Very useless equality bullshit. The system was actually made to destroy the very essence of marriage.

wjxavier:
Can I buy you a drink?

In America, if you break up, she gets 70% of your networth.

The system does not support normal family tradition. Useless equality BS.

Crispels

come o....your thread has made it to frontpage, for once the mods have put something senible on front that doesn't have the following words...BOBRISKY, COVID 19, SNAKE, BUHARI, MURIC, TACHA etc

Dearlord:



I am afraid that in our today's world we don't understand what love is all about.

True, one party is always trying to outsmart the other. I don't know how it all went wrong

Love is beautiful.

Crispels:


Lol. Not all black Americans are like that tho. I have great black American friends. The problem is: so many Nigerian immigrants come here “extremely hungry for success” and they end up achieving a lot within a short time - which sometimes lead to tension between immigrants from Africa and native black Americans. They believe we are taking their positions in America after our ancestors sold them during slave trade and that we didn’t experience the difficulties they experienced - slavery, fight for civil rights and stuff like that.

Many Nigerians abroad are also too loud as well - they tend to show off their landmark successes and some now have the mentality that “if an average Nigerian can come from a village in Nigeria to become an Engineer or a Millionaire(in dollars) in the US, then any native black American who is struggling to be somebody in life as an American is lazy and unserious”. The black Americans hear and see these things and they feel insulted that after we(not us but our ancestors tho) sold them to slavery, we still have the effrontery to come to America to ride them anyhow we like. They believe Nigerians thrive in America because they made it possible for us: they are the ones who fought for equality in the US and stuff like that.

That is why many black Americans feel weird when some statistics show that over 77% of black doctors in the US are Nigerians and that majority of the blacks being admitted to ivy League schools are Nigerians and Nigerian - Americans. They feel that we are reaping where we did not sow and many of our fellow Nigerians are also not humble enough about their successes. They blow their trumpets so loud that it invites envy from black Americans and even immigrants from other African countries.

About two months ago, I was in Washington DC when one of my professors(who is a White American) confessed to a diverse gathering of people that Nigerians are very smart, hard working and talented(I was the only Nigerian there). Immediately after my professor said it, one other African immigrant there began to feel uncomfortable and she had to say it publicly that “Nigerians have not done or achieved enough to earn the hype people have for them in America”. I just smiled and kept quiet. I’ve learned not to be too loud about myself in the US because when they see that you are moving faster than them, they may begin to see you as a threat and plot bad things toward you. Many Nigerians abroad also need to learn this - it’s better to be humble and not make noise about your achievements.


In the end, as a Nigerian in the US, I do not have any superiority or inferiority complex towards anyone - regardless of race,nationality, sex, orientation or social status. In fact, it saddens my heart when I see African immigrants and black Africans having misunderstandings. The reason being that: these black Americans are also our brothers and sisters if we want to be true to ourselves. All my black American friends have Nigerian DNA. In fact, some of them are over 87% Nigerians(according to the results of their ancestry/DNA test). So, I see no reason why we all(black Americans, Nigerians, Nigerian -Americans, all African immigrants) cannot love each other and support ourselves.

Many Nigerians and Nigerian -Americans need to be more humble about their phenomenal successes as well albeit people should not try to downplay the immense efforts, pains, sacrifices, hard work and drive that most Nigerians abroad pour into life to achieve great things.


[/b]Finally, we all should not dwell in the past. We cannot change what happened during the slave trade - it was an unfortunate incidence but that is now history. More so, we were not the ones that sold them into slavery and not all African immigrants have condescending opinions about black Americans. Majority of us love them and we see them as a part of us. African immigrants should see black Americans as their brothers and sisters, vice versa. We all need to work together and put our differences/biases aside. [b]

IN THE END, WE ARE ALL AFRICANS! ONE LOVE!!!

i am not the best person with the usage of words.but I must rate this your write-up as THE PERFECT WRITE-UP EVER.

Crispels:
ON A FINAL NOTE:

Dating abroad is totally different from dating in Nigeria. There are lots of cultural differences and you must really understand these differences before shooting any shot - otherwise: you will make terrible mistakes that may ruin your reputation, mental health and growth. You may even be hated and ghosted by certain people. In America for instance, dating apps is a big deal and things happen so fast - compared to Nigeria where on the average, things take longer.

