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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles (1155 Views)
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Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 4:24am On Apr 19, 2020 |
How do you manage to do some things when your life is filled with frustrations? For instance, to apply for a job, I could start and just stop I could want to learn a new thing,then I could become so down that I stop. I have been living in frustration since in my teenage years, I'm the kind of person that strives so much, but I haven't realized my dreams at all, so many atimes I get reminded and stop what I'm doing at midways. I might want to draft a letter and stop midway, currently, I'm helping with covid19(volunteer service), I could start doing something and stop midway I need your advice, it wouldn't help only me, I believe it would help many people reading this in my situation. Advice me on how you coped during frustrated period My cohesion may not be good and there are several points missing, just try to fish out the little you can …................. My story I'm a very hardworking lady, very intelligent, very aspiring and extremely beautiful. I'm in my twenties. In a society where many things is determined by luck, connection, I feel so lost. I do not have friends to connect me, because many people are always too excited when we become friends with stupid thinkings, I hate people trying to be close with me because they think I'm from a wealthy home, or because of the way I look so I don't do friendship and thus zero connection. Ive been trying to pretend lately though, but its very hard for me. My struggle started since secondary school, I really do not have friends, I'm well focused, I hardly play, I'm not materialistic, I'm an extreme introvert. I've always wanted to learn a skill since my secondary school days, because I knew that it would help me not to be broke in the future, but my mother refused to help me learn anything, but always discouraging. I struggled to learn all by myself, so I was able to learn few things like how to make caps, and some other simple things. My secondary school days was filled with reading books(religious books, Hinduism, bhudism etc) and trying to learn skills on my own, I do not fancy playing or gisting at all as a child, in my early teen till late teen. I was always reading, learning, or watching movies(I watch just one type of movies, paranormal movies, uptill now) Fast-forward to university, I was the same, always striving, working harder than anyone I know. Along with my Bsc, I acquired an NCE grade level of course,I was learning Tailoring same time. My life was filled with stress but I endured thinking its for the good of it. I had to drop the tailoring because I wasn't able to pay the woman as we agreed, I paid her not up to the quarter of what we agreed, and she wasn't teaching me rightly, and I couldn't complain because I felt guilty, so I had to drop it. My other two courses, I completed and came out as best student in both. I graduated very young and even as the best student, during NYSC waiting, I decided to learn a skill and become professional again, but I didn't have money to pay the woman again, so everyday, I feel guilty while learning, It was a skill that was forced upon me by family members because I hate it so so much, and thus never earned from it,and even left the woman because I didn't pay her. All this time, I was below 20 till my NYSC, so I never had any free time, from sec school, to university immediately. Fast forward to NYSC, I was taken to Adamawa, redeployed and this time, I was very broke, my parents were always going against anything i want to learn,so i decided to learn tailoring. Had to redeploy to a city, searched for the best Tailor in town, and registered with her, she charged me 70k which I payed with my alawee as my parents do not support me, they wanted me to stay with a stupid relative because of free house for me to live, and she was also happy because she had a baby and a shop for me to stay with her, she lives in a big apartment, a room for me, everything comfortable but I declined because I didn't want to waste my service year. My mum was in the US then, everyone abandoned me because of this and not in support of me learning any skill. But I ignored, used my alawi to rent a house (very uncomfortable house), my PPA was far, but I do not mind and rented apartment very close to the place I wanted to learn the skill. I would come back from PPA at 5:00pm, arrived at the shop and start learning, I get home very late most times, feeding was difficult, I used all my money to pay the woman, sometimes I eat just biscuit or nothing at all. This was my life all through NYSC, very stress filled, I was learning very fast and I above all the people I met there, but after 4month of learning, this woman changed and would refuse to teach us,and this was how I wasted the rest of the months of NYSC sitting in her shop. She was later arrested by NYSC for duping etc. At this point, Ive learnt all the theories, as we were been taught in a BRITISH way(it remained practical), to cut it short, I left very frustrated. After NYSC, I jumped to MSC, MSC was tough and rough, I learnt so many things during this period, I was more exposed to the world. I graduated as the best student as well. I tried to learn programming, I stopped because my teacher travelled due to situations he could not manage, my two weeks of learning HTML, CSS, JavaScript was stress filled as well as I would leave class to meet him. I'm an avid reader, I am well knowledgeable about so many things, very critical in thinking, I am well beyond my peers in intelligence, and even in strives. After MSC, I decided to listen to my brother who has been shouting United State, that is when I wasted 1 year(last year) shading shadows, writing many exams. This is 2020 for me. All these while, I could not secure any job, I'm broke as hell. I applied to some places, but wasn't given any. I know how to construct a good CV, Cover letter bla bla bla because I learnt myself, and