Why Friendship Should Come Before Sex In A Relationship

We live in an era where sex is the first thing most young men think when they intend starting a relationship with a member of the opposite gender. The female folks are not left out. Most young women will 'size' an approaching man from a far. They will not fail to estimate, calculate and approximate the financial status of the man. And if their calculations seem accepted or okay by them, they will not hesitate to start up an affair with the man with utmost alacrity. This is often times disastrous. One mind think sex and the other thinks financial gains (and even sex sometimes too).

Friendship goes beyond sexual attractions. It has to do with having a personal relationship with someone and being aware of both positives and negatives in his/her life. Allowing sex to come before friendship may make both parties to hide vital things about themselves. Most people (especially the female folks) would hide things about themselves after series of sexual acts because they feel there is a bond that has been created which signifies 'commitment' and as such, they would not want the negatives in their lives to terminate the affair.

Have you noticed that you might find it easier to talk about negatives or embarrassing secrets in your life with a friend you have no sexual attachments with than one who you sleep with? It is because true friendship was not formed before you delved into sex. Early sex makes most people to hide things that could practically tear a marriage into shreds later on when they are discovered. Early sex brings with it, bags, bags and more bags of false commitment and attachment.

There are vital things that each partner is supposed to know before a committed relationship is formed. Sex may not allow us to ascertain these things. We have been engrossed in the sweetness of it that we cannot share the shortcomings in our lives in order not to lose the 'sweet flavour of sex'. There are people who see themselves as partners/lovers and have sex regularly yet they might not even know the health status of each other and other little vital things that are easily neglected. That is not a healthy relationship; it is just a long term hookup!!! There are even guys who do not know their girlfriend's surname and vice-versa. They only know him/her as Collins, Fehintola or Kesiena. Sex for these people could be 5 times a week too. If such common information is not known, then which information will you know that is less important than that?

If my post does not harshly condemn or drag sex before marriage on the ground, realize that I am just a social writer who grew up in the streets of Warri and not a moralist. I leave that for the moralists and religionists to flog.

I agree with you... Friendship strengthens the strings that bounds the commitment in a relationship

the two goes together sex n friendship

Abfinest007:
the two goes together sex n friendship

I don't think you understand this post.

dawnomike:
I agree with you... Friendship strengthens the strings that bounds the commitment in a relationship

You tend to be more open to a true friend than a 'sex mate' lover.

Must there be friendship, relationship and commitment?

Haven't you heard of hook ups, flings, friends with benefits?
Two mature adults just having their fun and pleasures with no strings attached or expectations. It's far less complicated.

Its all about friendship and most times, the friendship keeps the relationship going.

that is what is called "friends with benefit.". I prefer it to relationship. seunmohmoh. that is what I wanna have with you. mofekajomadorawa.

Op you're correct.. I believe that guys who jump to sex without friendship sees those girls as oloshos,and that's what most of them truly are..

Our nowadays girls don't need the friendship at all.. 95% of them usually work with this saying "money for hand back for ground. No girl should ask me of how I got the statistics. Guys are aware of this fact, and that's why they rubbish our nowadays girls.. And most girls of this generation lacks wisdom,to know who truly love them and who doesn't... As long as d guy has ego and big preek,he is good to go.. Even if he is a beast,she will tell you,that she will change him..
Patiently waiting for those dumb ass,that calls themselves feminist here.. Quote me talk nonsense,make ogun kill you..

Rapmoney:


You tend to be more open to a true friend than a 'sex mate' lover.

Yes you are right

ashewoboy:
that is what is called "friends with benefit.". I prefer it to relationship. seunmohmoh. that is what I wanna have with you. mofekajomadorawa.

We are talking about serious mature relationships here. We are not talking of playing around.

BlackShit:
Must be there be friendship, relationship and commitment?

Haven't you heard of hook ups and flings?
Two mature adults just having their fun and pleasures with no strings attached. It's far less complicated.

The topic does not centre on hookups. It revolves around mature relationships. Nor be ota' akara matter, my guy.

Rapmoney:


We are talking about serious mature relationships here. We are not talking of playing around.

I'm the type of guy that doesn't give a phuck.

True talk bro, Sex has been bastardized in this present generation.

Sex is overrated

Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright

But op
Sometimes ehnnn
When Sex comes first the friendship that follows even become stronger than what both of you can even imagine

Sex is not just for fun at times. It unites the both of you especially when it is done without condom.

Alot of soul binding occurs when you bang a woman without condom. The exchange of sexual fluids between the two of you alone during sex is enough to start a union or rather it initiate unionism and friendship without you knowing

That is why you go surprise say most times people dey always marry ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend and people when them don first bang before without condom because we nor dey ever forget anybody when we don bang without condom. No matter how tough and rugged we be we nor dey forget the person.

Sex comes first for me.

SEX topics everywhere on nairaland. Girls dey try o

In the process of friendship, you become friendzoned.
By the way I don't need a female friend

Friendship make the relationship fun.

Another thread for good boys

A little Friendship for a week before sex for a new friend

The thing is, people don't know what they want and people don't want what they want.

Don't confuse a fling with a serious relationship, it is said that a relationship without the foundation of quality friendship is like a balloon of fantasy that would soon be burst by the needle of reality.

Op you're very correct and I hope people will be patient enough to get the content of this post and act accordingly. Sex itself is becoming overrated, nothing beats having a companion who understands you, accept your flaws and is willing to help you grow.

I agree to a large extent

Am done replying its nor like am being paid

Set up.
Op your definition of friendship is what I don’t understand. My take is this, if I truely care about a person, sex would not be the only on my mind for that person. Nevertheless sex would still be among the fundamental things between us.

So as emotion, companionship and more

How will this ease anything now

Like my mentor Nwaamaikpe will say,


Just plug and play.



Furk her hard because that's what they deserve.



why waste your time trying to build friendship with a lady that will jump onto the next available priick?


Don't waste your time building friendship with gals of this generation, most of them are irredeemable and the only thing that is in their heads is

picmix,

iPhone,

.Make up,

send me airtime,

Buy me indomie,

suck prickk,





Tell, me, how can you build friendship with a lady whose brain is full of sawdust? What will you be discussing, Jenifer's dairy?







and before I forget,

Fouk ma school and fouk ma teacher too!

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The major downside of this approach is that you may later end up in the friend one and loose the opportunity to fúck the lady

Use that opportunity to find out all you can about your potential partner especially their health status!