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I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) - Family - Nairaland

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I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Lordsonn: 11:54am On Apr 29, 2020
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?

200 Likes 18 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by OGand99others: 11:55am On Apr 29, 2020
cry cry

290 Likes 14 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by gamapoy539: 11:56am On Apr 29, 2020
FAKÈ story and a HÒAX! believe this at your peril.

461 Likes 33 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Ekakamba: 11:57am On Apr 29, 2020





I advise you to advise yourself. undecided

515 Likes 24 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by joceey(m): 12:00pm On Apr 29, 2020
kiss

2 Likes

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Lordsonn: 12:01pm On Apr 29, 2020
gamapoy539:
Fakè story

Not a fake story. I am so worried now about this marriage wahala

52 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by mymadam(m): 12:03pm On Apr 29, 2020
Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all...

...What do you think I should do?[/b]

Ask Google! ...Nonsense undecided

44 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Lordsonn: 12:04pm On Apr 29, 2020
Her family members are attacking me spiritually. They are trying to hurt me and even end my life. For two weeks now, any time i sleep, I always fight with some members of her family in the dream

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Drince: 12:05pm On Apr 29, 2020
SMH

325 Likes 25 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by psucc(m): 12:06pm On Apr 29, 2020
Except you have never committed sin, I will advice you go on with the divorce. But if you have, even for once, try and forgive her. She must have played that game to quit single.

Again, if you can accomidate her, yöu can as well build her into her own dream. Millions are married to illitrates and still build great homes.

Remember, you swore to an oath to love her till the end.

91 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by MedicH: 12:06pm On Apr 29, 2020
You both are immature and u Mr man u are very silly and a disgrace to manhood.

69 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by James4bright(m): 12:07pm On Apr 29, 2020
Let that woman go and give your son the future he deserves.

17 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by gamapoy539: 12:08pm On Apr 29, 2020
Lordsonn:


Not a fake story. I am so worried now about this marriage wahala
Someone who is desperately in need of sound advice wouldn't have the time to look for not just one picture but multiple pictures to add to his concocted story.

251 Likes 14 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Lordsonn: 12:11pm On Apr 29, 2020
gamapoy539:

Someone who is desperately in need of sound advice wouldn't have the time to look for not just one picture but multiple pictures to add to his concocted story.
I have all this pictures in my laptops long ago. And i am using the laptop to browse even now. You don't need to believe this. Just forget...

32 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by James4bright(m): 12:12pm On Apr 29, 2020
gamapoy539:
Fakè story

What's so fake about the story? 70% of Nigerian women don't act differently from Op's wife.

They are manipulative and would do anything to get under a successful man.

323 Likes 16 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Timil: 12:13pm On Apr 29, 2020
Do what pleases you!!

If divorcing her is what you wish for then go ahead with it regardless of what your family members or those of hers says or does.

Any relationship that doesn't give you peace or joy isn't worth fighting for. Leave while you can so as to keep your sanity.

62 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by MrSly(m): 12:14pm On Apr 29, 2020
This is outright deceit and cheating of highest order. In fact the lady in question suppose to be handed over to EFCC for fraud charges. In my church (Catholic) this marriage never existed between th both of you because it was built on lies and deceit. That is to say that you are not even married to her in first place.

222 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by benedima1990(m): 12:16pm On Apr 29, 2020
I can feel ur pain brother, needless to say you're too young to kill yourself now

I tried so much to b fair with my judgement on her but the betrayal, illiteracy and extreme extrovert is something me too cannot withstand ,hence I feel your pain

if u are well to do , get another apartment for her and her child, feed and take care of their expenses, get yourself another suitable wife that will match your standard . if not , one of u will develop hypertension soon .

77 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by omolasho: 12:16pm On Apr 29, 2020
MedicH:
You both are immature and u Mr man u are very silly and a disgrace to manhood.
Nawa o adviser �

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by ChybuzzDD(m): 12:21pm On Apr 29, 2020
MedicH:
You both are immature and u Mr man u are very silly and a disgrace to manhood.

It's not true, bros. You're the one being immature and very silly here.
Marriage cannot be founded on falsehood and deception!
The Holy Books are against it, and empowers the man/woman to seek for divorce.
Maybe, you're an atheist!
I hope you won't call God "very silly" for not forgiving Lot, or Apostle Peter "very immature" for not forgiving Ananias and Sepphira in the Bible after their disobedience and lies respectively??

81 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by omolasho: 12:21pm On Apr 29, 2020
Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?


Whao! This is serious bro. I hope God whom both of you failed to get involved in the beginning of this relationship would in his infinite mercy now intervene.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by gaby(m): 12:23pm On Apr 29, 2020
This is the definition of obtaining by trick (OBT) a.k.a scam.

