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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone (6858 Views)
Why The Rich Don't Help The Poor / "The Only Thing You Didn't Borrow Is Your Beard" - Lady Drags Man / If You Don't Love Him, Don't Take His Money (2) (3) (4)
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Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by tintedniggz(m): 6:08am On Jan 14, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:Quick one, what was the age difference between you two? |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by SachaBastien(m): 7:28am On Jan 14, 2019 |
Don't infect other women with your bad luck. You tried love, it failed, try again. One man and here you are berating all men. You don't want to find yourself ageing and alone. There are some poorly trained and ill-mannered men out there, we all know that but it's not enough reason to ask women not to invest in or help their man. Love is built by both parties. Look out for the values you desire that are there, not the ones you foist on the man. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 8:27am On Jan 14, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Biglittlelois(f): 10:23am On Jan 14, 2019 |
It''s really painful when a lady is willing to start up and be supportive of her man and he is not grateful or appreciative of it. 2 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by harry2sexy(m): 10:49am On Jan 14, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:Now you know how it feels when men get irritated by parasitic broke ladies...stick to your class.EOD 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by emmaodet: 12:18am On Jan 15, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: It is very funny how you people use one excuse or incident to justify your actions. Can you imaging only one relationship with a broke guy that didn't work out and you people are very fast to rubbish subsequent broke guys and vow never to have anything to do with them, shame! Shame!! Shame!!! Just like the way my wife's sister dated a struggling guy and for some reason didn't work out and she vowed never to date struggling guys again and went for a white guy working in oil and gas, the white guys is always showering her with gifts and money (afterall that is what she is looking for before as far as am concerned), she said before she ask A, the white guy would have given her A, B, C (can you imagine?) An average nigerian girl is wicked and selfish, do you know how many broke, lazy, uncultured, loose girls men have dated and the relationship didn't work out? Millions and they didn't chicken out like women, they didn't quit, they didn't surrender. They cried, lamented as usual(as you can see and confirm from there lamentations on nairaland) then pick up their self and move on, try the next relationship etc. But for the ladies, it is a very good excuse to exit the good road and start passing the unlawful one way road at high speed why her fellow law breakers cherr her up and keep on encouraging her 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 12:36am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub: Chaiii I come dey pity you sha. I can read out the sincerity of your comment and you don't seem like a proud person at all unlike what I truly expected. Just count your losses and move on, I know truly that every woman cannot be arrogant like Linda Ikeji when they have money and it seems like you're not like that. The problem is not really about broke Men, but Men's mentality and the way they think. Because your Man can be broke tomorrow, so what happens then? You are on the right path, just find someone who is doing well & thinking right, its not about how much money he has. You need to know how he thinks. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 12:39am On Jan 15, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: Broke Men having guts to approach you? Chaiii sister, ordinary Packaging is what will fall you. You will enter Benz and before you know it, he's in your pants. You better change your mentality. Its not about how much he has. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 1:06am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub: It'd be interesting to hear his own version of the story. But most men will probably behave that way. Lack of a job bruises the ego no doubt. The way you handle it as a man depends on your upbringing. If you do have a good heart which you probably do, then don't sweat it. Your prince charming will sweep you off your feet soon. Don't settle for less because you are in a hurry. And don't write off any man because you earn more than him or because he's still struggling. I'm sure you've heard the true story of that Nigerian couple. The wife worked in a bank while the husband was jobless. The wife would receive her salary and give it all to the husband to disburse as he saw fit. He gave her a percentage for her upkeep and for the housekeeping. While he used the rest to hustle and tried to start up some business. This continued for months and months without any complaints from the wife or query as to how he spent her money. The money she earned. Then after a long time, the husband got a good job with a multi national company or something of sorts. He bought the family's first car and handed the keys over to the wife while he kept jumping on buses to work. after months of working he was able to afford an even better car than the first one. He got home, collected the keys to the old car from his wife and gave her the keys to the new one. It was the husband who came on FB to celebrate his wife and their wedding anniversary. He put up the whole story and their pictures with their kids. I don't know why I decided to write this epistle, but the moral of the story is that both husband and wife were good people. Don't stop being good. Your blessing is around the corner. Not all financially stable men are sane. And not all struggling men are mad. Just be vigilant. 11 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 1:18am On Jan 15, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: Not so sis. Don't write off anyone and don't look down your nose at anyone. Broke men can and do become billionaires and rich men lose their wealth all the time. Quality of character in both classes of men is what's important. 9 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Americanboy35: 3:29am On Jan 15, 2019 |
SachaBastien:God bless you sir |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by HeavenlyCherub(f): 3:45am On Jan 15, 2019 |
5thElement: Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by HeavenlyCherub(f): 3:49am On Jan 15, 2019 |
tintedniggz: I'm 28 he was 30 |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by HeavenlyCherub(f): 3:51am On Jan 15, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: Thank you love..I appreciate your kind words of encouragement |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by tintedniggz(m): 4:27am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:Oh! Here I was guessing he was probably younger lol. Sorry you had that experience from a bad egg, but that shouldn't stop your good works sis. 2 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 5:25am On Jan 15, 2019 |
eljay22:Dude, your mindset is so negative. I think you would do the exact same thing the guy did. This is a huge sign of inferiority complex. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 5:36am On Jan 15, 2019 |
truthsayer009:lol, bring your benz na. I don pass that level o. I habe always weighed a man by his actions more than worrds, once the two disconnect, i either pplay him, or bouunce. 1 Like |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 5:48am On Jan 15, 2019 |
sunbilor:See format, iye!
