yinkson:


This guy don open ma yansh o

Haha I swear almost all game freaks would have had this experience except the 'get inside' ones sha

i go soon kon drop my own...
.
For primary 6 that year, me and one of my guy kon dey play robb (robb for cold and pain) play to know who get strong eye pass... He go put robb for my eye, i go put for e own--- na person wey first cry or run nai lose. We kon do each other so tay i kon notice say the thing no dey peper am too much (and other students dey put fire)... I plan another way to make sure he hear am--- i kon run go my grandma place (as e no far from the school)--- i reach there collect aboniki balm (for my guy mind say i don run) so e no expect am as everybody don lock up. As i reach there with the aboniki balm from back, i park am full he eye--- the kind shout wey i hear as if kill person (my eye oo! You don blind blind my eye!) with so many jumping and demonstration like person wey dey disco hall (i kon feel say my guy don turn babiyala) na so fear hold me. That moment i be like person wey dey answer alter call for crusade--- kon dey beg my guy... make e sorry, make e take am easy as i no know say e go be like that. To cut the long story short--- na four senior students suspend me for air for the flogging i receive that day--- i received at least 30 strokes for my back with no ability to run as i was hold to one place--- my principal kon be igbo smoker join. It is quite funny now but was never funny then. Na me warn my guy make e no follow me play again. But we later settle sha.

BISIXCLUSIVE:
That time we live with grandma, has tough as our childhood was, we never Huck, instead we follow our friends dat huck around,for instance if I follow my friend it will be tru out the day, we came back at night and part ways. At Grandma's house we have alot of corners, I will sneak in at nite and went to one corner pretending I've been sleeping there since morning, as if grandma is daft she will give u food that nite and later wake u up in the middle of the night to beat the hell out of u. The most amazing part is that we children Sleep together den... because we are very young,immediately grandma start beating me others will wake up and run for their dear life because they don't know who is next

Another one is.... Whenever you offended do not call neighbors to beg on your behalf, hmmmm na die ooo. If you do that, she will pardon u for that moment, sha follow the neighbor and don't sleep with her in that house, else, you will explain the reason why u offend and the reason why u think neighbor should come and beg her, as she is beating she will be asking you your offense and also asking if you will do that next time, hmmm who born u to say you will do that next time, we are talking about long òmórogun hr

Indomie children won't understand

[color=#] 1307145[/color]

Back then in secondary School, one day I saw N100 on the floor during break time, I called my guys and we used the money to buy ice cream.
On our way home I searched my pockets for my tfare and couldn't find it.
I didn't know that the N100 I saw on the floor then was my tfare that fell out of my pocket.
My guys shaa actually walked home with me.

We gather dey

mummyson26:
Hi

Mizwisdom:
As a teen? nothing funny, except the day I let out an embarrassing fart in front of some teen guys while waiting at the Bus stop. They were about to have my head but one understanding one calmed his crew

Are you sure small shiit did not come out with that fart?

Lol.

mine was a bad one i poopoo on my body during church service those watery poo
my elder brother took home to wash me up along the street full of shame
my siblings always use that to yab me shiti shiti for body,growing up with that was
painful.

Ijaycool:
So as a JSS student in a boarding school in Imo State, I sneaked out to look for somewhere to buy milk for soaking garri, as my provision was stolen.

That was my first time of leaving the school compound, though I knew of the small gate behind Rev Sister house. My dear, I didn't know the school was inside forest. [/b]I kept wandering inside bush until very late.

Na for Dining they discovered I was missing. Because Table prefect no see me for my assigned seat. After internal search, Village vigilant was alerted, everybody enter prayer for school. Tender me, with hungry eye, I no know north from South again, I thought I turned back, not knowing I was wandering even farther into the bush. Even though I ate something I thought was tomatoes somewhere inside the bush.

Na that kind 2:00 am of the next two days them see me. (they said they saw me around 11pm of same day shaa, but I don't believe, the waka wey I waka be like 2 days waka).

I cry sotay tears finish for my eyes.


[b]Moral of the Lesson: When Covid comes the hunger that is bringing you out will clear from your eyes

I had to stop and laugh. Now let me read the whole story.

...

