Jullima:
If you don’t want to do court marriage, she can take the church certificate and go and register it in a court and get a statutory certificate, that’s what my aunty did. Please don’t be suspicious of her, she is scared of the horror stories of widows. Yes you love your wife and you’ve dated for 6 years but I am sorry God forbid you die all bets are off. You can’t control how people will treat your kids or your wife when you’re gone.

This doesn’t sound right... how can you go behind your husband’s back and do this without his consent?

If the husband did something that will affect both of them without her input or consent would she be happy?

This doesn’t make sense.

crackkhaus:

Hello, please pay attention if you're really serious about this issue. There's been a lot of comments above filled with the usual emotional blackmails, and I wish I saw the topic earlier.

A court wedding is not what will protect your fiancée at the event of your death, that is complete falsehood.
Having a will (or a testament that will bestow on her the power of attorney on your behalf) during the course of your marriage... this is what will give her the protection she seeks.
You can have a court wedding today and then go on to name your brother/mother/friend in your will...and she will still lose.

As far as a court wedding is concerned, it is necessary ONLY in cases of divorce...so there's really no big deal here bruv.
I suggest you should have a court wedding with her, but since she is insistent on it, please ensure that you do it only on the condition that you will both sign a prenup(legal document) which states exactly how the percentages should be distributed between both of you IF you divorce. Prenups (postnups) can still be updated during the course of your marriage as you both see fit though.

My usual suggestion for a fair prenup is:

1. That you (man) leave ONLY with things purchased in your name, while she (woman) leaves with ONLY things purchased in her name. Avoid using multiple names on your documents. Eg. If you buy something for her, use her name on the document...you can call it love, lol.

2. The house that you will be living in... if it was built from a combined financial contribution or even if just yours, then it will belong to your wife ONLY if the children are less than 18 at the time of the divorce...otherwise it remains yours and she will move out. Any other property owned will be shared on the basis of clause 1 above.

3. Child support should be pegged at 10% of your monthly income ONLY if the children are less than 18yrs of age. Tuition, health, and other expenses will be shared 50/50 equally until they are done with tertiary education. Every other financial support is at your discretion.

4. * Add any other clause here *


It is necessary to remember that if your fiancée wants to protect herself, then you're mandated to protect yourself too...and if you both love each other like you say you do, then none of you will mind. You give her a court marriage and she signs a prenup, everyone is happy.

Don't let anyone blackmail you into doing things because of a love that is meant to go both ways.
The word COMPROMISE does not imply that one person gets to have 100% of their way - it means meeting in the middle such that two people only get to have 50% of their way each, this is a partnership.

Cheers...

Is prenup tenable in Nigerian courts? You’re mistaking Nigeria for America and Europe.

majamajic:
So they can have much Advantage over u

Which advantage? Only people who are planning to marry other wives in the future should be scared of statutory marriage.

Plead:


Is prenup tenable in Nigerian courts? You’re mistaking Nigeria for America and Europe.

100%

Any document/agreement between two or more people, is legally binding in any Nigerian court of law as long as it has been notarized... A prenup is just another document.

A simple Google search about prenups in Nigeria will save us the back and forth, and probably allay your skepticism.

Kboyvic:
I need advise please , she is insisting on court marriage without giving me a good reason why she wants us to go for court marriage before our white wedding/traditional.


Her silly comments
Her first reason was incase something happen to me that my family will not push her out,

That cause we are not fro. The state.

Incase I leave her for another woman in future.

I talk to her what's the meaning of all the comment, u know I wouldn't do all this things ur saying, a lady have be in relationship with over 6years still have doubt. She cried all through out the night begging me I didn't accept.

In the morning we settled that and we are fine after giving her reason why I wouldn't do all that she mention.


Lately she came back telling me that her madam advise her to go for court marriage that it's very important, na here another problem come start again concerning the court marriage. If not for the lockdown our marriage is suppose to come by June.

Why am saying no to court marriage, am thinking she wants to act anyhow after we get married. I love her but she taking the court thing as claterial for u.

Either you go for court marriage or not the moment she has children for you, you can't separate from her except through court process...
Provided she knows other avenue to go about it...

Marriage Nah scam...and both of you are just playing una self...there is no love in this relationship... All Nah scam..the truth will come out in the future

crackkhaus:

Hello, please pay attention if you're really serious about this issue. There's been a lot of comments above filled with the usual emotional tirades, and I wish I saw the topic earlier.

