Jessie21:
Yh that's why I left never to return back.... I'm making amends now..

I'm the WIFE OP is referring too

Wait, OP is your husband?

Jessie21:
This link explains all I've gone through when I was still with him.

My heart has decided not to accept those things again that's why I quit...

Op posted the story with giving the full details... I'm the wife he's referring too

Like seriously?

Well, I know that OP is an irresponsible man but I underrated his level of irresponsibility.

If what you posted is the fact then you did what is right to leave but you erred by asking your Ex for money without first informing your boyfriend (as OP then was).

OP is not your husband but Baby daddy, neither are you his wife but Baby mama.

Meanwhile, it's good that you have begun retracing your step

TonyeBarcanista:


Like seriously?

Well, I know that OP is an irresponsible man but I underrated his level of irresponsibility.

If what you posted is the fact then you did what is right to leave but you erred by asking your Ex for money without first informing your boyfriend (as OP then was).

OP is not your husband but Baby daddy, neither are you his wife but Baby mama.

Meanwhile, it's good that you have begun retracing your step

I didn't tell him because I was scared of how he was going to react but I admitted that I was wrong and apologized too
.. we're only engaged,we did our introduction last year October

.

Jessie21:
I didn't tell him because I was scared of how he was going to react but I admitted that I was wrong and apologized too
.. we're only engaged,we did our introduction last year October

Would you mind if I talk to you two?

TonyeBarcanista:

Would you mind if I talk to you two?

there wouldn't be any need for that, I'm done. I'm moving on.

Hmmmm. This is why its very important to know both sides of the story before concluding.

Na wa oh, different people with different problems.

I never wanted to talk about this issue again, but the lies is really on the high side This guy the op is talking about is me from delta state and she is from aqua ibom state. From the beginning of our relationship this lady has been the one who lure me into action to her through her attitudes. Come to think of it if I'm a womanizer like she said. Will I even care now that she decides to leave a life without thinking? She now chew gum everywhere she goes,- now as a choir is she suppose do this ungodly things that she never did in my house?, she now do abnormal things like spending much time on social medias, getting wrong advises from friends,. Now she's fast at trowing her ring away. And this is the truth of the fighting side while we were still single at the earlier time we had a little agreement on the process of arguing this lady in question gave me tow hot slaps in the present of my friends then I was asked to quit but I never did because of the undying love I have for her even till now.
In the area she talked about cheating I was very sorry to her and still sorry now. But she caused it all I never knew how to control it at home wit a woman whenever I call her to bed she had no option that period than to reject me for good two weeks today she's weak, the next she's feeling sleepy pls naira landers I don't want to have this ugly record of quilting from marriage to marriage pls advise I still love her and the baby. Now the even when I ask her to think about the boy. There's this ugly reply I hate hearing from her. When advise we trade carefully and think about our boy the next thing I hear is and so? What about him? Pls she's getting out of hands. I have never suffered her I showed her real love she can testify.

The link I posted was last year not this year so guys think about it...

The slaps he talked about happened 2017 that was the period I took in but I didn't know then... I was only vomiting then, It didn't occur to me that I was pregnant because I didn't have the experience of it.

The slaps was as a result of him accusing me and fighting me that I'm having an affair..... He embarrassed me even in the presence of his friends so I didn't resist the urge to slap him twice for disrespecting me.

NOTE: Pregnancy hormones were already doing their job in my body.

Remember I said we started dating early 2016, December that same year,I traveled with him to his village few days before we return back to Lagos,he made me swear an oath never to have any thing to do with someone else if not I will die... He took sand from the ground and dropped it into the cup of water he wanted me to drink to seal the oath... I drankk the water willingly because I am sure of my self, because I know I will never cheat..... After doing this for him to trust me he still had the guts to accuse and hit me for something I'm not guilty of...The slaps are justified.
.
Even before the slaps, hitting me and embarrassing me in public was his profession.

