I believe the most powerful statement ever is:
Do unto others as you want done to you

If tables turned, that man's ego would not bear being fed by another man; much less a man who once had sexual relations with his wife. It's an ego thing about a man. God forbid a situation arises where I have to obtain cash from an ex for anything other than a business transaction.

And as someone has said earlier here, "sin thrives in secrecy"

Oluromantic:

Lemme ask you, is it an enemy that sent that money? It was not a lover at the moment or a side chick. An ex-lover... Someone he once knew before he married. Not someone he's having an extramarital affair with at the moment. The wife is stupid.

It's the stupidity that made her husband not open up fully to her at first. I don't like such extremely delicate emotional babies o. I trust my gf. She's super mature... I can tell her anything and that's why I chose her!

And what the woman asked for later (if he's gotten the money) is not bad enough to suspect anything. The wife is just a complicated being.

true...but regardless of the consequences and/or how hard it may be, a man should always be fully honest with his wife/GF.

iamadonis2:
I believe the most powerful statement ever is:
Do unto others as you want done to you

If tables turned, that man's ego would not bear being fed by another man; much less a man who once had sexual relations with his wife. It's an ego thing about a man. God forbid a situation arises where I have to obtain cash from an ex for anything other than a business transaction.

And as someone has said earlier here, "sin thrives in secrecy"

the above is the definition of a misplaced ego....and has no place in a family's life. the idea that a man would rather his children starve than take money from his wife's ex, is very childish but also very dangerous!

MrBrownJay1:


true...but regardless of the consequences and/or how hard it may be, a man should always be fully honest with his wife/GF.



the above is the definition of a misplaced ego....and has no place in a family's life. the idea that a man would rather his children starve than take money from his wife's ex, is very childish but also very dangerous!

At the end of the day, this is a hypothetical situation. My views and yours do not need to align.

MrBrownJay1:


true...but regardless of the consequences and/or how hard it may be, a man should always be fully honest with his wife/GF.

Most of you on this Nairaland talk as if you will remain young forever. Only God knows how long it will take you to distinguish between wisdom and honesty. You shd learn from the story of Samson and delilah in d Bible...if u marry a loose-mouthed woman, you will know that it's not dishonesty to keep some facts away from her.

The guy knows how funny his wife would behave, he told her only what her understand could bear and you're here saying he's not honest. The person who gave him d money was a friend at the moment..an enemy would not help when help is needed the most. That's what his wife's understanding could bear.

Oluromantic:

Most of you on this Nairaland talk as if you will remain young forever. Only God knows how long it will take you to distinguish between wisdom and honesty. You shd learn from the story of Samson and delilah in d Bible...if u marry a loose-mouthed woman, you will know that it's not dishonesty to keep some facts away from her.

The guy knows how funny his wife would behave, he told her only what her understand can bear and you're here saying he's not honest. The person who gave him d money was a friend at the moment..an enemy would not help when help is needed the most. That's what his wife's understanding can bear.

i fully disagree with the above...
1st of all, this has nothing to do with how old one is....there are plenty of geriatric old fools out there.
2nd of all, if you marry a "loose-mouthed" woman, you STILL dont need to be dishonest with her, you just need to prepare/understand that you will go through very difficult times dealing with her... thats what comes with the territory when marrying such woman.
FINALLY, whether your wife will get upset/mad (or not), it is irrelevant to HONESTY in any union. if you cant be fully honest to your partner then you have no business being with that person. you cant go around believing that doing something WRONG can ever be beneficial to your union. thats where wisdom comes into play, as a wise/experienced man would find the proper way to approach his wife with the issue and make her understand that A) there is nothing wrong with help from that person and B) make her understand that you guys NEED this.

if you actually believe that wisdom is to LIE to your wife, then i am sorry to tell you that you must be living in la la land!

MrBrownJay1:


i fully disagree with the above...
1st of all, this has nothing to do with how old one is....there are plenty of geriatric old fools out there.
2nd of all, if you marry a "loose-mouthed" woman, you STILL dont need to be dishonest with her, you just need to prepare/understand that you will go through very difficult times dealing with her... thats what comes with the territory when marrying such woman.
FINALLY, whether your wife will get upset/mad (or not), it is irrelevant to HONESTY in any union. if you cant be fully honest to your partner then you have no business being with that person. you cant go around believing that doing something WRONG can ever be beneficial to your union. thats where wisdom comes into play, as a wise/experienced man would find the proper way to approach his wife with the issue and make her understand that A) there is nothing wrong with help from that person and B) make her understand that you guys NEED this.

if you actually believe that wisdom is to LIE to your wife, then i am sorry to tell you that you must be living in la la land!

I pity you

Fully supported

Healingstringz:
*Your opinion please*

In a nutshell, the lady send 20k into his account instantly.

He jumped up, took his Visa card to the nearest ATM and withdraw. He gave his wife 10k and keep the remaining. He lied to her that a friend sent the money. She buys food stuff and prepare food. He was eating and left his phone on the TV when a message came from his EX asking if he had seen the money.

No vex o! I will share my opinion, only on the parts of your story that struck a chord with me.

Responding rapidly has its advantages. Why didn't you notify your ex sooner, to say thank you I received the money then delete the chat history?

She even contacted you again to ask if you received the money. Kai bros, this attitude rubs me the wrong way cos it reeks of ingratitude.

It wouldn't have taken you more than 5 minutes to acknowledge receipt, show your appreciation and get on with your day.

You had time to go to the ATM, give wifey a part of it to cook, she bought food stuffs, came back and prepped a meal, before the text which gave you away dropped.

You allowed too much time to pass before you expressed gratitude. Simple courtesy, would have saved you all of this stress.

I don't know what your wifey is thinking, by asking the kids not to touch the food. The kids should be fed while you both leave them out of this drama.

Your predicament reinforces for me the importance of saying these words "please" and "thank you".

...

MrBrownJay1:

E) make sure hubby keeps some of the money so he can bury that foolish wife when she dies of hunger.

LIFE GOES ON!

This made me laugh out loud.

khatea:


Justifies the saying "sin thrives in secrecy". The hubby shld v let her know where d money came from

True.

Or better still, gone elsewhere.

This is a very tricky situation. As a lady, it will surely bring tears to eyes but I will never starve the children. God forbid I experience such though!