Daboomb:


I dont want to quote all you wrote, even when what l want to point out can be found in almost every two lines of text you wrote!

I am appalled at how guys like you MAKE EXCUSES for what a woman does wrong, in a deft manner at justifying it and absolving her of responsibility! Probably you crave the approval/acceptance of women who will read your post...probably.

It is either the man want to control her, the man wants to control her money, she is snapping because of children pressure, or because of her family in Nigeria or because she is doing double job or Nursing job or because the husband has 'African mentality' of because the husband cant cook or wash her panties and all manner of nauseating EXCUSES.
The irony is that you wussy men dont make the same EXCUSES for the Man!

If you must make excuses for bad and intollerable behaviour, please make it for both spouses, at least be fair to both of them.

This sort 'partiality' that permits and excuses crazy behaviour in marriage, is perhaps the biggest reason why marriages are breaking up at an alarming rate and the next generation dont think marriage is important, especially now that a gay guy like Anderson Cooper of CNN is showing the world (using CNN platform), that you dont need a wife to be a father and have Children!

I tell you, we are very close to the time when the two things that INFORM and SUSTAIN most marriages (SEX and CHILDREN), with be unnecessary to come from a woman and l hope women are ready to live by the rules, when that happens.

No beat me, No beat me, na somewhere e dey end o.

Kobojunkie:

Prenups are not as ironclad as you think...not anymore.

jaxxy:


Lefulefu on the beat. I think ive learnt how to pronounce ur moniker now. Making sense all day.

Men shud learn how to detect gals prone to easily changing with environment and circumstances. They are not worth investing in bt then a wife shudnt be made to be a financial investment either, working for u like sm bondage or modern day slavery. It shud be a free will thing of appreciation as with any other humanbeing.

When a person has always been broke u can't easily know their real character, it takes a special skill and experience to know, even the broke person smtimes doesn't know his or her own real character either bt it usually swings the wrong way.

When u see sm1 with a good level of exposure and still well mannered. Those kind of people are Gold. Solid Gold!

MOnkeyBabe:
Guys Cool it .lol.
Here's an interesting one for you Ramses. I left Nigeria to the U.s at 14. Now 24. Exactly 10 years. I wasn't born in the U.s., neither am I a fReSher. What Does that make me?

Jim99:


Letting her be in control of your hard earned cash and making important decisions in your house. Man that's the height of it.

I feel sorry for ya

wiseone28:
Who made these stupid laws..

Men or women?

Glaxxs:
Stupid laws because they favor the women?

MOnkeyBabe:
came here to school when I was 14. Hadn't reached the age of maturity by the time I moved. Am I as good as a Citizen? How would my growing up be classified? NiGeRiAn or Yankee?

Skmoda360:

Just leave me and my opinion ooo....ok madam

dangoteinlaw:
then look at the ones that married whites lot of them are living happily eg Dr DRe, even snoopdogg never married at all but had kids with black ladies, that further confirms the op ascension that black ladies are toxic. These rappers above where alpha males who knew their way around women and at the end got a better deal. Although some whites weren't that lucky eg Jeff benzos

toprealman:

The insult is not necessary at all if you took time to understand his point.
He is referring to Naija girls that turn to wild beast when they are picked and brought to Yankee by a Nigerian brother.
Let's not be quick to throw punches on certain issues......

XhosaNostra:


Isn't it sad that the only time they're good enough to date one is when they have some sort of standing in life & suddenly their own is not good enough anymore? Black people with that "white is an achievement" mentality kinda make you wish they had their own race.

lenghtinny:

That sh*t irks me a lot...

I’ve seen a couple of guys end up with white women they won’t even look at twice if she was black...... They worship the ground these white girls walk on and then want black girls to lick the sole of their feet in return.
Look at them bashing black girls abroad forgetting that it’s the white girls culture that gave women such rights.

emmaodet:


Common broda, are you saying the ladies at home are small small girls who neva open eye? why do we think by default anybody at home is unexposed and local? things are not like before you know? some industries back at home opened up people like oil and gas, maritime, IT, a lot of places you can work and earn decent incomes that will warrant you to live a good life and take vacations.
A lot of people are doing fine at home bro. I think it is kind of unfair to think by been abroad you are automatically more exposed than the people in nigeria.
okay, what about guys going to that abroad for vacations, courses and then come back home. Can we categorise them as still unexposed?
Have travelled to so many countries through company and personally yet am at home and someone in abroad cant boast they are more exposed than me, i wont agree with them. On my own, have been to Napoli in italy, UAE and india while with company many more.