Last year December again when I went to his village another oath was done,this time with him mom and dad present...his blood, bitter kola and native gin...I drank the whole content..he didn't taste it...I did this willingly because I wanted a peaceful home, I wanted him to have rest of mind knowing I can never cheat on him....At the end everything because worse.. that was when he decided to kill me early this year January

I taught the oath would make him trust me, I also taught it would make him stop hitting me but I was so WRONG.

NOW my heart has decided, I've tried my best to make things work but it didn't.

Jessie21:
The link I posted was last year not this year so guys think about it...

The slaps he talked about happened 2017 that was the period I took in but I didn't know then... I was only vomiting then, It didn't occur to me that I was pregnant because I didn't have the experience of it.

The slaps was as a result of him accusing me and fighting me that I'm having an affair..... He embarrassed me even in the presence of his friends so I didn't resist the urge to slap him twice for disrespecting me.

NOTE: Pregnancy hormones were already doing their job in my body.

Remember I said we started dating early 2016, December that same year,I traveled with him to his village few days before we return back to Lagos,he made me swear an oath never to have any thing to do with someone else if not I will die... He took sand from the ground and dropped it into the cup of water he wanted me to drink to seal the oath... I drankk the water willingly because I am sure of my self, because I know I will never cheat..... After doing this for him to trust me he still had the guts to accuse and hit me for something I'm not guilty of...The slaps are justified.
.
Even before the slaps, hitting me and embarrassing me in public was his profession.

babe, MOVE ON from this guy. Cut OFF EVERY contact with him. OBEY and LISTEN to your PARENTS. This boychild has NO respect or regards for you
he cheats on you yet accused you of having an affair
he doesnt provide for you
he is physically abusive to you
he doesnt respect your family

HE IS A NARCISSIST - never taking ownership of his actions rather looks for whom to blame for his bad behavior - what he feels for you isnt love but CONTROL......girl, go and do something meaningful with your life than waste it with someone who would rather you are UNHAPPY with him than HAPPY elsewhere.

You wont be the first or last single mother. Focus on your growing yourself either through trade/education. You have no business returning to this guy's house either to (discuss child's welfare, pick up clothes , he is sick, collect money etc) - I REPEAT, NEVER be in the same roof with this monster.
and stop doing things on social media or in the public to get his attention, he isnt worth it. GOD BLESS YOU

keepingmum:


babe, MOVE ON from this guy. Cut OFF EVERY contact with him. OBEY and LISTEN to your PARENTS. This boychild has NO respect or regards for you
he cheats on you yet accused you of having an affair
he doesnt provide for you
he is physically abusive to you
he doesnt respect your family

HE IS A NARCISSIST - never taking ownership of his actions rather looks for whom to blame for his bad behavior - what he feels for you isnt love but CONTROL......girl, go and do something meaningful with your life than waste it with someone who would rather you are UNHAPPY with him than HAPPY elsewhere.

You wont be the first or last single mother. Focus on your growing yourself either through trade/education. You have no business returning to this guy's house either to (discuss child's welfare, pick up clothes , he is sick, collect money etc) - I REPEAT, NEVER be in the same roof with this monster.
and stop doing things on social media or in the public to get his attention, he isnt worth it. GOD BLESS YOU

Thank you so much.... you've summarize everything.... God bless you for your wisdom ma

keepingmum:


babe, MOVE ON from this guy. Cut OFF EVERY contact with him. OBEY and LISTEN to your PARENTS. This boychild has NO respect or regards for you
he cheats on you yet accused you of having an affair
he doesnt provide for you
he is physically abusive to you
he doesnt respect your family

HE IS A NARCISSIST - never taking ownership of his actions rather looks for whom to blame for his bad behavior - what he feels for you isnt love but CONTROL......girl, go and do something meaningful with your life than waste it with someone who would rather you are UNHAPPY with him than HAPPY elsewhere.

You wont be the first or last single mother. Focus on your growing yourself either through trade/education. You have no business returning to this guy's house either to (discuss child's welfare, pick up clothes , he is sick, collect money etc) - I REPEAT, NEVER be in the same roof with this monster.
and stop doing things on social media or in the public to get his attention, he isnt worth it. GOD BLESS YOU

you're RIGHT, he always blames me for his own actions even till date, when he is apologizing he always makes sure I get it that I cause whatever he did... He's never truly sorry.

Jessie21:
Early 2016 February 15,
I started dating a guy that wanted us to be a thing.
At that time I just finished secondary school and I was supposed to sit for SSCE but I couldn't because my family was down financially.

When my parent noticed I was going out with the guy,they were seriously against it but I was so adamant at that time.

Months passed by and I was still with the guy.late 2016 September 19, the guy moved to a new apartment and that was how I started going there too till I ended up living with him.

During this period of being with him,I saw many red flag that should have made me quit from the relationship but I ignored them.
The red flags were
1. Cheating
2.Hitting and embarrassing me publicly (even tearing my clothes)
3.Intentional accusing me of things he knows I'm not guilty of.

A late 2017 when I got pregnant,we kept the pregnancy but it didn't put an end to red flag.... whenever we had little misunderstanding that can be resolved easily,he would act so angry and hit me wherever he likes with the pregnancy.

When I run to my parent,he will follow me there, embarrass me and parent too all this happened many many time.


Story cut short

I reminded him of my studies after I delivered our baby and all he said was I should wait till the baby is 2yrs old,I agreed without argument.

Forward to late 2019..... The time I was really determined to sit for my SSCE so I met my pastor in church and told him about it,my pastor encouraged me and promised to help me with 20k after I get the rest of the 20k because SSCE registration is 40k.

Note we got officially engaged late 2019 around October.


Getting home that Sunday,I told my fiance about how I met with my pastor and his assistance towards be registering for SSCE...
Afte

Note: whenever I bring up the topic,all he say is he has other expenses lemme just calm down.

The main point is he never really showed interest or gave any hope that we were going to raise the remaining 20k
All he kept saying was he has to many things to do.

After seeing that there was no hope for me with his statement,I decided to contact relatives and friends to assist me.. The day he caught me texting my ex asking for assistance to get money to register for exam I hid the phone and I know I was wrong.He reported me to my parent and his family members.... Every blame and rebuke me for that...I on the other hand admitted that i was wrong and apologized.


Note: he caught me typing the message but the message was never sent.

After my several apologies and family members intervention,the issue died down...So I kept reaching out to my relatives to assist me and luckily for me,one of them replied and sent the 20k to....I was so happy to know that problem has been settled.
So I called my pastor to let him know that I had gotten the 20k then he asked me to send my account details which I sent and received alert of 20k making 40k

SSCE Payment has been completed.

You know you are your own problem abi?

TonyeBarcanista:

I still don't understand the need for your story as regards that of OP.

You were warned about having a BF but you refused to heed warnings of your parents.

You knew he was into fraud, cheat, violent etc but stayed put.

You are the architect of your own problem. Like OP, you threw yourself at an ungodly man and expected godliness from him. Kolewerk! .. You also disregarded wise counsel without knowing that you are doing yourself.

Jessie21:
Last year December again when I went to his village another oath was done,this time with him mom and dad present...his blood, bitter kola and native gin...I drank the whole content..he didn't taste it...I did this willingly because I wanted a peaceful home, I wanted him to have rest of mind knowing I can never cheat on him....At the end everything because worse.. that was when he decided to kill me early this year January

I don't get.

You took an oath with his blood?

Madam, you better go to the nearest Bible believing church for serious deliverance.

Forget about the OP and your situationship and get your spirit and soul sorted out.

Why do youths always think they know better than their parents?

You just finished SSCE so what in God's name was the rush to stick to an irresponsible somebody?

Next time, have your father/mother choose a husband for you. You tried yourself, it did not work out.

AutoB24:
I never wanted to talk about this issue again, but the lies is really on the high side This guy the op is talking about is me from delta state and she is from aqua ibom state. From the beginning of our relationship this lady has been the one who lure me into action to her through her attitudes. Come to think of it if I'm a womanizer like she said. Will I even care now that she decides to leave a life without thinking? She now chew gum everywhere she goes,- now as a choir is she suppose do this ungodly things that she never did in my house?, she now do abnormal things like spending much time on social medias, getting wrong advises from friends,. Now she's fast at trowing her ring away. And this is the truth of the fighting side while we were still single at the earlier time we had a little agreement on the process of arguing this lady in question gave me tow hot slaps in the present of my friends then I was asked to quit but I never did because of the undying love I have for her even till now.
In the area she talked about cheating I was very sorry to her and still sorry now. But she caused it all I never knew how to control it at home wit a woman whenever I call her to bed she had no option that period than to reject me for good two weeks today she's weak, the next she's feeling sleepy pls naira landers I don't want to have this ugly record of quilting from marriage to marriage pls advise I still love her and the baby. Now the even when I ask her to think about the boy. There's this ugly reply I hate hearing from her. When advise we trade carefully and think about our boy the next thing I hear is and so? What about him? Pls she's getting out of hands. I have never suffered her I showed her real love she can testify.

The fact you think chewing gum 'about' is a godless attitude gives me an inkling to the kind of man you are.

You both have made mistakes and I think it is best you go your separate ways (luckily, no marriage yet).

You can use the learning points from this failed relationship to build a new one.

If you both want to continue this, you have got to start by renewing your mind from ground zero and start afresh as two strangers with a kid.

Cc: Jessie21

Chaiiiii

An adult male blaming a woman for his own shortcomings? Very typical!


You cheated on her because she didn't have sex with you for 2 weeks and you blame her? So you couldn't pay her waec fee as promised,you beat her, make her take blood oaths and you expect her to open her legs for you whenever you want?

I don't blame you sha, it because of this stupid Nigeria that gives men like you guts if not you should be wasting away behind bars.

You're an irresponsible woman beater and you've the right to judge her. GTF!



Madam fiancee, you better pick up your self and never go back to this man if not you will leave in a body bag, he's not remorseful and the reason he wants you back is for is own ego sake.

Write your WAEC, go to school and build your future.

AutoB24:
I never wanted to talk about this issue again, but the lies is really on the high side This guy the op is talking about is me from delta state and she is from aqua ibom state. From the beginning of our relationship this lady has been the one who lure me into action to her through her attitudes. Come to think of it if I'm a womanizer like she said. Will I even care now that she decides to leave a life without thinking? She now chew gum everywhere she goes,- now as a choir is she suppose do this ungodly things that she never did in my house?, she now do abnormal things like spending much time on social medias, getting wrong advises from friends,. Now she's fast at trowing her ring away. And this is the truth of the fighting side while we were still single at the earlier time we had a little agreement on the process of arguing this lady in question gave me tow hot slaps in the present of my friends then I was asked to quit but I never did because of the undying love I have for her even till now.
In the area she talked about cheating I was very sorry to her and still sorry now. But she caused it all I never knew how to control it at home wit a woman whenever I call her to bed she had no option that period than to reject me for good two weeks today she's weak, the next she's feeling sleepy pls naira landers I don't want to have this ugly record of quilting from marriage to marriage pls advise I still love her and the baby. Now the even when I ask her to think about the boy. There's this ugly reply I hate hearing from her. When advise we trade carefully and think about our boy the next thing I hear is and so? What about him? Pls she's getting out of hands. I have never suffered her I showed her real love she can testify.

I love when we can hear both sides to a story.

Jessie21, you have self-esteem issues, and your parents have not done enough to prevent you from falling into the hands of an ignorant man. Your parents helped in making you vulnerable to him. This conclusion was borne out of the fact that they couldn't see you through school. That is, 40k WAEC fees.

I notice you write very well compared to him. His actions, perspectives and decisions, reeks of illiteracy and ignorance, which shows you can do better.

Mr Uwamari (AutoB24), man to man, please let her be. Allow her grow into a woman that can make better decisions. I think you took advantage of her vulnerable self, and equally ignorant parents.

If after becoming the woman of her dreams, in few years, and she decides to come back to you. All good. Atleast, she will be making the decision with her eyes open and on her own terms!

One question, if you don't mind... How old are you both?

bukatyne:


The fact you think chewing gum 'about' is a godless attitude gives me an inkling to the kind of man you are.

You both have made mistakes and I think it is best you go your separate ways (luckily, no marriage yet).

You can use the learning points from this failed relationship to build a new one.

If you both want to continue this, you have got to start by renewing your mind from ground zero and start afresh as two strangers with a kid.

Cc: Jessie21

EXACTLY....... THANKS A MILLION TIMES... GOD BLESS YOU

AutoB24:
we were living fine until I caught her one day sending her (S) to send her 20k without informing me. this is where I got angry and she refuse to admit her mistakes instead she worsen the whole thing by telling me besides she has known the guy before me. So I couldn't take it so I slapt her she retaliate from there we fought. Then I was arrested by her dad ever since then she has been keeping away but I didn't mind I still went back with some of my family members to apologize her and the family but still she was never satisfy until she open her mouth and told me she was passing time with me that I have left her mind for long. But I still love her. But as a man am I suppose to smile over all that advice pls....or am I to give up?

You are loving someone that doesn't love you back. Read the boldfaced words and ask yourself if you really have sense. Weak men everywhere

bukatyne:


You know you are your own problem abi?

yh I was... I'm making amends now

Thank you

Mstick:
An adult male blaming a woman for his own shortcomings? Very typical!


You cheated on her because she didn't have sex with you for 2 weeks and you blame her? So you couldn't pay her waec fee as promised,you beat her, make her take blood oaths and you expect her to open her legs for you whenever you want?

I don't blame you sha, it because of this stupid Nigeria that gives men like you guts if not you should be wasting away behind bars.

You're an irresponsible woman beater and you've the right to judge her. GTF!



Madam fiancee, you better pick up your self and never go back to this man if not you will leave in a body bag, he's not remorseful and the reason he wants you back is for is own ego sake.

Write your WAEC, go to school and build your future.

akinjojo1234:


You are loving someone that doesn't love you back. Read the boldfaced words and ask yourself if you really have sense. Weak men everywhere

1. Boldfaced....that was when I needed assistance to meet up with the payment of my SSCE exam.
The issue was already settled and buried because Family members intervened and I apologized... The message wasn't even sent...

2. Boldfaced.... that was few months later after he had me beating seriously to the point of death....I tried to see it he has changed like he claimed,it all turned out to be false when he still had to mind to embarrass and slap me again in public...
When I made the statement I was actually passing time to see if he had truly changed..My heart has been made up to quit when I made the statement....I didn't say that when everything was still good.

TonyeBarcanista:

I still don't understand the need for your story as regards that of OP.

You were warned about having a BF but you refused to heed warnings of your parents.

You knew he was into fraud, cheat, violent etc but stayed put.

You are the architect of your own problem. Like OP, you threw yourself at an ungodly man and expected godliness from him. Kolewerk! .. You also disregarded wise counsel without knowing that you are doing yourself.

You're a wicked person. Seems you hate females, how can someone hate females but still claim to love your mother? you're deceiving yourself.

.

Jessie21:

1. Boldfaced....that was when I needed assistance to meet up with the payment of my SSCE exam.
The issue was already settled and buried because Family members intervened and I apologized... The message wasn't even sent...

2. Boldfaced.... that was few months later after he had me beating seriously to the point of death....I tried to see it he has changed like he claimed,it all turned out to be false when he still had to mind to embarrass and slap me again in public...
When I made the statement I was actually passing time to see if he had truly changed..My heart has been made up to quit when I made the statement....I didn't say that when everything was still good.

Okay I understand better now. Sorry for the emotional turmoil you must have passed through. Thanks for explaining. Remain strong

akinjojo1234:


Okay I understand better now. Sorry for the emotional turmoil you must have passed through. Thanks for explaining. Remain strong

thanks

[s]

Mizwisdom:




You're a wicked person. Seems you hate females, how can someone hate females but still claim to love your mother? you're deceiving yourself.

[/s]
What is the hatred in that comment? How does that comment relate with hatred for females? Perhaps you are just another roaming ignoramus on social media.