My close friend said I should lend him some money and he promised to pay it back within 3 months. I know that he genuinely has a need for the money. The amount he requested is almost 1/10 of my personal savings, or let us say 100K dollars, but I do not have a plan to use the money anytime soon. What will you do if you were in my shoes? Should I trust him?

Is this his first time to seek for such assistance?
If yes, lend him to try his faithfulness
If no, how was the last one, did he keep to promise?

Did you say best friend?

You also stated that you know the money is for a dire need.

You said the money is just about a TITHE of your savings.

See, folk, relationships come with responsibilities and we are in each others lives for a reason.

Please be a friend indeed.

Friends lay down their lives for their friends everyday. Please help your friend. You can even surprise him by informing him that he should refund only half.

Be the miracle you want to see.

All the best. Last last all of us still never get enough.

You've said it all. I'll add that if you can make up your mind to forfeit that money, it'll be nice. Like, if he refunds me... Fine! If he doesn't refund me... Fine still! I'll do same if I were to be you. God bless you

ShenTeh:
Did you say best friend?

You also stated that you know the money is for a dire need.

You said the money is just about a TITHE of your savings.

See, folk, relationships come with responsibilities and we are in each others lives for a reason.

Please be a friend indeed.

Friends lay down their lives for their friends everyday. Please help your friend. You can even surprise him by informing him that he should refund only half.

Be the miracle you want to see.

All the best. Last last all of us still never get enough.

ShenTeh:
Did you say best friend?

You also stated that you know the money is for a dire need.

You said the money is just about a TITHE of your savings.

See, folk, relationships come with responsibilities and we are in each others lives for a reason.

Please be a friend indeed.

Friends lay down their lives for their friends everyday. Please help your friend. You can even surprise him by informing him that he should refund only half.

Be the miracle you want to see.

All the best. Last last all of us still never get enough.

OP, listen to this dude....

alright

Check my signature

nobone:
You've said it all. I'll add that if you can make up your mind to forfeit that money, it'll be nice. Like, if he refunds me... Fine! If he doesn't refund me... Fine still! I'll do same if I were to be you. God bless you

Wow, people can be so good on the internet.

So, you mean if the poster has 1 million naira and lend 100k to his friend, he should not bother if the friend doesn't pay up, or should tell his friend to pay 50k as the other person suggested, how nice can humanity be.


90% of advices here are unrealistic and pretentious.


Be sincere, how much have you given to charity since this year?

Op, lend your friend the money but let him understand that the continuation of your friendship lies on if he pays back the money. A friend that will borrow money without paying back does not value your friendship and feelings

If the money is actually what you can part with just to help him , do it with your whole heart. Do not expect him to pay back at the time he said he would but if he does that would be nice.it is always easy to come begging than to pay back.just be careful with him and watch his faithfulness.

PuZZyNegro:


Wow, people can be so good on the internet.

So, you mean if the poster has 1 million naira and lend 100k to his friend, he should not bother if the friend doesn't pay up, or should tell his friend to pay 50k as the other person suggested, how nice can humanity be.


90% of advices here are unrealistic and pretentious.


Be sincere, how much have you given to charity since this year?

Op, lend your friend the money but let him understand that the continuation of your friendship lies on if he pays back the money. A friend that will borrow money without paying back does not value your friendship and feelings

Lol! U sef see am? He didn't even stop at just lending the friend money, our chief accountant said the OP should forfeit even 50% of the loan!!! Maybe he's the friend in question

ShenTeh:
Did you say best friend?

You also stated that you know the money is for a dire need.

You said the money is just about a TITHE of your savings.

See, folk, relationships come with responsibilities and we are in each others lives for a reason.

Please be a friend indeed.

Friends lay down their lives for their friends everyday. Please help your friend. You can even surprise him by informing him that he should refund only half.

Be the miracle you want to see.

All the best. Last last all of us still never get enough.

R u the OP's friend?

Drfernandez:
My close friend said I should lend him some money and he promised to pay it back within 3 months. I know that he genuinely has a need for the money. The amount he requested is almost 1/10 of my entire savings, but I do not plans to use the money anytime soon. What will you do if you were in my shoes? Should I trust him?

You did not mention the amount involve

You didn't tell us how good and reliable he is

You don't know if he lives a modest or dirty life

One tenth of your salary is enough to use as sacrifice for the sake of your relationship

I will say give him, since it's just one tenth

But bear the following in mind, if he gets himself and give you back, good for you

If he doesn't give it back to you and is nit making any effort or feeling remorse about it, good for you too, do you know why ❓

He won't come again and if he does, don't ever give him another chance, even if it means using it to buy the last ventilator

As you are giving him, consider it a 50/50

PuZZyNegro:


Wow, people can be so good on the internet.