There is a good enough ground for divorce as a result of the above.

29 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by ChybuzzDD(m): 12:23pm On Apr 29, 2020
MrSly:
This is outright deceit and cheating of highest order. In fact the lady in question suppose to be handed over to EFCC for fraud charges. In my church (Catholic) this marriage never existed between th both of you because it was built on lies and deceit. That is to say that you are not even married to her in first place.

Exactly!
You're not like that drunken boy up there.
He thinks marriage is the same as friendship.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Lordsonn: 12:25pm On Apr 29, 2020
benedima1990:
I can feel ur pain brother, needless to say you're too young to kill yourself now

I tried so much to b fair with my judgement on her but the betrayal, illiteracy and extreme extrovert is something me too cannot withstand ,hence I feel your pain

if u are well to do , get another apartment for her and her child, feed and take care of their expenses, get yourself another suitable wife that will match your standard . if not , one of u will develop hypertension soon .

Thanks. It is really affecting me. I am a lecturer in a private university, I lectured online yesterday via zoom, all the students and management discovered that something is wrong with me somewhere. I performed far below the way I used to lecture because i was really worried and depressed. I have another lecture by 4 pm today, I will try to look happy. They don't know what i'm passing through... i'm a young man of 33 years. the woman is even older than me, after i discovered her real age

73 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by skillmyman(m): 12:27pm On Apr 29, 2020
the step you have taken is the best.
the truth is you don't really know what other lies she has told you in the past.

@OP, you shld know that marriage is not a joke. you should not listen alone but confirm all you are told. The pregnancy case in point. the HND too so when next you are taking a big step, be diligent.

all the best

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by benedima1990(m): 12:27pm On Apr 29, 2020
MedicH:
You both are immature and u Mr man u are very silly and a disgrace to manhood.

matured man , can we have your own advice as we are all here to learn one or two things from one another

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by OdefaGirl(f): 12:31pm On Apr 29, 2020
I'm coming...... please someone should like my comment......


Modified: thanks to all the sweethearts that kept me tuned in to this topic.....
My dear, building up a relationship with lies is cheating on it's own...... you cannot beat a child and ask him not to cry..... that would be sheer wickedness..... she lied her way into your heart and eventually into your life and she expected that you forgive and move on..... it's not possible.... it's a matter of the heart.
I have not seen myself advise someone for divorce because I always believe that there would still be an option somewhere..... although I am not giving up on your case but this is a lifetime journey and you can't go far being a sweet husband with pains of deceit dwelling in your heart....
If you can stay without her for a year or two..... and still take good care of your child, then tell her to give you a break to heal, she can't eat her cake and just have it back especially not that easy.......watch out if she will be truly remorseful and know your next action... don't take the divorce step that quick..... but you must try and work on yourself to see if there would be a second chance..... you know everyone still deserves that.
I wish she's on this forum to read all these, she still had the guts to call her brothers on you..... that is unacceptable, unless you are not telling us the whole truth....
She must adjust herself to go further with her studies.... it's not like you were expecting her to be a PhD holder, at least your expectation was HND.....let her try......as for the other discoveries, they are no problems.
If eventually it didn't work out, then you can do what you want....
Good luck!!!


This should serve as a lesson to our potential couples here.....if you start with the wrong foot, make sure you correct yourself quickly.

49 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Brunicekid(m): 12:31pm On Apr 29, 2020
Lordsonn:
Her family members are attacking me spiritually. They are trying to hurt me and even end my life. For two weeks now, any time i sleep, I always fight with some members of her family in the dream
Jesus! You need to fast and pray!!! Initially, you made the mistake of succumbing to her pressure of marrying here. That's PAST, anyways.

Please, fast and pray. God will definitely tell you what next to do.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by hgnbello(m): 12:40pm On Apr 29, 2020
Ok.
Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by DopeDrugDealer(m): 12:43pm On Apr 29, 2020
I really pity Simps, only them go through these mumu situations. Nothing beats being a sharp\jasi guy.

16 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by Tajbol4splend(m): 12:43pm On Apr 29, 2020
I can imagine how bad the experience will be to realize you are married to the wrong person, happy couples don't know what they have

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) by ichidodo: 12:43pm On Apr 29, 2020
CIA and FBI combined cannot match up to a woman when it comes to manipulation, espionage and subterfuge... especially when potency to lead to marriage is involved... That's why we must involve our mothers or elderly aunties to investigate our potential mates as it only takes a woman to catch a woman...Next time don't be a simp...

62 Likes 6 Shares

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