If you are a Nigerian guy and you think it is the sole responsibility of your girlfriend(wife) to cook and take care of the family - then your stupi**d patriarchy mentality will fail you big time abroad.
Most Nigerian - American girls dislike some Nigerian guys (particularly those who grew up in Nigeria) due to this kind of patriarchy and “male dominance” mentality. Many Nigerian - American girls as a result of strong upbringing by their families can cook really well(even our egusi and other Naija food) but they will hate you if you make it look like it’s their responsibility to cook for you all the time. You must also get to the kitchen - do the dishes, wash the meat, clean the tables and even cook some food as well! Everything is 50-50 in America!!! Your wife(or even girlfriend) is not your slave and it’s high time most Nigerian guys(even those based in Ibadan, Uyo, Kano and Enugu) start realizing this.

WE NEED TO TREAT OUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, JEWELS AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE KITCHEN, THEIR CAREERS AND IN EVERY OTHER AREA.

The first thread is the reflection of the actual reality of Nigerian female home and abroad.....the fact is that; things have really changed....Nigerian men have always been responsive, responsible and committed but our women are becoming more entitled crazy, they want what they can offer themselves......

From personal experience with ladies in Nigeria and abroad (Canada precisely).....that why I understand what the first thread was talking about even beyond the text......but trust Nigerian women.....always defensive


The truth is both genders in Nigeria always compare and contract what they have/situations to their perception from foreign movies........a system that is bias to marriage.......foreign TV programs is what is driving us mad in Nigeria.....hence the disappointment to our mental expectations.

The Nigerian women are judgemental, rude, entitled, don't want to do anything for any guy, those that do must be sure you're up to a certain standard, to top it up, they perform below expectations, they give less value of what you invest in them and still be entitled on your aspiration.......on the other hand, Nigeria men also see what other foreign women does to their men as well.....

The fear of Nigerian men is that.....considering our cultural expectations for men to be responsible for everything from start to finish in a relationship to Nigerian women....if we allow all the overseas law that support women against men........our society will become a disaster......

Even the equality in these developed country does not even make sense........imagine....the law protect women against any kind of assault........every sexual relationship between two adults is presumed to be consensual by law as far as there is no report of rape. at the same time considered one gender to be vulnerable......one expect a union to be dissolved/resolved without one part badly affected.........for example....a marriage that produced two kids should be shared to the spouse without one been indebted to the other party.......


Nigerian men cooks, clean, wash dishes, pet kids even for a complete full house wife......

First of all, the most friendliest people to ever come across on American campuses are Nigerians.

It's a blatant lie that they didn't want to associate with you because you're 'fresh out off boat'.

Everything you said is quite a huge lie and exaggerated.

You will not judge other Nigerians based on your experience with perhaps a small community college somewhere in America.

I have a lot of Nigeria friends. In fact, had quite a lot of them when I was still in college, even at medical school. They had great experiences in American college campuses. They had boyfriends of which some of them are married to their boyfriends today. Not all Nigerian college student come from a rich and influential family. Just to oppose what you said.

Another big fat freaking lie is where you said by the time they are 25 the guys they rejected at 22 are now making 7 figures. Where exactly in America are graduates with three years experience making 6 figures talkless of 7 figures? Are you insane? Even most surgeons with 20 years experience don't even make 6 figures talkless of a fresh graduate. If you are able to make $35,000 a year for at least three years just thank God.

I don't know who you are and what you are trying to achieve by writing this. Your write ups are totally exaggerated lies. Please do your research on Nigerian international students in America. Conduct your study and research from at least ten campuses and cities about Nigerian students-life in America before making your conclusive statements that is based on your own personal experience.

Nigerian students are not lonely. You are in college to study and work if you are available to work off campus or work-study on campus. It's not a Nigerian campus or college where some people's aim of going to college is to make boyfriends and hang around sugar daddies.

American college is real! What you write is what you get. No one has time to fool around after huge financial aid one took to study. No time to sleep around on campus when majority of them are studying and working part time or fulltime while maintaining their good GPAs.

If you got into American college with the mindset of making boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, talkless of marriage you are the biggest joker of the century. Do that sh#t in Nigeria.

Average American college student graduates at the age of 22 or 23. They get a job and start a career before talking about marriage. Some might want to go to graduate school or medical school, but Americans dont waste their money chasing a master degree or PhD while they dont have a good paying job first. They dont even give a hute about masters or PhD. Only Nigerians do care about them without first getting a job experience and skills. I finished my four year degree at the age of 21.