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Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 5:49am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:thaat storry only happens in 1% not the 99.9%. Dont be fooled. The man must have been rich before he lost his job therefore she kknewnhis character before that job. Men dont show their true character untilnthwy are wealthy 1 Like |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by sunbilor(m): 6:28am On Jan 15, 2019 |
Jayhazard:Check my previous posts. I am married! I did my wedding in December, 2018. So I no dey chase woman. To be frank, I have people I could link her to if she is interested and beautiful. |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 7:59am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub: You are welcome dear. I'm glad you read my long epistle. Be good and goodness will follow you everywhere you go. I am sure you will come across a good man who will match you, value for value. All the best dear. 1 Like |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 8:11am On Jan 15, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: I don't know what your story is and why you are so pessimistic (probably you've been hurt badly in the past), but you should realize that there are men out there who were brought up by mothers who have the kind of character the op has. What you give out is what you get. You give out bitterness, you receive bitterness, you radiate love, you get back love. Hunt for love, not a rich man. If you hunt for love, you might get a rich man or a poor man. At least you get a sure thing. Love. But if you hunt for a rich man, you may not get love and if the man loses his wealth you won't even get the money. Of course, acquisition of wealth changes a man for good or bad, but it's the risk you have to take. Note also that loss of wealth also changes a man mostly for worse. Why base your happiness then on something ephemeral, something unsure such as wealth. A man's character may be hidden, but it is constant, whether rich or poor. Fall in love with a man's character, not his pocket. Namaste. cc: HeavenlyCherub 5 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by emmaodet: 8:14am On Jan 15, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub: It's ok, i understand your plight, don't blame the poor boy, it's not is fault, the society as made us to understand that if a man is dating a woman that is financially successful than him, they will tag him gold digger, gigolo and lazy man, the lady's family will not respect him. Let me give you few scenarios - A struggling brother who is a graduate from Osu/OOU and with is gf was rubbished when the lady got a job in state hospital and earning around 150k but the brother, an orphan was struggling, singing at weddings and burials at weekends and a butcher of cows at midweek. The mother said and i quote "does it mean in all the hospital, no doctor has ever wooed you? Must you settle down with this low life guy" The society at large frown at poor guys dating ladies that are okay that is why you see on nairaland the ladies doing the same and brokeshaming poor guys, am/we are sorry 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 4:06am On Jan 29, 2019 |
HeavenlyCherub:wow...you've been through a lot...Oluwa will def answer your call soon...just keep praying |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Nobody: 12:21pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
HeavenlyCherub: Walking away was a big mistake. Your success reminded him of his failure and you motivated him a lot. All his complaints and insecurities were a cry for assurance. And in that position, his emotions were too vulnerable. Black women want a man who can handle his emotions and lead regardless of how they feel in a relationship. In other words you wanted someone confident enough to take that journey with you and hold your hand with his head high. Instead you got one who acted more like the female in the relationship becos he was intimidated by your success If you had paid a lot of attention to empowering him to become as great as you (and I don't mean financially), you would have changed him bit by bit. For example, if you noticed his strengths and skills and invested in those two, directing him towards achieving his full potential...he would have become more confident, loyal and masculine No man comes tailor-made, not even women. First you get the material, do the sketch, envision the piece in your head and stitch each part of the material gradually, creating each piece slowly. You instead could not take no more and thrust yourself back out there all to repeat the same steps all over, in the dating scene. You seem intelligent+responsible and it's been 2yrs since. I hope you find the man of your dreams and learn from your past. Always have the material and think like the good tailor. Buena suerte! 3 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by nijiatech78: 11:47pm On Apr 10, 2020 |
HeavenlyCherub: Hello my friend. I have read through a couple of your responses on other thread and just stumbled on this thread of yours while checking your page. Am sorry for your experience but you are not going through the healing process with the right mentality. If you fail on a course it doesn’t mean others too will fail. Some men have suffered even same fate as yours including me but will advice men not to help any lady the fall in love with? Hell No. Forgiveness is key my Dear and sadly you lack it. You may have lost a lot monetarily but you didn’t lose your health or your life. Forgive completely and look forward with an optimistic mindset. You will discover you have true peace and rejuvenation of your total being will commence bringing out a better you waiting for a better chance. There are red flags you obviously didn’t noticed. You will be happy again, TRULY HAPPY. Am not too good at long write ups but I can share voice messages especially on the red flags. I AM A PROUD SURVIVOR 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by DAutoDiagnosis: 12:16am On Apr 11, 2020 |
