My heart is really bitter writing this. Am married with kids(beautiful kids). In Marriage for 12 years now. Just got to know three days ago that my wonderful husband has been having sex with my 15yrs maids who happens to be in the same village with him. While for passed 3 years now nothing much have been happening between us considering the fact that he's having erectile dysfunctions,which i understood with him. When i got to find out about their mischief(thru the note she wrote to my husband which i saw in her bag;telling him that she knows that my husband don't like her anymore because my husband told her that he's done And that she will tell her people in village). When confronted my maid,she confessed to me that it all started immediately she came into my house 3 years back.When confronted my husband he pleaded guilty(said he wanted to see if is possible to have erection that he's always ashamed due to the problem) and have been crying for the past 6days begging for forgiveness.I have forgiven him though but am emotionally imbalance. Lockdown come cause more wahala.Please good advice needed on what to do.Thank you.

Forgive him and move on

What God has joined together, don`t let a maid put asunder.

We have all made great mistakes in our life`s

If not for anything, forgive him for the sake of your kids.

But to clear the pains from your heart, I will advice you to seek services of renowned thugs to beat him to stupor that he wont be able to walk for months.

You will be treating him at home after the deed and be using hot water to mop his body. You use same opportunity to ask him if he has not been dating someones`s wife as you suspect that is the only thing that can warrant such brutality.

Make sure you emphasize to the gang you hired to beat him VERY well. If you dont mind, you can tell them to shoot him on his thigh. It wont hurt much.

It is difficult to advice however, since you have forgiven him, do whatever it is you have to do to heal so that you can get past it.

GboyegaD:
It is difficult to advice however, since you have forgiven him, do whatever it is you have to do to heal so that you can get past it.

Thank you so much

You need to report him, he raped a child.

doitforyou:
You need to report him, he raped a child.

okay.but what am thinking is how to cope with the kids alone?

Omeku:
okay.but what am thinking is how to cope with the kids alone?

Dont listen to people here who will break your marriage o. I advice you talk or share with your Pastor first.

Dont break your home o, Nairaland wont be there for u when the nights come.

CsRockefeller:


Dont listen to people here who will break your marriage o. I advice you talk or share with your Pastor first.

Dont break your home o, Nairaland wont be there for u when the nights come.

.Thank you so much dear. But what should i do to the maid?

Since he has stopped the act going by the maid's letter to him, I suggest you forgive him and put the whole shameful thing behind you.

After the lock down, send the maid away. Fortunately, she didn't take in. If that had been the case, your husband would have been saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a child from another woman.

Jimbadly:
Since he has stopped the act going by the maid's letter to him, I suggest you forgive him and put the whole shameful thing behind you.

After the lock down, send the maid away. Fortunately, she didn't take in. If that had been the case, your husband would have been saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a child from another woman.

Thank u so much.Am grateful.

Forgive a pedophile? SMH

Omeku:
My heart is really bitter writing this. Am married with kids(beautiful kids). In Marriage for 12 years now. Just got to know three days ago that my wonderful husband has been having sex with my 15yrs maids who happens to be in the same village with him. While for passed 3 years now nothing much have been happening between us considering the fact that he's having erectile dysfunctions,which i understood with him. When i got to find out about their mischief(thru the note she wrote to my husband which i saw in her bag;telling him that she knows that my husband don't like her anymore because my husband told her that he's done And that she will tell her people in village). When confronted my maid,she confessed to me that it all started immediately she came into my house 3 years back.When confronted my husband he pleaded guilty(said he wanted to see if is possible to have erection that he's always ashamed due to the problem) and have been crying for the past 6days begging for forgiveness.I have forgiven him though but am emotionally imbalance. Lockdown come cause more wahala.Please good advice needed on what to do.Thank you.

What exactly do you need our advice on?

Omeku:
Thank u so much.Am grateful.

You're mostly welcome.

3 years no sex with you due to erectile dysfunction but for that 3 years he's been sexing d maid? Hmmmmmm

Omeku:
okay.but what am thinking is how to cope with the kids alone?

Don’t be ridiculous!

Readjust your life as best as you can and care for the children yourself.

A minor has been sexually assaulted and your marriage has been dishonoured by your spouse and you are here asking how you cope with your children.

Put them in the dustbin now, what nonsense kind of question is this one sef!

If you are comfortable living under the same roof with your CHILDREN and a pedophile then its fine.

Have gone for test today,but my doctor said no penetration(that the girl is still a virgin).So what have they been doing since I ask. The case is weird to me. Thanks all for una advice.

Op, I feel for you and appreciate the fact the he accepted and asked for forgiveness. That said, never seek the advise of any pastor or outsider over this issue as most pastors don't keep any form of secret as he will expose you to his wife and other elders and too, any third party you discussed the issue will ridducle your family as they can never keep your secret. Secret is the only thing only you knows.He has asked for forgiveness, forgive him and don't abandorn him now. You send the girl back and don't create any problem with her. Your husband's issue can be treated. That is another issue/topic for another day. Forgive and trust God for His grace. Never follow those talking trash here that you should divorce him. Do you know their own secret? Hell No. Nobody without sin.

You have forgiven your husband yet you took the maid to doctor to check her virginity. You are asking what should you do to the maid. How come you are so interested in the maid? Are you married to your maid? If you can forgive your husband, why can't you forgive your maid?