My point is that Nigerian students in America should focus on their studies. But they are not lonely.

Check most of the animals , it is a natural instinct of the female species to Take Care of the Family especially the children But Humans want to change it because it's "male dominance ". Bittered and lazy set of women! I pray they get that equality they are looking for- alongside the curse it brings.


Bro. Nice write-up ! I learnt slot

Nairalanders no dey sleep again...see views by this time. I am sure most are the abroad guys.

Walks into thread.


Hello fine guys.



Orekelewa is her in Nigeria for you

But the ladies have said his write up is balanced now, according to them oooh. Very selfish set of species. And na them America and western world carry all their power give. Men are in trouble.

bezimo:


Why didn't you balance it by saying as a Nigerian girl if you arrive America/Canada with your lame ass bitch mentality that is self entitled you are also very stupid..as that mentality don't work in America/Canada dating culture.

Fantastic how you completely ignored the activities of the Nigerian girls OP tried to relate to when he first arrived.

Your one sided observation is good for the trash can.

OP was so objective but you are definitely not.

SweetCunt97:
Yes! Nigerian men need to drop that male dominance bullshit. You both can't be working and you expect her to slave away in the kitchen all by herself while you watch television.. No no no.

Anyways, we'll get there some day, afterall the west had male dominance some decades ago before the rise of feminism breaking their women free from the shackles of male dominated oppression.

WeRblessed:
First of all, the most friendliest people to ever come across on American campuses are Nigerians.

It's a blatant lie that they didn't want to associate with you because you're 'fresh out off boat'.

Everything you said is quite a huge lie and exaggerated.

You will not judge other Nigerians based on your experience with perhaps a small community college somewhere in America.

I have a lot of Nigeria friends. Had quite a lot of them when I was still in college. They had great experiences. They had boyfriends of which some of them are married to their boyfriends today.

Another big fat freaking lie is where you said by the time they are 25 the guys they rejected at 22 are now making 7 figures. Where exactly in America are graduates with three years experience making 6 figures talkless of 7 figures? Are you insane? Even most surgeons with 20 years experience don't even make 6 figures talkless of a fresh graduate. If you are able to make $35,000 a year for at least three years just thank God.

I don't know who you are and what you are trying to achieve by writing this. Your write ups are totally exaggerated lies. Please do your research on Nigerian international students in America. Conduct your study and research from at least ten campuses and cities about Nigerian students-life in America before making your conclusive statements that is based on your own personal experience.

hi dear

Correct. He makes it seem like all the western ladies are like that. You go even see that pretty lady for there wey go prefer stay home and take of the kids while you go work, if that is how you want it as the man of the house.

anonymous1759:




I don't support that kitchen aspect. We can't do the cooking 50/50. I can support but it's not my responsibility to cook as a man . I stand with my African culture.

Crispels:


Lol. Not all black Americans are like that tho. I have great black American friends. The problem is: so many Nigerian immigrants come here “extremely hungry for success” and they end up achieving a lot within a short time - which sometimes lead to tension between immigrants from Africa and native black Americans. They believe we are taking their positions in America after our ancestors sold them during slave trade and that we didn’t experience the difficulties they experienced - slavery, fight for civil rights and stuff like that.

Many Nigerians abroad are also too loud as well - they tend to show off their landmark successes and some now have the mentality that “if an average Nigerian can come from a village in Nigeria to become an Engineer or a Millionaire(in dollars) in the US, then any native black American who is struggling to be somebody in life as an American is lazy and unserious”. The black Americans hear and see these things and they feel insulted that after we(not us but our ancestors tho) sold them to slavery, we still have the effrontery to come to America to ride them anyhow we like. They believe Nigerians thrive in America because they made it possible for us: they are the ones who fought for equality in the US and stuff like that.

That is why many black Americans feel weird when some statistics show that over 77% of black doctors in the US are Nigerians and that majority of the blacks being admitted to ivy League schools are Nigerians and Nigerian - Americans. They feel that we are reaping where we did not sow and many of our fellow Nigerians are also not humble enough about their successes. They blow their trumpets so loud that it invites envy from black Americans and even immigrants from other African countries.

