Good day everyone,

If you know any book or anything that has helped you communicate better in your relationship or marriage, please help.me share.

It's obvious that you, just like many others, have an erroneous understanding of what communication in a relationship is all about. It isn't about needles and endless verbal conversation, correspondence, or being an orator.

Communication in a relationship in its literal, not notional, meaning is about partners being in sync - meeting each other's need, basically/fundamentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and verbally, is what it means to be in sync. And this by extension automatically means that both of you must be of the same ethical leanings (or must be operating on the same ethical leanings) before you can achieve effective mutual communication - because it takes people who're of the same ethical leanings to be in sync.

LordKO:
It's obvious that you, just like many others, have an erroneous understanding of what communication in a relationship is all about. It isn't about needles and endless verbal correspondence or being an orator.

Communication in a relationship in its literal, not notional, meaning is about partners being in sync - meeting each others need, basically/fundamentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and verbally, is what means to be in sync. And this by extension automatically means that both of you must be of the same ethical leanings before you can achieve effective mutual communication.

You’re derailing the thread. The OP asked a specific question, if you don’t have an answer for his question then you move along. Good for you that you have everything all figured out, some people need help.

OP, I haven’t read any, but if you google “books on communication in relationships” you will see a plethora of titles and reviews. All the best in your relationship.

doitforyou:

You’re derailing the thread. The OP asked a specific question, if you don’t have an answer for his question then you move along. Good for you that you have everything all figured out, some people need help.

OP, I haven’t read any, but if you google “books on communication in relationships” you will see a plethora of titles and reviews. All the best in your relationship.

You and I know that your enraged submission is from the place of pains. I know your alternative monikers . . . So, I understand better. Lol.

The answer to the question/need is embedded in my post you quoted, so it baffles me that you aren't able to see it. I gave a solution that can't possibly be found in any of the best selling relationship books out there.

LordKO:


You and I know that your enraged submission is from the place of pains. I know your alternative monikers . . . So, I understand better. Lol.

Okayyy, do you have any title referral for the OP? I think it’s unfair to hog someone’s thread, if you can’t help. Some people genuinely have issues communicating and I commend the OP for reaching out.

Chairman.... No rules to communication in marriage or relationship as long as the communication is a decent n reasonable one. Custant communication with your partner is the best way... Maybe you should update your level of information, be informed on current trends, read news, read about things that interest women, read politic, read stories.... All these will give you information to talk about.

champeeon:
Good day everyone,

If you know any book or anything that has helped you communicate better in your relationship or marriage, please help.me share.

Message me on WhatsApp, I will suggest plenty for you

Femiblacky:


Message me on WhatsApp, I will suggest plenty for you

I will actually prefer to get the paper book than the soft copy that's why I asked for suggestions.

DP

Well, to improve your communication skills, get this book by Kevin Hogan. Once u learn the secrets of how to communicate, you can apply to every form including your relationship.

I was a bit bad at communicating while growing up but i knew i was bad and searched for solution till i came across that book!

Here's the cover below!

Harllaby:
Bruv, go read bible especially wisdom of Solomon. Thank me later

Thank you for your suggestion. It's been helpful.

LordKO:
It's obvious that you, just like many others, have an erroneous understanding of what communication in a relationship is all about. It isn't about needles and endless verbal conversation, correspondence, or being an orator.

Communication in a relationship in its literal, not notional, meaning is about partners being in sync - meeting each other's need, basically/fundamentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and verbally, is what it means to be in sync. And this by extension automatically means that both of you must be of the same ethical leanings (or must be operating on the same ethical leanings) before you can achieve effective mutual communication - because it takes people who're of the same ethical leanings to be in sync.

Thank you.

doitforyou:

You’re derailing the thread. The OP asked a specific question, if you don’t have an answer for his question then you move along. Good for you that you have everything all figured out, some people need help.

OP, I haven’t read any, but if you google “books on communication in relationships” you will see a plethora of titles and reviews. All the best in your relationship.

This is really helpful. Thank you.

bigl:
Well, to improve your communication skills, get this book by Kevin Hogan. Once u learn the secrets of how to communicate, you can apply to every form including your relationship.

I was a bit bad at communicating while growing up but i knew i was bad and searched for solution till i came across that book!

Here's the cover below!

Thank you, I'll try to get it.

I am happy that you all contributed to helping me. I am indeed grateful.

I believe we all have our point of view. and we shouldn't judge anyone
wrong except we are seeing things from there own point
of view.

I think we all need help from other people's experiences. Some of us get this help from books. Some of us get it from mentors. Some of us have these experiences and as such need no external source.

I believe we should not rely 100% on every information from the book. But we may get certain %
that will help us. That's all we need.

I found an excerpt from Gary Chapman's book and it was really helpful.