[color=#] 552255[/color]

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11445765_552255_png964e3099e1438435dab93498a7c91453

rejoke:
when I was about five years old, my dad made a law that no body in the house should speak pigin English. either English or Urhobo.. that night was a solemn night for everybody. we were are so mute until he left for work the next day... on returning the next day from work, he enquired "where is makpo"...? no reply" he repeated it like three times, I got tired and decided to try my luck in answering as a waffi girl.. I replied "he is chopping for palor".. see laugh, everybody crawled out of their hiding place, the boisterous laughter that followed was something I could never forget.. and that was how the English matter ended.

The best so far. This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing!

yinkson:


Indomie children won't understand

I swear. No be small journey ooo.

I came 16th in primary 2 and changed it to 6th by cleaning the 1 in front of the 6. I was caught.

I still remember this one. I was in pry 6 by then, i and my frnd chigozie (RIP) were playing on a mango tree, jumping frm one branch to another like a monkey. I was claming super man doing my jumping in style, all of a sudden i slipped frm one of the branch and fell like a heavy coconut on the ground,., instead of my frnd to say sorry to me, he was busy laughing at me like a mad man. It is stil a memory in my mind, i stood up angrily and went home.

AmazingMOG:
I’m a MOG be very careful With your words next time when quoting me

Live it, don't say it

[color=#] 3115126[/color]

My funniest incident was the day I was to physically meet my girlfriend. I was fourteen then, attended a boys-only school, and had wooed her through a letter.

She came around to our school during inter-house competitions in which her school was invited.

At the very moment I ought to meet her, I developed cold feet and bolted off.

For my area you no try chop cook egg o as a small pikin o. Them go say you done go thief money o

Ijaycool:
So as a JSS student in a boarding school in Imo State, I sneaked out to look for somewhere to buy milk for soaking garri, as my provision was stolen.

That was my first time of leaving the school compound, though I knew of the small gate behind Rev Sister house. My dear, I didn't know the school was inside forest. I kept wandering inside bush until very late.

Na for Dining they discovered I was missing. Because Table prefect no see me for my assigned seat. After internal search, Village vigilant was alerted, everybody enter prayer for school. Tender me, with hungry eye, I no know north from South again, I thought I turned back, not knowing I was wandering even farther into the bush. Even though I ate something I thought was tomatoes somewhere inside the bush.

Na that kind 2:00 am of the next two days them see me. (they said they saw me around 11pm of same day shaa, but I don't believe, the waka wey I waka be like 2 days waka).

I cry sotay tears finish for my eyes.


Moral of the Lesson: When Covid comes the hunger that is bringing you out will clear from your eyes

You are sooooooo hilarious !!!!

When me and my bro and our friends after watching American spy movies, we would spy our Urhobo Neighbours who would not notice at all. We would even be watching TV with them secretly.We had this damaged Kodak whose focus lens served a good purpose as binoculars and rubber band guns as sniper guns. We shot paper filled with rocks into their house,and we were almost caught when we peed into a new looking Bigi apple bottle and tried to chill it,so Urhobo man had to pick up the disgusting bottle sniff it and throw it away .

2.i have a big head that i still have today. I hate it when someone insults my head, adult teen or child .i will curse them. One day, I was 16 then i went for evangelism(forced by pastor) and noticed a group of Bearded bros and scary looking boys making fun of me. (if I barb skin, it's worse but a shaved head to me is still making me look bald) so, i gave them the middle finger fvck you and increased My walking pace when one broda was advancing.
3.i asked a girl about the 'rope on her neck 'which was a bikini top (odd girls wearing bikinis as undies) and she got offended. Other girls swarmed round me to verbally attack but with my derogatory comments about girls then In Ss1 they cleared off.

The first day I wrapped papers and lite it up..bro I smoked till I coffd tire

The first day I wrapped papers and lite it up Bro I smoked till I coffd tire

Ginaz:
I applied aboniki into my aunt’s eyes cos she mistakenly applied to mine. I was seriously flogged by my uncle with a very robust cane.

After the beating , I went out to buy Fanta and drank while crying . I was a very stubborn child .

I’m now an adult and looking so calm like a dove . which was a far cry from what I was back then. My mom used to sew new uniform for me every new term cos Na so so fight I Dey fight . Both with girls and boys.

