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Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Woman Asks Husband To Return Her Virginity And Standing Breasts For Divorce / Bride Price Collection Is Big Business In Some Parts Of Nigeria (Pics) / Woman Begs Her Estranged Husband To Come And Collect His Bride Price. Photos (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Richie77: 5:11pm On Apr 14, 2020
if she wanna go, let her go in peace but never collect the bride prize. let it stand for all the bleeping all the years.

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by 79733139(m): 5:12pm On Apr 14, 2020
The police and courts in Nigeria always favour the woman when it comes to child custody. He can't forcefully take the child, or else he would have a criminal charge of kidnapping hung on his neck.

As for child custody in Nigeria, it is always granted to the woman except she is a drug addict or has serious mental illness. Even if the woman is poor, the court would ask the man to pay child support.

This is one of the scenarios where women have the upper hand over men.


SaiOba:
Since he payed a dowry that means he married her the proper way. He should be the one drafting the agreement. He should also take his kid/kids from her and let her move on...but if he knows he is not capable and can't take good care of the kid/kids he should visit from time to time but he shouldn't sign any agreement whatsoever and shouldn't accept any dowry back.
Most single mothers are not always honest... They will rather tell their kid/kids. "Your father left us"..


2 Likes

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Ladycewhy(f): 5:13pm On Apr 14, 2020
DOZTECH:


You're married to a Christian Male, it's usually difficult for the man to accept it back due to the bible teaching. But if you're married to a worldly man, I guess it's no big deal to him to accept it back.

So before you apply the extreme approach, know the man you want to marry.
Christian nor not, so long as you did traditional wedding, it will be returned if the woman's family mean to return it.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by fireback: 5:13pm On Apr 14, 2020
ShenTeh:
Ah.

Don't collect it. Obviously, the man has not forgiven himself but seeks forgiveness from his woman. He shouldn't stoop to negotiate from the short end of the gun. There should be some pride and vim left in the man; he shouldn't beat himself into allowing the wife pay him off.

If she wants a divorce, let her go the route as mandated by law. Serve the man the right papers and get it vide the court. That would also address the child's issue.

Let no one be the judge, jury prosecution and defendant in his/her own case.

Otherwise, the man should let her roam free. She'll also find that she abandoned a lower evil for the devil himself.

We all later realise that our unforgiving nature is our very own fetters.
what if they never had any court marriage. will court still be relevant in dissolving such marriage.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by salt1: 5:13pm On Apr 14, 2020
lonelydora:
I still don't understand why many of these indomie generation kids are leaving their marriages.

On Easter Sunday, a woman with 2 kids ran away from her home abandoning her kids with the husband. Why? We are yet to know.

Why can't girls of nowadays stay and make their marriage work?


The men want to continue cheating and beating their wives like their fathers did. After all you're married with children and can't leave. But the women don't want to suffer and die in marriage. They want to be alive first, inside or outside marriage.
Until the men realize that times have changed, we shall expect more of such happenings. One mother ran leaving her five children. The husband who's combining father/mother roles has told everybody that he caused it. He's pleading with her but she's yet to forgive.

6 Likes

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by candyguyofficia(m): 5:14pm On Apr 14, 2020
SSam01:
If the bride price is not returned and she remarries the children produced in the new marriage belongs to the previous husband.

This is why men must insist on paying #10,000,000 bride price as future investment so on the day the woman decides to return the bride price you can be sure of buying a new tear rubber car and clear some debts.

And this is why the woman's family should demand for only #20.00 as bride price so on the day your daughter runs away you will not carry gbese. Its not good to be greedy.

Young boys and girls and panel of judges hope i have been able to convince and confuse you with these few points of mine? grin
The court have ruled over and over again even in the case of Edet v Essien that such Customary practice is repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience. Section 18 (3) of the Evidence Act 2011 back up the ruling of court in cases with similar fact and the provision stipulate that In any judicial proceeding where any custom is relied upon, it shall not be enforced as law If it is contrary to natural justice, equity, good conscience and public policy.
At second bold yes, you didn't convince me but you confused most persons cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by salt1: 5:15pm On Apr 14, 2020
linearity:


Not true in all cases.

Some communities found out that, men have been using this to hold women down by making themselves perpetually unavailable to collect the bride price.

So in many communities, the woman only need to return the bride price to the traditional ruler of their community e.g. the King, the King’s mess angers now contact the man to come to the palace to pickup his bride price...irrespective of if he picks it or not, the marriage is dissolved according to native laws & customs.

Good for everyone

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by cococandy(f): 5:16pm On Apr 14, 2020
You as the man, do you not want to move on?

4 Likes

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by SaiOba: 5:17pm On Apr 14, 2020
That is if she was a virgin before he married her.

Candoit:
If she return her bride price. Will he return her virginity?
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by cococandy(f): 5:17pm On Apr 14, 2020
They don’t want you to stay they don’t want you to leave grin
linearity:


Not true in all cases.