taught by many other people. About my skills, I hope to buy a sewing machine, I can't sew with the common machine, because I never practiced with it, and I'm an excellent person, I can't manage a mistake in a dress without feeling so bad (like I killed someone), the common one gives gives such problem, I plan to buy one from the US before the corona wahala. My beading skill, I can never do it because I hate beading, and I'm even outdated. My digital marketing/branding skill, I just finished perfecting that to some extent and still learning, I got some few people willing to work with me before the virus wahala. Other skills requires money to start, which I do not possess (That is beauty products making), I can't do jargons for people to use like many people do here. I have tried so many other business, that one reason or the other made me stop. At this point, I'm just tired, it's like I have spent most of my life learning,working hard and striving. And thus, I start things and stop midways nowadays. I looked at myself and see no growth CX I'm broke as hell. I feel so frustrated about everything Edited Please I mentioned the skills to show how much I'm a striving person, I'm not asking anyone on which to pick or focus on. I have better plans for many of the skills but not now so I dropped them and now have one Note** I'm not hungry and this is not for bragging, I just wish to see people that have been through what ive been through and hear from them. Note** You may notice many grammatical errors, please don't crucify me became I've written that I'm intelligent, I typed this very fast without thinking twice. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 4:25am On Apr 19, 2020 |
I know a lot of wise elders are in this forum |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 4:26am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Just battling with some stuffs |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 4:39am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Your type will be the first to say; "PLEASE NO INSULT" or "DON'T CRUCIFY ME" But here's a thread you insulted and crucified someone's wife seeking for advice. https://www.nairaland.com/5794342/what#88457006 I don't advise hypocrites. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by guitarlife2: 4:45am On Apr 19, 2020 |
@OP please send me your whatsap detail on calgaryfriend@zoho.com let me advise you . I understand what you are going through, it is a very delicate state you are but I believe everything will be fine. sTAY STRONG and stay safe. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by OluwasureGig: 6:39am On Apr 19, 2020 |
op life is hard don'tgive up, keep applying you'll get a good job soon. if you believe like this post |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Richy4(m): 7:48am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Just saying that in terms of skill acquisition, The writer has bitten off more than she can chew whill trying to get the right skill . Hence her inability to complete most skills successfully.. it has never worked out for anyone. It's like trying to be the jack of all trade, master of none... When you discovered something that you truly like, u will know it and it comes out effortlessly. Look out for that one skill in your inner mind. U will find it. Not the one imposed on u. As for connections, It'seems that it is not everyone that is so lucky in that department .. Don't worry, your effort will pay some day... One thing I discovered is that you are easily persuaded by people around you. Some times their good intentions were not always the best. It's not too late to follow your intuition.. it helps so that you won't have any one to blame should things doesn't work out... I know that you are introverted. U can't do this by yourself.. if u recognise anything like connection go for it.. it is part of networking... 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Hathor5(f): 9:14am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Acmepreneur, one of the most important life lessons I had to learn is "If you go through hell, keep going". (W. Churchill). I hope you ponder over the wisdom of these words and apply them to your situation. You seem to develop symptoms of depression. I am not a therapist but I think that your attitude is part of the entire problem. On the one hand, you are tooting your own horn telling us how beautiful and intelligent you are and on the other, how everyone has been treating you unjustly. There is nothing wrong with having confidence in oneself but there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance and your description of other people points to the latter. From your family, to your employers, people in your age group and even your boyfriend (I saw your other topics), everyone is at fault. Well, let me put is simply. Nobody owes you anything. The issue is this, if you keep blaming other people for your misfortunes and even fortunes, you will continue disempowering yourself and you will forever remain in your perceived victimhood. Now let me tell you what to do about it. In a moment of relaxation, ask yourself what you have contributed to your situation. I want to believe you that you have been working hard and that you had a lot of stress but what have you done that no person wanted to help you achieve your goals? You wrote that an employer stopped training you? Just like that? What have you done for people to be reluctant to extend a helping hand to you? Have you shown yourself unworthy? Have you wronged them? I don't want the answers to these questions. You need to answer these questions honestly for yourself. I was a young girl once too and life has not always been easy, in fact, I had my fair share of painful experience but along the way I have always encountered an angel in human form (see title of the thread) who would be helpful in one way or another and I have always appreciated it, no matter how little they have done because I understood that nobody owed me and that I alone was responsible for my destiny. And even before I understood that my life would not always be an easy ride, I knew that being kind to people would pay off. So sit down and reminiscence what good you have ever done for anyone else? Please, stop blaming everyone else and come back into your power. Treat people well in deed and thought and you will find that people are not as bad as you make them out to be. But most importantly, before you ask anyone to do anything for you, ask yourself what you have done to them. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 10:04am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Hathor5:You would have been right if she did that to only myself but the woman was arrested, not by me but by other people that she did same for. Yes, I mentioned I'm beautiful, that is true because out of a 100girls, I would be within 1-3, ive always been the most beautiful in all my classes,amidst people and my beauty is quite unique and that's the reason people can't be friends with me without getting overly excited and imagining. And as for intelligence, of course I am, and I know I am, it is not a brag, but plain truth, and I have seen people more intelligent, but not in the same age brackets with me and other people i see that are that intelligent are not close to me, or I haven't been fortunate to be with them. I'm not blaming anyone and the purpose of this is how to cope, I really don't understand where you saw that I'm blaming anyone, and that everyone is unjustly to me except for my unsupportive family that I mentioned. If that is the only thing you see in my write up, then surely, you have missed it somewhere. Asking myself such questions is meaningless to this write up, I have done many things for people and I'm currently doing things for people. And my post is not about people treating me unjustfully, its about frustration and coping. People like you are the reason why people blame themselves in life, imagine you saying I should also blame myself, the only person that was unjust to me was the woman that promised to train and she did well until she saw I was fast ahead and she stopped. There is no where in my write up to show that I fought with anyone, when she reduced teaching, I left, after leaving, she was arrested by other people and taken to court for collecting money from them and not teaching them,which I have no part in. As far as attitude and behaviour is concerned, I'm one of the most loving and judgement free person out there. I have never fought anyone in my entire life or engage in verbal insults. The only bad part of me is that I easily shift away from people after a single mistake, and when I get angry, I go completely quiet. And I don't keep friends or visit people, people don't dissapoint me because I don't give them the chance, I don't play with people and I don't engage in useless discussions. I'm a mute person and everyone would describe me as reserved and quiet. I'm quiet because I don't want to fight or engage in verbal whatever. I can only be trolling on social media, its a form of play to me and that is quite common among introverts, as we can be very sociable online. Please stop saying what you don't know about me, thanks for your advice anyway. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by ogawisdom(m): 11:29am On Apr 19, 2020 |
U have low will power and self discipline. |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Resivim: 11:30am On Apr 19, 2020 |
@Acmepreneur: To say a few, while the importance of self motivation can never be de-emphasized, it's actually not easy to survive alone.... I onced shared a similar experience. First note this, that you're a product of excellence. It's part of those challenges those aiming to be their very best face. You should try and get your state of mind and lifestyles balanced. I know what it means to try to be extremely focus and depending on the principle of self motivation i.e striving hard alone... it's just because you've decided to stand out and not to fit in..... being a mediocre. 1. Now, you should try and get someone just a friend, that shares a similar view and mindset like you do (even if not all) to recharge the innate energy you've got... Maximum of two is ok, to at least discuss constructively based on similar views you've got. 2. Get a small journal and list out all your achievements you've got including skills. Group out all the skills into different phases, e.g Academic, Vocational skills, and other interests. e.t.c. . strategize the ones you have a greater interests and focus your energy on them... You really need someone who shares similar views if not all as you do. Also, try hanging out with other friends and family... let them do the talking while you listen and listen good. If there's a burden on heart, the brain does not function. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 11:40am On Apr 19, 2020 |
Resivim:Thanks, your comment on NL is usually bright. Ive seen you in some other threads before |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by veave(f): 11:59am On Apr 19, 2020 |
.. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 12:07pm On Apr 19, 2020 |
Since you've said you're not looking for advice on what to pick/focus on, my advice is for you to learn to be humble. Refrain from seeing others as beneath you because of the so-called intelligence or beauty you claim to have. True intelligence and beauty speak for themselves without the need to toot your own horn or see others as inferior. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by nanauju(f): 7:22pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: You really know am ![]() Have you gone through her comments here on NL?? It's filled with so much vile, you begin to wonder how one girl can be this angry and pour out her life's frustration on people she doesn't know in the name of having a different opinion. It's sickening 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 7:31pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