About two months ago, I was in Washington DC when one of my professors(who is a White American) confessed to a diverse gathering of people that Nigerians are very smart, hard working and talented(I was the only Nigerian there). Immediately after my professor said it, one other African immigrant there began to feel uncomfortable and she had to say it publicly that “Nigerians have not done or achieved enough to earn the hype people have for them in America”. I just smiled and kept quiet. I’ve learned not to be too loud about myself in the US because when they see that you are moving faster than them, they may begin to see you as a threat and plot bad things toward you. Many Nigerians abroad also need to learn this - it’s better to be humble and not make noise about your achievements.


IN THE END, WE ARE ALL AFRICANS! ONE LOVE!!!

Thank you for this.

HeavenlyCherub:


Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

Your story is very touching.
Being taken advantage of.
God will give you a perfect mate.

Just allow him to be writing in the nonsense just to look woke and acceptable to these females that are always about themselves. When they shout EQUALITY it means it is what is favouring them most of the time. Go check out how they destroy their men through marriage and eventually, divorce.

IHate9jerianss:

The guy is a weakling.
Didnt you see the part in his silly write up where he insinuated successful Nigerians in the US should be apologetic to worthless black Americans for being successful?
He also wants Nigerian men to treat their cunty,arrogant female counterparts like queens when those same women treat Nigerian men like poo both at home and abroad

So that you’ll go there and take his house and his life resource because the law backs your lazy ass?

fatymore:
Any abroad base looking for wife in Nigeria?

Come and marry me

Interesting Thread.

The loneliness can be real oo. Here in Australia, to see sure 9ja babe sef hard.

Any one with one should link me up.

Thank u.

uuzba:

Then define what is normal
Because tomorrow, you will swear that you are normal and the other person is abnormal. And that is another source of relationship problems.

I will agree with you on that, but let me tell you this
Long time a ago after experimenting on human material and immaterialistic want, a certain spirit blew my brain and told me that we are all like mother board programmed at a certain limit to operate with our wisdom , and if we try to make use of our wisdom beyond the stated limit we become abnormal and start retrogressing .

oshaosha2014:
So that you’ll go there and take his house and his life resource because the law backs your lazy ass?

Lol....


I will stay Here in Nigeria now...

The Nigerian wife.


And I don't have a lazy ass.

My ass is for sitting down in my office and working/fending for myself.

missimelda01:


You don't have the ability to vex me, I don't know you and you don't know me

I know you from this place as a troublemaker

Laghima:
Well,

Most women are hypergamous in nature which means: they naturally gravitate towards a male better than 'em(all round or in whatever they deem necessary), and this makes sense because they need to ensure they give birth to solid kids who can fight and win over the world and eventually protect 'em when they're old and too weak to fight - this might be on a subconscious level though.

More so, the guys they set for themselves are usually high value males and just like everything of high value in this world, are a scarce commodity.

The thing is: most people go to the abroad to better their lives(male and female included), therefore our males would want to wed a woman who can foster their life and career prospect while our females would also want to do same, but a woman only gets more unlucky with love and the opposite sex with more turn-downs unlike a man due to...(reason in my last paragraph).

The only thing that stands as a favour to men and detriment to women is age. Men age like wine while women age like milk. The older a man gets, the more his chances of becoming more successful due to his many trials and errors in life and also due to his life experiences and the more successful a man is(regardless of age) the more his chances and prospects with women while, the older a woman gets the lower her chances with men(with the exception of gigolo's who are the male version of prostitutes)

Pansophist: Don't tell me you created a different account?

You want to go over there to take away his resources a i, after finishing out the whole of America gives you the leeway to Bleep him over You better find your own way and stop looking for that American fool you can destroy his life by just lying against him.

Gracejeri:
Hello oo whose there, I need an abroad based guy to marry.. Not a student please, I'm willing to relocate and work for us to grow big over there.. Nigeria is kinda hot

OP @crispels,

Don't listen to boys praising you telling you that you are very intelligent by starting this topic. The truth is that your topic favours males so they will praise you and tell you that you made sense.


All you did was blame women in your entire write up for foreigner lonliness.
Oh girls are snobs, girls are rude yenyeneyenyen.

As if Nigerian men are saints. You think Nigerian men don't do stupid things to Nigerian girls on diaspora to discourage them from dating Nigerian guys?
You think men are blameless or why did your write up not say anything about the negative things men do to women.


I don't blame you I blame that mods that is too fast to carry women bashing topics to front page making the thread starters to think they actually have sense.

helinues:


That only applies to serious minded people.