Ent3rpreneur:
I'm here, I Don land. I never read all the pages for the other thread, I still dey like page 25..

I go fit finish am today or tomorrow.
PDudd, lefulefu, fire on

abbey621:


Read again buddy but this time more slowly, if a man can get a woman to do everything he wants without force, what more control do you need?

wany:

That is called social class, let men stop marrying down. But marry ladies in their social class and threads like this on nairaland will seize to exist.I can't just get it when enlighten,expose,educated working class brothers end up with broke ladies all in the name of am are hero,so that she can see you as a demi god,it always end in tears.go for your social class.

abbey621:
Y'all ned to chill out with these scare tactics. I've been married to my wife for 5 years now in this America and she still cooks, serves me food and even water to wash hands. It's all about what you have to offer and how well trained your wife is. Any woman abroad or at home that feels such is beneath them can go to hell, yes in the USA women reign supreme but there are ways to be diplomatic yet be in charge. Give a woman access to bank accounts, let her control the shopping in the household, maintain your sexual prowness and continue to bring in good income and I emphatically tell you as a man you can get away with almost anything. Let her think she's driving the ship, for example, give her access to your bank accounts and credit cards but keep certain accounts private for rainy days. This is America , most people have 4 or more accounts. Get life insurance and investments list her and the children as beneficiaries, this kind thing will sweet her die. Encourage her, build her up, let her have a career. In short let her win the many numerous little battles while you win the war. As time goes on, you'll realize you've gotten her to do exactly what you wanted without force...This is how real men in America operate....BE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE WHILE HOPING FOR THE BEST, SEE IT AS A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT, EVERYONE MUST DO HIS OR HER PART!

This is the origin of the problem.... It’s evil to hold on to a fellow human’s freedom.

They come to naija to marry the so called naive village girl not because they are looking for a wife. They are looking for a robot without a mind of their own they can tame, control and turn into a money making machine if possible.

They will often bring a naive village girl to America to work as a nurse while they suddenly become leeches.

Then they want to control the money she makes simply because they bore the expenses that brought her to God’s own country which isn’t much different from the modus operandi those Italian based madams use for naive edo girls (no apologies)

Most of the blame lies at the man’s doorstep. Why not develop yourself instead of looking someone you will treat like a lab rat

wiseone28:
Hmm i see why almost 70% of people in America have been in a previous marriage or so..


At the end of the day na them dey sing love song pass

pDudd:
[s]First tip: Leave that your native brain in Nigeria.

If you're the kind of man that will sit on the sofa and be watching UEFA champions league and be telling a woman that she should go and cook, serve you, bring you water to drink and wash hand, you are in for a rude shock. Nigerian women in US have opened eye now o. They are not going to serve you like master and servant while your stretch your legs on sofa and be watching football.[/s]

[s]If your mother did that for your father, please go and marry your mother so she too can come and be serving you like a king. Nigerian women ain't doing that for you.

Before you leave Nigeria, better learn how to cook, clean house, do laundry, go to buy groceries, take care of kids, and learn humility.

Learning humility is of utmost importance because the day you step your feet into America, you are now second to every woman. The American society favors women over men. They placea lot of value over men. So if you didn't respect women in Nigeria, you may need to reconsider that stance. And if you can't see yourself having a woman above you or respecting women, then better stay in Nigeria.



Next tip: All you old men that have spent 20 years following Akata and are now looking for unmarriedd younger girls in Nigeria who you want to turn into RNs and use her as your ATM, believing that she is a "good girl" and that she will be a good obedient wife, who will be at your beck and call.

You guys are looking for to go to an early grave and lose everything you have worked for since the 20 years you've been in Yankee. I implore you, please stop doing that nonsense.