Drinking Fanta while crying. HAHAHAHAHA! This made me laugh.

Mine happened in SS3, me and my 2 friends left school to go to town to play PlayStation 1, we passed through some bushy part and to cut the long story short we missed our way and found ourselves right in front of a shrine, some masquerades artwork was around the shrine, as we were still trying to escape that shrine then we heard like 3 guys said you stop we looked back and saw one of them carrying a gun and 2 others cutlass, they took us to the shrine and said they were going to k*ll us and behe*d us for ritual, one of my friend was already crying and peeing in his pants, my other friend wasn’t crying but I saw the fear in his eyes, I was scared as fvck too but contemplating my escape plan and easiest route, we started begging with our lives and one of them said why didn’t we obey our parents and teachers so we are leaving the school premises and committing offense, we kept begging and we told them we lost our way, at the end they just freed us that they wanted to scare us and they even showed us the way, they were hunters. Till date I can’t forget that sh*t.

Well ..I just finished waec..got home and met some of these my old paddies that were attending day school..so due to youthful exuberance I join some bad boys and started smoking weed..na so one of my guy joined too and claimed he had been smoking way before me..the first day we entered jungle with this guy ..after we finish smoking pkoli..my guy that sat with his legs crossed started crying that he could not stand up cuz he was looking for his second leg

Mine was, I and my brothers were always monitoring my dad whenever he brings a new babe to the house to bang, we normally tiptoe to his window and begin to watch and laugh out loud

Jestin:
I remember as a kid, my mum scolded me for wrong doing and i went to the pot of ogbono soup she was cooking that evening, opened it and pee inside. The beating that day nor be small . Mum still told my gf the story recently and she promise to relate it to my kids in the future . I made a negative generational story for myself because of bad temper but i am cool like ice block now .

This one na ogbanje mata.

Mine is as follows

1. It was christmas eve and we the children were busy using fireworks(Knockout) We were so daring as we tend to hold the knockout while it sparks! so one man was passing by and i just lit the knockout, it was three sound sha and i didn't hold it well. So with pains i decided to throw the knockout away! Unknowingly, it landed on the bald head of the man as it detonated noisily! immediately the man turned to see who did that! Already i was signaled by one woman, so i took off with the speed of light.

2. When i was very small; about 5 years, there is this small calabar girl in my neighbour hood. i was playing with the cover of one bottle, the girl took the cover from me and bolted towards there room! I became so furious, i followed her quickly she stood beside their bed and nobody was around, i told her to return what she took she refused! i pushed her on the bed and had childish sex, she became weak as i collected my stuff and took off! Later she came to our house with her mother. Her mom accosted me and on why i had sex with daughter... I didn't know where the energy to replied her came from! i shouted underneath my breathe, that why won't i Fcuck your daughter when she took my stuff? My mom and the woman became shocked and practically speechless. she just took her daughter by the hand and walked away quietly!

3. I remembered how i foolishly burnt two phones when i tried charging them without the charger's head, i connected the wire live to the wall of socket...

How time flies! If i remember all these things i'll jusy thankGod for life!

4. While growing up with brother, we returned from school one hot afternoon, we heard the sound of radio coming out from the direction of a room my uncle always sleeps in, unknown to us it was our dad in the room, we stealthily moved towards the room, in what seemed to be the count of three, in loud voices as it blended in unison, we bellowed thunderously as we flung wide the curtain, Brothers and sisters as literally saw my father on air and his eyes protruding in fear, he threw the radio. on seeing this, we fled like never before, we returned later in the night, that night was the worst of all as hell was let loose!

Hanks0000:
Thank God... I made the first page for the first time... So effing happy... ✌� Maybe it's a good thing to book space after all...

Yep..
Funniest thing.. hmm... This is definitely gonna be wack... Lols

Ain't nothing fun...
My life is boring..... I sit down sometimes tryna reminisce about my past but I always ended up thinking about nothing cause there isn't really nothin' fun 'bout my past.. I haven't done much with my life...

I'm much of a loner, sociopath and introvert... So... Nothing fun...

Really?
I strongly believe you need people to survive.So how do you earn??