HeavenlyCherub: I got to this thread through one of your comments on another thread, referencing your story. My dear, you need to heal, and I believe you are in the healing process, albeit your comment on the other thread shows that you've still not reached your full healing. I know age will be like a factor and some pressure for you, and there's nothing wrong about that. The first relationship you talked about should not have lasted that long the moment you found out he was into Yahoo, but you still stayed and hoped. That wasn't love or loyalty. The values he held wasn't matching yours. And this other one you will give your car to, then walk to work. Like seriously, which responsible guy let's his babe walk to work while he uses the car, what happened to driving her to work and driving her back. I have not told my babe this, but never will I allow her walk while I drive, which nonsense car, but you still stayed. Those relationships were not meant to work in the first place. Now, Money fades, everything fades. Within a twinkle on an eye, things can change. Good to bad, bad to Good. The same man you think is in your class or level can be off your class tomorrow. What you need in a man are values. Values they uphold, they should be things you can deal with, whether they are rich or poor, same class, below class or above your class. And I think you need to Love yourself. I found out, for you to love rightly, you first need to love yourself, that way it will be easy to love others. There's nothing wrong with you. Continue to work on your self, go out, say hi, smile. I saw one man in my dream, (God revealed it to me) , they are people you know, people around you, people you gave audience, forget all those bobo someone is attached to you. Loving yourself is not putting up with nonsense, because you love yourself enough. The man of your class or above your class can be in secured, stupid, foolish, abusive. In all draw nearer to God, he said he will direct your path. And be lovely, and stop frowning. I know you don't. Be good 7 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by Yoighaman(m): 12:32am On Apr 11, 2020 |
HeavenlyCherub: It is well with you, stay strong, be prayerful and keep an open mind and heart. God will definitely sort you out at the right time. We all go through pains in different shapes and sizes but one thing remains very sure- "This too shall pass". 1 Like |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by adexpa(m): 1:14am On Apr 11, 2020 |
DAutoDiagnosis: This person said a lot that you need dear. Firstly, you have to love yourself (nobody can give you joy and happiness better than yourself), secondly, you need to start learning how to identify real men, men with dignity n values.... No reasonable man will accept all those you mentioned that you did for him.... How will a reasonable guy allows you to relinquish your car for him ( where real men bought single car with their money n drop it for their women).... We can be supported but not virtually in all things. You can easily identify real men through their values n believe system. N lastly, you can not use one man to judge all men . (Can you reach me on +2347068292560 through whatsapp, I am not in Nigeria, I just want to be a distance friend) 1 Like |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by ssegs5(m): 1:49am On Apr 11, 2020 |
Have toke my time to read some of your responses on other trends and your but one thing I notice is this ''unforgiven mind '' and you are a type that complains alot(from my point of view). In life when you hold on to one thing and you keep on nursing it, it will be difficult for you to see better things around you, all because you place your focus on one thing ( what i mean is that; you have focus your mind set that poor guys are bad guys, and your pain and hatred for them didn't allow you to see that there are best option for you). Someone is somewhere watch and willing to have someone like you, someone that know your value, your worth but your unforgiven attitude and hatred will not allow good and serious men to come around. Why not work on yourself, forgive and forget and dont put unnecessary pressure on yourself, put up a smiling face, trust in God, be good and move on, I know for sure that that man will surely show up. Please check my signature for my contact you can just hi me I will like to further discuss with you. Stay happy 2 Likes |
Re: The Only Thing You Should Do For A Man Is Pray For Him Don't Help Anyone by ssegs5(m): 1:54am On Apr 11, 2020 |
HeavenlyCherub: Have toke my time to read some of your responses on other trends and your but one thing I notice is this ''unforgiven mind '' and you are a type that complains alot(from my point of view). In life when you hold on to one thing and you keep on nursing it, it will be difficult for you to see better things around you, all because you place your focus on one thing ( what i mean is that; you have focus your mind set that poor guys are bad guys, and your pain and hatred for them didn't allow you to see that there are best option for you). Someone is somewhere watch and willing to have someone like you, someone that know your value, your worth but your unforgiven attitude and hatred will not allow good and serious men to come around. Why not work on yourself, forgive and forget and dont put unnecessary pressure on yourself, put up a smiling face, trust in God, be good and move on, I know for sure that that man will surely show up. Please check my signature for my contact you can just hi me I will like to further discuss with you. Stay happy |
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