So, you mean if the poster has 1 million naira and lend 100k to his friend, he should not bother if the friend doesn't pay up, or should tell his friend to pay 50k as the other person suggested, how nice can humanity be.


90% of advices here are unrealistic and pretentious.


Be sincere, how much have you given to charity since this year?

Op, lend your friend the money but let him understand that the continuation of your friendship lies on if he pays back the money. A friend that will borrow money without paying back does not value your friendship and feelings

Those advice I've seen up there are not pretentious or unrealistic as said..

Ever heard of "never lend any amount you can't over look to someone if he/she don't pay"


Friendship comes with responsibility...
Of what importance is my friendship with someone if that person can't be of help to me when I'm in need..


Those advice up there are just mere common sense.. Reasoning

frozen70:


You did not mention the amount involve

You didn't tell us how good and reliable he is

You don't know if he lives a modest or dirty life

One tenth of your salary is enough to use as sacrifice for the sake of your relationship

I will say give him, since it's just one tenth

But bear the following in mind, if he gets himself and give you back, good for you

If he doesn't give it back to you and is nit making any effort or feeling remorse about it, good for you too, do you know why ❓

He won't come again and if he does, don't ever give him another chance, even if it means using it to buy the last ventilator

As you are giving him, consider it a 50/50

Exactly!!!

But @bold you mean oo

Assually money matter is tricky o as it brings out the true self of the people involved.

As a principle, I dont borrow people money I know I can not forfeit. So, borrow him if you're sure you won't miss it too much in case he disappoints.

Or, take it as a transactional arrangement where you ask for collateral in case of default. Ensure he signs something witnessed by another while handing it over.

I just really hate doing money parole with friends.

obisite:



Those advice I've seen up there are not pretentious or unrealistic as said..

Ever heard of "never lend any amount you can't over look to someone if he/she don't pay"


Friendship comes with responsibility... no
Of what importance is my friendship with someone if that person can't be of help to me when I'm in need..


Those advice up there are just mere common sense.. Reasoning

The OP has not said if he can afford to forego the said amount if his friend ends up defaulting. Just because he tried saying its just abt 10% of his "savings" does not make it intangible. But uv rightly said, he needs to consider some things before he acedes to such request cos when money issue sets in a friendship, it becomes embarrasing and totally surprising sometimes. For the OP to ask indicates his doubts and if he isnt sure, then i suggest he dashes his friend a percentage of the amount requested. With that, he expects no refund and the friendship is still kind of intact!

sisisioge:
Assually money matter is tricky o as it brings out the true self of the people involved.

As a principle, I dont borrow people money I know I can not forfeit. So, borrow him if you're sure you won't miss it too much in case he disappoints.

Or, take it as a transactional arrangement where you ask for collateral in case of default. Ensure he signs something witnessed by another while handing it over.

I just really hate doing money parole with friends.

Requiring ur best friend to sign a document may not be as easy as he might find it embarrasing. Personally, i dont like bn in such a situation so I'd rather dash u the money in full (if i can afford to) or a part of the amount so i can manage my expectations.

asapeola:


Lol! U sef see am? He didn't even stop at just lending the friend money, our chief accountant said the OP should forfeit even 50% of the loan!!! Maybe he's the friend in question

You should try comedy. Seriously.

asapeola:


Requiring ur best friend to sign a document may not be as easy as he might find it embarrasing. Personally, i dont like bn in such a situation so I'd rather dash u the money in full (if i can afford to) or a part of the amount so i can manage my expectations.

Thank you o...it is awkward. But if we are talking millions here then everybody should just recognize the transactional relations therein. Or he could say the money isn't his, he's borrowing on his behalf.

obisite:



Those advice I've seen up there are not pretentious or unrealistic as said..

Ever heard of "never lend any amount you can't over look to someone if he/she don't pay"


Friendship comes with responsibility...
Of what importance is my friendship with someone if that person can't be of help to me when I'm in need..


Those advice up there are just mere common sense.. Reasoning

Op stated 10% of his life savings is involved here. So, his question is whether to or not to considering the percentage of the amount to his total savings.

So, advising him to loan the money and pretend like he never lent the money to his friend and count himself lucky if the said friend later pays is equal to advising him not to loan the money to his friend at all.

Who in his right senses will loan someone 10% of his life savings when the probability of repayment is very low.

