Sixfeetbelle:


Exactly! (abeg put that gbamsolutely meme here)

I don't understand this long talk. Uncle said he doesn't like fat women yet she carry her head chook for inside marriage. Now she don fat finish and Uncle is here disturbing us about something that should have been avoided from the start.

Uncle should divorce her and marry exactly his spec. Women boku, especially the ones that won't add any weight. If he search well, he'll find those ones within a week.

My dear, I thank God say you self see am. Madam want marry by fire by force, she forget say uncle needs forever banging body. I even sure say both the breast and where pikin comot from go tire uncle because wear and tear don happen. His best solution is to look for hot baby oku, dem full for naija.

Is it that these ladies do not understand the effect of pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding on a woman's body or they are just being sarcastic. Slim ladies had weight after childbirth, you can't fault a lady for what something as natural as pregnancy does to her. You can only fault her lack of will to keep fit like she had when she wanted to marry the guy. Who knows, if she had had a visual revelation of what she would become after childbirth or the effort needed to kit fit, she may not have married the DOCTOR.


I think all she needs is to find her zeal to stay in shape again.

Ariza:
Is it that these ladies do not understand the effect of pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding on a woman's body or they are just being sarcastic. Slim ladies had weight after childbirth, you can't fault a lady for what something as natural as pregnancy does to her. You can only fault her lack of will to keep fit like she had when she wanted to marry the guy. Who knows, if she had had a visual revelation of what she would become after childbirth or the effort needed to kit fit, she may not have married the DOCTOR.


I think all she needs is to find her zeal to stay in shape again.

Thank God you are understanding us, marrying this doctor that expects Kim Kardashian kind of body from the wife would have been avoided if only the wife took her time to get the message earlier. There is nothing depressing as being under pressure to loose weight. But then, he can still meet his Kim.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

Mr Man u made ur wife what she is, u rendered her docile. Now she is useless to u. U better face ur warrant squarely.

Graxie:
Thank God you are understanding us, marrying this doctor that expects Kim Kardashian kind of body from the wife would have been avoided if only the wife took her time to get the message earlier. There is nothing depressing as being under pressure to loose weight. But then, he can still meet his Kim.

On the contrary, I applaud her courage for taking up the challenge, one with lots of benefits for that matter. It's really nice and healthy to keep fit, she understood her man's desire and worked towards it, however like I stated earlier she shouldn't have stopped because she's now MARRIED.

Moreover staying in shape will keep her healthy too.

Ariza:
On the contrary, I applaud her courage for taking up the challenge, one with lots of benefits for that matter. It's really nice and healthy to keep fit, she understood her man's desire and worked towards it, however like I stated earlier she shouldn't have stopped because she's now MARRIED.

Moreover staying in shape will keep her healthy too.

We all know, staying in shape keeps one healthy especially when you have good support system. Trying to loose weight under pressure leads to depression. She would have understood her man before marriage, any man that hates fat would have been a no go area. There is difference between tolerating and hating, the man hates it. From his story, she is still watching what she is eating and also observing portion control, how else does he expect a breastfeeding mom to watch weight? Just 10months after delivery, haba!!!

Sepsis:


She did. As a matter of fact she did so well to maintain her weight during pregnancy through controlled calorie intake. I was the one who was admonishing her to eat but she was the picky eater because she didn’t want to blow up.

Well it worked. We had a healthy baby. She was fine after delivery. Now it’s like she doesn’t care anymore. Like she can’t be bothered because the husband is going no where and she has a beautiful baby. It appears she’s content and nothing else is important.

I’m tired.



I agree wholeheartedly with this. Habits are key. The cause of this blowing up is the stress eating of junk earlier on but now the damage has been done. It reeks of indiscipline to eat carelessly and thinking about it just makes me mad. Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

A curse you say? Man you are heartless.... Truth is you never loved her

Mariangeles:


Love is...