A court wedding is not what will protect your fiancée at the event of your death, that is complete falsehood.
Having a will (or a testament that will bestow on her the power of attorney on your behalf) during the course of your marriage... this is what will give her the protection she seeks.
You can have a court wedding today and then go on to name your brother/mother/friend in your will...and she will still lose.

As far as a court wedding is concerned, it is necessary ONLY in cases of divorce...so there's really no big deal here bruv.
I suggest you should have a court wedding with her, but since she is insistent on it, please ensure that you do it only on the condition that you will both sign a prenup(legal document) which states exactly how the percentages should be distributed between both of you IF you divorce. Prenups (postnups) can still be updated during the course of your marriage as you both see fit though.

My usual suggestion for a fair prenup is:

1. That you (man) leave ONLY with things purchased in your name, while she (woman) leaves with ONLY things purchased in her name. Avoid using multiple names on your documents. Eg. If you buy something for her, use her name on the document...you can call it love, lol.

2. The house that you will be living in... if it was built from a combined financial contribution or even if just yours, then it will belong to your wife ONLY if the children are less than 18 at the time of the divorce...otherwise it remains yours and she will move out. Any other property owned will be shared on the basis of clause 1 above.

3. Child support should be pegged at 10% of your monthly income ONLY if the children are less than 18yrs of age. Tuition, health, and other expenses will be shared 50/50 equally until they are done with tertiary education. Every other financial support is at your discretion.

4. * Add any other clause here *


It is necessary to remember that if your fiancée wants to protect herself, then you're mandated to protect yourself too...and if you both love each other like you say you do, then none of you will mind. You give her a court marriage and she signs a prenup, everyone is happy.

Don't let anyone blackmail you into doing things because of a love that is meant to go both ways.
The word COMPROMISE does not imply that one person gets to have 100% of their way - it means meeting in the middle such that two people only get to have 50% of their way each, this is a partnership.

Cheers...

I beg to disagree. When either of the spouse die and the question about the claimant of the property of the deceased is raised. lawyer or court will ask is that, did he or she marry? ..automatically, the.law recognizes either of the spouses as the beneficiary of a deceased property...except there is a written will.

Kboyvic:
I need advise please , she is insisting on court marriage without giving me a good reason why she wants us to go for court marriage before our white wedding/traditional.


Her silly comments
Her first reason was incase something happen to me that my family will not push her out,

That cause we are not fro. The state.

Incase I leave her for another woman in future.

I talk to her what's the meaning of all the comment, u know I wouldn't do all this things ur saying, a lady have be in relationship with over 6years still have doubt. She cried all through out the night begging me I didn't accept.

In the morning we settled that and we are fine after giving her reason why I wouldn't do all that she mention.


Lately she came back telling me that her madam advise her to go for court marriage that it's very important, na here another problem come start again concerning the court marriage. If not for the lockdown our marriage is suppose to come by June.

Why am saying no to court marriage, am thinking she wants to act anyhow after we get married. I love her but she taking the court thing as claterial for u.

Don't be silly.

If you love your woman then go to court and marry her so she is protected by law. Not just her, your kids as well.

There are many instances where a man dies and his family come and take all his properties claiming one useless tradition or culture and the woman is left to struggle to feed the kids on her own.

Things you need to get your wife:

- A court wedding
- Her own business(even if she is working)

You can will your properties to your kids.

If you don't trust her not to misbehave after getting a court wedding then you should not bother getting married to her.

You sef, after 6 years and your brain cannot tell you that getting a court wedding is right then you have issues.

In case you are wondering, I am married too and we did the court wedding.

I don't want a situation whereby some dumbass family members will show from nowhere after I am dead to claim a thread on my boxers.

Protect your wife and kids LEGALLY!

sweetmelanin:
Sounds like you don't trust your 'wife'

You can still do the court wedding but get a prenup if you're so worried

Probably the Op is a Muslim. They claim that the Quran doesn't support court marriage .they have forgotten they will also have a daughter

I think I will support the woman. She must have seen something you are not seeing. If you really love your woman and want to secure the lives of her future and that of your children, then go for the court marriage.
I really don't know which part of the country you are from, but from many experiences from married couple women not legally married go through a lot in the hands of unreasonable and mean in-laws after the demise of their husband (God forbid early death for us), claiming they have right to their brother properties. They won't allow the kids to have access to their Father's properties, talkless of their mother. Also, they might not have access to your entitlements from where you work.
I will greatly suggest you here to her plea, talk to her and hear her out.

