I visited my sister recently and where she lives, there's this couple. The husband of that lady is the most useless husband alive. From sunrise to sun set, he'll be inside the room with this heat lying down like a log of wood. The wife will be the one to go out and hustle. This woman takes every rubbish this man throws at her and none of her siblings is aware. She praises him among her siblings and they respect him. But the man is an asshole. The only thing is that he's not violent. He's just useless. When I inquired about this lady to understand why she's enduring all these, I got to understand that she's from a troubled family. Her parents kept breeding children without plans for them. The father gave birth to ten children although two died. They didn't have the best of lives growing up. Their family house is nothing to right home about. In fact, the sisters are also hoping to get married in order to leave that house. This lady can't go back to face the troubles her sisters are trying to run away from. In fact, they are looking up to her. This is just one example out of many in this part of the country. There are so many of such troubled families across 9ja.

Marrying a girl from that family will be of great advantage to you I swear. The reason is because she'll do everything possible to remain married in order not to end up like her siblings. She'll endure every rubbish you throw at her because if she remembers that her father's house is not any better, she'll mellow. She'll want to be the only difference among the girls in the family.

OP, if the present one is a good girl, marry her. She'll make sure your children dont end up like her siblings.

There are some families you marry from and you can't tell the girl rubbish cos you know where you took her from. Whereas there are other families where you'll insult your father-in-law and your wife will still be the one to beg you just to stay in your house.

Something to cheer me up finally.

OP u are funny o. There was a time the female friends around me were from separated homes, I was just wondering if everything was okay with me.

Lol. You funny sha.

HisSexcellency:
This is simple, it is a natural law known as automaton conformity. You're drawn to that which you feel comfortable with, it is an involuntary action. Same reason intelligent students in school gets drawn to one another, while the less intelligent ones do likewise.
Same reason it's easier for a smoker to make friend with another smoker in a new environment. Why a poor man easily makes friends with a fellow poor man and the rich with the rich.
Op, it is your personality that attracts them. It will require effort and determination on your part to break this attraction.
Work on this mentality of settling with what you feel comfortable with, and watch how things will change.

Being drawn to an Intelligent, as well as [being drawn to people with] the other features you mentioned can involve a sense of consciousness. You are intelligent, you know the other person is intelligent, of course you'd be naturally drawn to them because you share a feature, and this is highly based on the fact that you know they're also intelligent. The OP's case isn't about personality or being drawn to them, as you opined, because he doesn't know about their conditions before meeting them. Therefore it's not simple! BTW, how can anyone be comfortable with people with familial issues?

Humanoid01:

Intelligence, as well as other features you mentioned can involve a sense of consciousness. You are intelligent, you know the other person is intelligent, of course you'd be naturally drawn to them because you share a feature. The OP's case isn't about personality, as you opined. Therefore it's not simple!

The same thing applies here. In the case of his relationships i believe this is what happened; people from certain backgrounds/ or with childhood experiences behave in certain ways. He must have dated the first lady and certain attributes of hers resonated with his personality, now unknown to him he always looks out for that character/attributes in other ladies too who then just turn out to be from similar family/background as his ex.

Tripitaka:
Have you dated a girl who is a product of incest?
Have you dated a girl whose brother raped the mother for ritual purposes?
Have you dated a girl who grew up to find out that her actual dad is the family driver, but the pregnancy was passed on to the "willing dad"?
Have you dated a girl whose own father has been sexually abusing?
Have you dated a girl whose mother's nude pictures are all over the internet because she was caught shoplifting?

I believe your answer would be "No", as you would have included these in your narrative.

The families in your narrative can hardly be classed as "troubled" as I would like to think that your experiences are the peculiarities of your average Nigerian family. The average Nigerian family where diabolism and fetishism is real; where cohabitation is in vogue because the government outlaws abortion and your parents would insist on you living with the man who impregnated you even if he has no interest in marrying you; where young widows are still oppressed by their late husband's relatives; where poverty and unemployment is the norm hence a 40yr old unemployed man is nothing out of the ordinary.

The women you have been with are not from troubled families, at least in my opinion. They are simply from Nigerian families.

Let me follow this reasonable man on NL asap.

HisSexcellency:


The same thing applies here. In the case of his relationships i believe this is what happened; people from certain backgrounds/ or with childhood experiences behave in certain ways. He must have dated the first lady and certain attributes of hers resonated with his personality, now unknown to him he always looks out for that character/attributes in other ladies too who then just turn out to be from similar family/background as his ex.

It makes more sense now that you decided to explain in detail. But the OP hasn't said anything about being drawn to those ladies due to similar attributes.

you are surely living in a troubled environment.