Omeku:
Have gone for test today,but my doctor said no penetration(that the girl is still a virgin). So what have they been doing since I ask. The case is weird to me. Thanks all for una advice.

Pressing bress, kissing, smooching, etc..

Your husband really has erectile dysfunction, you should be relieved.

Graxie:
You have forgiven your husband yet you took the maid to doctor to check her virginity. You are asking what should you do to the maid. How come you are so interested in the maid? Are you married to your maid? If you can forgive your husband, why can't you forgive your maid?

is someone's child okay. I want to get her well again cos she's like a daughter to me. Knowing that she's a virgin is one case closed for me. Then getting her back to her feet again is another. My maid and I need healing okay. She was very happy to know she's still a virgin and now the one pleading for forgiveness for them both. No pray for this situation to fell on you, you will never reason well.

andyanders:
Op, I feel for you and appreciate the fact the he accepted and asked for forgiveness. That said, never seek the advise of any pastor or outsider over this issue as most pastors don't keep any form of secret as he will expose you to his wife and other elders and too, any third party you discussed the issue will ridducle your family as they can never keep your secret. Secret is the only thing only you knows.He has asked for forgiveness, forgive him and don't abandorn him now. You send the girl back and don't create any problem with her. Your husband's issue can be treated. That is another issue/topic for another day. Forgive and trust God for His grace. Never follow those talking trash here that you should divorce him. Do you know their own secret? Hell No. Nobody without sin.

Thank you so much dear. My God will bless you.

babythug:


Don’t be ridiculous!

Readjust your life as best as you can and care for the children yourself.

A minor has been sexually assaulted and your marriage has been dishonoured by your spouse and you are here asking how you cope with your children.

Put them in the dustbin now, what nonsense kind of question is this one sef!

I just want to ask you this question and I want you to be honest with me.. don't do it just for the sake of likes.. If u were in OP's shoes, who has weigh the pros and cons, would you report your husband?

Op has decided to forgive the man.. But was looking for a way to heal and u suggested she should leave the marriage .. If you were Op or she was your family member, Would you have abandoned your marriage or ask your family member to leave her matrimonial home.

Just want an honest answer from the heart.

Richy4:


I just want to ask you this question and I want you to be honest with me.. don't do it just for the sake of likes.. If u were in OP's shoes, who has weigh the pros and cons, would you report your husband?

Op has decided to forgive the man.. But was looking for a way to heal and u suggested she should leave the marriage .. If you were Op or she was your family member, Would you have abandoned your marriage or ask your family member to leave her matrimonial home.

Just want an honest answer from the heart.

I suspect you’ve quoted the wrong response!

What the OP does or does not do thereafter isnt in my purview honestly.

I merely responded to her question which was “how would she cope with the kids” . I am assuming she meant without the maid ie if she sends the maid away!

I understand why you still bring up the issue here even after forgiving your husband, forgiveness is a gradual process, u may need more time to heal and trust your hubby again... Send your maid back to her village while you trust God to heal your broken heart, keeping her around may bring up other issues.please let it go completely dear for the kids sake. May God uphold ur home

graciamore:
I understand why you still bring up the issue here even after forgiving your husband, forgiveness is a gradual process, u may need more time to heal and trust your hubby again... Send your maid back to her village while you trust God to heal your broken heart, keeping her around may bring up other issues.please let it go completely dear for the kids sake. May God uphold ur home

Good advise. She will get over it with time. I hate when some people advise others to seek for divorce while they are still managing theirs or have not married before as single ladies, but advise married women to seek for divorce as a solution and when it happens and the woman get her divorce, they cannot be there to help her. Women can seek for divorce if there is an abuse- domestic violience, I support divorce but not a case like this. No two perfect people on the face of this earth, just like in relationship or marriage.

crackkhaus:

Pressing bress, kissing, smooching, etc..

Your husband really has erectile dysfunction, you should be relieved.

You wicked

babythug:


Don’t be ridiculous!

Readjust your life as best as you can and care for the children yourself.

A minor has been sexually assaulted and your marriage has been dishonoured by your spouse and you are here asking how you cope with your children.

Put them in the dustbin now, what nonsense kind of question is this one sef!

Talk is cheap. Wait till u are her shoes.

andyanders:
Good advise. She will get over it with time. I hate when some people advise others to seek for divorce while they are still managing theirs or have not married before as single ladies, but advise married women to seek for divorce as a solution and when it happens and the woman get her divorce, they cannot be there to help her. Women can seek for divorce if there is an abuse- domestic violience, I support divorce but not a case like this. No two perfect people on the face of this eath, just like in relationship or marriage.

divorce is never an option for such case jor, since she has forgiven the hubby, I read were she was complaining of how to cope with the kids, that is if she report to the authorities which means she is financially handicap, wrong decision will definatly affect the children at the end... It is well with her cos is not easy.

Omeku:
Thank you so much dear. My God will bless you.

Madam, you're welcomed. I'm glad you've even forgiven the girl you expressed that you see or took her as a daughter. This goes to show a kind heart you have and may God Almighty help you to overcome this storm. For the girl, do call and counsel her from time to time never to try such, even outside your home. Devil wants to destroy your peaceful home.Since your husband was remorseful for his action and pleaded for mercy, in your closset, both of you should hold hands together and call unto God for the restoration of his manhood. Nothing Jesus cannot do and he should avoid sugar or eatables that contain sugar. Bitter colar from time to time. God bless your home.

Op what advice do you want? Cos you seem confused, that is this story is real.