Gforce2015:

I beg to disagree. When either of the spouse die and the question about the claimant of the property of the deceased is raised. lawyer or court will ask is that, did he or she marry? ..automatically, the.law recognizes either of the spouses as the beneficiary of a deceased property... except there is a written will.

You answered yourself by repeating what I already acknowledged.

crackkhaus:
...
You can have a court wedding today and then go on to name your brother/mother/friend in your will...and she will still lose.

crackkhaus:

100%

Any document/agreement between two or more people, is legally binding in any Nigerian court of law as long as it has been notarized... A prenup is just another document.

A simple Google search about prenups in Nigeria will save us the back and forth, and probably allay your skepticism.

With or without prenup the court won’t share shit after divorce unless there’s proof that the property was jointly owned.

No Nigerian court has shared wealth and property 20% or more during divorce.

You only get what you contributed to or what you owned.

hahn:


Don't be silly.

If you love your woman then go to court and marry her so she is protected by law. Not just her, your kids as well.

There are many instances where a man dies and his family come and take all his properties claiming one useless tradition or culture and the woman is left to struggle to feed the kids on her own.

Things you need to get your wife:

- A court wedding
- Her own business(even if she is working)

You can will your properties to your kids.

If you don't trust her not to misbehave after getting a court wedding then you should not bother getting married to her.

You sef, after 6 years and your brain cannot tell you that getting a court wedding is right then you have issues.

In case you are wondering, I am married too and we did the court wedding.

I don't want a situation whereby some dumbass family members will show from nowhere after I am dead to claim a thread on my boxers.

Protect your wife and kids LEGALLY!

There’s nothing like court marriage btw.
It is called statutory marriage and not court marriage.

Kboyvic:
I need advise please , she is insisting on court marriage without giving me a good reason why she wants us to go for court marriage before our white wedding/traditional.


Her silly comments
Her first reason was incase something happen to me that my family will not push her out,

That cause we are not fro. The state.

Incase I leave her for another woman in future.

I talk to her what's the meaning of all the comment, u know I wouldn't do all this things ur saying, a lady have be in relationship with over 6years still have doubt. She cried all through out the night begging me I didn't accept.

In the morning we settled that and we are fine after giving her reason why I wouldn't do all that she mention.


Lately she came back telling me that her madam advise her to go for court marriage that it's very important, na here another problem come start again concerning the court marriage. If not for the lockdown our marriage is suppose to come by June.

Why am saying no to court marriage, am thinking she wants to act anyhow after we get married. I love her but she taking the court thing as claterial for u.

She wants court marriage because:
1. She wants to insure against your family 'pushing' her out incase anything happens.

2. Incase you decide to marry another woman in future.

You don't want court marriage because:
1. She might misbehave in future.

Maybe you guys should wonder why you are getting married first with so much innuendos and mistrust between you too. You think her reason is silly and do not think yours is silly

And it is on NL I saw men's 'reluctance' to do court wedding.

It is usually a normal process that just flows.

Either court marriage or getting married in a Church (RCCG, Catholic etc.) affiliated to the Government so you automatically have the certificate.

budaatum:

Really? I better go check if I'm married!

I thought marrying anywhere you get a marriage certificate from was accepted by law.

If you got married in a registered church/mosque/shrine affiliated with the Government.

Plead:


There’s nothing like court marriage btw.
It is called statutory marriage and not court marriage.

Na naija we dey. When you marry in the court na court marriage

I dont get why you are so apprehensive abou this,who doesn't want a secured future?. You could have a marriage contract protecting what ever assets either of you own before the marriage, incase the marriage doesn't work out. But whatever is built during the marriage must belong to both of you. We still have cultures that manipulate and abuse widows& their children ,so it is always wise to make sure their are protected by the law incase of your untimely death.

This marriage Law wahala: first, it is the principle of Law that a later (latter) event vitiated (cancels) an earlier one. That was why it is wisely recommended that you marry traditionally, then go to a Marriage Registry to marry under the Marriage Acts/law of countries, popularly and erroneously called Court Marriage.