Sorry, I am an economist. Risk is one of the major determinant of remuneration

asapeola:


Lol! U sef see am? He didn't even stop at just lending the friend money, our chief accountant said the OP should forfeit even 50% of the loan!!! Maybe he's the friend in question

I don't know that people can be really this nice


LOL

frozen70:


You did not mention the amount involve

You didn't tell us how good and reliable he is

You don't know if he lives a modest or dirty life

One tenth of your salary is enough to use as sacrifice for the sake of your relationship

I will say give him, since it's just one tenth

But bear the following in mind, if he gets himself and give you back, good for you

If he doesn't give it back to you and is nit making any effort or feeling remorse about it, good for you too, do you know why ❓

He won't come again and if he does, don't ever give him another chance, even if it means using it to buy the last ventilator

As you are giving him, consider it a 50/50

You got the point.


Op should loan if he can afford to let go of the money.

But should the friend betray his trust, that money should be used as a settlement for being a wonderful friend all along.

I don't like what I hate

sisisioge:
Assually money matter is tricky o as it brings out the true self of the people involved.

As a principle, I dont borrow people money I know I can not forfeit. So, borrow him if you're sure you won't miss it too much in case he disappoints.

Or, take it as a transactional arrangement where you ask for collateral in case of default. Ensure he signs something witnessed by another while handing it over.

I just really hate doing money parole with friends.

Hi, I sent you a PM.

Drfernandez,
I'm going to share my experience with you in one sentence like many others have done:
Do not part away with money that you're not willing to forfeit.
Now there are exceptions to that:
1. You can lend easily to someone with whom you've had a good history of lending/paying back
2. You can lend easily to someone that you're sure of their income and their behaviour when it comes to money matters; You may need a 3rd party to act as arbiter in you're not sure of their temperament
3. If it's a business partner, sign a fudging legal agreement

Since this person is your best friend, number 2 seems in order for you provided they meet the conditions stated therein ELSE go with the main rule and lend what you can afford to lose.

Bamz:


Hi, I sent you a PM.

Sorry I forgot to respond. Will do so shortly.

What's his source of income? Can he pay back in 3months? Be realistic. Finally if you cannot part with all,part with something since you are sure he needs the help. Sometimes you take a risk for someone else well being. But let it come from your heart.

asapeola:


The OP has not said if he can afford to forego the said amount if his friend ends up defaulting. Just because he tried saying its just abt 10% of his "savings" does not make it intangible. But uv rightly said, he needs to consider some things before he acedes to such request cos when money issue sets in a friendship, it becomes embarrasing and totally surprising sometimes. For the OP to ask indicates his doubts and if he isnt sure, then i suggest he dashes his friend a percentage of the amount requested. With that, he expects no refund and the friendship is still kind of intact!

The Op is skeptical of loaning..

He made it clear, the friend is dere need,

He should loan what he knows he can overlook incase the friend couldn't refund..

My point is... He should render the help base on his capacity to forgo.

Simple truth;-borrow him d amount you can afford so if he refuse to pay back..u ve notin to worry about.shalom

Only borrow him the amount you can let go, in case things go south. Let him go and source for the rest somewhere.

I'm never borrowing any money I can dash out.

9ja people no de like pay debts

obisite:



Exactly!!!

But @bold you mean oo

Lol, it's just am illustration, but he understands

The only thing you can do for a Nigerian, whether friend or family is to borrow or invest only what you can afford to lose.

People are too unreliable. They always come promising and begging. After giving them the money na so so story.

I only give what I can afford to lose, no sentiments, irrespective of whom you are to me.

lend/give without any expection of him returning it, by so doin u ll save urself d stress of hurt or disappointment if he doesnt pay back.

and remember you can b in his shoes someday, so do wat u gat 2 do.

The kind of advise I see these days on nairaland ehn. Two things. It's either the current users of this platform don't have sense like that or they're birds of same kind.


10 percent of anyone's savings is not something you just give out to someone in the name of borrow. It took you the OP a great discipline and sacrifice to lay aside that money. One other thing you should know is that some people thrive on borrowing and never paying. It's in their DNA. At times they even borrow from you to save in their account while others don't make any effort to increase their financial status because they know they can always borrow. Another thing you should know is people hardly pay back money borrowed in the large sum they collected it. They'd pieces the money while giving you back so you will not use it to do anything. All these scenarios I'm giving you is for you to understand what you're about to do. You know your friend very well, if he's really in need and has a clean track record of not being a leech you can decide to give him something you know even if he doesn't pay back the friendship will not be ruined or give him all he asked and hope he behaves responsibly by paying back. You can also decide to not give him at all. The ball is in your court. But no one should come here and say "is it not your friend? Help him na, leave the money for him na" like all these okoto meow I'm reading up there. People be acting like money grow on trees. mtchwwwwwww

Give him what u can afford to dash.