Some communities found out that, men have been using this to hold women down by making themselves perpetually unavailable to collect the bride price.

So in many communities, the woman only need to return the bride price to the traditional ruler of their community e.g. the King, the King’s mess angers now contact the man to come to the palace to pickup his bride price...irrespective of if he picks it or not, the marriage is dissolved according to native laws & customs.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Bankpower: 5:26pm On Apr 14, 2020
If a man is fed up in the marriage he takes a full keg of wine in which he should insert african pear leaf inside to the in-laws who instantly get the message.
On the other hand if a woman is fed up a male member of her family returns the dowry to the traditional ruler who in turn invites the husbands family to come and pick it up.
All children produced before the repayment of bride price remains the man's
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by mechanics(m): 5:30pm On Apr 14, 2020
SaiOba:
This is the main reason I support courting for a reasonable time before agreeing to be together for ever.

I concur.

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by emperor00(m): 5:33pm On Apr 14, 2020
In igbo tradition she can't remarry unless her people returns the bride price back to the man's family. Also, the man will fully claim his child but it doesn't work smoothly like that this days with child protection laws. Depends on the age of the child the man can claim his child if the said child is of age. Nevertheless let the man arrange to pay monthly upkeep and insist of the child being able to visit as it might be impossible for the man to visit her new matrimonial home.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:36pm On Apr 14, 2020
cryTTF
79733139:
The police and courts in Nigeria always favour the woman when it comes to child custody. He can't forcefully take the child, or else he would have a criminal charge of kidnapping hung on his neck.

As for child custody in Nigeria, it is always granted to the woman except she is a drug addict or has serious mental illness. Even if the woman is poor, the court would ask the man to pay child support.

This is one of the scenarios where women have the upper hand over men.


.... You are not completely right. Yes custody of the child/children are normally given to the woman on the bases that she is not going to remarry. But in this case it is a different thing all together. She wants to remarry and ex husband is still alive. Should she now take another man's child to her new husband when the man is up and doing and can take care of his kid?

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Buhari1(m): 5:41pm On Apr 14, 2020
Bride price wey elders don chop since. There's nothing to return. Just walk away.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by tunjilana: 5:43pm On Apr 14, 2020
Bros...Simply go the legal route...get a lawyer, bait her that you want to be seeing your kids..she will obviously decline,document the evidence then sue her for kidnapping and denying you access to the children.

Then watch proceedings, the court will restore your paternal right as long as you dont pose any risk to the kids. Also know that before the law, u have equal right to the kids...no one is greater than the other but because of the child's age they will give her custody but u have visitation right and the child can spend holidays and weekends with you. Please know your right very well

As for the relationship between u 2, she should file for divorce if u were legally married. If it was customary marriage then she should still go to the customary court to initiate divorce process....

Regards
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Nobody: 5:45pm On Apr 14, 2020
yes, it happens, not common in the east sha, no refund after payment, as they only give 1 week guarantee like they do for used parts.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:50pm On Apr 14, 2020
tunjilana:
Bros...Simply go the legal route...get a lawyer, bait her that you want to be seeing your kids..she will obviously decline,document the evidence then sue her for kidnapping and denying you access to the children.

Then watch proceedings, the court will restore your paternal right as long as you dont pose any risk to the kids. Also know that before the law, u have equal right to the kids...no one is greater than the other but because of the child's age they will give her custody but u have visitation right and the child can spend holidays and weekends with you. Please know your right very well

As for the relationship between u 2, she should file for divorce if u were legally married. If it was customary marriage then she should still go to the customary court to initiate divorce process....

Regards
...I love it when reasonable people comment. You ve just giving him an expo.Nice one bro.
But can you clear me on something? Since she wants to remarry,will she be allowed to take the ex husband child to her new home since the ex is still alive,up and doing and can take care of the said child.
I know that age of the child matters here but let's say assuming he or she is 5;years.Thanks.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by dafeoroyo: 5:50pm On Apr 14, 2020
Ask Toto dike, Churchill dem collected their bride money paid back,hope this will help
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by tunjilana: 5:55pm On Apr 14, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
...I love it when reasonable people comment. You ve just giving him an expo.Nice one bro.
But can you clear me on something? Since she wants to remarry,will she be allowed to take the ex husband child to her new home since the ex is still alive,up and doing and can take care of the said child.
I know that age of the child matters here but let's say assuming he or she is 5;years.Thanks.

