Your mum is being kept down by culture beliefs, I hope she doesn't end up in grave before realizing she has to leave the relationship.

Lekan239:
I already have my OND in mechanical engineering, and I'm currently in HND1 but there's no clue on how I could get enough money to pay the remaining bills before exam. Sometimes I still thank God for bringing this corona virus at the right time, if not for the virus exam would have began and I would officially have been a dropout again. Either way I'm always looking forward to what life throws at me. And I'm already planning of the way forward if I eventually dropout. But all I know is that either now or later I will surely complete my education

On your mom's present situation, a couple of people have already shared similar advice to what I would have told you. Bottom line is she has to leave that environment.

For your education, if you presently cannot foot the Bill's for your HND, I would advise you to get into ICT, skills like computer programming, Linux Engineer or Administrator, AWS etc are "hot cakes". You can learn these on DIY basis by taking advantage of a site like Udemy and watching YouTube videos. When you have garnered enough skills and saved up some money, you can take relevant certifications and set a path for yourself towards a magnificent future. All the best to you, your mom and siblings. Cheers!

Welcomme:
Take your mum back to the village. You guys should gather money for her let her start a petty trade. Don't allow the irresponsible father of yours to know all the moves you are taking.

The village is not a good ideal, you guys shld look for her own place for her and probably help her with what she could be doing, no need confronting ur Dad let him be, also keep praying for them.

Nekky5:
That kind of man would still pack down to the village if he hears they are there. It's such an unfortunate situation.

exactly, these type of men are like parasites they never leave till their hosts are completely dead.

It will be difficult for your mum to leave your dad because she loves him so much against all odds. What I will advice is for you guys to continue praying for ur dad to change, I believe he will someday. Have gone thru that lane b4

Ok

He impregnated her 4 times and yet you say he doesn't love Her? You dad is just frustrated failed man

bukatyne:


What of your mother's siblings?

And have you engaged her why she keeps putting up with your dad? I think you need that answer to intelligently take a step.

Stop quoting all the topic as if you are inconsiderate

guy never in your life insurt your father as a lazy man, even thou he does not take care of you. as your mother case, your mother is a good woman who remembering the past how she and her husband first started before he change. you children need to submitted to your father and advice your dad with good hope. i am sure your dad will change all is negative thought.

Something went wrong or is happening that we have no idea about.

This one is heavy.

Ill advise you let your mum follow her heart if she still wants to be with him. Since she has been able to cope and come this far without complaining or should I say not talked of leaving him. He's still her husband and your father too. Just let him be and be praying for him.

Your duty now will be to make sure you finish with good grades and get a good job so you can be assisting your mum in any way you can. Making sure she doesn't feel the pressure so much.

Finally, turn to God in prayers and commit your family into His hands. If you have to fast, fast.

Shalom.

OP your story dey learn work for where my own dey. My siblings and I didn't enjoy fatherly love when we were kids even though our dad was rich but today levels don change. We left him and his money to find peace though it wasn't easy but no regrets. If I start typing to narrate what happened Oga Seun fit vex pursue me from Nairaland because the story long pass 4 Indian movies.




Just move on with your life and God will help you guys.

Firstly, I would blame your mum, Yes. As soon as she tried to keep the home together and your dad showed he wasnt interested since he had money, she should have moved on, focused the little resources she has on her future which is you and your siblings. Such men never change and rather than show appreciation would only be an ingrate for the rest of his life, and in so doing can lead you to misbehave towards him. Now strive to keep your mum alive, contact her relatives if you have too, she is their blood, your father is not. Then you now need to seriously work hard, with serious prayers to break the chain of poverty as the first. work is before you.

