Vloml222:
@sepsis! You don't need to bother too much , this is your first kid , you should educate urself more on it and dont complain.some women get fat after delivery and with time she will go back to shape , when she stops breastfeeding ,and also the opposite.
Her appetite increased due to her breastfeeding to keep healthy .if she doesn't eat enough and your baby sucks alot she might end up pale and sick.anyways she getting fat isnt a big issue, Just be patient , when your kid starts taking solid and not much on breastmilk, you can encourage her with love to work on her weight , and keep fit...OP! Never you compare your wife or marriage with another.every marriage or spouse has what rocks their boat!.
And note this! As long your wife has started giving birth her hormones wont be the same.it happens to all women giving birth. You should be lucky if she just change in body size , that can be easily amended.
If she lack interest in sex..you are finished ooo.
Nothing can redeem that oo..
So encourage her with love , and dont nag or complain.
Is not easy on her too.

crackkhaus:

I believe that behaviour comes as a default factory setting in women.

Once you know how to handle them though, you will have very little problems - just tell them what you know they want to hear, but think the opposite in your mind to avoid too much wahala.

I even fear that if the OP pushes his wife too much, she will start accusing him of comparing her with other women and not loving/appreciating her enough after all the stress she went through giving birth to his baby - emotional manipulation has set in.

Na brain dem take dey follow these people...

Mariangeles:


Love is...

Protective
Nurturing
Supportive
Trusting
Faithful
Compassionate
Tender

.....
None of which the op is

Rozz:
don't be surprised this is a pot bellied man complaining about his wife weight here. Help her out by engaging her in some exercises to kip fit and attain the desired body you want and crave for rather than doing nothing but complain.

Vloml222:
@sepsis! If I may ask , how old is your baby?

Sepsis:


I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m not sure you read my post completely to understand it. Just wanted to respond and launch an attack and I get it. The internet is a place for everyone, including irrelevant people with dense opinions. Have a filled day

Sepsis:


Why do I have a feeling you’re in this marriage with me?

Ginaz:
Hmmmm. O.p take it easy on her eh.. it’s not easy. Keep loving her more cos she might be feeling bad about the whole thing inside too.

aeion:
[s] What useless competition is he introducing? This is a very unhealthy advice for a newly married couple. Besides, your advice could end up being counterproductive because she may believe he's cheating; she gets depressed and starts eating more. I'm sure the vows they took didn't include toying with each other's emotions. There are better ways to approach this without having to go that route and one that could create more problems for them[/s]

Sepsis:


This is a faceless forum and this section is notorious for maturity from probably experienced folks. I’ve never been married before. I don’t have the experience to deal with something like this. I just needed perspective on how to go about it without being overbearing.

There’s no point resorting to blackmail. Doesn’t do much to help. I’m just a ordinary man trying to do better in life.

igbowoman:


Post a picture of you with a hand written sign that shows today's date.
Dont show us your face let us be the judge of that shape.
Do it right away .
Then go and carry a baby and birth it and come back after 10 months to show another picture

Sepsis:


You read my post right? I’ve never complained. I’ve never mentioned it. Never brought it up. I support her by helping out at home. I go to the market, cook, run errands, and still work full time as a doctor plus side hussles. I think I am more hardworking and supportive than most Nigerian men are. That isn’t even something we should be talking about.

The crux of the matter is there. I wonder why most females responding to this post are conveniently avoiding it. Someone even tried to insult me above but I overlooked it. Are you guys saying that you don’t really get what the problem is?

Mariangeles:


Your concern is valid, but the way you went about it was wrong. Including your choice of words for the woman you claim to love.

How can I help my wife lose some weight? would have been more appropriate, then we would have gladly proffered some solutions as much as we are able to.

Sepsis:


You read my post right? I’ve never complained. I’ve never mentioned it. Never brought it up. I support her by helping out at home. I go to the market, cook, run errands, and still work full time as a doctor plus side hussles. I think I am more hardworking and supportive than most Nigerian men are. That isn’t even something we should be talking about.

The crux of the matter is there. I wonder why most females responding to this post are conveniently avoiding it. Someone even tried to insult me above but I overlooked it. Are you guys saying that you don’t really get what the problem is?

Sepsis:


This is disingenuous. And probably irrelevant. Reeks of cheap blackmail and nothing more. Biological roles are biological roles - they can’t be swapped. However, is it remotely possible that the consequences of those biological roles can be managed ?

Or are they untouchables ? Because you’re making it seem like this is an untouchable situation. Like basically I have no choice but to suck up to it.

Mariangeles:


The bolded does not help at all.
Like I suggested earlier, discuss it with her lovingly and supportively.
If she's reasonable and wise, she'd appreciate and love you for it.
Lack of communication is the killer of relationship

igbowoman:


What do you call ingenious?
A supposed married man with a 10 month old coming to badmouth his wife anonymously and even threatening to replace her on social media sounds ok?
You dont even have the balls to have a conversation with her but feel better hooded up to talk rubbish about her.

Sepsis:


And what makes you think I haven’t tried? I mean, you just assumed I haven’t made an effort and all I’m doing is whine and whine.

Ginaz:


I perfectly understand you and sympathize with you but as it is right now the whole solution boils down to your wife and how you handle the matter. How old is the baby ? Does she have someone who can look after the baby while she works out? You can decide to set up a workout calendar for her and be marking the dates yourself .

That’s what I do. I keep tracks of my workout by scoring myself on a note I have drew to keep me motivated.

What I’m trying to say is, she might be feeling bad inside too from the weight issue and don’t know how to go about it anymore . Kindly talk to her .. fix her in a gym class .. it may be she’s lazy cos she’s at home , when she goes out and see other people exercising she will be motivated.

Mariangeles:


You said so yourself "I've never mentioned it. I've never brought it up."
It doesn't help in any way....

igbowoman:
If the story is true,a medical doctor with 6 packs who is a hustler from akwa Ibom .hasn't been married too long with a fat wife and 10 month old baby.
She may just come across the thread.

igbowoman:


The story is totally made up and is evolving. Let's just play along

Sepsis:


Well. The things I’ve typed on this thread are not things I can hardly admit in person. I don’t know exactly what I’ve said here that’s a problem.

Someone told me she could cheat with a gym instructor (if I don’t do the exercises with her) and I said if it happens then no wahala. Does the feeling of dispensability make you feel less loved? Because they’re apples and oranges and I don’t get what the fuss is.

Btw, your background checks are spot on. Have to give you credit for those. You clearly have a lot of time on your hands.

igbowoman:


You dont even have the balls to have a conversation with her but feel better hooded up to talk rubbish about her.

igbowoman:


Hahahahahaha
Shifting goals eh
From crying about a fat unattractive hippopotamus of a wife to background checks and time on my hands.
I can see the reverse psychology u play on the poor woman at home if she even exists
Poor fat chic

Sepsis:


You really want to get on my nerves. Not gonna happen.

The only way you’re this bothered about this post is if it touches you personally. You probably can’t stand a man who isn’t attracted to fat woman right? I mean - how could he?

Because I don’t get why you’re so bothered. Doesn’t it surprise you how much time you’re giving to this than your personal life?