Sadly the woman is always seen as the primary care giver. Except the man can prove that

1. She is mentally unstable
2.She has a deadly disease
3. She is a prostitute/promiscuous and can expose the child to a wrong lifestyle especially if the child is a girl


Well all is fair in warfare....some men have used item 3. to win custody...it is the easiest to bait,proof and achieve... smiley... what he needs is a very sharp lawyer right now
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:58pm On Apr 14, 2020
tunjilana:


Sadly the woman is always seen as the primary care giver. Except the man can prove that

1. She is mentally unstable
2.She has a deadly disease
3. She is a prostitute/promiscuous and can expose the child to a wrong lifestyle especially if the child is a girl


Well all is fair in warfare....some men have used item 3. to win custody...it is the easiest to bait,proof and achieve... smiley... what he needs is a very sharp lawyer right now
...I think you are right. But what if her new husband starts maltreating his son? What will he do to salvage it? Sorry for the disturbance.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by jeff1607(m): 6:03pm On Apr 14, 2020
afribabe:
and is the man also going to return all the woman's contribution to his life so far?

I am not owing hubby any bride price because the token paid/collected was returned to us and we don spend am together.


what is usually returned , are the things before the marriage was consummated, both contributed to each other's lives but only one side made payment for marriage
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by 79733139(m): 6:05pm On Apr 14, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
cryTTF.... You are not completely right. Yes custody of the child/children are normally given to the woman on the bases that she is not going to remarry. But in this case it is a different thing all together. She wants to remarry and ex husband is still alive. Should she now take another man's child to her new husband when the man is up and doing and can take care of his kid?

The woman is almost always given custody of the child (or children) whether she wants to remarry or not.

The law is resolute on that. Except the man's lawyer can prove that the woman is incapable (drug use, mental illness or inability due to disease) the woman always gets child custody.

2 Likes

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 6:10pm On Apr 14, 2020
79733139:


The woman is almost always given custody of the child (or children) whether she wants to remarry or not.

The law is resolute on that. Except the man's lawyer can prove that the woman is incapable (drug use, mental illness or inability due to disease) the woman always gets child custody.
....Ok good.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by 79733139(m): 6:17pm On Apr 14, 2020
emperor00:
In igbo tradition she can't remarry unless her people returns the bride price back to the man's family. Also, the man will fully claim his child but it doesn't work smoothly like that this days with child protection laws. Depends on the age of the child the man can claim his child if the said child is of age. Nevertheless let the man arrange to pay monthly upkeep and insist of the child being able to visit as it might be impossible for the man to visit her new matrimonial home.

It was likely a traditional marriage done without signing a marriage registry. So, the woman would just go to a marriage registry with her intending husband and get married.

The ex-husband can claim his child but he cannot forcefully take the child. They have to make any arrangement that both parties would be happy with.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by hensben(m): 6:46pm On Apr 14, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
... No,her family has to liaise with the family of her husband to do that.But the main issue there is about who takes the kid.Since she wanted to remarry,common sense should tell her that she can't take somebody's kid to another man's house when the father of the child is still alive and wants his kid.
What if there is no child involve yet in the marriage?
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Giftexx: 6:49pm On Apr 14, 2020
You’ve spoken wisely
SSam01:
wink
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Candoit: 6:51pm On Apr 14, 2020
SaiOba:
That is if she was a virgin before he married her.


And what if she was a virgin, would he return it?
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Candoit: 6:52pm On Apr 14, 2020
Jim99:


Will she return his virginity too?

Was she even a virgin in the first place?

Without him she might probably never bear the name Mother in her lifetime.


Now, if she were a virgin, would he return it?
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 6:54pm On Apr 14, 2020
hensben:
What if there is no child involve yet in the marriage?
....Like I said,the two families must come together to agree on the issue of returning the pride price. If there's no child involved,both are free to move on with their lives after the whole dissolution.
Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by Adex2442: 6:56pm On Apr 14, 2020
lonelydora:
I still don't understand why many of these indomie generation kids are leaving their marriages.

On Easter Sunday, a woman with 2 kids ran away from her home abandoning her kids with the husband. Why? We are yet to know.

Why can't girls of nowadays stay and make their marriage work?



Marriages does not work anymore. 95% of women does not love their husband. Some are just there becos of the kids.
That's why these days u see women building houses, buying lands and owning different properties without the knowledge of their husband.

Marriages today lacks LOVE

LOVE only exists 1 to 6 months after wedding after that period wat u see is couple trying to cope. And hence wen any little happens, they pack their loads.

1 Like

Re: Can A Woman Return Her Bride Price, And Should The Man Accept? by ibkayee(f): 7:09pm On Apr 14, 2020
Adex2442:



[s]Marriages does not work anymore. 95% of women does not love their husband. Some are just there becos of the kids.
That's why these days u see women building houses, buying lands and owning different properties without the knowledge of their husband.

Marriages today lacks LOVE

LOVE only exists 1 to 6 months after wedding after that period wat u see is couple trying to cope. And hence wen any little happens, they pack their loads.[/s]
We don’t know what the husband did though. You’re saying all of this without knowing what happened? What if it’s a case of domestic violence for example?

3 Likes

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