I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

Family issues are best sorted out internally!

ManOfSteel will never interfere

How can u visit someone that long in present day Nigeria?

Mother in-law don chop winch... Fried one.

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cook.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

Let them sort it out themselves...pls don't interfere ok. .


Update: That man shut himself in the leg that's all I can say but on the contrary you have to hear from both party before final conclusion....there is more to this unpalatable story.

The man just played himself he'll live to regret the cause of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Hmmm that man is still a boy

Husband and wife matter get as e be

Shit. Is like there's a vendetta on Nairaland to discourage single folks from getting married.

all these cooked up stories self

There is more to this story. The husband will never drive his wife away just because she asked if his family will stay with them permanently.

It's actually more than this @op. Alot would have happened than stated. No man in his right senses will beat and chase the woman he spent time and money to marry all because she asked a vital question that will help build a healthy home.

It will be difficult to give good advise until you hear from both sides.

Bilabong:
How can u visit someone that long in present day Nigeria?

Mother in-law don chop winch... Fried one.

the problem is not in staying at all.
it is the keeping the [b.wife in limbo[/b] and the unablement of the husband to put what the issues are to the wife in a very simple English
then there is the void between the husband mom dad and brother.
there is a problem that is hidden in this story

Unik3030:
all these cooked up stories self

Are you kidding me? These are daily occurrence in Nigeria Society . If i start narrating things Nigerians face in marriage you will definitely think is fiction. All this things are real . I have seen it happen numerous times.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

You told you a man that is close to his mother doesn't make a good husband? Or don't you know most men treat their wives like they treat their mum?

There is a difference between a good man and a stupid one irrespective of how close they are to their mother. Some are never close to their mum and still treat their wives sooo badly. Others are close to their mum and their wives are lucky to have them.

Don't go about giving marriage advise you know nothing about. It's obvious you are not married yet.

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.


The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.


As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cook.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. [s]The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around[/s]. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

there is a lot in the bolden

but the story does not add up

there is a whole lot that is not been said

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......[s]Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage[/s][i][/i].

Wtf!!! really? You r out of the league of a good Wife n obviously goodmother for saying this

Village emissaries don successfully come dabaru the guy life and marriage.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

may you witness same as a mother, may your son treat you the same way you suggest someones mother be treated... may you son's wife also keep asking for when you would leave the house of the child you spent every penny you begged for online to train say amen if you agree to your own comment

Nigerian women are generally wicked, were is the love? are we saying 5 people cant share 3 rooms and a parlour peacefully without quarrel ? My first time outside the country I spent almost a month in a tiny apartment with 2 rooms and a parlour, the husband and wife shares one room, their daughter and the man's neice shared another, while I slept in the seating room with the husbands younger brother.. we all enjoyed our time together and contributed to pay bills, buy groceries.. we hide from neighbors to avoid being reported for being overcrowded and early in the morning everyone is out of the door , saying our goodbyes at the subway station

Its absolute lack of love that make Nigerian women hate house helps and husbands family, they would even treat their kitchen like its a sacred temple meant for only them.. whats the big deal if anyone cooks while the wife is away, and once she's back she microwaves it and eat? the other occupants in the house can make themselves useful by cleaning the house and making everywhere tidy, and in the evening after meal they can all share stories or watch a movie together


.

solmus:



Nigerian women are generally wicked, were is the love? are we saying 5 people cant share 3 rooms and a parlour peacefully without quarrel ? My first time outside the country I spent almost a month in a tiny apartment with 2 rooms and a parlour, the husband and wife shares one room, their daughter and the man's neice shared another, while I slept in the seating room with the husbands younger brother.. we all enjoyed our time together and contributed to pay bills, buy groceries.. we hide from neighbors to avoid being reported for being overcrowded and early in the morning everyone is out of the door , saying our goodbyes at the subway station

Its absolute lack of love that make Nigerian women hate house helps and husbands family, they would even treat their kitchen like its a sacred temple meant for only them.. whats the big deal if anyone cooks while the wife is away, and once she's back she microwaves it and eat? the other occupants in the house can make themselves useful by cleaning the house and making everywhere tidy, and in the evening after meal they can all share stories or watch a movie together


.

Different folks, different strokes.
For Nigeria here;
Every married man should always differentiate between nuclear family and extended family. I think the man sidelined his wife way too much. This is also her house for crying out loud. The kitchen is very important for every woman. It's thier entitlement which you do not deprive them.
And I think there is more to this story than what we have read. They have already had plans to throw the wife out of the house prior to their arrival.

fashionale:


Different folks, different strokes.
For Nigeria here;
Every married man should always differentiate between nuclear family and extended family. I think the man sidelined his wife way too much. This is also her house for crying out loud. The kitchen is very important for every woman. It's thier entitlement which you do not deprive them.
And I think there is more to this story than what we have read. They have already had plans to throw the wife out of the house prior to their arrival.

like you said the story isn't stated fully..

and I understand the fact that a man needs to set realistic boundaries between the nuclear and extended family .. but in an unstable economy like Nigeria where you are a banker today with a house over your head you may turn homeless tomorrow without a job, its very important to see your family extended family and friends as a form of support system, because things can go south for them and they might actually be the ones needing to squat with families and relatives

for a temporary arrangement, tolerance is the key thing

.

The Man is immature.

Let the wife get her life together and focus on more important things.

That's your friend's (wife) part of the story... She'll definitely tell you the story in a way that favours her (that won't make her guilty). There's more to it that she may have refused to tell you. By the way, if the wife is a banker... how much is FOAM that she can't buy in order to improvise and manage pending the time her in-laws will leave? Assuming it was her relatives that came visiting, I'm sure that this kind of topic will not originate from your friend. Ladies matter is a course of study on it's own.

Even a Court will hear from both parties before advising/making necessary judgement. Unless I hear from both parties... I rather remain on the fence.

Alot not said like what and what?

How can 3 people from the same side of the couple visit a newly married couple and plan to stay so long?

They brought another wife for your friend's husband. The girlfriend of mother inlaw's brother is actually a new wife for your friend's husband. They were just waiting for the perfect time to throw your friend out.

Some mothers are made by the devil himself.

Well said but I figured her flaws and told her. And her flaws in the whole scenario are 1. She emphasized on the length of stay of her mum too often. Even tho it shouldn’t be a bigdeal coz it’s within her right to know, but it is what it is.

Evry other blame lies with d guy in my opinion. He can’t put his house together and failed to prove he’s now a man to his mum

Well said. Absolutely insane if u ask me

Can’t doubt ur view, very possible

This is clear evidence that the mother-in-law was not in support of the marriage from the very beginning!

May be I will be visiting politics and family sections now these days instead of romance section all the time. They don't have any good news for you except

1. Man drinks sniper after his wife divorced him


2. Man jumps from third mainland bridge after he fought with his wife


3. Man got crushed by trailer after his wife slapped him



When will "man" have peace of mind? Ehn? When?