The marriage under the Act will Cancel the Marriage under Tradition.

So the woman is even making the mistake she is trying to avoid, meaning the man can do all the things she fears ( marry other wives etc) and it is valid because she consented (agreed) to it.

Lionessza6:
I dont get why you are so apprehensive abou this,who doesn't want a secured future?. You could have a marriage contract protecting what ever assets either of you own before the marriage, incase the marriage doesn't work out. But whatever is built during the marriage must belong to both of you . We still have cultures that manipulate and abuse widows& their children ,so it is always wise to make sure their are protected by the law incase of your untimely death.

That’s the part they are apprehensive about. The possibility that what’s acquired during the marriage might be called a jointly owned asset.

The will to ignore whatever she contributed to the family as inconsequential is strong.

bukatyne:


Maybe you guys should wonder why you are getting married first with so much innuendos and mistrust between you too. You think her reason is silly and do not think yours is silly

People have been severely burnt because they totally trusted the people they were married to. Having unflinching trust is no remedy for a duplicitous partner, hence the reluctance of many to go through with a statutory wedding.

We often here about how a statutory marriage safeguards the bride, now, men are trying to safeguard themselves. I think that’s totally fair.

Lionessza6:
I dont get why you are so apprehensive abou this,who doesn't want a secured future?. You could have a marriage contract protecting what ever assets either of you own before the marriage, incase the marriage doesn't work out. But whatever is built during the marriage must belong to both of you. We still have cultures that manipulate and abuse widows& their children ,so it is always wise to make sure their are protected by the law incase of your untimely death.

When you say whatever was built in the marriage must belong to both partners, does that principle still stand if the woman turns out richer than her husband and then a divorce happens? Or is this just said in assumption that the husband will have the upper hand financially

cococandy:


That’s the part they are apprehensive about. The possibility that what’s acquired during the marriage might be called a jointly owned asset.

The will to ignore whatever she contributed to the family as inconsequential is strong.

Yet richer women are notorious for alimony-shaming men who feel deserving of alimony upon divorce.

IMO, everybody should get whatever they built themselves or a share of what was truly jointly built/acquired. After all, divorce rape is a thing

LeRabbite:


Yet richer women are notorious for alimony-shaming men who feel deserving of alimony upon divorce.

known by who? Women also get alimony shamed but either way it’s wrong simple and short. You know that and I know that . Never mind your statistics.

Heck even women get shamed for child support. A Child that was made by both of them. Yet women are shamed for wanting support to raise the kids.

IMO, everybody should get whatever they built themselves or a share of what was truly jointly built/acquired. After all, divorce rape is a thing

as usually is while married. Few cases may be exempt

candyguyofficia:
Let me break down the analysis of court marriage.


An overview of the nature of Customary Law Marriage.
As a general rule in Nigeria and most Africa countries most widows cannot inherit from their deceased husband property as these females are regarded as property that should be managed, "shared" and governed, as a "property" cannot manage another property. In Osilaja v Osilaja the Supreme Court stated that the customary law rule that a widow cannot inherit her husband's estate has become so notorious (kindly note that "notorious" do not mean as negative word as defined in English dictionary rather it notorious as used by the court means so popular very popular) by frequent proof in courts that it has become judicially noticed.

policy

And this is just the shit that makes fills me rage and I just can't wait to take it down and Destroy it,. What can be more repugnant and unjust than this ? (Well many, but this shit is included and must be brought down).

The Law is always fair, reasonable and just, but our human unfair/wicked/pervert judges need to be .....d

cococandy:


That’s the part they are apprehensive about. The possibility that what’s acquired during the marriage might be called a jointly owned asset.

The will to ignore whatever she contributed to the family as inconsequential is strong.

Well,people who think like that dont really want partners,they are likely looking for servants that they can reprodue with. Marriage is a partnership not a competition of who is more important and who is not ,its like building a house . Bricks,cement & sand are all needed to make the house stand for a longtime,they dont cost the same neither do they have the same weight and functions, but the most important thing is that there is no house without those 3 elements. People with poverty mentality should stay away from marriage, imo, because I sense this is the main issue here.

cococandy:
known by who? Women also get alimony shamed but either way it’s wrong simple and short. You know that and I know that . Never mind your statistics.