Protective
Nurturing
Supportive
Trusting
Faithful
Compassionate
Tender
Patient
Understanding

.....
None of which the op is

Exactly....no atom of compassion at all....

Anybody advising this op is wasting his/her time.

This op never truly was attracted to his wife.

He married her for reason and he has not told us what it is.

I can bet that he has someone else in sight he already uses to compare with his wife.. and then being a doctor makes this pretty easy... all he is simply looking for is an excuse.. or a reason to explore his imagination.

I am sorry for your wife right now... this is why a woman should NEVER, I repeat never be a housewife... rather ensure you are always busy and have a life..

May God save women from immature boys with husband sized preeks.

femi4:
get another wife, if she goes fat....get another one. Continue like that till you can afford a gym

don't mind him, and he has not even been vocal about the thing, just whining and nagging around on nairaland.

Sepsis:


Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

You mean you now see your wife as a curse! cuz she's now overweight, you're definitely sick. Replace her now cuz you already said to replace her is just a matter of decision, olodo!

Sepsis:


That’s the problem I have- delivery. That’s exactly why I haven’t been vocal about it. I don’t want to come off as insensitive and overbearing and I don’t want to change the way things are negatively. I’m afraid I might never talk about it so it is not perceived as an issue. I’m aware it bothers her already and talking about it might plunge her self esteem further. She’s my wife - I love her with my life and sometimes I wish thick women were my type. Unfortunately, that’s not the case and hence this problem.

She’s taking care of the baby and it’s so demanding. She has been exercising at home but it’s not consistent and I don’t want to put her under that kind of pressure. I feel she should do it at her pace but it should be sustained. Problem is, she doesn’t care because there’s no incentive to it. Her attitude to the whole thing is more like - I have to manage her like that

You are not serious at all. Was she that extremely slim when you married her? Did you see her mother or her sister(s) before you married her? I thought you said you are a doctor? Most of the physiques we see in our celebrities on Instagram and other social media are not by mere exercise at home or diet. Most went for surgery and others refused to marry to keep their banging bodies which will still blow someday. You have to accept the reality, she can never be like before. And if you are already eyeing one single lady who is seducing you with her slim body tell us..

Graxie:
Thank God you are understanding us, marrying this doctor that expects Kim Kardashian kind of body from the wife would have been avoided if only the wife took her time to get the message earlier. There is nothing depressing as being under pressure to loose weight. But then, he can still meet his Kim.

You do know that Kim Kardashian got very fat during both her pregnancy right? Especially the second time....
She came back better than she ever was before she got pregnant. It's all about determination, discipline and self love.
It is not about the amount of weight you gain, just make sure to lose it.
There's no excuse to let go and eat everything in sight just because you had a baby. No excuse!
Young wives should step up. They need not be told these things. It's inexcusable!
My only problem with the guy is how he went about it. Other than that, he's within his rights.
Ladies should stop making excuses for staying fat. It's not even healthy.

Graxie:
There is nothing depressing as being under pressure to loose weight. But then, he can still meet his Kim.

There is no pressure. I’ve stated that severally but you guys seem to conveniently avoid it.

BrutusOj:
You are not serious at all. Was she that extremely slim when you married her? Did you see her mother or her sister(s) before you married her? I thought you said you are a doctor? Most of the physiques we see in our celebrities on Instagram and other social media are not by mere exercise at home or diet. Most went for surgery and others refused to marry to keep their banging bodies which will still blow someday. You have to accept the reality, she can never be like before. And if you are already eyeing one single lady who is seducing you with her slim body tell us..

It is okay to have a type. You women have a type of men you are attracted to and you are usually so vocal about it. We are socially conditioned to be acceptable of the type of men women find attractive - but heck not the man. Men should take any type of woman that comes his way and he should not have a preference as to what is his attractive specification.

This here is hypocrisy. If you are castigating me for having a type of woman I prefer, then you might as well castigate me for preferring eba to fufu. After all they are all swallow and they do the same thing.

foreveryoung1515:
You mean you now see your wife as a curse! cuz she's now overweight, you're definitely sick. Replace her now cuz you already said to replace her is just a matter of decision, olodo!

