I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Dey blow English dey go.

Once the baby sleeps in your arm, transfer her to the bed na so that you can do chores while asleep.

Person way get cap no get head and person way get head no get cap....that’s your case ma’am..Appreciate every bit of him remember you can’t have it all. Why do you want to create problems anyway if you don’t want him domestic get a maid

Lols,what do humans really want?

This is egungun miss road

I just hope that your female friends are not on Nairaland reading this else ......

This one is surprising o, me for instance does exactly what your husband is doing and I damm love it.
My wife even finds it amazing sef

You just dey find wahala when problem nor dey.
If only I can be like ur husband.
Most women are looking for a supportive husband.
What I will advice is not to let him stress himself out by doing some of the house chores before he picked it up to do or when he start it, just take it from him & tell him u will finish the job even if he insists.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

I tire honestly

You are just insecured because you feel you should be doing the house chores while he goes out. It is a result of the conditioning of our culture where men where not suppose to go to the kitchen or do house chores.
Your husband sounds like a good person or you don get him mumu button. Enjoy it while it last.

Na wa oo!

And here I am, promising myself that I'm going to be extremely supportive to my wife IF I eventually get married. Women, wetin exactly una want sef?

Ki leleyi tun fe bayi.....you get problem woman....this is the reason why it's not good to be good all the time...."your being good can be used against you"...continue saying trash, he will soon discover and stop then your eyes will open...

The husband simply can't tolerate living like a pig. He has sensed you're lazy and dirty that's why he's taking it upon himself to do all the chores. Correct husband!

you help ur wife out na wahala,you no help ur wife na wahala.naija women tire me

Lol

samwash:
You just dey find wahala when problem nor dey.
If only I can be like ur husband.
Most women are looking for a supportive husband.
What I will advice is not to let him stress himself out by doing some of the house chores before he picked it up to do or when he start it, just take it from him & tell him u will finish the job even if he insists.

That's the problem, he will not allow me to do anything, and it really pains me seeing him stressed out.

Beautykate:


That's the problem, he will not allow me to do anything, and it really pains me seeing him stressed out.

That's a lovely husband you have.
If I may ask you, you kwn ur man better, has he been doing this before you guys got married or his behavior just suddenly change ?
Pple like him don't like seeing dirty & can't stay in dis-organize environment. Just try to always cushion him.
I have seen few men like him, when you look deep down family history you will be amazed that it boils down to good parental up bring. From expirence.

i am patiently waiting for the day, somebody will come and cti a thread of how their husbands are just too handsome, and they seeking for advice on naiarland

what won't we see? you have no problem, madam.

samtinx:
i am patiently waiting for the day, somebody will come and cti a thread of how their husbands are just too handsome, and they seeking for advice on naiarland

like seriously! op, you better come and ask what we experienced in marriage, you will give thanks to God for your hubby.

Beautykate:

I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

You sound like someone I know. If you are the person I have in mind then the work will not kill your husband. He is like that. Right from when I first knew him. I told him then that he will have a problem when he gets married. His "too clean" ways will put unnecessary pressure on his future wife.

I would advise that you take it easy. You are breastfeeding and that in itself is a full time job. You don't need to bother much right now. When your child is old enough and you are strong enough then do only the chores you can. Do not try to go beyond your capabilities in a bid to get him to do less chores. You will lose! He has been like that for years before you came into the picture.

Look for alternative ways to get him to forget about work. You can start with ensuring you reduce the way you litter the place. I assure you that the way he does his chores will not kill him. He may die faster if he stops. Now this is me being a little extreme but I think he has a condition which may not let him stop doing that much chores even if he wanted to.

Beautykate:

I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

He's taking care of his home and kid. Better enjoy the time off while it lasts.

Hmmm

.. why do I have a strong feeling that this story is fake?

Troll account.

Some nitwits will soon come and call your husband a SIMP.

CaptainStephen:
This one is surprising o, me for instance does exactly what your husband is doing and I damm love it.
My wife even finds it amazing sef

She isn't complaining that he's doing it, women love when the men are handy around the house, but when it overshadows his fun loving side, it became an issue. A typical case of 'too much of a good thing'

Humanoid01:
Na wa oo!

And here I am, promising myself that I'm going to be extremely supportive to my wife if I get married. Women, wetin exactly una want sef?

We don't want you to turn completely to housemaid. Do some chores, yes, but leave the rest for us.

sweetmelanin:

Hmmm

.. why do I have a strong feeling that this story is fake?

It is fake, whoever Op is want to start war of words between both genders.

Biglittlelois:



It is fake, whoever Op is want to start war of words between both genders.

LOL ..but that shii is getting old and redundant now. Are people not tired? Smh.

Never allow our husband to see you have taken him for granted for doing house chores...

Forget western mentality! This is Nigeria

And don't tell your friends about this, else they take advantage of this.

Your husband is your priority... not saying your child is not your priority

Beosten:
Dey blow English dey go.

Once the baby sleeps in your arm, transfer her to the bed na so that you can do chores while asleep.

Lmao