Heck even women get shamed for child support. A Child that was made by both of them. Yet women are shamed for wanting support to raise the kids.
as usually is while married. Few cases may be exempt

There was a comment on this forum years ago about lawyers making jest of a man who fought for alimony. Lawyers in that case o. A few weeks ago Adele’s ex came under fire. Mary J Blige’s husband was vilified. The list is endless. Such men are regarded as less than men. At worst, women are regarded as not deserving alimony. Nobody shames women. Even when McKenzie Bezos divorces her husband, the only complaint was that she didn’t deserve to receive as much as she got not that she wasn’t deserving of some change. The story is completely different for men. Not that men aren’t barred from receiving alimony, though.

How many men get child support? I haven’t seen women shamed for child support except in instances where they do not want to share custody

LeRabbite:


There was a comment on this forum years ago about lawyers making jest of a man who fought for alimony. Lawyers in that case o. A few weeks ago Adele’s ex came under fire. Mary J Blige’s husband was vilified. The list is endless. Such men are regarded as less than men. At worst, women are regarded as not deserving alimony. Nobody shames women. Even when McKenzie Bezos divorces her husband, the only complaint was that she didn’t deserve to receive as much as she got not that she wasn’t deserving of some change. The story is completely different for men. Not that men aren’t barred from receiving alimony, though.

well I think that’s wrong. That’s my own opinion. I can’t speak for the others.

How many men get child support?

women primarily care for the kids. Makes sense that way. Few men do get child support in my neck of the woods. When they are the primary care givers. Which isn’t often.

I haven’t seen women shamed for child support except in instances where they do not want to share custody

hmm

LeRabbite:


When you say whatever was built in the marriage must belong to both partners, does that principle still stand if the woman turns out richer than her husband and then a divorce happens? Or is this just said in assumption that the husband will have the upper hand financially

The bolded is your answer. That is why I even said,this must be documented so that incase of a divorce or death no one will be shortchanged.

I don’t think the poster means doing it behind his back.

But I could be wrong

Plead:


This doesn’t sound right... how can you go behind your husband’s back and do this without his consent?

If the husband did something that will affect both of them without her input or consent would she be happy?

This doesn’t make sense.

cococandy:
I don’t think the poster means doing it behind his back.

But I could be wrong

Please don’t mind him, he knows what I meant. He’s carrying a grudge from an earlier exchange on another thread.

Plead:


With or without prenup the court won’t share shit after divorce unless there’s proof that the property was jointly owned.

No Nigerian court has shared wealth and property 20% or more during divorce.

You only get what you contributed to or what you owned.

Too much English is what will make this conversation long and windy.

If a prenup says we will share everything 50/50, the courts will comply. Just like it will if it's also 60/40, 70/30, 80/20, etc..
Fine-tuning the details of what and what can be in these percentages, is what I already provided in abstract form in my first comment.


You claimed that no Nigerian court has ever shared wealth and property 20% or more during divorce... well while this is a baseless generalization, it could happen often because the couples had no prenup for how it should be shared, so the court will revert to a default sharing formula and guess what? It doesn't benefit women as much as they think in Nigeria - at most she'll get the house they were living in, and get child support which is always a meager percentage of what the man earns monthly.

Any businesses or other property (along with the proceeds) owned by the man will 100% remain his own - a business that was not registered in the CAC as a partnership does not automatically become a jointly-owned business because you are married.

Courts are only concerned with the welfare of children during a divorce, a prenup is more comprehensive in providing some kind of cushion for a woman based on a sharing formula agreed previously upon between her and her husband.

Now the real reason women don't like prenups despite the fact that it's better than just relying on courts to use their discretion, is that a prenup will only distribute wealth/property based on who made/owns it.
Wealth here means tangible assets/contribution, not who was cooking and doing chores, or who was looking after the baby more - the latter is not wealth, but just physical effort to make your marriage work.
A prenup usually will not compensate a woman for being the mother or wife she willingly accepted to become, unless the man just wants to be fair.

I talked about Jay Z and Beyoncé a few days ago and how their prenup wasn't beneficial enough to her and was probably why she didn't divorce him after his infidelity.
If they had no prenup, the court would probably have split everything down the middle.


Meanwhile, back to the topic itself...
The court wedding his fiancée is asking for will not automatically grant her anything when he dies.
If he decides to write a will, then that is what will be used. If he decides to grant someone else power of attorney, then she will still lose.