I’m sure you know how expressions work. I’m also sure you know about how ambiguation works with words. If I say I’m stuck with a curse, it means I’m stuck with a situation that’s refusing to get better. I didn’t say my wife was a curse. You guys read to react and respond and not to understand and it’s so unfortunate. I can’t be battling my issues and helping random people on the internet with comprehension of everything I say. It’s a lot of work.

Ishilove:
May God save women from immature boys with husband sized preeks.

This is totally beneath you. I know it because I’ve been a member of this forum since 2008. This is not my usual moniker. I know you can do better than this but if this is what you have truly become, then it is really sad.

trendyprettygir:

Anybody advising this op is wasting his/her time.

This op never truly was attracted to his wife.

He married her for reason and he has not told us what it is.

I can bet that he has someone else in sight he already uses to compare with his wife.. and then being a doctor makes this pretty easy... all he is simply looking for is an excuse.. or a reason to explore his imagination.

I am sorry for your wife right now... this is why a woman should NEVER, I repeat never be a housewife... rather ensure you are always busy and have a life..

Everything you’ve typed here is a conjecture. No facts just assumptions. You want these assumptions to be so true because you want to give me a bad name. My wife has a life. She is not a designated housewife. She’s probably has more assets than most of you who are talking about her choice to stay home temporarily but that’s not why we are here today.

A lot of you have sidestepped the issue totally in order to sympathize with a woman who hardly needs your emotions. You need to invest that attention in something that would actually be beneficial to you.

You women hate it when a man finds you dispensable. It is okay to love someone and not find them indispensable. Because the truth is, nobody really is indispensable. So would you rather I live a lie?

missdee384:
A curse you say? Man you are heartless.... Truth is you never loved her

I’ve addressed this prior so I’d just paste what I said earlier.

I’m sure you know how expressions work. I’m also sure you know about how ambiguation works with words. If I say I’m stuck with a curse, it means I’m stuck with a situation that’s refusing to get better. I didn’t say my wife was a curse. I’m referring to the problem not the person.

You guys read to react and respond and not to understand and it’s so unfortunate. I can’t be battling my issues and helping random people on the internet with comprehension of everything I say. It’s a lot of work.

infotainment:

Mr Man u made ur wife what she is, u rendered he docile. Now she is useless to u. U better face ur warrant squarely.

Lol. Dunno why a lot of you are trying to get on my nerves. Do you actually think something like this would get to me?

Graxie:
My dear, I thank God say you self see am. Madam want marry by fire by force, she forget say uncle needs forever banging body. I even sure say both the breast and where pikin comot from go tire uncle because wear and tear don happen. His best solution is to look for hot baby oku, dem full for naija.

You don’t have to be condescending you know that? Like it’s totally unnecessary.

Ariza:
You are really trying to sound politically right however the bolded gave you away. Deep down you are already contemplating giving her a PUSH a possible rival and being a Doctor gives you lots of chances and options.

This is a conjecture. A very wild one at that. Can we stick to the facts?

It’s good to see that you’re not allowing yourself to be guilt tripped, thumbs up!

Weight is a very touchy topic for women the world over but somehow, perhaps because a lot of brothers prefer thick; black women are able to sing “I’m sexy and I know it” no matter how big they get as long as the makeup, clothes, hair and nails are taken care of. While the continued confidence despite expanding size is great, it often comes with self denial and an inability to accept responsibility for the continued increase in size. We just keep buying larger clothes which in itself is a big problem. This all works fine unless you are married to a man who does not like “fat sex.”

I’m a black woman too so I’m not knocking anybody and I would find it very difficult to tolerate a fat or pot bellied husband. I have been pregnant and I have kids so I know all about what happens to the body however that experience does not condemn you to a life of fat. Staying in shape takes time, sacrifice and commitment. It is not a walk in the park. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

I hope you and your wife find a workable solution, don’t give up on her. Hopefully, she has the right support around her and she’s not listening to anyone telling her to “rock her fat” because she birthed a child.