nanauju:Lol, maybe she's so frustrated with the life she's living. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by nanauju(f): 7:38pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: That's her fvcking business. Nobody has monopoly to frustration. Nobody really cares on here. It's gbas gbos here o. Seems she's a newbie, she never chop ban enough. Lol na we go help her reset her small pikin brain. She wanted to engage me in her childish vile of stupidity. Madam Acmepreneur, I don't do children o, I nor be ur mate here, u want to come, I'll drag u. First go and cool off in ur ban first 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Lamanii22(f): 7:41pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: Lol otelemuye (investigator/police officer) |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 8:08pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 8:09pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
nanauju:You ladies had issues too? |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Nobody: 8:33pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
Just be HOPEFUL... Do not lose HOPE |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Lamanii22(f): 8:50pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: Awww Jason... I'm very well thank you... How are you tonight? |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 9:20pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
Lamanii22:Doing well... I always smile when I see that pics... Like a little girl who stock some sweets in her mouth and mom said; "Hey Olamide, it's your turn, smile for the camera and I want my friends to see your white teeth" ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Lamanii22(f): 10:55pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by nanauju(f): 12:37am On Apr 21, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: Naah don't have issues with her. She's too minute, shallow minded, and dealing with lots of complex issues for my kind. I replied someone else's comment, and told the op who was seeking advice, to go with that person's comment. Naso from nowhere, person dey mention me, vomiting all sorts of crap I could ever see a lady vomit, loosing every sense of decorum even on a public space. The mods have taken down her thrashy comment, I would have shown u on here, what a so called lady stoop so low to say. At that point I knew I would never play in the mud with a dirty pig, not this time. Called the attention of the mods...but next time she might not be so lucky. I'm gonna drag her like a dragqueen. Nobody has the monopoly of having a loose mouth, but I will show the whimp that she has the monopoly of being stupi1d on the space 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 4:46am On Apr 21, 2020 |
Lamanii22:Iya Lami had no choice than to make her pretty little angel the talk of the town with that beautiful dress. ![]() Thanks to Iya Lami who sat and watch your infant head grow into a pretty lady... That dress should be on exhibition at London and auction for £10million. Good morning. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 4:51am On Apr 21, 2020 |
nanauju:Lol, I know how silly these kids might be sometimes.... Who knows., She might be having some mensural cramps when she replied you.. Just ignore her silly attitude. Good morning. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by GabinoMarket(f): 6:28am On Apr 21, 2020 |
Op maybe you should start with working on your heart and character first. People have mentioned issues with discipline and it seems you have anger issues. Also the lens with which you see the world matters too. I didn’t read too deeply because you lost me at the constant complaining- you have been struggling and struggling. You glossed over all the blessings of your life - having people to rub minds with and who are interested in your progress, being able to redeploy in the first place etc to focus on the negative parts. Life is not perfect- look in the mirror that’s the problem there. Work on yourself- maybe you bite much more than you can chew, maybe you are indisciplined, maybe you are mean-spirited, maybe you always look at the wrong side of things. You owe yourself the best, come out of that dark whole you are digging for yourself please. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by stillwerise: 6:39am On Apr 21, 2020 |
I would have reffered you to someone but i sense a need to narrate or garner traction on your post rather than a cry for help. I no be psychologist but i have one that has helped people. Besides i went through the link someone posted about your response to others. It is malicious, filled with contempt and admirably partisan in some cases.. Even if you just wrote this story to get feedback, you truly need help because i sense you have a dark mind. You've created an alter-ego you battle with and think everything is out to bring you down. No everything is not working against you. You have only self-sabotaged. My only prayer for you is.... May God help you. Rather than give you a number, i will let you go through the pains of typing. send an email to templescounsel@gmail.com. there's a popular counselor on the other end who also helped me with an issue i had. Someone advised me to join NL and i just joined and quietly went to read about people with similar issues until i bumped into my solution on a thread. Something i battled with for years was solved yesterday with one phone call. Madam/Oga If you can pretend to be human, im sure he may help but if i can sense this about you, i suspect the guy will decode you even before you begin. Godspeed Acmepreneur: |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 6:43am On Apr 21, 2020 |
Dear Acmepreneur, This your own hypocrisy is powered by the sun. Cc; nanauju. 1 Like
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Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by Lamanii22(f): 9:53am On Apr 21, 2020 |
JasonJidenna: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Advice: How Do You Cope When Frustrated From All Angles by JasonJidenna(m): 9:58am On Apr 21, 2020 |
Lamanii22:Good morning Olamide. I don't know why I choose to call you that. ![]() Stay Safe beautiful. 1 Like |
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