middle names in the mum's language na. And probably one in English It is what it is. |
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