Some people like fat sex, some don’t. Like you said, some like eba and some like fufu.

Sepsis:


You don’t have to be condescending you know that? Like it’s totally unnecessary.

Sepsis:


I’m a doctor. I work full time and weekends too plus I run errands for the house and I cook too. I have side hussles to keep money coming in. Long and short is, I’m an extremely busy man.

I don’t care if anybody snatches anyone. If it happens, it’s all for the best. I’m in the best shape of my life and all it takes to find a replacement is a decision.

Slow down Mr Doctor. You are yet to understand what love really is. Just few years of marriage and the love is dead already. Don't ask me how I know, it's so obvious from the tone of your post. Please don't body shame her, show her love and help her in whatever way you can e. g registering her in a gym. It could be the other way round, God forbid but what if you are involved in a ghastly motor accident and confined in a wheelchair? I'm sure you would want her stay by your side. Oga please the beauty of a woman goes beyond a slim and banging body. Take it easy before you destroy your marriage for no good reason. Love conquers all things

Sepsis:


10 months.

And you are complaining already. Please give the woman a space joor. Breastfeeding makes some women fat and you claim to be a doctor. Let her stop breastfeeding first

Mariangeles:


You do know that Kim Kardashian got very fat during both her pregnancy right? Especially the second time....
She came back better than she ever was before she got pregnant. It's all about determination, discipline and self love.
It is not about the amount of weight you gain, just make sure to lose it.
There's no excuse to let go and eat everything in sight just because you had a baby. No excuse!
Young wives should step up. They need not be told these things. It's inexcusable!
My only problem with the guy is how he went about it. Other than that, he's within his rights.
Ladies should stop making excuses for staying fat. It's not even healthy.

You are using Kim as a yardstick. I hope the Op has the kind of money that can afford Kim's kinds of weight reduction surgery?

Ouchbabe:

And you are complaining already. Please give the woman a space joor. Breastfeeding makes some women fat and you claim to be a doctor. Let her stop breastfeeding first

I’m sure you can make your point without the ad hominem. Why is there an assumption that she is currently breastfeeding? There is no where on this thread that I mentioned it.

Ouchbabe:

You are using Kim as a yardstick. I hope the Op has the kind of money that can afford Kim's kinds of weight reduction surgery?

Unnecessary.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

Pregnancy and after child birth makes a woman to be fat especially when she throws caution to the wind

As she is still breast feeding, she will have to eat enough so that she can lactate very well

Since she knows your type of woman, she has to work towards it because she will still add more weight for every child birth

Get a weight measuring scale for her

Seat her down and let her know that it's ment for her to do workout and reduce her weight so that she can fit into what shape you did want her to be and let her know how serious you are about it and she should start cutting down on her meals

Then the issue of seeing fat ladies as lazy people, you are already laying a foundation for her

She doesn't go to market, you cook most of the times.

Do what does she do, watching over her child ❓

You are praising her that she takes care of your child, it's her duty to do that so there is no special applause for that

You have made yourself virtually the house help at home, pls that is not love, you are creating more problems

Let her start doing those things while you look after the child

She will burn energy doing so

Don't come here and complain that she left everything for you and she is too lazy

Take caution now, let her do those things, more kids are coming

She is yet to know her duties at home

Ouchbabe:

Oga please the beauty of a woman goes beyond a slim and banging body

I’m rather surprised that the concept of attraction has a whole different approach when a man is involved. Women are allowed to have tastes in a mate and be vocal about it. Definitely not men.

MMotimo:


I hope you and your wife find a workable solution, don’t give up on her. Hopefully, she has the right support around her and she’s not listening to anyone telling her to “rock her fat” because she birthed a child.

I’m down with this. Already started making moves in this direction. Thank you.