I learned 3 things and I will like to share.

1. The five love languages[b]I am happy that you all contributed to helping me. I am indeed grateful.

I believe we all have our point of view. and we shouldn't judge anyone
wrong except we are seeing things from there own point
of view.

I think we all need help from other people's experiences. Some of us get this help from books. Some of us get it from mentors. Some of us have these experiences and as such need no external source.

I believe we should not rely 100% on every information from the book. But we may get certain %
that will help us. That's all we need.

I found an excerpt from Gary Chapman's book and it was really helpful.

I learned 3 things and I will like to share.

1. The five love languages[/b]I am happy that you all contributed to helping me. I am indeed grateful.

I believe we all have our point of view. and we shouldn't judge anyone
wrong except we are seeing things from there own point
of view.

I think we all need help from other people's experiences. Some of us get this help from books. Some of us get it from mentors. Some of us have these experiences and as such need no external source.

I believe we should not rely 100% on every information from the book. But we may get certain %
that will help us. That's all we need.

I found an excerpt from Gary Chapman's book and it was really helpful.

I learned 3 things and I will like to share.

1. The five love languages
I found out we both communicate love differently. What speaks love to one of us may not necessarily speak love to the other person. Hence, we need to understand our love languages.

According to the research from the book, they classified this language into 5.
Just like our everyday language. Most of us speak more than 1. However, we all have one that is primary. The one that resonates with us the most.
just like our mother's tongue.

The languages are:

= ACT OF SERVICE: some people want people to do things for them. They feel loved when people offer to help them out. This is not laziness. They just feel loved when someone cares enough to assist.
"Honey, let me was your clothes for you, " maybe the best way to express love to some people rather than giving them money.

= QUALITY TIME: I think I don't need to spend too much time on this. Some people want attention. They want the other partner to be there for them all the time. They may seem too demanding but I found out they just want to see you, hear your, know where you are all the time.

= GIFTS: These people are not greedy or golddiggers. But they want to get something from you all the time.
For them, the size of the gift may not really matter but the intention. Buying them Lolipop (just an example) may mean so much than coming home to tell them sweet words.

= WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: these ones feed on positive words you tell them. They want you to notice their new hair cut. They want you to see that they had a new dress on. They want you to tell them they look good.

= PHYSICAL TOUCH: This last group is sensitive to touch.
They want to hold your hands when you walk on the road. They act like cats (apologies to anyone in this category) in the sense that they just want to be around you.
They are not flirt. It is just lovely for them to touch you because that is what they want too.

2. The language of apology
I am sorry don't just make it for everyone. I guess this was the main source of friction in my own communication.

They also found out that people want an apology in different ways. They narrowed it down to 5 major ways which they also called the 5 apology languages.

I will make a similar case and try to explain it with the 5 apology languages. You didn't show up on time for a meeting with your partner and you need to apologize.

1.Expressing regret
"I am sorry I didn't show up on time. It is very bad for me. I should have been more thoughtful and left what I was doing."

2. Accepting responsibility
"I know I have kept you waiting for a long time. It is totally my fault. I don't have any excuse for not showing up early. I take the blame for everything."

3. Making restitution
"I didn't show up on time and I know you are not happy about it. I am willing to do anything to make it up to you. Do you want us to go see a movie or get something?"

4. Genuinely expressing a desire to change your behavior.
" I am sincerely sorry for wasting your time. I know I can't make up for the wasted time but I promise you this will never happen again."

5. Requesting forgiveness
"I know this hurts you a lot. I don't know what to do but I am deeply sorry. Would you forgive me?"


3. Our background and parents
The saying "like father like son
" and " Like mother like daughter, " may not be a myth.

We may not really agree with this one but sometimes we tend to behave like our parents as we grow older.

This means we want someone like our father as daughters and someone like our mother as sons. This is not always the case but it is common.

I hope to update this as I learn more. And what also works for me. It may not work for everyone though.

I got PDFs for now. Bookshops are closed cos of lockdown.

champeeon:
Good day everyone,

If you know any book or anything that has helped you communicate better in your relationship or marriage, please help.me share.

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

champeeon:
Good day everyone,

If you know any book or anything that has helped you communicate better in your relationship or marriage, please help.me share.

The Bible is :
For example....
James 1:19.
"Understand this my dear brothers and sisters:
You must all be quick to listen,slow to speak and slow to get angry"

Compare Colossians 4:6. 1Peter3:7-10.Matt7:12.

"The Secret of Family Happiness"
(You can access it online).


"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

The Lessons learnt and applied from these books plus the couple's sincere prayers for marital stability, Jehovah will grant you success.
1 king 3:5. Matt 7:7,8. Ecclesiastics 4:9-12. Proverbs 3:5-6.


Shalom.