A smart man will always know how to work around the system when it comes to situations like these. The OP shouldn't even be jittery.

candyguyofficia:
Let me break down the analysis of court marriage.


Marriage under the Act Vis a Vis Succession Matters
The type of marriage celebrated by an individual has a significant role to play in determining the type of law that will apply in the dissolution/distribution of the estate (property) of the deceased who dies intestate (without a Will), this is because marriage influence personal law. For a person who during his lifetime contracted a Marriage under the Act the custom which the person was naturally subjected to by nature will not be applicable as regard how the deceased estate (property) will be shared rather it will be the English Law that will govern the distribution of the estate. English Law do not generally mean the Received English Law will be what will be applicable as local legislation can/will be applied such as the Administration of Estate Law


However, in Cole v Cole, Mr. Cole a native of Lagos who also died in Lagos during his lifetime got married to a Sierra Leonea and contracted Marriage under the Act/"Court Marriage", Mr. Cole died with is wife, child and his own brother surviving him. Upon Mr. Cole death, is brother went to court to be declared customary heir (i.e right to inherit ALL of his brother's property solely in accordance with the custom to which the late Mr. Cole was naturally subjected to), the court in interpreting section 14, 19 of the Supreme Court Ordinance of 1876 held that customary law is not the applicable law to the distribution of the estate/property of Late Mr. Cole (meaning Cole brother can't inherit his brother's property in line with custom of Late Mr. Cole) but the English Law this is because the Late Mr. Cole had contracted a Marriage under the Act/"Court Marriage" sometimes referred to as Christian Marriage (Note I said earlier that some Christian marriage in practice are fanfare as they do not constitute Marriage under the Act, its technical but like I said I won't bore you with it). The decision of the court in Cole v Cole is in line with Section 49 (5) of the Administration of Estate Law.

To policy

The Law of Succession and inheritance is based on Relationships and Marriage is one of the Relationships that Must be under consideration in determining who shall inherit or succeed.

And not just relationship alone, the strength of the relationship Must be in Issue Always.

And before every Just Court, A valid Marriage of Any Kind has its full powers, As it is the Law, He who bears the Burden must Bear the Benefit.

So your statement up there about a person under customary law being inapplicable is very wrong and unjust-for the Law Does No Wrong.

Also English Law always belongs to the English People not Nigerians because English Law is the. Traditional law and costum of the English People, while we Nigerians already have our own Traditional law and costum, (which requires plenty of amendments) even before and after those English Armed Robbers came.

So English law does not work in Nigeria like Nigerian laws do not work in England.

That's why the decision in Cole vs Cole was good but the ground (as stated above) was wrong, in that a marriage under the Act createes joint ownership of property and all rights must flow from there first, not on the ground of Succession Laws, because Succession Follows Relationship Always

Kboyvic:
I need advise please , she is insisting on court marriage without giving me a good reason why she wants us to go for court marriage before our white wedding/traditional.


Her silly comments
Her first reason was incase something happen to me that my family will not push her out,

That cause we are not fro. The state.

Incase I leave her for another woman in future.

I talk to her what's the meaning of all the comment, u know I wouldn't do all this things ur saying, a lady have be in relationship with over 6years still have doubt. She cried all through out the night begging me I didn't accept.

In the morning we settled that and we are fine after giving her reason why I wouldn't do all that she mention.


Lately she came back telling me that her madam advise her to go for court marriage that it's very important, na here another problem come start again concerning the court marriage. If not for the lockdown our marriage is suppose to come by June.

Why am saying no to court marriage, am thinking she wants to act anyhow after we get married. I love her but she taking the court thing as claterial for u.

Laughs - she needs assurance and security. Yes, you are right she would act differently because she feels she has the security of the court. In this matter, it is completely up to you. If you do not want it, then don't do it and be firm. Inform her if she brings the matter up again, you will call off the wedding. Do not fall for the manipulation and whips of women. Stand your ground. If she succeeds with this - guess what will happen, more manipulations.

I did not have a court marriage and I don't know why Nigerian women are insisting on it these days. Nigeria is not like western countries where the court gets involved in marriages. A man can dissolve his marriage without going to the courts in Nigeria. Your future wife is only trying to protect herself from you already before even getting married - WOMEN - OMG - THEY NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME.