gf

if having a baby is that important to you then make sure she gives birth before marrying her.

MrBrownJay1:
if having a baby is that important to you then make sure she gives birth before marrying her.

is very important to me sir...na only three my mama born and am the first child.

A fiancé who is pregnant now can lose the pregnancy and a wife who gives birth can lose the child a few years later.

The first reason for marriage is companionship. If you can't stay faithful and loyal to that person with or without a child, please, don't marry the person.

If all you need is a child, go to fertility clinics, they can give you egg so your sperm can fertilize and you can pay a surrogate to carry the child to term.

Romanoff:
A fiancé who is pregnant now can lose the pregnancy and a wife who gives birth can lose the child a few years later.

The first reason for marriage is companionship. If you can't stay faithful and loyal to that person with or without a child, please, don't marry the person.

If all you need is a child, go to fertility clinics, they can give you egg so your sperm can fertilize and you can pay a surrogate to carry the child to term.

hmmm...and what is the fruit of every marriage ma
this isn't a matter of faithfulness ....is just a matter of not falling victim of someone whom due to her mistake can't give birth please.

Godoverevery:

hmmm...and what is the fruit of every marriage ma

There are couples in this world who are happy without children, there are also some who adopted kids when they found out they couldn't have kids.

I've seen couples whom the wife married as a virgin and for 13years now, they don't have children. Guess what? Their marriage is the best marriage I've seen, so much that they've mentored a lot of younger couples.

Guess what?

They are also marriage counsellors. I pray that God will answer them.

If you marry your best friend, you both can weather any storm.

Romanoff:
A fiancé who is pregnant now can lose the pregnancy and a wife who gives birth can lose the child a few years later.

The first reason for marriage is companionship. If you can't stay faithful and loyal to that person with or without a child, please, don't marry the person.

If all you need is a child, go to fertility clinics, they can give you egg so your sperm can fertilize and you can pay a surrogate to carry the child to term.

That’s Nigerian culture for you. We’re obsessed with having kids, we’re not the most populous Black Country by magic. Marriage is not for love or companionship is mainly for reproduction. Saw news recently that a 68y/old woman gave birth. Even a 68 y/old woman that will not be around to see the child grow up still did not give up having her own child.

Godoverevery:
Good evening guys.
Am typing D's with a heavy heart.....is about my uncle marital life and am thinking of doing what my mum other siblings suggested
My uncle got married in 2013....he is my mum brother (last child) my mum is the first child...he was brought to my mum in lagos at age 9 and infact most people think he is my mum first child....he lived all is life with us... primary, secondary,uni my parent were responsible for that.
when he wanted to get marry in 2013 my mum actually suggested a low key wedding while they give the rest of the fund to him to boost is ACC.....my mum sis said were she went to pray they told her they mustn't do an elaborate wedding but he insisted is wife to be parent said since she is the only girl so it must be a big wedding.... my grandparents beg my mum to just do it for there sake to celebrate them(my parents actually paid 70% of the wedding expenses) the to bride to be just started working so he didn't have much yet...he was 33yrs.
my mum siblings (they are five) insisted the lady must be pregnant before the wedding takes place but mum due to D's sprikoko things (mfm member) picked against it....u no this believe of baby born out of wedlock is not good spiritually.
Now since February 2013 till now no child...she had two miscarriage in between....they have done several test in the past which says both are ok....but they did one just recently and they were told in lay man language the wife has a weak womb (that she might have done abortion before) she denied ever doing such.
Now my mum siblings are using style to blame her and are threaten to kick the lady out.....my mum is the only one fighting for her even my grandma is supporting the move.

Right now in my head am thinking of going this route of my fiancee getting pregnant before our wedding takes place (I no my parent will kick against it but I don't care).... but my fiancee actually confessed before we started dating dat she once did an abortion in her 200lv and it was pills she used....Nobody is holy so I don't have any issh with that but with my uncle marriage issh am worried.

So guys am asking please is this a YES/NO route to move?

I just want to implore you to do the right thing, don't impregnate her before the wedding. whether you impregnate her before the wedding challenge can still come in any form. I have heard case of couple which the lady got pregnant before marriage and the baby later died it took them several years before they gave birth to another baby. I can only advise you to be prayerful and do proper investigation on your fiancee before you tie the knot. Happy marriage life in advance.

So you're extremely sure the problem is gonna come from the lady

What if you're sterile What happens then

Jullima:

That’s Nigerian culture for you. We’re obsessed with having kids, we’re not the most populous Black Country by magic. Marriage is not for love or companionship is mainly for reproduction. Saw news recently that a 68y/old woman gave birth. Even a 68 y/old woman that will not be around to see the child grow up still did not give up having her own child.

Why didn't the man leave her earlier? It could be because he married her first for companionship. They stayed together till they could have their own. That is not looking like the case of @Op.

