lefulefu:
she will still come and ask question if its ok to buy groceries for him

lol

[quote author=Trayceey post=88687052]Fellow nairalanders,

I have a pressing issue on ground and I need your contribution. My boyfriend has been working for about 5years now. We've been dating for a while now and he has been so nice and caring. The best ever. In my past experience in relationships, I have been quite generous but the guys turned out to be ingrates so I vowed never to give any boy my penny again. When I met my man,he melted my hardened heart with the love he showered on me. On one occasion, I have borrowed him money and he paid me back. Now he's asking me to borrow him another money. Because if this lockdown, he has gone so broke and he opened up to me. Initially, I did not believe him but when I noticed he has run out of food stuffs and the provisions he normally stock his house with, I believed him. I have more than enough money. The money he's asking for is like chicken change to me. But I don't want him to get used to borrowing from me and I have vowed never to give a guy my money again except if he's my husband. Please I need advice. Fellow ladies like me , what do you think? Should I borrow him?[/quote do it for God

The right word is Lend. You lend to others and borrow from others
Please lend him,he has treated you well throughout the relationship and he always pay back when he borrows from you. No condition is permanent,he will rise again whether you help him or not. If you help him,he will never forget it. That's guys for you, we are a grateful bunch unlike many entitled ....

Let me be sincere with you. You should give him the money not even borrow...better still enter market and replenish his house. If indeed he has been all you claim he is. Dont let your previous experience scatter a good thing for you. Borrowing should only happen if he needs money for a project not when he is broke and needs uplifting especially if this is happening not so frequently....I am sure this care ministers to your needs and takes care of you for you to have said those good things about him

Bola146:
Good you said he is a nice person, give him more if you have. You can add some food stuffs and provisions with it. I'll ask you not to ask about the money again. Good luck to both of you

Olopolo..ej.....

Margy:
If it's chicken change.. then give him
I wonder how much you call chicken change!

If not..do not give him. Don't give him large money and expect him to pay back.. it's impossible.

Stingy girl

lefulefu:
i just tire for some naija babes.one girl the other day used her money to purchase some groceries for me due to this lockdown of a thing.i tried giving her back the money some days ago but she refused.of course she wasnt a naija girl .if na nigerian girl now she for don dey disturb me make i give her back the money wey she take purchase groceries for me .

Lefulefu! This man. You don carry your player wahala go scatter those girls head so tey one dey do grocery shopping for you.
[img]https://media1./images/c2bf4f55dca5d064cc8e7f02fee6ae14/tenor.gif?itemid=4921374[/img]

A man should test his so called woman's attitude to her money. This is very key

No man prays to have a downtime but relationships are meant to be like partnerships or some sort of insurance such that when you are down, u have confidence that your partner will not watch you fall

That confidence is what u should have before u start investing in your partner and making huge sacrifices for them. Forget title girlfriend, baby mama, wife. If you havent tested her attitude towards that which belongs to her. You may gate a rude awakening during your downtime and the hurt may be so devastating that you wont recover

Atleast if u know her to be selfish,stingy and undependable, it will guide your de visions towards investing in her, you do it as charity and never commit so much resources to her...just the basics and mouthed love...be wise

Give what u can afford to loose. take it like u were robbed of that amount, or stolen or misplaced on transit.

can't I find a supportive woman like this, the classic broke lazy girls are just there to collect your blood,money and time.

Anyways givers don't lack.

Jaqenhghar:


Lefulefu! This man. You don carry your player wahala go scatter those girls head so tey one dey do grocery shopping for you.
[img]https://media1./images/c2bf4f55dca5d064cc8e7f02fee6ae14/tenor.gif?itemid=4921374[/img]

not really

Trayceey:
40k

Give him 20k or even 15k. He will not die!

Babe... irrespective you need to save!... don't be like Melinda of the movie Acrimony

Most Nigerians don't know when to use "borrow " and "lend", irrespective of their level of education. And that's very annoying.

lefulefu:
not really

I hear you. Meanwhile how is it there. Is that not the place where a lot of American tourists get killed?

MhizJoyce:
Olopolo..ej.....

Money!

Sister dash him.money if you have enough. But borrow, I don't really know about that because all this borrow this and that can reck relationships. If you have enough, dash him. Though I know he will not accept if you want to dash him. You can just borrow him but in your inner mind, you are willing to forget it. If he's been no e to you then it's time for you to be extra nice to him

Margy:

Give him 20k or even 15k. He will not die!

Babe... irrespective you need to save!... don't be like Melinda of the movie Acrimony

Just listen to yourself Maggie

Don't borrow him. Just dash him from your heart. And don't put your mind, your hope of marriage on a man because you are spending on him.

Just be good to him if you have. If the relationship work out fine. If it doesn't work out, still be fine.

But be very careful. Be sure he's not in the relationship because of your money.
Good luck

Jaqenhghar:

I hear you. Meanwhile how is it there. Is that not the place where a lot of American tourists get killed?

killed ke? the crime rate here is very low oo.the most crime u get here are common bulglary and petty theft.murder and armed robbery rarely happens here.u can come out 12am here and take a stroll and nobody will molest u.their police here dey flex .

Yes. He has proven himself to be a good person. Lend him the money. He will repay the loan

Ariza:
Sometimes I wonder what Nigerians relationships are all about? So you gonna watch your Man starve because you are scared he wouldn't pay back? Have you paid back all he has done for you?