Lekan239:
uncles from my dad's don't Care I.e even if they are okay themselves. Father's mother is in the village sufferin. The only family who is a little bit okay, promise me and abandoned. My mom's family are always ready to help her out, but she won't ask for help, in fact they don't even know what she passing through

Bro, Lekan239, I've all read your replies and tbh here, I'm having the same ish. Pple might quote me wrong or say trash any religion and God not existing. But with my careful observance abt what happened to me. It's like we have the same problem and we're in d same situation. I don't know if you're a Christian, but I'll advise that you watch your family background very well and know if it occurs in each lineage cos if you look closely, your father might be someone great and he's not acting due to he desires to do that. If you leave it like that, one of your brother will do the same and likely worst than what your dad is doing. He's battling forces from his family. I'll advise u to take care of your mom closely but don't abandon your father. Take up your time, hustle tight and enough to foot yourself for a period of 6monyhs without working and don't be pessimistic abt things and don't discriminate any church. Kindly go for a thorough deliverance so that you'll be free from those shackles and if possible pray very hard. In as much as I'm a Catholic, I'll advise you to go to mfm HQ at iwaya cos I stay close to the place or at prayer city and watch closely what the Lord will do in your household. It might not come easy, but at the long run, with your strict adherence and hope and faith, things will fall back in place in your household. It'll be a history to behold and your father will come begging in advanced tears. Good luck bruh.

This is not ordinary at all. He is has been under serious demonic attack because of his glorious Destiny. Blood is very very powerful, you his children can help deliver him by going to do MFM 3days dry fasting on his behalf. Thoughout the 3 days, those of you that go should be shouting to Heaven, that demonic authority that put your father in this bondage if being useless should be roasted to ashes by Fire of YAHWEH in Jesus' Name. All of you shall be shocked when you see the permanent Joyful transformation that shall happen in your family immediately after the Prayer Program. You people should arise and fight with this infallible Weapon of Prayer before it becomes too late for your family. Shalom.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

The annoying part is that he will later come and reap where he did not sow and family and friends will beg on his behalf saying afterall he's still your father.

inside life

This brought back some unwanted memories of my own useless father.
Truly we must be become better fathers to our own children.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Sad Story.. But here is the truth, 27 years no be 27 days.. It will take more than all of her kids put together to pull her out of that marriage. She is stuck. It's not physical but mental.

I will advice you find a way to start recording these acts of his just for posterity.

Try to restrain yourself from confronting him.

Your mother is a broken woman and is just one amongst millions of married women like her.

If you are a praying Man, pray.

But above and beyond, until you are sure of her welfare, don't do anything that will make your mothers life anymore difficult than it already is today.

All you can do now is hustle triple hard to find your come up.. When everything is soft, take your mother out of that toxic environment for like 6 months and watch the life in her return.

Ladycewhy:
exactly, these type of men are like parasites they never leave till their hosts are completely dead.

...Funny but true.

It's as if some people have made a covenant with suffering.

Whoa! You are really courageous to bring this here, I don't got the balls to do it

Welcomme:
Take your mum back to the village. You guys should gather money for her let her start a petty trade. Don't allow the irresponsible father of yours to know all the moves you are taking.

so because he told you happenings in his family & wants advise has warranted you to call his father irresponsible Yeye

bros i have seen this case before....women most times dont know what they want, they are afraid of change especially without their husband.
what you dont know is that she is looking up to you to make decision for her. the day you know you are her husband now, that is the day you will know how much she respect u.
is simple, arrange with her people or (if u have money) a nice place for her,) but i will prefer with her people because of loneliness,and depression, when you are done, this time is not a discussion man up and tell her, u are taking her out, make sure she know u are not kidding.
if she is bothered about u sis, tell her she will come stay with her during holidays.

as for your dad, well continue to pray for him. but you should that is because he sees food to chop that is why he is lazy. is like your mom is empowering him.(no offense)....

Lekan239:
he has nothing, just doing big man with nothing. There's a state university in my village and everywhere is booming, there is land. But my dad does not care about everything. Truthfully he could possibly sell some plot and put his life back together. But he chooses to be forming big and lazy man in ph

Tell her if she does not leave the house you'll kill yasef

Op you talk too much.

I wanna help
Where in ph are you ?
Dm your phone number

Lekan239:
ekiti state

Ooh... Ekiti.
Very typical.
It's a common denominator.