Godoverevery:
Good evening guys.
Am typing D's with a heavy heart.....is about my uncle marital life and am thinking of doing what my mum other siblings suggested
My uncle got married in 2013....he is my mum brother (last child) my mum is the first child...he was brought to my mum in lagos at age 9 and infact most people think he is my mum first child....he lived all is life with us... primary, secondary,uni my parent were responsible for that.
when he wanted to get marry in 2013 my mum actually suggested a low key wedding while they give the rest of the fund to him to boost is ACC.....my mum sis said were she went to pray they told her they mustn't do an elaborate wedding but he insisted is wife to be parent said since she is the only girl so it must be a big wedding.... my grandparents beg my mum to just do it for there sake to celebrate them(my parents actually paid 70% of the wedding expenses) the to bride to be just started working so he didn't have much yet...he was 33yrs.
my mum siblings (they are five) insisted the lady must be pregnant before the wedding takes place but mum due to D's sprikoko things (mfm member) picked against it....u no this believe of baby born out of wedlock is not good spiritually.
Now since February 2013 till now no child...she had two miscarriage in between....they have done several test in the past which says both are ok....but they did one just recently and they were told in lay man language the wife has a weak womb (that she might have done abortion before) she denied ever doing such.
Now my mum siblings are using style to blame her and are threaten to kick the lady out.....my mum is the only one fighting for her even my grandma is supporting the move.

Right now in my head am thinking of going this route of my fiancee getting pregnant before our wedding takes place (I no my parent will kick against it but I don't care).... but my fiancee actually confessed before we started dating dat she once did an abortion in her 200lv and it was pills she used....Nobody is holy so I don't have any issh with that but with my uncle marriage issh am worried.

So guys am asking please is this a YES/NO route to move?

Guyman, just know that no lady here on Nairaland will support you. They know why.

To the point, guyman, shoot in and get her pregnant. Especially if she's over 27. E get why!

I for one, will marry to 1. Have children, 2. Have company, 3. Have societal relevance. Every other opinion is inconsequential to me.

Na my opinion be this.

Laslas, na you know wetin you want!!!

DanseMacabre:
So you're extremely sure the problem is gonna come from the lady

What if you're sterile What happens then

that why I want to try it out.....if am the one she will know what she is up against... infact I want to know if am totally ok myself bro...

YES.... Impregnate her, before you put your fellow MAN for house.

Thank you

Romanoff:


Why didn't the man leave her earlier? It could be because he married her first for companionship. They stayed together till they could have their own. That is not looking like the case of @Op.

True.

Romanoff:


There are couples in this world who are happy without children, there are also some who adopted kids when they found out they couldn't have kids.

I've seen couples whom the wife married as a virgin and for 13years now, they don't have children. Guess what? Their marriage is the best marriage I've seen, so much that they've mentored a lot of younger couples.

Guess what?

They are also marriage counsellors. I pray that God will answer them.

If you marry your best friend, you both can weather any storm.

I know many aswell that jump from one prayer mountain, church, mosque, herbalist to another just to have a child.
have anyone be mocked in presence for not having a child so u can understand.
my uncle wife married her best friend but my sista she is facing alot of heat from her in-law that even the husband is totally powerless.

We are in Africa forget that marriage counselor BS and do u think my grandma will smile over adopting a child...no woman in Africa can ever be happy been barren .A fact u can never dispute

Godoverevery:
Good evening guys.
Am typing D's with a heavy heart.....is about my uncle marital life and am thinking of doing what my mum other siblings...

So guys am asking please is this a YES/NO route to move?

Yes!

Godoverevery:

I know many aswell that jump from one prayer mountain, church, mosque, herbalist to another just to have a child.
have anyone be mocked in presence for not having a child so u can understand.
my uncle wife married her best friend but my sista she is facing alot of heat from her in-law that even the husband is totally powerless.

We are in Africa forget that marriage counselor BS and do u think my grandma will smile over adopting a child...no woman in Africa can ever be happy been a barren .A fact u can never dispute

You think marriage is a bed of roses?

Or you haven't seen couples who lost all children in one day?

If kids are all it takes for a marriage to be happy, that marriage will end the day the kids are lost.

If you proceed that woman, be ready to stick with your decision with or without a child. Be ready to defend and stand up to anyone who will treat her badly, with or without a child.

See that person as your sister.

The most I'll suggest you should do is tell her you'd like her to go for fertility check up due to her abortion history.

If you claim to be a Christian, it is only death that can end your marriage, not childlessness.

Romanoff:


You think marriage is a bed of roses?

Or you haven't seen couples who lost all children in one day?

If kids are all it takes for a marriage to be happy, that marriage will end the day the kids are lost.

If you proceed that woman, be ready to stick with your decision with or without a child. Be ready to defend and stand up to anyone who will treat her badly, with or without a child.

See that person as your sister.

The most I'll suggest you should do is tell her you'd like her to go for fertility check up due to her abortion history.

If you claim to be a Christian, it is only death that can end your marriage, not childlessness.

i hear you

If your sole reason for getting married is having children, why not opt for a baby mama(AKA baby factory)?
When you finally understand the reason why the institution 'MARRIAGE' was created, you'd be able to answer your own question.

Away from spirituality, I'd rather I give birth to all my children(just 3) and then do my wedding afterwards... Just do what you think is right OP...

@ Op, please do as it pleases you, sincerely that's what is trending in our present generation.Just as they say "don't marry because of pity".There's will always be a result to every action, I pray that things turns out good for you.