I don't think the @op is concerned about paying back or not, but scared because most broke guys tends to be loving, caring especially when they're in a relationship with a well to do lady just the same way a broke lady will claim when she meet a rich guy.

This is lockdown

people are really suffering
Help him the way you would to a close friend or a sibling.
If you're giving him any money,give him something you know you won't need to collect back.
Even if he doesn't pay you back,you can smile at yourself cuz at least you've settled your conscience

Y don't you buy him food stuff or better still
Pretend to have borrowed the money from someone else, so as soon as he gives you back you can return to the person you borrowed from.
Don't create the impression that you have money, he will keep coming back.

Expensiverichyb:
I don't think the @op is concerned about paying back or not, but scared because most broke guys tends to be loving, caring especially when they're in a relationship with a well to do lady just the same way a broke lady will claim when she meet a rich guy.

even if she doesnt want to give him money she can ask the guy to give him an item of the list of grocery items he need and purchase them for him.this is a guy who she said has done much for her but she is at doubts to repay that kind gesture
na wao

lefulefu:
killed ke? the crime rate here is very low oo.the most crime u get here are common bulglary and petty theft.murder and armed robbery rarely happens here.u can come out 12am here and take a stroll and nobody will molest u.their police here dey flex .

That's nice to know but last year about 12 tourists were killed there. You are not a tourist so you are safe. Those tourists see they might have gone to the wrong place... You sabi them nah

Personally, I try not to expect family to pay me back.

You could send him less than what he asks for? You could get him the foodstuffs he asks for (or when you go shopping, just buy 3 or 4 foodstuffs he likes and say you were thinking of him. You could even buy some foodstuffs and bring to him to cook saying you wanted to cook for your boo (codedly avoiding giving him cash), etc.

Trust is important in a relationship, if you don't trust him (him o not guys), this is an opportunity to learn more

Trayceey:
Fellow nairalanders,

I have a pressing issue on ground and I need your contribution. My boyfriend has been working for about 5years now. We've been dating for a while now and he has been so nice and caring. The best ever. In my past experience in relationships, I have been quite generous but the guys turned out to be ingrates so I vowed never to give any boy my penny again. When I met my man,he melted my hardened heart with the love he showered on me. On one occasion, I have borrowed him money and he paid me back. Now he's asking me to borrow him another money. Because if this lockdown, he has gone so broke and he opened up to me. Initially, I did not believe him but when I noticed he has run out of food stuffs and the provisions he normally stock his house with, I believed him. I have more than enough money. The money he's asking for is like chicken change to me. But I don't want him to get used to borrowing from me and I have vowed never to give a guy my money again except if he's my husband. Please I need advice. Fellow ladies like me , what do you think? Should I borrow him?

Money, money, money! What's so bad giving money to someone who needs it let alone someone who you claim showers you with love and attention?

The problem with us is when we give, we always see it as a form of investment like we are buying something. You can't buy someone and just because you give someone money, you can't expect them to do right by you.

My advice, if he is not 'beggerly', be charitable enough to give him what you can since you said you have more than enough. And if na to borrow, borrow him amount that will not pain you too much if he refused to pay back and run away with another woman. Or do you want your guy to die of hunger in this lockdown?

I know women don't pray to be giving men money and your past experience weren't so nice. Life is not one size fits all. I'm essence, give what you can from your heart and let the universe reward you.

Expensiverichyb:
I don't think the @op is concerned about paying back or not, but scared because most broke guys tends to be loving, caring especially when they're in a relationship with a well to do lady just the same way a broke lady will claim when she meet a rich guy.

If that is the case, she's in best position to know who her boyfriend is. We aren't in the relationship, she is.

Why asking for our validation to assist your bf when you didn't seek our opinions when you were receiving assistance from him left, right sides all this years ? .Now , you have helped him to finished up his savings ,do you ever stop to ponder on why he is broke?
I believed he is simply broke because he was trying to impressed you by forming a nice guy and spending his resources on you . If you really loved him as you professed then buy food and provisions for him and gift him what you can afford to help him with, I'm sure, he won't forget you when he is back on his feet .

Ordinary money you cannot borrow someone you claim to love. Biko shift.

Lostz:
the money is like chicken change to you but you are still asking us question?

you can't even help with money or buy foodstuffs for him so he won't die of hunger?


I blame guys that spend their money on taking care of women. ordinary 20days lockdown and he can't afford to feed.

he won't be in this situation if he saved all the money he use in taking care of you

Don't mind the guy, some folks will never learn.

manmade:
Why asking for our validation to assist your bf when you didn't seek our opinions when you were receiving assistance from him left, right sides all this years ? .Now , you have helped him to finished up his savings ,do you ever stop to ponder on why he is broke?
I believed he is simply broke now because he was trying to impressed you by forming a nice guy and spending his resources on you . If you really loved him as you professed then buy food and provisions for him and gift him what you can afford to help him with, I'm sure, he won't forget you when he is back on his feet .

the relationship ain't up to a year

manmade:
Why asking for our validation to assist your bf when you didn't seek our opinions when you were receiving assistance from him left, right sides all this years ? .Now , you have helped him to finished up his savings ,do you ever stop to ponder on why he is broke?
I believed he is simply broke now because he was trying to impressed you by forming a nice guy and spending his resources on you . If you really loved him as you professed then buy food and provisions for him and gift him what you can afford to help him with, I'm sure, he won't forget you when he is back on his feet .

like you were there