Above average Nigerians girls whether home or abroad always set unrealistic wishes.. My husband must be rich, he must have cars and houses before we get married, my sister, na Alhaji fourth wives you go be las las



You can't give what you don't have.. We practice fake love in Nigeria due to our hypocrisy hence failure in friendship not to talk of relationship

(4).

The real bitter kola to average Nigerians.. We act and pretend what we are not.

Staying real and true give one true happiness .

Don't mind them. I'd have married a senator's daughter but she messed up because i wasn't from a rich home. Thank God today, I've surpassed her expectations. Single ladies must understand that Rome wasn't built in a day. I married and lived in a one bed apartment with my wife for a few years. Now, we have houses in choice locations on Lagos. I had my MSc in Buffalo, upstate New York. Incidentally, years after we lost contact, we met again in Bufallo and she was still single, but also doing well. After my programme, I came back home. I was already married before I went for my master's degree. A few years after my return, i established my business.

By the way, a newly married pretty lady omce came to a hospital to see a gynaecologist. Incidentally, my Dr friend was the one who attended to her. She lamented that her husband's manhood was so tiny, week and small, almost making it impossible to father a child. She was crying as she shared her experience with him. She said all her life, she's had craved a tall guy to marry, thinking his manhood too would be impressive as that was what she always wanted. When she eventually found one, a handsome young guy who had achieved so much at such a young age , her problem was his small manhood.

My friend had to sit her down and educated her, that size and height don't determine the size of a manhood. In fact, a dwarf might have a much longer manhood than the tallest man in the world. He said this could be hereditary as well. My son doesn't wear a pant anymore at age 6
Maybe because he had the tendency of being endowed lol. I stopped wearing one too at his age. My Dr friend shared with her the story of one crippled man whose manhood was huge and very long. He said he had 3 wives and they all loved him but one of them always complained that his manhood was too big for her as she often got injured by it each time they met. On the weak erection issues, he prescribed some drugs, whilst he still advised that the man showed up for medical diagnosis to ascertain the root cause of the weak erection. The lady couldn't prevail in bringing the husband as he refused to show up according to her.

oshaosha2014:
You want to go over there to take away his resources a i, after finishing out the whole of America gives you the leeway to Bleep him over You better find your own way and stop looking for that American fool you can destroy his life by just lying against him.

But wait...were you hurt and your resources taken away...cos I don't understand this bitterness from you

missimelda01:


True, one party is always trying to outsmart the other. I don't know how it all went wrong

Love is beautiful.

lol, for me I see it as the evil force trying to control our whole being making us to get worn out physically and emotionally so that our BP will be so high and it will make us age fast, get angry and do what will make us die fast so that another offspring will continue the cycle.

Nigerians are obsessed with "abroad"

Tell people the whole truth. Its easier for men. Several unmarried ladies in their 30s keep asking if I know any guy even in Nigeria. They get to their 30s and dont mind helping a keke driver with papers so they can get married, as long as he is at least presentable. They may even pay for the wedding.

wjxavier:
Can I buy you a drink?

In America, if you break up, she gets 70% of your networth.

The system does not support normal family tradition. Useless equality BS.

Then the men should sign prenuptial.
That's what saved Donald Trump, after his first divorce to ivankas mum that cost him over $400million. He said he learnt a very big lesson.

So his subsequent marriages you must sign prenuptial agreement with him. Not touching any of his assets.

Call 08080939463

This one is not pussy whipped like the OP lol. This is how a real man communicates. If she doesn’t not agree to your rules as a man it is better you bothe part ways. Besides, men don’t run on any biological clock, with time, he’ll get the lady that suits him, and younger too.

SocialJustice:
Lol, support in the kitchen indeed. Patriarchy is a really fancy word. If she can't cook she should say so, don't expect me to wash plate or do any crazy shore. Why won't it be like that when men instead of supporting their wives to succeed while she takes care of him, instead try to make her cook, cleaner and still expect her to carry on financial responsibilities. Some guys are just shameless.

I intend to marry a white lady when I find the chance and finance to run my post graduate degrees. No woman should expect me to assist her in the kitchen unless it is to eat. It is her exclusive duty to cook for me, if she's too tired to then she can chill and shouldn't cook under duress. She's not my 50:50 partner. I am the head of the union and she's there to help the head succeed while the head provides protection.

This 50:50 partnership is the reason Western societies are so dysfunctional at the family unit.

Everybody should practise what works best for them. My wife can't be my 50:50 partner and I don't even have to say it for her to know. If she's not cool with it while we're dating, she can move on.