There is nothing like a humble Nigerian girl. The ones that appear humble are just broke. The day money enters her hand is the day you will know her true colors. Now in US, you will find an elderly guy in his late 40s or 50s. They came to US in their 20s and hustled Akata for paper, and thereafter became legal. Instead of going to school, gain an education, and improve their standard of living, they take up security guard jobs, CNA jobs, and taxi driver jobs. They spend gruelling years doing these low paying jobs and saving pennies to eventually go to Nigeria and do big wedding and marry a small naive village girl, thinking that they are investing in her so that she will yield fruits and serve him in his old age.

Notice that Nigerian men are always looking for women to serve them cheesy

Well, these small naive girls come to US, go to nursing school, become LVNs or RNs. They then begin to make lots of money and they will begin to open eye grin

Lefulefu come and back me up here.


Those small, naive, village girls suddenly begin making about $3500 or more every 2 weeks. Back in Nigeria, they weren't even making 3500 naira every month. This kind of money blows their minds and they don't even know how to spend it anymore. The man who is her husband and invested in her now wants to control the money and keep her in a subservient position.

At that point in time, that is when the girls father in the village knows that he wants to receive chieftaincy title. Also that is the time the mother knows that she wants to become Lolo of NdiOhia. . That is also when the girls brother wants to open spare parts shop in Alaba. That is the time when the girls sister wants to get married. The entire family of the girl begins to pester her for money. Also at this same time, the girls husband wants to start to build block of flats in Nnewi. Also he feels that he is old enough to receive chieftaincy title in his village as well. All these things costs lots of money.

The pressure on the poor girls starts mounting. She has one or two kids at this point but she starts to work extra hours and overtime at work. Putting in a lot of exhausting energy into trying to fulfil the dreams of everyone. Instead of the husband to understand, he is not sympathetic to her. After all she is his investment and she better yield fruits. She begins to burn out slowly but surely. She needs support at home but the husband expects her to work for 12 to 13 hours, come home, prepare eba and ogbono soup for him, take care of the kids, and then open toto for him to Bleep cheesy. Tomorrow again it is back to the same routine up to 7 days a week.

One day all the pressure gets too much and then the bubble pops. The woman, under intense financial pressure from her extended family coupled with her unsupportive husband and work-family life, crumbles under it all. And what usually kicks it off? Money of course. Or the lack thereof.

The man, wanting to control the finances of the woman, starts a quarrel about how much he invested to bring her to America. Because of all the stress upon the woman and women being very emotional creatures, she snaps. She insults the husband with the greatest insult of his life. She neglects all he has done and acts on emotion. The man too, unable to stomach the insult, verbally and physically attacks the woman.

Now it always ends in 2 ways. If the woman is still alive after the physical attack, she calls the police and they arrest him for domestic violence. She files a restraining order against him and he cannot return back to the house he bought and the home he built.

The second way it ends is that the man attacks his wife and kills her with his security guard job service pistol or he strangles or stabs her to death with a kitchen knife.

In both cases, the police arrive and arrest the man. And then the family breaks up and most times can not be rebuilt anymore. It becomes a broken home with shatters dreams.

Kennedyiheme02:
I wonder how peoole hustle and leave nigeria only to gi there and start looking for naija women to marry... god forbid.. the one wey i do for naija never do... so i go leave latina, whity con go dey find naija woman... any man that does that has some psychological problem for real

wany:

That is called social class, let men stop marrying down. But marry ladies in their social class and threads like this on nairaland will seize to exist.I can't just get it when enlighten,expose,educated working class brothers end up with broke ladies all in the name of am are hero,so that she can see you as a demi god,it always end in tears.go for your social class.

lenghtinny:

This is the origin of the problem.... It’s evil to hold on to a fellow human’s freedom.

They come to naija to marry the so called naive village girl not because they are looking for a wife. They are looking for a robot without a mind of their own they can tame, control and turn into a money making machine if possible.

They will often bring a naive village girl to America to work as a nurse while they suddenly become leeches.

Then they want to control the money she makes simply because they bore the expenses that brought her to God’s own country which isn’t much different from the modus operandi those Italian based madams use for naive edo girls (no apologies)

Most of the blame lies at the man’s doorstep. Why not develop yourself instead of looking someone you will treat like a lab rat