Abeg, I make cakes and other confectionary for delivery anywhere within Lagos. Please patronize me during this lock down. As brokeness don set in. Hunger no go kill us o... Thanks in advance for the patronage. My number: 08021399452

It might be ur natural destiny or coincidence if u don't like it..change it with ur mouth

HisSexcellency:


The same thing applies here. In the case of his relationships i believe this is what happened; people from certain backgrounds/ or with childhood experiences behave in certain ways. He must have dated the first lady and certain attributes of hers resonated with his personality, now unknown to him he always looks out for that character/attributes in other ladies too who then just turn out to be from similar family/background as his ex.

Believe me, something has been planted in his subconsciousness either from a childhood neighbour, friend or an ex. All my life, I dated only one girl with both parents, all my exes had lost either a father or mother, separated or divorced.

One thing I noticed is that most of the girls wanted to be with me than go home. I enjoyed their company longer than others. I noticed this craving this night

One thing I discover about Nigeria families is mainly family drama. And it leads to disrespect and frustration. My friend If you think you can deal with it go on if not free yourself because it my weigh you down. Last 2 months I had to send 20k to one of my aunty husband after my dad refuse to drop a dime out of annoyance from constant giving, because my aunty husband0 needed the money to settle for connections for a job. That why my dad and mom advice against family drama. The would always be drama in life but you should know the one you can shoulder. It can be very frustrating. But if the lady is worth it i see no problem.

J111333:
Some people are made to be lanterns everywhere they go and for a lantern to be useful, it has to be in the dark.

You may be a lantern to the family of a lady somewhere but in whatever you do, don't overburden yourself. Just do your part and only what you can.

Good luck.

wisdom is not far from you...not like this first person that commented who sounded stupid thinking he made some sense

ayobamiJR:


You are very intelligent. I commend your comment.

rubbish. .I think you both don't understand what he stated there. there's nothing like law attraction there okpo!..that's almost an average Nigeria family life. be thankful you're not in their shoes

creolehunt:


Inasmuch as your comment is sensible, I must point out that i was not aware of their story until we got really involved. So there was no way I could have been drawn to their history.

thank you for schooling that dumbo

Fidelismaria:


What can I say?

You attract what you attract

Lol

according to you trouble family attract trouble family, so that's he's from a trouble family..lol mumu A1 na you be. I wonder if you understand what he posted there. if you don't pls don't post to display your dumbo sense

HisSexcellency:
This is simple, it is a natural law known as automaton conformity. You're drawn to that which you feel comfortable with, it is an involuntary action. Same reason intelligent students in school gets drawn to one another, while the less intelligent ones do likewise.
Same reason it's easier for a smoker to make friend with another smoker in a new environment. Why a poor man easily makes friends with a fellow poor man and the rich with the rich.
Op, it is your personality that attracts them. It will require effort and determination on your part to break this attraction.
Work on this mentality of settling with what you feel comfortable with, and watch how things will change.

In conclusion, if I may ask the OP.
Is your father late?

I can relate

It might just be a call of becoming PEACE AMBASSADOR

Level of girls u meet

Cos most homes don't put efforts to work with each other..

I have had this trend also until I met my current gf and she kinda different.

Same poor background but not extremely because her parents are hard working. Her mum is industrious and her father for an 'urhobo man' is extraordinarily hard working.

When she visits me she buys me snacks and doesn't disturb for money.

I love her, she's a keeper so far so good....

You need prayer be that

Lol

You need prayer be that

Move closer to God

Someone has tie your destiny


With what you just explain bro

Give me thier contacts bruh

I am the problem silver

creolehunt:
I just thought about the girls I've been with and noticed a certain trend. This isn't even about the girls themselves who are excellent human beings, but their families.

First girl I dated revealed to me that the dad died of suspected poisoning and her family were chased out of the family house. Her eldest brother is an area boy while it seems things aren't working out for her other siblings.

The next ones dad was late too, one of her sisters is separated from her husband while the first son of nearly 40 has nothing doing.

The other ones history is that her dad is late too. The eldest sister is cohabiting with a man. They have 2 kids already without being married. Her other sisters bride price was just paid after having 3 kids with a man.

For the other one, her dad is late too, died quite early. The eldest sister is in her 30s and unmarried. Her other sister has 3kids for a man who she isn't married to and now they are separated. Things aren't just working for her people.

The one I just met recently told me her parents are late. Lost both of them to suspected poisoning within the space of one year.

I keep wondering if this is some sort of coincidence.

.

Come lemme tell u about ya family

/
Don't try to be a HERO.

That's all.

\

Maybe you will you be a Messiah in any of them life

Hello fellas, i want to know the current price from Abuja to Benin. Precisely from NyaNya, Abuja.

And which Transport company to use?


Thanks.

Funny you bro. Outta stones, God singled out diamond - decipher the meaning yourself.

Stuck and reverse

Our Science Teacher told us that unlike terms attract. Maybe God wants to use u as Moses in those families